


Revelations, Love & Fears

by moonlight_roses



Series: Revelations [1]
Category: Tennis RPF
Genre: Adult Content, Crossover, M/M, Male Slash, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-07-25
Packaged: 2017-12-06 15:02:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 134,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlight_roses/pseuds/moonlight_roses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Revelations cause everything to change, but the fear of getting hurt makes things harder than they have to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue I

**Author's Note:**

> This did not happen. The characters in this story don't belong to me, I don't even know them. I don't make any money from this, just writing for fun and not for profit. 
> 
>  
> 
> “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.” [Bertrand Russell]

 

 

**Introductory comment**

This story is based on the idea that Roger Federer, besides his obvious talent in playing tennis, also pursues a career as a singer, songwriter and producer. Since that aspect takes a pretty big role in my story I'm burrowing songs, music videos etc. from other artists such as Beyoncé, Kings of Leon, Snow Patrol, Leona Lewis, Alicia Keys, besides a lot more. The songs and videos are not mine, they belong to their rightful owners, I only play with them, which includes altering some of the titles to fit better with the concept of  Roger as the singer.

 _Revelations, Love & Fears_ is the first part of the Revelations series. I'm currently expecting the series to consist of four, maybe five parts, but I'm not sure about that yet. I've completed the first part (RLF), it's currently being read by my beta-reader and I can tell you that it consists of about 130,000 words. Since it's completed I will be able to post it pretty quickly, though I'm not promising regular updates since I might be too busy to keep up with a set schedule.

About the story itself, as you can see it starts with a prologue. I've had the idea of doing this in the form of Wikipedia articles, since I felt like I needed to do a proper introduction of the setting of this story. So, everything you need to know about that parallel career of Roger's is explained here, how it started, what he's done so far, etc. It's very helpful to get where this story takes off, though, and I recommend reading it. Throughout the story I'll be posting a lot of links to go with the descriptions of performances, concerts etc. I was trying my best to describe the scenes in this story, but I know that links can expire and I apologize if that happens and I haven't fixed it by the time you read the story.

Well, this prologue is obviously something different and unusual, and I just hope that you'll like it. The rest of the story is, well, more of a story, so if you don't like this, no worries! Still, I'm curious about what you think, so don't hesitate to comment, good or bad ^^

 

 

 

~~~****~~~

 

*** 

The songs mentioned in the prologue are all songs by Beyoncé (or Destiny's Child), with  _The Beautiful One_ s by Prince being the only exception. The other songs mentioned are labelled as covers. Some of the Wikipedia articles are partly original, also most of the comments on the songs. It's still fiction, though, and I cannot give any guarantee on the following content.  

***

 

 

**en.Wikipedia.org/wiki/Roger_Federer**

 

 **Roger Federer** (German pronunciation: [ˈfeːdəʁɐ]) (born 8 August 1981) is a Swiss professional tennis player who held the ATP number one position for a record 237 consecutive weeks.

Federer has won the men's record 16 Grand Slam singles titles. He is one of seven male players to capture the career Grand Slam and one of three (with Andre Agassi and Rafael Nadal) to do so on three different surfaces (clay, grass and hard courts). He is the only male player in tennis history to have reached the title match of each Grand Slam tournament at least 5 times. Many sports analysts, tennis critics, and former and current players consider Federer to be the greatest tennis player of all time. 

Federer has appeared in an unprecedented 23 career Grand Slam finals, of which 10 were consecutive appearances, and appeared in 18 of 19 finals over the four and a half years from the 2005 Wimbledon Championships through the 2010 Australian Open, the lone exception being the 2008 Australian Open. He holds the record of reaching the semifinals or better of 23 consecutive Grand Slam tournaments over five and a half years from the 2004 Wimbledon Championships through the 2010 Australian Open. At the 2011 US Open he reached a record 30th consecutive Grand Slam quarterfinal.

Federer has won a record five ATP World Tour Finals (shared with Ivan Lendl and Pete Sampras) and 17 ATP Masters Series tournaments (tied second all-time). He also won the Olympic gold medal in doubles with his compatriot Stanislas Wawrinka at the 2008 Summer Olympic Games. For the past eight years (2003–2010) he has been in the top two in the year-end rankings. He is also included in two of the greatest rivalries in the sport with Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic.

As a result of Federer's successes in tennis, he was named the Laureus World Sportsman of the Year for a record four consecutive years (2005–2008). He is often referred to as The Federer Express or abbreviated to Fed Express, or FedEx, the Swiss Maestro or simply Maestro. In 2011, Federer was ranked No. 25 in Forbes Celebrity 100 List.

 

Aside his tennis career, Federer has also made his impact in the music business. After performing _Run_ , a cover of the Snow Patrol song from their _Final Straw_ album during the Hit For Haiti charity event, Federer earned enormous praise for his vocal performance which has been described as ‘full of emotion, yet controlled and beautifully executed’, with several sources claiming him to be ‘a true talent in the making’. Even after Federer claimed that his performance had been a one-time occasion and would not be repeated, reports insisted that he had started working on an album. Nothing of this was confirmed at that time.

Federer then appeared on a musical stage again on the final date of Beyoncé’s third world tour, and performed his self-written song _Irreplaceable_ for the first time, produced by Stargate and Federer himself. His appearance caused immense public attention and the YouTube video of his performance quickly became the most-watched video of 2010. _Irreplaceable_ was released to radio stations that same night, receiving frequent airplay because of Federer’s rising popularity as a singer in both America and Europe. The song was released as a single the next week and charted at #10 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, the following week peaking at #1 and staying there for 5 consecutive weeks. The song also did strongly on charts worldwide.

After _Irreplaceable_ ’s enormous success, Federer began working on his yet to be released debut album. He admitted to be collaborating with producers such as Swizz Beatz, Stargate, Sean Garrett, Toby Gad and Ne-Yo among others. He’s expected to release the highly anticipated album at the end of 2010.

 

**Early life**

**Tennis career**

**Music career**

Federer’s music career started when he performed _Run_ by Snow Patrol at the Hit For Haiti event on 17 January 2010. After the Haiti earthquake, Federer had organized the charity event to raise money and aid the victims. With the help of other tennis players such as Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic and Serena Williams, the event raised around 400,000 $ US Dollar. At the conclusion of the event, Beyoncé Knowles appeared as a surprise guest and asked Federer to perform the song.

The Swiss later claimed that, though he had been the one who had asked Beyoncé to appear at the event, he hadn’t known that she had planned to ask him to sing _Run_. Federer also stated that the positive response his performance had received surprised him, even though he admitted to being excited about it. He also insisted that there were no plans for him to start a music career, leaving media as well as fans highly disappointed.

Yet, after debuting _Irreplaceable_ , Federer admitted that the throughout positive responses to his “musical experiment”, as he called it, had made an impression on him. He also admitted that it had been Beyoncé who had pushed him to believe in himself and his music. Rumors claim that it had been her who had fixed Federer up with Columbia Records, the record label she herself is recording for and that is owned by her husband, rapper Jay-Z.

On February 18, 2010, Federer joined Beyoncé on stage of her world tour and after performing _Run_ with her as a duet, Federer introduced his own song for the first time. The Swiss gained huge applause from the audience, with music critics later claiming that “Federer’s appearance had definitely been one of highlights of Beyoncé’s final show of her impressive tour”, owning the crowd with “his undeniable unique voice” and “strong songwriting and production”, leaving “everyone in wonder what else he has got up his sleeve”.

 _Irreplaceable_ was released as a single the same night. It quickly became a hit in America, rising from #10 in its first week on the Billboard Hot 100 chart to #1 the following week and staying there for 5 consecutive weeks. It was certified platinum and received intense radio airplay not only in America, but worldwide. It rose to the top of the charts across the world, including Switzerland, Germany, Australia as well as the UK.

In an interview Federer admitted that he had “never dreamed of having such success” with his song and stated that after having received so many positive comments and having so many people loving his music, he had set his mind on “going all the way and making an album”. This yet untitled album is expected to drop sometime late in 2010 and it’s highly anticipated by media and fans. To bridge the time between his first single and his debut album, Federer released an EP in February 2010, entitled _Run: The EP_.

 

 **Irreplaceable** (Roger Federer song)

 _Irreplaceable_ is a song written by professional tennis player Roger Federer and was produced by Stargate and Federer himself. The song is Federer’s debut single as a singer, having started a singing career after the general approval of his _Run_ performance at the Hit For Haiti event in January 2010.

It was released to iTunes right after Federer’s first performance of the song at Beyoncé Knowles’ world tour on February 18, 2010. Also, it was sent to radio the day after. The YouTube video of its performance first became the most watched video of that week and later of 2010 altogether.

Federer’s performance as well as the song itself gained positive review from music critics, especially for its guitar-driven melody and the songwriting. For the latter, Federer was especially praised. Roger Friedman of the Fox News Channel called _Irreplaceable_ “a clever ballad”, stating that it’s “one of the most memorable tracks on the radio at the moment”. Bill Lamb of the website About.com complimented the song’s production and listed _Irreplaceable_ as the best R &B song of the year, noting: “This song has modern-day classic written all over it”.

In its week, _Irreplaceable_ reached #10 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart from download alone. After being released as a single the week following to the first performance, _Irreplaceable_ peaked at #1 and stayed there for 5 consecutive weeks, making it both the first #1 hit by a Swiss on the Billboard Charts ever as well as one of the most successful singles of the year.

 

**Run: The EP**

_Run: The EP_ is the first extended play (EP) by rising singer Roger Federer released on 12 March 2010. The EP was released three weeks after Federer’s first single _Irreplaceable_ and served as something to bridge the gap for his fans whilst Federer was working on his debut album. The EP consists of five cover versions: _Run_ by Snow Patrol, _Hurt_ by Nine Inch Nails, _Iris_ by the Goo Goo Dolls, _Colorblind_ by Counting Crows and _Stop Crying Your Heart Out_ by Oasis. The EP garnered positive response with music critics praising Federer’s haunting, flawless vocal performance, though they also expressed that it was “nothing but a gap filler. The real test will be Federer’s debut album, and as beautiful as his covers are, if he wants to establish himself as a singer long-term, he better delivers something that hasn’t been there before”.

The EP debuted at number one on the US Billboard 200 charts. No singles were released off the EP.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~~~ ****~~~

 

**INTERVIEW: Digital Spy, with Roger Federer (12 May 2010) [Extracts]**

 

D.S.: Roger Federer, your first single _Irreplaceable_ was an immense success. Congratulations for that.

 

R.F.: Thank you.

 

D.S.: You’re hard at work on your debut album. Can you tell us how far you’ve come with the project?

 

R.F.: It’s almost done. I’m currently deciding which songs are going to make the final cut, since I have about 40 songs to choose from, so it’s not all that easy.

 

D.S.: The first song the public ever heard you sing was a ballad, your first single is a mid-tempo pop ballad with R&B influences. What can we expect from your first album?

 

R.F.: With my first album I’ve tried to find my own style, and I think I’ve managed to do just that. There’s contemporary R&B, there’s pop, but there’s also soul, dance and hip hop. It’s got everything that I love about music. There’s one song that I love very much; it’s very ‘80s with synthesizers and it really builds in tempo and volume.

 

D.S.: Your album is expected to be released on June 4. Do have a title yet?

 

R.F.: Yes. The album’s title is _Me, Myself and I_.

 

D.S.: Explain your choice, please.  

 

R.F.: I called my first album _Me, Myself and I_ because I think it was the best way to introduce myself as a musical artist. As a matter of fact I have very different sides to me that vary enormously, and this album is meant to represent that. My life is now divided in, like, three parts: the tennis, the music, both the parts in which I’m fierce and strong and always fighting, and of course my private life which is the exact opposite. My music is meant to represent that. There will be fierce aggressive songs that are strong, intense and full of energy. That’s the way I am as a tennis player and now as a singer. And then there are the songs that show my softer side, ballads about love and happiness. Every song on the album is very personal. You could say I’m introducing myself again, this time through my music.

 

D.S.: Will there be another single out before the album?

 

R.F.: Yes. My second single is called Crazy In Love and I’m actually going to perform it for the first time on the Ellen Show this week.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 ~~~****~~~

 

**Wikipedia**

**Crazy In Love (Roger Federer song)**

_Crazy In Love_ is the second single released from Roger Federer’s debut album _Me, Myself and I_. It features a guest appearance of Jay-Z and Beyoncé, the latter submitting background vocals. The song is an R &B love song and incorporates elements of ‘70s-style funk, soul and dance-pop genres. It features a sample from The Chi-Lites’ song “Are You My Woman (Tell Me So)”, used as the song’s horn hook. The lyrics reference to a romantic obsession that causes the protagonist to act out of character.

Federer debuted _Crazy In Love_ on the Ellen DeGeneres Show on May 27, 2010. It was sent to radio and was released the following day. It went to the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100 in its first week, despite having been released only three days before the next week, and has been certified quadruple-platinum by the RIAA within two months, having sold over 4.2 million singles and digital downloads combined in the US alone. Internationally, the song performed just as successfully, reaching the top ten on the singles charts of Australia, Brazil, Canada, Ireland, Italy, New Zealand, the Netherlands, Spain, Germany, the United Kingdom and Switzerland beside others. It was awarded platinum in many of these countries.

The song has sold more than 8 million copies worldwide, becoming one of the best-selling singles of all time worldwide.

 

**Composition**

_Crazy In Love_ is a R &B love song, composed in the keys of D minor and G major. It incorporates ‘70s-style funk music and contains influences of soul music as well as dance-pop music. It’s built on a hip hop beat. Federer told The Sunday Herald that the beat is “so hard that it makes your heart hurt”. Federer’s vocal range spans around one and a half octave in the song, with one of the main vocal riffs using the traditional cowbell rhythm often found in samba music. Lisa Verrico of The Times magazine wrote that “Crazy In Love makes use of big drums and bits of bass”.

 

**Lyrical content**

According to Natalie Nichols of Los Angeles Times, the lyrics of Crazy In Love reference to a state of romantic obsession. Federer said that the song talks “about how, when you are falling in love, you do things that are out of character and you do not really care because you are just open”. Anthony DeCurtis of Rolling Stone wrote that Crazy In Love has “such a cauldron of energy” that Federer sounds “loose and sexy”, gripped by emotions he “can neither understand nor control”. Jay-Z opens the song with a brief spoken verse-rap, containing the lyrics: “Yes!  So crazy right now. Most incredibly, she girl, B. He boy, Young. You ready?”

After Federer delivers the “uh-oh-uh-oh” catchphrase, Jay-Z continues the monologue: “History in the making, part two”. This line is considered to be a suggestion that Federer is “gonna make history” in music, after also re-writing most of the history books in tennis, according to an interview by Jay-Z.

Federer begins the first verse, followed with the whistle-backed chorus in which Beyoncé is singing in the background. The “uh-oh-uh-oh” is repeated, leading to the second verse. The chorus follows, giving away to the second verse-rap which contains the lyrics: “Jay-Z in the range, crazy and deranged […]” The song continues in the bridge, with Federer singing: “I’m not myself, lately I’m foolish, I don’t do this. I’ve been playing myself, baby, I don’t care. ‘Cuz your love’s got the best of me, and baby you’re making a fool of me. You got me sprung and I don’t care who sees”. He then sings the chorus again and the song fades out with the horns.

 

**Critical Reception**

_Crazy In Love_ was lauded by contemporary music critics who complimented the horn lines and the guest appearance of Jay-Z. Many of them called it the Summer Anthem of 2010. Tim Sendra of Allmusic described the song as a “stunning pop masterpiece”, while Stephen Thomas Erlewine of the same website called it “deliriously catchy”. Darryl Sterdan of Jam! noted that the song is “instantly addictive”. Anthony DeCurtis of Rolling Stone wrote: “ _Crazy In Love_ roars out of the speakers on the strength of a propulsive horn sample and the charged presence of Jay-Z”.

 _Crazy In Love_ is considered the best song of the year by some, praising the instrumentation, harmonies and the rap verse of Jay-Z. Kelefa Sanneh of The New York Times wrote that “ _Crazy In Love_ is the best of the year thanks to its simplicity, irresistible combination of triumphant horns and wicked hip-hop beat”. She added that “Federer’s vocals are out of this world – deft and accurate, and they convey none of the giddy rush that the lyrics describe”.

Rob Fitzpatrick of NME called _Crazy In Love_ a “head-nodding and body-rocking funk-soul genius” and wrote that it is “100 per cent the monster hit Federer needed to establish himself completely as a musical powerhouse in modern business”. Likewise, several other music critics agreed that _Crazy In Love_ confirmed Federer as one of the biggest music talents of modern times, claiming that the song was even better than his debut single Irreplaceable and that Federer had “definitely found the perfect niche: R &B with dance-pop, funk and soul influences”.

 

**Accolades**

_Crazy In Love_ was nominated for a Grammy Award in the categories Best R &B Song, Best Rap/Sung Collaboration and Record of the Year (won all but Best R&B Song; lost out to Federer’s other single _Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)_ ). In Europe, _Crazy In Love_ won the Best Song award at the MTV Europe Music Awards and the award for Best Collaboration at the BET Awards.

 

**Chart Performance**

_Crazy In Love_ was Federer’s second number one single in the United States, reaching the #1 spot in its first week after release and staying there for eight consecutive weeks, making the song the most successful single of the year in America. _Crazy In Love_ topped the charts in 39 other countries, most of them at the same time. _Crazy In Love_ has sold more than 8 million copies worldwide, becoming one of the best-selling singles of all time worldwide.

 

**Music Video**

The song’s accompanying music video features Federer in various dance sequences, for which Federer earned immense praise. Anthony DeCurtis wrote, “With the music video for _Crazy In Love_ , Federer proves that he isn’t just an immense vocal talent, but also an outstanding dancer and performer. The routines are insane, and I can’t wait to see more of him.”

The music video won three awards at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards and its director, Jake Nava, won the Music Video Production Association award for Best R&B Video.

 

 

 **Me, Myself and I** (Roger Federer album)

 _Me, Myself and I_ is the debut studio album by Swiss tennis star Roger Federer, released worldwide through Columbia Records on June 4, 2010. The album was originally planned for release in late 2010, but was brought forward to June. It was released simultaneously as a standard and deluxe edition, with the standard edition consisting of 13, the deluxe edition of 17 songs.

The album debuted at number one on the US Billboard 200 chart, selling 1,008,000 copies in its first week solely in America, making it the second highest debut-week sales of the year behind Taylor Swift’s _Speak Now_ , which shipped 1,047,000 copies in its first week. _Me, Myself and I_ has since been certified triple platinum by the RIAA. Also, the album was successful in international music markets and has so far yielded six singles singles, all of which went on to reach #1 at the Billboard Hot 100, which is a record for any debut album.

 

**Background**

Federer’s debut single _Irreplaceable_ was a worldwide hit, reaching the number one spot in over 20 countries, holding the top spot of the Billboard Hot 100 for 5 consecutive weeks. Certified multi-platinum in the States alone, the song was considered to be an enormous success. However, music critics stated in the following months that Federer’s debut album would be one of the most critical releases of the year, since he would have to prove the success of his debut single to not be only a ‘matter of luck’.

So, when the earlier than expected release of the album was announced only a month before the release date, the media attention Federer received was surprising even to experts of the music business. At the announcement of the final album release date, the album title as well as the track listing and the album art cover were made public as well. _Crazy In Love_ , the second single off the album, was a worldwide success as well, raising the hype for the release of the album again.

Especially the title of the album was considered a surprise. Federer stated, “I called my first album _Me, Myself and I_ because I think it was the best way to introduce myself as a musical artist. As a matter of fact I have very different sides to me that vary enormously, and this album is meant to represent that. My life is now divided in, like, three parts: the tennis, the music, both the parts in which I’m fierce and strong and always fighting, and of course my private life which is the exact opposite. My music is meant to represent that. There will be fierce aggressive songs that are strong, intense and full of energy. That’s the way I am as a tennis player and now as a singer. And then there are the songs that show my softer side, ballads about love and happiness. Every song on the album is very personal. You could say I’m introducing myself again, this time through my music.” 

The immediate worldwide release of the album was considered a risk by several experts of the music business. Later, though, most of the same experts who had said so, claimed that it had been a very smart move of Jay-Z’s Roc Nation Management, with the immense public attention Federer was enjoying at that time.

 

**Recording and Production**

Federer stated that “recording the album hasn’t at all been that easy”, naming his constant travelling because of his tennis career and the fact that he’d get the best ideas all alone in his hotel room, as the main reasons. As a result of that, Federer concentrated on songs that were really special to him when he actually was in the studio, and though he admitted that he had had a lot more songs on his mind, he wanted to put records on the album “that mean something to him”.

The recording of the album songs took place all over the world, though Federer spent especially much time in recording studios in Los Angeles, New York and London.

 

**Influences**

Federer named acts such as Michael Jackson, Prince and Beyoncé as some of his main influences. Beyoncé worked with Federer on several songs and appears in _Crazy In Love_ , and so did Prince on _The Beautiful Ones_. Federer said, “To be able to work with all these talents has been amazing, and I can’t thank Jay-Z enough for believing in me and giving me all these amazing opportunities. Also, working with Beyoncé has been amazing, she’s such an awesome artist; she and Michael Jackson are some of the greatest performers of all time. But especially working with Prince has been an honor. I love the song we did so much, and I can’t wait for everyone to hear it.”

Other songwriters and producers Federer worked with includes Prince, Stargate, Scott Storch, Rick Harrison, The-Dream, Rico Love, Toby Gad and many others.

 

**Track Listing**

Standard Edition

 

  1. _The Beautiful Ones_ [writer(s): Roger Federer, Prince Rogers Nelson; producer(s): Prince, Federer]
  2. _Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)_ [Federer, Kuk Harrell, Christopher Sweart, The-Dream; Stewart, The-Dream]
  3. _Crazy In Love_ (feat. Beyoncé) [Federer, Knowles, Rick Harrison; Harrison, Knowles]
  4. _Irreplaceable_ [Federer; Stargate, Federer]
  5. _Hello_ [Federer, Ramon REO Owen, E. Kidd Bogart; Federer, Owen, Bogart]
  6. _Scared of Lonely_ [Federer, Robert Waller, Scott Storch, Shawn Carter; Storch]
  7. _Sweet Dreams_ [Federer, Jim Jonsin, Wayne Wilkins, Rico Love; Jonsin, Love, Federer]
  8. _Radio_ [Federer, James Scheffer, Love; Jim Jonsin, Federer]
  9. _Me, Myself and I_ [Federer, Knowles, Storch, Robert Waller; Knowles, Storch]



10\. _If You Were A Boy_ [Federer; Toby Gad, Federer]

11\. _Save The Hero_ [Federer; Love, Federer]

12\. _Flaws and All_ [Federer; Shea Taylor, Federer]

13\. _Smash Into You_ [Federer; Angelo Petraglia, Jacquire King]

 

Deluxe Edition

 

14\. _Run_ [Gary Lightbody, Jonathan Quinn, Iain Archer; Steve Robson, Federer]

15\. _Resentment_ [Federer, Knowles; Walter Millsap III, Beyoncé, Federer]

16\. _Broken-Hearted Man_ [Federer; Stargate, Federer]

 

 

**Composition**

**Themes**

Roger Federer stated in an interview that “all of the themes and musical styles of the album were inspired by my own personality, my life and my experiences”. He further added, “I’m aware that people only know the side of me that I’ve shown to the world so far. I’m not a fierce person in my personal life. I am passionate about tennis, though, I just don’t show it on court. But in music, I can do just that. I can be strong, fierce, intense and passionate. I’ve got this side to me that only my family and closest friends know of, and this struggle between the personality people know and the one people don’t know is what’s inspired the album.”

Aside stating that the lyrical content of the album was designed around his own character, Federer admitted that “most of the songs are about people in my life”, giving the album an “even more personal aspect”.

 

**Writing and Production**

The album is influenced by various musical styles. Federer said, “Half the songs are dominated by contemporary R&B and hip hop influences, while the other half consists of adult contemporary ballads with acoustic guitars, pianos, strings. There are electro influences, as well as stripped-down songs. It’s up-tempo. It’s down-tempo. It’s all. It’s a variety of songs that I felt reflect my personality the best.” Federer has at least co-written every song on the album (aside his cover of Snow Patrol’s _Run_ ), having sole songwriting credits on six of the 17 songs on the deluxe edition. Also, Federer co-produced most of the songs. 

 

**Lyrics**

Because of their lyrical content, most of the songs on the album have sparked controversy. By the end of _The Beautiful Ones_ , Federer is screaming out, “Do you want her, or do you want me? ‘Cause I want you”, urging his man to choose between him and a woman. In _Single Guys_ , Federer tells off a man in a club after having waited too long to propose. The explicit use of pronouns has that suggest Federer having had relationships with both men and women have led to a public debate of his sexuality, causing Federer to release an official statement in which he stated that he’s “not currently in a serious relationship”, but that he has “been together with women and men in the past”. About his album, he added that the songs reflect on his past and that the clear use of pronouns is intentional. In an interview with Digital Spy, he said, “If the song is about a man in my past, I write it that way. I’m not going to cover anything up, and whoever has a problem with any of it – f—k you.”

 

**Musical Style**

The album opens with _The Beautiful Ones_ , a haunting musical tale of emotional longing and unrequited love. The song starts as a slow falsetto ballad, a piano and organ-sounding synthesizers providing a lush backdrop, and gradually builds in volume and intensity. Federer’s vocals on the song were considered one of the highlights on the album. _Single Guys (Put A Ring On it)_ , the second song on the album and the third single, is an upbeat dance-pop and R&B song that displays dancehall and bounce influences. It makes use of a bounce-based hand clap beat. The song emphasizes Federer’s “fiercer, more aggressive and sensual” side.

 _Crazy In Love_ , the second single, features Beyoncé Knowles and her husband Jay-Z. A R&B love song with ‘70s-style funk, soul and dance-pop influences, the song references to the state of being romantically obsessed. _Irreplaceable_ is a mid-tempo pop ballad with R &B influences. Federer’s vocal range in the song spans nearly two and a half octaves and is considered “a beautiful and contemporary R&B ballad”. The song uses a gently strummed acoustic guitar. _Hello_ contains the Jerry Maguire line “You had me at hello” as a part of its chorus. It consists of “sweet guitar picking and delicate harmonies”, according to Spence D. of IGN Music. _Scared of Lonely_ , the sixth song on the album, is a mid-tempo ballad with a very acoustic feeling to it.

The next song on the album, _Sweet Dreams_ , is an electro-pop song, but also draws from the genre of R&B and incorporates influences from the classic 1980’s funk music. It’s composed in an “aggressive and exciting” electronic pop arrangement. According to Priya Elan of _The Times_ , the “disturbed and haunting” lyrics to the song describe a beautiful relationship, which the male protagonist believes could be a dream. In other words, the song lyrically conveys a dilemma where the protagonist is torn between whether his love is a “sweet dream of a beautiful nightmare”. Jon Caramanica commented that the song forgoes Federer’s emotional precision for a sort of ecstatic paranoia.  Critics especially praised Federer’s vocal performance on the song. _Radio_ consists of a bouncy beat with a sneering attitude. In addition, its drum and bass and its techno or house feel create a refreshing sound, which, according to James Reed of The Boston Globe, make the song “perfect for a night at the club.”

With its title track _Me, Myself and I_ , the album changes both musically and lyrically in the way that there are no more up-tempo tracks to be found, but slow down-tempo songs and ballads. _Me, Myself and I_ is an R &B song delivered in slow manner and speaks of holding one’s head up high after a traumatic break-up. In an interview with MTV News, Federer said of the song: “It’s the title track, but doesn’t really have anything to do with the theme of the album. In itself, the song is about a break-up of mine that really got to me,  that really broke me down. It’s about being strong, about being myself, because in the end that was all I had left. As for the title of the album, the words _Me, Myself and I_ represent the three different sides to me I wanted to show with this album.” When asked which song was his favorite, Federer named _If You Were A Boy_ as “one that’s definitely up there”. A strong pop ballad, _If You Were A Boy_ stands as one of the six songs that are written entirely by Federer.

 _Save The Hero_ is considered “easily the best ballad” on the album by several critics with “peculiar lyrics”. As a down-tempo ballad, the song “showcases Federer’s lovely, soulful voice and outstanding vocal range”. In _Flaws and All_ , Federer shows appreciation for the love given to him by someone who sees through his many flaws, loving him nonetheless. The song received positive reviews especially for Federer’s emotion and vulnerability on the track. The last song on the standard edition, _Smash Into You_ , is a “very special” song to Federer, as he said about it: “This one is very special to me. The person the song is about is very special to me. I wrote this song within an hour, and recording it didn’t take much longer. This song came straight from my heart, and that’s why it’ll always be special to me.”

The deluxe edition of _Me, Myself and I_ opens with _Run_ , Federer’s cover of the Snow Patrol song off their album _Final Straw_. Gary Lightbody, front man of Snow Patrol and one of the song’s writer, described Federer’s cover as “phenomenal”. He added, “He obviously studied the song and thought long and hard about how to interpret it, and I appreciate that. He stripped the song to its bare core and I think he sounds absolutely amazing”. _Resentment_ , a song written solely by Federer and Beyoncé, is a ballad that showcases Federer’s vulnerable side as he sings about a boyfriend that cheats and lies to him, yet he shows that he doesn’t want to leave him for another man. The song was well-received by music critics who praised Federer’s powerful vocal performance and vulnerability.

 _Broken-Hearted Man_ , the last song on the deluxe edition, is an R&B pop-song beginning as a piano-and-vocal ballad and then transcending into a minimalist beat. The production and melody is backed by strings and a drum machine beat. Mariel Concepcion of Billboard wrote that Federer “belty emotively” on the song’s hook, “I don’t want a broken heart/ And I don’t want to play the broken-hearted man”.

 

**Reception**

Upon its release, _Me, Myself and I_ received praise from most music critics. At Metacritic, the album received 87 of 100 points, based on 43 review. Slant Magazine’s Sal Cinquemani commented that “the strength of _Me, Myself and I_ lies in both the individual tracks as well as the whole body that is the album […] a testament to Roger Federer as one of the best single artists of modern times”.

Aside praise for the vocal performances on the songs, their songwriting and production, the album raised controversy with its lyrics that see Federer openly dealing with past relationships he’d had with both men and women. Due to the fact that there hadn’t been any hint of Roger Federer being gay or bisexual before releasing his album, a lot of reports criticized Federer for abusing the gay theme as a marketing trick to get his album selling. Federer refused to answer questions about the topic at every interview, though he released a statement via his management, saying: “I’m not currently in a serious relationship, with a woman or a man. I have been together with women and men in the past, though, and I reject every accusation of me deliberately writing controversial songs to sell my album. The songs reflect on my life and I love every single one of them. Every speculation going on in the media right now is an insult. I’m sad to realize the hate that some people still show towards the gay community. I’ve always been a fervent defender of gay rights and I find the things I’ve read insulting to every gay man and woman out there. My private life is no one’s business, and if you don’t like what my music is about, don’t listen to it. I guess a lot of the people out there still didn’t get the ‘no sexual discrimination’ memo.”

 

**Commercial Performance**

_Me, Myself and I_ debuted at number one on the US Billboard 200, selling 1,008,000 copies in its first week solely in America, making it the second highest debut-week sales of the year behind Taylor Swift’s Speak Now, which shipped 1,047,000 copies in its first week. It gave Federer his second number one album on the Billboard 200 chart, after his first EP _Run: The EP_ reached number one in March 2010. Having sold 3,879,500 copies within 6 weeks of release, _Me, Myself and I_ emerged as the best selling album in the US of 2010 according to Billboard magazine.

Worldwide the album was just as successful and reached number one in numerous other countries, including Canada, Australia, France, Germany, Ireland, Japan, New Zealand, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and the UK, as well as the European Top 100 Albums chart. It reached the top five in every country it was released in, which is a record for a debut album.

In total, the album sold over 35 million copies worldwide, with its digital tracks alone having sold more than 20 million units, leading to the album being certified Platinum numerous times.

 

**Singles**

_Me, Myself and I_ spawned six singles in total: _Irreplaceable_ , _Crazy In Love_ , _Single Guys_ _(Put A Ring On It)_ , _If You Were A Boy_ , _Sweet Dreams_ and the album’s title track _Me,_ _Myself and I_. Each of the singles went on to become number one on the Billboard 100 chart, a record for a debut album. Federer also achieved that feat in Switzerland, Germany and the UK.

 

**Accolades**

**Grammy Awards 2011**

_Me, Myself and I_ and its singles earned Federer eight nominations, of which he won all but one.

 _Me, Myself and I_ won the Grammy for Album of the Year as well as Best Contemporary R &B Album. _Crazy In Love (feat. Beyoncé & Jay-Z)_ received the Grammy for Best Rap/Sung Collaboration and Record of the Year. It lost out to Federer’s song _Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)_ in the Best R &B Song category. Federer also received a Grammy nomination for Best Male R&B Vocal Performance with _Single Guys_ , but lost out to Usher. _If You Were A Boy_ , the fourth single to be released from _Me, Myself and I_ , was awarded Song of The Year, with Federer as the sole writer and composer. Federer himself was also awarded Best New Artist. 

 

**Further nominations and awards**

Federer won the Favorite Male R&B Artist award at the 2010 American Music Awards, while _Me, Myself and I_ won the award for Favorite Album for Soul/R &B. At the 2010 MTV Europe Music Awards, Federer was awarded as Best Male Artist and _Singls Guys_ won Best Video with _Crazy In Love_ the winner in the Best Song category.

 _Me, Myself and I_ was nominated for the Outstanding Album award at the 2011 NAACP Image Award and ultimately won the awards. Both _Crazy In Love_ and _If You Were A Boy_ were nominated in the Outstanding Song category, with _If You Were A Boy_ winning the award.

 

 

 **Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)** [Roger Federer song]

 _Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)_ is the third single released from Roger Federer’s debut album _Me, Myself and I_.

The song’s accompanying music video, directed by Jake Nava, was shot entirely in black-and-white. It was played in the background during Federer’s first performance of the song, and the J-Setting dance choreography used in the video was the same as of Federer’s live performance. The video was released to YouTube the same night and is considered a phenomenon by several music experts. It prompted many imitations and parodies from men and women all around the world, including US President Barack Obama and pop singers Justin Timberlake and Joe Jonas. According to the Toronto Star, the music video started the “first major dance craze” of the internet age.

 

**Composition**

_Single Guys_ is an upbeat dance-pop and R &B song, displaying dancehall and bounce influences; it makes use of a bounce-based hand clap beat. Federer’s vocals range from the note of of F♯3 to D5.

In _Single Guys_ , Federer emphasizes an aggressive and sensual side of his. The lyrics reflect post-breakup situations and see the protagonist tell his ex-lover off after not having proposed to him. Ann Powers of the _Los Angeles Times_ saw the song’s theme of empowerment as an extension of that of _Irreplaceable_ , Federer’s debut single. According to a Daily Mail reporter, Federer “urges both men and women to dump their lovers if they don’t propose”, managing to empower everyone in their independence. 

“The song’s message is what makes this song the hit it is. It breaks the usual cycle – not the man is the one to take his girl, but the other way around. _‘If you like it then you should have put a ring on it’_ , goes the singsong hook, and eventually, the lyrics reveal that is what the singer really wants: for his girl or guy to make him her/his king and grab him. Gone are the old-fashioned days, everyone. Roger Federer tells you to grab your guy. Don’t wait for him to make a move if you want him; it might be too late. Sweep him off his feet.”

- _Los Angeles Times_ ’ Ann Powers on the theme of _Single Guys_

 

**Critical Reception**

_Single Guys_ garnered positive reviews from music critics, mostly for its production and lyrical theme. Michelangelo Matos of the _A.V. Club_ wrote that the song is “fabulous, with glowing production, a humongous hook, and beats for weeks”. Writers praised the song’s danceability, and mentioned Federer’s first performance of the song as especially note-worthy which took place at the Grammy Awards 2010, where he also performed his most recent single _If You Were A Boy_. Colin McGuire of _PopMatters_ praised _Single Guys_ as one of the best songs of the year and added: “I guess I’m not alone when I say that Federer’s performance blew me away – who knew the guy could dance like that?!”

 

Rolling Stone also named _Single Guys_ the best song of 2010 and wrote, “The beat, courtesy of The-Dream and Tricky Stewart, is irresistible and exuberant, the vocal hook is stormy and virtuosic”. _Time_ ’s critic Josh Tyrangiel called the song “ludicrously infectious”. Sarah Rodman, writing for _The Boston Globe_ , named _Single Guys_ the fourth most irresistible song of the last decade and stated, “ _[Federer] combined tracksuits with crass engagement-bling baiting into one delicious sexy-yet-antiquated package. The video had the whole world dancing and waving along via YouTube_.”

 

**Music Video**

**Concept**

The music video, which incorporates J-Setting choreography, was inspired by the Bob Fosse-choreographed performance by Gwen Verdonin "Mexican Breakfast".

In the video, Federer is surrounded by only two accompanying female dancers. He wears a roboglove made of titanium. It was designed by Lorraine Schwartz, and is word to complete the impression of the fiercer side of Federer’s character. The shooting of the video was done without different camera shots and cuts, without alterations to hairstyles, costumes, sets or lightning. Federer said he “only focused on the performance”. He added that he “wanted the video to feel good and powerful” and include choreography that could be attempted by anybody.

 

**Reception**

The video spawned a dance craze and inspired thousands of imitations from all over the world, which were posted on YouTube. The video itself became one of the most-watched of 2010.

In an interview with MTV, Federer said that he felt “blessed” by the public’s response to the song and the video. He revealed that he had spent much time watching several parodies created by people all around the world. He said, “It’s beautiful to feel you touch people and bring a song to life with a video”.

 

 

 **If You Were A Boy** (Roger Federer song)

 

 _If You Were A Boy_ is the fourth single taken off Federer’s debut album _Me, Myself and I_. It’s a pop ballad and, according to Federer, the “most important song” to him off the album in a personal way. A Spanish version of the song, titled _Si Tu Fueras Un Chico_ , was included on the Platinum Edition of _My, Myself and I_.

 

**Background**

Federer said about the song that it’s “the most important song” to him in a personal way. He added, “I can still remember sitting with a friend of mine, whose boyfriend had just betrayed her. She said, ‘I can’t understand it. Why is he such an ass, thinking about nothing but himself?’ And I was like, ‘If you were a boy, you’d understand’. I did things in the past I wasn’t proud of, and this song is about that. It’s about doing wrong to someone, taking them for granted when really, they are not.”

 

**Reception**

Several sources claim the song to be the best on the whole album, mostly because of the “raw emotion in Federer’s voice when he belts out, “Cause I know how it hurts when you lose the one you wanted, ‘cause you’ve taking her for granted”; it’s just a bit too believing to not be true, is it?” Also, Federer was praised for his songwriting, with Federer stating that he wanted to try “something strong” with “honest lyrics”, because “people have strong expectations”. He further explained that the choice to put the song on the album was ultimately made by the person he wrote the song to, explaining, “I wouldn’t have made the song public if she’d said no. It was a personal talk, but I’m not going to give away any details, and she probably knows that. She just said that she found the song so amazing, she wanted everyone to hear it.”

According to Leah Greenblatt of Entertainment Weekly, _If You Were A Boy_ soars with melodic swells and unwavering sentiments shown in its lyrics. The song is mainly about a male protagonist narrating on how much better a girl could understand men and their actions if she was a boy, while simultaneously highlighting his own vulnerability in admitting that he himself had done the same wrong that she was experiencing now. Greenblatt said to that, “In some way, _If You Were A Boy_ is a masterpiece of songwriting. It probably tells you more about Federer than any of the other songs ever will. It’s all that he is: it’s controlled, it’s emotional, _and_ it’s passionate. It represents him better than any other song on the album does.”

 

**Music Video**

The music video for _If You Were A Boy_ was directed by Jake Nava and was shot in black-and-white together with the video for _Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)_. In an interview with Billboard magazine, Federer revealed that the concept of the video is similar to the American comedy film Freaky Friday (1976); its theme is role reversal. He also said that it would depict common things that men do to hurt their significant others, like not answering their phones, before adding that the video is about all the little things that mean a lot in relationships. Federer explained, “In the beginning of the video, my girlfriend makes me breakfast and she’s excited about it, but I kind of don’t have time to eat. As a police officer, I have a female partner and the video goes through our days. She is at work, too, and has attractive male co-workers that flirt with her, but she ignores their advances. I have a woman flirting with me, and I flirt back. Then, at the end of the video, though, our roles are reversed: she’s the successful sexy police officer, and then I’m the one at home, waiting for her to come home.”

MTV News writer Jennifer Vineyard analysis of the concept of the video concluded, “When we first see Federer, his behavior seems all too familiar. And when it’s the woman doing everything he just did, it becomes abnormal – which is Federer’s point”.

 

**Synopsis**

The video begins with Federer and his girlfriend saying words that describe what an ideal relationship should be about, including “intimacy”, “honesty”, “commitment”, and then they say, “you”, “me”, and “us”. When the action starts, Federer is seen working as a police officer. His girlfriend is very supportive. She makes him breakfast, spends time at work looking for the perfect gift to brighten his day and forgoes hanging out with her coworkers so she can spend the evening with Federer when he gets home from work. However, Federer is not thinking about her at all as he spends his off-hours with his fellow officers, particularly his female partner, who he seems enamored with. Federer’s girlfriend tries calling, but he ignores her. And later, when his girlfriend gives him a gift, he goes on to dance with his partner and with not her. His girlfriend gets upset when she sees them and when she confronts him at their home, he acts like she is making a big deal out of nothing. “When you act like that, I don’t think you realize how it makes me look, or feel”, she tells him. Federer then asks her in a condescending tone, “Why are you so jealous? It’s not like I’m sleeping with the girl.” Then the story reverses and then Federer’s girlfriend is the police officer and he is the one who is taken for granted, putting him in the situation she has been in. 

 

**Critical Reception**

The music video earned widely positive reviews. Jennifer Cady of E! Online praised its “serious melodramatic storyline”, further adding that it was “slow and everyone overacts, but make sure to catch the end with its major twist that will probably change your outlook on the dynamics of male-female relationships forever”. It was certified gold by the Canadian Recording Industry Association for shipping over 5,000 units.

 

 

**Me, Myself and I (Platinum Edition)**

The _Me, Myself and I (Platinum Edition)_ album is the extended version of Roger Federer’s debut album, _Me, Myself and I_ and was released November 2010, five months after its original version. The album features all songs from the standard and deluxe version, as well as Spanish versions of the songs _Irreplaceable_ and _If You Were A Boy_. Also, the music videos accompanying all of the album’s singles were added to the package.

To fan’s and media’s surprise, when Federer gave his first ever performance in Spain following a tennis exhibition match, he delivered a Spanish version of his debut single _Irreplaceable_ , called _Irremplazable_ , followed by the Spanish version of his then most recent single If You Were A Boy (Si Tu Fueras Un Chico), although he was believed to be unable to speak the language despite his linguistic talent. The performance was praised by many critics, who especially complimented his flawless pronunciation.

 

**Track listing**

Disc 1

 

  1. The Beautiful Ones
  2. Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)
  3. Crazy In Love (feat. Beyoncé & Jay-Z)
  4. Irreplaceable
  5. Hello
  6. Scared Of Lonely
  7. Sweet Dreams
  8. Video Phone
  9. Me, Myself and I



10\. If You Were A Boy

11\. Save The Hero

12\. Flaws and All

13\. Smash Into You

 

Disc 2

 

  1. Run
  2. Resentment
  3. Broken-Hearted Man
  4. Irremplazable
  5. Si Tu Fueras Un Chico



 

Music Videos:

  1. Irreplaceable
  2. Crazy In Love (feat. Beyoncé)
  3. Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)
  4. If You Were A Boy
  5. Sweet Dreams
  6. Me, Myself and I



 

**Roger Federer**

**Music and Voice**

Federer’s music so far has generally been contemporary R&B, but he also incorporates pop, hip hop and soul into his songs. So far he has exclusively released English songs, despite the fact that he is also fluent in French, German and Swiss-German.

The singer possesses a vocal range that spans more than three octaves, as far as has been revealed so far. Jon Pareles of _The New York Times_ stated that his voice is “velvety yet tart, with an insistent flutter and reserves of soul belting”. Other critics praise Federer’s power and emotion in his voice, as well as his vocal flexibility that allows him to hit pin-point accurate melisma without issue. His chest voice is clear, smooth and elastic. He has “amazing control overall and a stunning vibrato”, with Chris Richards of _The Washington Post_ adding: “It’s all in his voice – a superhuman instrument capable of punctuating any beat with goose-bump inducing whispers or full-bore roars”.

Some critics, however, do criticize him for over-singing. Jody Rosen of _Entertainment Weekly_ wrote: “Federer can definitely sing and his voice is simply amazing, no argument there, but sometimes the effect in sum is like being hit in the head with a fist in a velvet glove”.

 

**Personal Life**

The release of _Me, Myself and I_ that includes songs about Federer’s past relationships with men have led to controversy over Federer’s sexual orientation. Though Federer didn’t react on the topic aside an official statement through his management, rumors about his private life have caused an immense stir all around the world. Besides alleged relationships with several fellow tennis players, actors and musicians that have never been confirmed, Federer has also been in the center of media’s attention after losing his ATP no. 1 ranking after the French Open 2010, with several sources claiming that the Swiss tennis star’s career was declining.

 

 

**Survivor (Roger Federer album)**

_Survivor_ is the second studio album by Roger Federer and was released on 1 October 2011. The album’s musical style ranges from ‘70s-‘80s funk influences and balladry to urban contemporary elements such as hip hop and R &B. Federer stated that he’d planned on taking longer to create his follow-up album to _Me, Myself and I_ , but after the criticism of his tennis career as well as his sexuality, Federer claimed that he “wanted to write [himself] out of all the negativity”, and so he composed his new album within two weeks.

The album debuted, like its predecessor, at number one on the US Billboard 200 chart, selling 648,000 copies in its first week and giving Federer his second consecutive number one album on the chart. Internationally the album peaked at number one in numerous other countries, though it didn’t sell the same amount of copies as Federer’s first album.

 

**Background**

Federer’s first album _Me, Myself and I_ consisted of songs in which Federer openly dealt with past relationships he’d had with men, for which he ended in the center of attention because of his sexuality. After also losing his number one ranking in tennis, the criticism reached its height when several sports experts claimed that Federer’s career was over.

When Federer debuted the album’s lead single at the first day of the 2011 U.S. Open, he said in the introduction: “With a lot of success comes a lot of negativity”, after which a collection of newspaper headlines appeared on the screens, “First I felt hurt at everything that’s been said, but then I realized they were just trying to be nasty. It actually inspired me to go back in the lab, pull out a paper and pen, and write myself out of all that negativity”. He then performed _Survivor_ for the first time, a song that’s “very important” to Federer because he considers himself “a survivor. I know what I’m capable of, and I don’t care what’s being written about me. I’m living my dreams and after I reminded myself of why I love the tennis so much, I realized that I’m a survivor. I’ve had hard times before, but I’ve always been able to bounce back”. Survivor is considered a statement song: “I’m far from done, and I’m not ever gonna change the way I am, just because some critics say so”.

 

**Recording and Production**

Federer stated that he went into the studio and recorded his second studio album in two weeks. He said, “I had so much to say, and once I started recording, all these up-tempo dance tracks just popped up. I wanted songs I could dance to, carefree songs that showcase my more sensual and fun sides”.

All of the recording process took place in New York City, Federer’s “favorite place in the world to record music”. He’s enlisted the help of several high-profile producers. Just like he did on his first album, Federer at least co-wrote every song on the album, though he has sole songwriting credits on only one track ( _If_ ). The deluxe edition consists of three songs from the _Me, Myself and I_ era that didn’t make the final cut of the first album. So far, the songs are the only songs Federer has neither helped write or produce, which is why he didn’t want them on the first album, even though he “thought they were all so brilliant”. He put them on _Survivor’s_ deluxe edition because he wanted to publish them and thought that this was the best way to do it.

 

**Track Listing**

**Standard Edition**

 

  1. _Survivor_ [writer(s): Roger Federer; producer(s): Federer, Anthony Dent]
  2. _Naughty Boy_ [Federer, Beyoncé Knowles, Scott Storch, Robert Waller; Federer, Knowles, Storch]
  3. _Get Me Bodied_ [Federer, Beyoncé Knowles, Sean Garrett, Swizz Beatz; Swizz Beatz, Knowles, Federer]
  4. _Bootylicious_ [Federer, Knowles; Federer, Knowles, Rob Fusari, Falonte Moore]
  5. _Video Phone_ [Federer, Shondrae Crawford, Garrett; Bangladesh, The Pen, Federer]
  6. _Independent Me_ [Federer; Federer, Knowles]
  7. _Ego_ [Federer, Knowles, Harold Lilly; Federer, Knowles, Lilly]
  8. _Upgrade U (feat. Jay-Z)_ [Federer, Shawn Carter, Sean Garrett; Swizz Beatz, Federer, Carter, Garrett]
  9. _Déjà Vu_ (feat. Jay-Z) [Federer, Carter, Rodney Jerkins; Carter, Jerkins]



10\. _Check On It_ (feat. Slim Thug) [Federer, Knowles, Garrett, Kasseem Dean]

11\. _Jumpin’ Jumpin’_ [Rufus Moore, Knowles, Federer; Moore, Knowles]

12\. _If_ [Federer; Federer, Knowles]

 

**Deluxe Edition**

 

13\. _Satellites_ [Amanda Ghost, Dave McCracken, Ian Dench, Knowles; Ghost, McCracken, Dench, Knowles]

14\. _Disappear_ [Ghost, McCracken, Dench, Knowles; Ghost, McCracken, Dench, Knowles]

15\. _Why Don’t You Love Me_ [Knowles, Eddie Smith III, Jesse Rankins; Bama Boyz, Knowles]

16\. _Still In Love (Kissing You) [Live_ ] [Des’ree, Timothy Atack, Federer; Nellee Hooper, Federer]

17\. _Video Phone_ (Extended Remix feat. Lady Gaga) [Federer, Shondrae Crawford, Garrett; Bangladesh, The Pen, Federer, Lady Gaga (remix only)]

18\. _Ego_ (Remix feat. Kanye West) [Federer, Knowles, Harold Lilly; Federer, Knowles, Lilly, Kanye West (remix only)]

19\. _Move Your Body_ (Get Me Bodied Remake) [Federer, Beyoncé Knowles, Sean Garrett, Swizz Beatz; Swizz Beatz, Knowles, Federer]

 

**Composition and musical style**

The first track on the album is its title track. _Survivor_ is an R &B song that, like most others on the album, incorporates dance and hip-hop influences. Federer was criticized after his first album for his open dealing with past gay relationships, as well as losing the number one ranking in tennis in 2010. He wrote the song to write himself “out of all that negativity”. _Survivor_ is by many considered a statement song to all of Federer’s critics, as well as _Naughty Boy_. The second song on the album opens with “I love to love you, baby/I’m feeling sexy/I wanna hear you say my name”. Its provocative lyrics, making references to celebration of sexual lust and conquest as well as a desire for a one-night-stand with another man, were both praised and criticized. Some viewed it as a “cheap way of garnering attention”, but most music critics praised Federer’s courage “to come out of the closet a second time, this time much sexier and more self-confident”. An R &B disco song, _Naughty Boy_ includes interpolations from _Love To Love You Baby_ by Donna Summer and is influenced Arabian, dancehall and reggae music.

The third song on the album, _Get Me Bodied_ , is a moderate R&B dance-pop and bounce song set in common time. Jim DeRogatis of _Chicago Sun-Times_ wrote that the song consists of a mixture of “double dutch rhyming and reggae-rap” while others noted its dancehall influences. According to Bill Lamb of About.com, the song “crackle[s] with the spirit and power of a man who carries his sexuality and spirit with authority”. The song begins with Federer telling his birth date “8-8-81”. Its lyrics consist of “eight missions before going to a party”, with Federer singing: “Can you get me bodied?/ I wanna be myself tonight”. _Bootylicious_ is a song about “celebrating a woman’s curves”. Federer explained, “I stumbled across this guitar riff by Stevie Nicks, and something about it reminded me of a bootylicious woman, just like Beyoncé. I talked to her about it and we sat down and wrote this song”. _Bootylicious_ is an R &B song set in common time with a medium hip-hop tempo that sees Federer declaring: “I don’t I’m ready for this jelly/ Your body too bootylicious for me/ Baby, can I handle this?/ I don’t think I can handle this”. Beyoncé said about the song that it’s one of her favorites as she loves “the way it celebrates a woman’s body, just the way every woman deserves it”. Musically, _Video Phone_ consists of simple lyrics and hidden innuendos. The lyrics refer to putting up a show on camera, causing Chris Willman from _Yahoo!_ to say that the lyrics are a reference to “celebration of Skype sex and putting on a solo show, on camera, for someone you just met at the club”. The song was considered perfectly fitting for the album, since it brings out “Federer’s sexy self-confident side, and that’s never bad”. The album’s sixth song is called _Independent Me_. It’s an R &B song about “encouraging people to be themselves, to be independent and never rely on others”, according to Federer.

 _Ego_ is a pop song, set in a rhythm and blues tempo, though it leans towards R &B. The song also incorporates influences from bump jazz and soul. According to Federer, _Ego_ has a “fun vibe” and is built on a punchy beat with a backing piano as well as horns. Lyrically, the song features Federer singing about his “huge ego”, declaring “It’s too big, it’s too much/ I walk like this ‘cause I can back it up/ I got such a big ego/ You must admit, I got every reason/ To feel like I’m that ass”. The song was approved by many, with both Federer’s vocals and the song’s lyrics pointed out as “goddamn fabulous” (Nick Levine of Digital Spy). Neil McCormick of The Daily Telegraph picked the song as the standout-track of the album, declaring “ _Ego_ is so good because of Federer’s playful boldness, finally letting out the braggy side of his, and God has he got every right to do so”.

The next song _Upgrade U_ is the first of two features of Jay-Z and one of the three features overall. It’s a hip hop song incorporating pop and R &B that starts with Jay-Z and Federer in a dialogue: “How you gon’ upgrade me? What’s higher than number one?” The song sees Federer and Jay-Z declaring to their respective love interests that their dynasty’s will ever remain incomplete without “a chief like [her]”.  _Déjà Vu_ is the second song featuring Jay-Z. It’s a contemporary R &B song performed in a moderate hip-hop groove and is also influenced by funk music. The lyrics detail a man constantly reminded of a past lover, shown in the lines “Is it because I’m missing you that I’m having déjà vu?” As the song opens, Federer introduces the bass, hi-hat and Roland TR-808 by name. Neil McCormick remarked, “ _Déjà Vu_ actually is about a woman for a change, which I find more surprising than the other songs”. _Check On It_ features Slim Thug. It’s a mid-tempo R &B and hip hop song with a heavy bassline and strings. According to Bill Lamb of About.com, Federer adopts smooth and alluring vocals throughout _Check On It_ , which is basically about a night in a dance club, where the male protagonist is letting the female patrons know that they are welcome to look when he’s dancing. Its topic of “sexual teasing” has caused several critics to name Check On It the “sexiest song on the album”.

 _Jumpin’ Jumpin’_ is an R &B dance song about a night out at a club. It’s been named the most “carefree song on the album”, just an “anthem for everyone who loves a long night at a club with lots of dancing”. The last song on the standard edition is _If_ , written entirely by Federer and produced by him and Beyoncé. It’s the only ballad on standard edition of the album and sees Federer tell his lover how he’s feeling neglected by him, while another man pays him the attention he needs and Federer’s “tempted to pay attention, too”. He sings over strings and a gentle beat, “If you let him take me from you, I guess I finally see/ If you let him take me from you, you never wanted me”. Chris Willman said, “ _If_ stands out, and not just because it’s the only ballad on the album. It’s a ballad, yes, but it still fits the up-tempo album because of its strength. Federer’s songwriting is brilliant and the honesty of the song really haunts you”. 

 

The deluxe edition adds three left-over tracks from Federer’s first album _Me, Myself and I_ , called _Satellites_ , _Disappear_ and _Why Don’t You Love Me_ , as well as a live performance of the Des’ree song _Kissing You_ , called _Still In Love (Kissing You)_ , and the remixes of _Video Phone_ feat. Lady Gaga, _Ego_ feat. Kanye West and _Move Your Body_ , a remix of _Get Me Bodied_ for a US campaign promoting youngsters to become more active.

First is _Satellites_ , a slow ballad based on acoustic guitars that has been compared to _Save The Hero_ of _Me, Myself and I_. _Disappear_ also consists of “sweet guitar-picking and delicate harmonies”, while _Why Don’t You Love Me_ is another up-beat tune. It describes a departure from Federer’s previous dance-pop songs since it makes use of a retro style. It consists of energetic tribal beats, a drum loop, funky guitars and a bassline that was designed to make it a groovy dance song. Lyrically, the song impersonates Federer as a man who questions his love interest about the reason for which he/she does not value her fabulousness, as he sings: “Why don’t you love me… when I make me so damn easy to love?… I got money… I got class… I got style and I got ass…”

The three songs are the only published songs since the start of Federer’s music career that were neither co-written nor co-produced by Federer. He said about them, “They didn’t make the final cut of _Me, Myself and I_ because I wanted my first album to only have songs that I wrote, besides _Run_. But I thought they were all so brilliant that I didn’t want to not publish them. Putting them on the deluxe version of _Survivor_ seemed like the perfect solution”.

The fourth song on the deluxe edition is a live recording of Federer’s version of Des’ree’s song _Kissing You_ , called _Still In Love (Kissing You)_. Federer rearranged the song and added lyrics that include the lines “You're my lover, you're my soldier, you protect me, boy you save me, you're my best friend, you're my husband, you are my doctor, counselor, provider, professor, my everything”. The album includes Federer’s performance of the song at the 2011 MTW Video Music Awards.

The remix of _Video Phone_ features Lady Gaga, while a rap verse by Kanye West was added to _Ego_. The last song on the deluxe edition is a remake of _Get Me Bodied_ produced by Swizz Beatz, called _Move Your Body_. For the song, a kid-friendlier version of _Get Me Bodied_ with different lyrics, Federer joined forces with US First Lady Michelle Obama and the National Association of Broadcasters Education Foundation to promote the national _Let’s Move!_ campaign, which aims to combat child obesity by promoting youngsters to become more active. To promote the campaign, Federer performed the song in the middle of the final of the 2011 U.S. Open as a step-by-step flash dance-style workout with about 70 kids that combines elements of hip hop and Latin music as well as dancehall moves. A video of the performance was released as a music video for _Move Your Body_ , with the revenue being contributed to the campaign.

 

**Reception**

The album received mostly positive reviews because of “Federer’s boldness, his bravery to openly sing about his sexuality and of course his stellar songwriting and vocal performance” (Bill Lamb of About.com). Jody Rosen of Entertainment Weekly named as standout tracks the album’s title track because of its “empowering lyrics”, _Naughty Boy_ “for its boldness”, _Ego_ for Federer’s “awesome vocals” and _If_ “because it’s beautiful, yet strong”. In the summary of her review, Rosen added that “the songs [in the album] arrive in huge juts of rhythm and emotion, with Federer’s voice rippling over clattery beats”. Jonah Weiner of Blender gave the album 4.5 out of five stars and commented that “sweaty up-tempo numbers prove a great platform for Federer, maybe an even better one than deep emotional ballads”.

Billboard’s Gail Matchell wrote that “the album is a beautiful statement overall: a statement of Federer’s strength, of his independence and of his sexuality”. He added, “Federer stretches the boundaries, both lyrically and musically and it’s liberating to see him vouching for his own independence, professionally and sexually”.

However, the album’s production was claimed weak, claiming that the big vocals are missing that people have come to expect from Federer. Instead, “it’s all just an up-beat hip-hop dance mix that’s fine until five songs into the album; then it gets boring”. Federer replied to these criticisms, “I wanted to create a liberating, freeing album to showcase my independence. That’s why I went into the studio. That’s what I had in mind when that album was created. My albums represent me, my life, and at that time I wanted to do up-tempo songs”.

 

**Commercial Performance**

The album became number one in several countries, including the US, Canada, Germany, Switzerland, France and the UK. It reached the top 5 in numerous other countries and is estimated to have sold over 15 million copies worldwide. _Survivor_ couldn’t match the success Federer had with his first album, but it’s still considered a worldwide hit. Federer said, “I don’t care about selling figures. I do music because I want to reach people, because I want to entertain people”.

 

**Singles**

The album spawned three number one singles in the US, extending Federer’s spawn to 9 consecutive number ones on that chart. Following the album’s title song, Federer released _Ego_ as the second single, with its EP including the Kanye West remix. The third single was _Video Phone_. The EP also including the song’s remix, this one featuring Lady Gaga.

 

###


	2. Prologue II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is somewhat of a Prologue II. It's taking place before the actual story starts, and highlights Novak's POV following the revelation of Roger's singing talent.

 

 

When you grew up with the dream of becoming a professional tennis player, there simply were some names in the sport you just couldn’t avoid stumbling across. And sometimes, especially when you’ve been aware that you’re gay since you were fourteen years old or something, you tended to develop a crush.

 

Now, that wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t like you were going to play Pete Sampras or Boris Becker, so there was little harm in it. Then again, Novak Djokovic had always made it a habit of making his life more complicated than it had to be.

 

And God only knew how easy it had been to develop a crush on Roger Federer. His coaches, his trainers, even his parents had brought him up as an example for really _everything_ : fitness, footwork, work ethic, behavior on and off court. _Everything_.

 

Then, when he had met the man for the first time, things had gotten worse. Roger hadn’t even talked to him; he’d just seen him laugh with Andy Roddick as they’d talked about something. The man’s sheer presence combined with the sound of his laughter had been enough to get him fully hard.

 

The first time that had happened had been in 2006 and he hadn’t really thought much of it. With all fairness, Roger was hot and there was little about the man that wasn’t just annoyingly perfect, but a crush was a crush and nothing more. And Novak had been determined to get his career starting.

 

Of course he didn’t even know if Roger was gay, or even bi. He always hung around with his manager Mirka at tournaments and there had been a time Novak had really hated that woman. She’d never done anything to him, but when he saw her close to ‘his’ guy it just became too much.

 

That was exactly the moment he realized that something was wrong. Playing Roger at the 2007 US Open final wasn’t much fun, especially since he had to get through the ceremony with a hard-on. The fact that this other little problem wasn’t resolving, but instead getting worse with every time he had to play Roger, just added up to the feeling that he was facing a serious problem.

 

His first Grand Slam title at the Aussies in 2008 was undoubtedly one of the best moments of his life. Just the dream that same night of Roger savaging him in ways he’d never even thought of before had kind of killed the moment.

 

By the time Roger won the French Open, completing his Career Slam, and after that Wimbledon, breaking Pete’s record of 14 Grand Slam titles for good, Novak knew he had indeed fallen in love with the one and only Roger Federer. All the way. There was just no way he could feel that immense pride and joy at seeing his opponent accomplish these milestones in his career. It just wasn’t possible.

 

Unless the man meant something to him and the moment he thought that, Novak knew it. His damn crush had developed into so much more and for a while he’d _really_ hated it.

 

They saw each other on a nearly daily basis. How the fuck was he supposed to get over it if he met Roger half-nakedly in the shower every second day? God, his dreams at that time were totally insane – insanely hot and depressing, considering he always woke up with an iron-hard cock, just to realize that he was, well, _alone_.

 

And then, at the time when it seemed that things couldn’t possibly get any worse, the Hit For Haiti charity event happened, or rather _Run_ happened.

 

_Good. Lord._

 

First he thought, after Roger had actually asked him directly to participate, that maybe, in some universe, there was some mild chance. Just a tiny little chance. Then he had the pleasure to get to know that Roger was friends with Beyoncé, the damn hottest woman on this damn planet, and the term jealousy was completely redefined.

 

To then realize that said woman knew something about the man you’ve been crazy in love with for years that you had no clue about – it just stung. Really, really stung. It hurt, making it clear to Novak once again just how little he really had to do with Roger.

 

For all of [five minutes](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Il5tlBPSPJY), though, the Serb didn’t think about that. He actually didn’t think about anything as he incredulously witnessed that amazing performance, that pure emotion and perfection and awesomeness that was Roger Federer’s voice. 

 

Was it possible that something so beautiful even existed? Well, apparently. Novak still got goose-bumps when he thought about Roger standing in the middle of Rod Laver Arena, his gaze grazing his for a second as he hit that _gorgeous_ high note that just shouldn’t be possible for any man to hit, or hold that long, or make it sound so beautiful. (Video: 2:45)

 

It turned out Roger was a brilliant singer. Only logically, his first EP, consisting only of gorgeous cover songs, was making a point of introducing his amazing voice to the world. And it proved to be the right decision. After the immense reception of _Run_ , Roger was praised over the moon and his EP proved that it wasn’t a one-time thing.

 

He really had one of the best controlled voices of the time and Novak couldn’t deny that he listened to the CD non-stop for days. Secretly, since he really didn’t want anyone to know about his crush.

 

Especially since it was already difficult to find out something like that about the person you loved. It was hard enough to not praise Roger into the skies with all that he’d achieved in tennis, but having such a beautiful voice? Novak was no idiot, he refused to believe that Roger was a hundred percent perfect, after all everyone had their little quirks.

 

But still, his heart did the funniest things at the sound of Roger’s voice, and then, when he brought out his first self-written and self-composed song _Irreplaceable_ , Novak felt a flutter in his chest like never before. It was a break-up song, after all – did that mean the man was single?

 

Novak didn’t want to think about all the hours he’d spent in bed, musing over Roger’s and his relationship status, or bringing himself off to the image of the other man naked. It was a lot.

 

 _Irreplaceable_ was a good introduction for Roger’s debut full-length album. Novak hadn’t missed the part of the lyrics where it goes, _‘Standing in the front yard, telling me/ […] How I’ll never ever find a man like you/ […] Call that chick, and see if she’s home/ Oops, I bet you thought that I didn’t know’_.

 

The hope those lines awoke in him was almost too much, only balanced by the fact that he rarely got to see Roger anymore. The man was even busier than before, squeezing in studio sessions and other stuff like photo and video shoots in between tennis training and matches.

 

It was crazy how he’d always cursed seeing Roger every day and not being able to act on his feelings, and all of a sudden he missed it.

 

Somehow, despite its lyrics, _Irreplaceable_ hadn’t caused that much of a stir as Roger’s album finally had. Then again, hearing the man growl out lines like ‘ _Do you want her, or do you want me? ‘Cause I want you’_ wasn’t exactly subtle anymore and couldn’t be written off as easily as the lines in _Irreplaceable_.

 

Roger Federer was gay. Or bisexual. Whatever. All that mattered to Novak was the possibilities that popped up in his head, making it impossible for him to think about anything else than that.

  
And then, really, that album was a masterpiece. 7 Grammys at the Award show in February 2011, coming so close to the record of Michael Jackson of most Grammys won in one night. Roger had immediately found his own sound, a mix of R&B, pop and jazz that totally suited him. And good Lord could that man dance.

 

With his footwork that shouldn’t come as a surprise, but it did anyway. Roger’s second single, _Crazy In Love_ , shook up the music business for good. Novak couldn’t believe it when he heard the song for the first time. It was so incredibly good, the beat fresh and young and sexy.

 

What had really blown it, though, was _Single Guys_. Novak had stumbled across the video for that song when he’d visited his brothers who, you wouldn’t believe it, had been ecstatic. Goddamn _everyone_ was dancing to that song – even the President of the United States, for heaven’s sake.

 

Not only did the up-tempo songs get to him, though. The ballads on the album had brought tears to Novak’s eyes, failing to suppress the thought of what it would feel like if Roger had actually sang these songs for _him_. _Smash Into You_ was such an amazing tune and though he couldn’t hear it without choking up, Novak did it over and over again. Roger’s vocals were so raw, so emotional, and sometimes the Serb dreamed about it even.

 

It wasn’t like he could just turn it off. Hell, how did you explain it to your heart that these fucking love songs weren’t even meant for you?

 

The only thing that actually made Novak feel sick to his stomach was the reception of Roger’s coming out. He couldn’t deny that he admired the Swiss for his bravery, just putting the songs on the album that he wanted, with no self-regard about what all of that could mean.

 

And really, it had been a risk. There were gay players on the tour, no doubt, but they lived in secrecy – Novak himself was a perfect example. Roger had done it, though, and proudly at that.

 

Roger had given only one interview about that topic, a very private one at that, and he’d done so with Oprah (God, how _awesome_ was that man that he was friends with _Oprah Winfrey_?!) Amongst other things, the Swiss man had said: “I’m already busy living my life, and it’s gotten so much more insane since that music thing started. I barely have time to be myself, why on earth should I, on top of that, bother to pretend I’m something I’m not?”

 

When Oprah had asked him what it meant to him to come out as a tennis player, Roger had answered: “To me, it doesn’t matter. The fact that it does matter, though, has always bothered me, which is why I was quick to jump on this chance to come out. It was either doing my own music the way I wanted to, the way I felt it, or not at all. And really, as the number one in tennis, I also felt that I had an obligation. I know it’d be so much harder if I was just the number hundred-ten or whatever, and I just hope it’s making it all a bit easier for everyone.”

 

So far, so good, but when Oprah had jokingly asked Roger who he’d ‘like to shag if he could just pick a guy’, he’d almost thrown something at the TV. The jealousy had dwelled up in him when Roger had laughed, asking with a smirk, “Anyone?” Oprah had grinned as well. “Of course.” “Well, that’s a hard one… Jake Gyllenhaal.”

 

There’d been a look on Roger’s face, underneath the laughter and the attitude of a relaxed man who had come to terms with himself, that was sexy and so hot, so self-confident like Novak had never seen the man. It had made him realize that, God forbid, Roger was very aware of the effect he had on people, and the confidence that went with it made him that much more sexy.

 

Yet, there had also been a hell of a lot negative press. His feelings aside, where the fuck was the problem if Roger was into men or women or both? Novak hated all those articles, smashing the Swiss for his sexuality and it just became too much when his family joined in.

 

The talking got to Roger, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Novak didn’t know why he noticed, maybe because he’d become a master in perceiving even the slightest mood swings in the man.

 

The clearest sign, though, was the fact that Roger started to lose his matches more and more often.

 

Roger was that kind of player that could only be stopped by two things, an injury or his own mind. He was usually too good at blanking out everything around him, concentrating on his game like no one else could. There was something wrong when he gave away two-set leads to the lower-ranked players.

 

There were his losses at the 2010 French Open, Wimbledon, at the US Open to Novak himself and again at the Australian Open 2011, and with that the loss of his number one ranking. At this time, the criticism reached a new peak when Roger wasn’t just slammed for his sexuality anymore, but also for his declining tennis career.

 

Roger beat Novak in a fantastic match at the 2011 French Open, but at Wimbledon he fell in the quarter-finals for the second consecutive year, and that was when Roger seemed close to breaking.

 

Novak could remember the day Roger had lost to Tsonga after leading two sets to love. He wasn’t sure how it had happened exactly that he’d ended up in the locker rooms when Roger had come out of the showers. Maybe it had been a bad idea, but he’d spoken before he could have thought twice about it.

 

“Do you know what I don’t get?” No hello, no small-talk, and Roger had seemed just as surprised by his question as Novak had been.

 

“Why I still care about one lost match when I’ve won so many of them?” The tone in Roger’s voice had been neutral because really, they weren’t friends. Underneath that had been a thin layer of exasperation, though, and in that moment he’d decided that enough was enough.  

 

Novak had closed his locker and had picked up his bag silently, only stopping when he’d been at the door to turn around and say: “No. I don’t get why you don’t just tell all those idiots who want to write you off that they can go to hell.”

 

Roger had seemed stunned by what he’d said and maybe it had really been a horrible idea. Had there been any dumber way of making it clear that he cared? He’d left, not waiting for an answer. Later, when he’d calmed down enough to think, Novak had regretted his hasty escape, but it had been too late.

 

For what it was worth, maybe his words seemed to have gotten through to Roger. Or at least that’s what Novak thought when, at the first day of the U.S. Open, the Swiss premiered _Survivor_.

 

It was a crazy day. Novak had never seen so many tennis players in the stands like that day. The announcement of the premier excited everyone, especially since it had been so silent around Roger’s music for a while. How would he deal with the criticism around his person?

 

And how he dealt with it. Evening session, the Arthur Ashe stadium wrapped in darkness, and while several spots of light moved around searchingly, Roger’s voice sounded over the speakers: “With a lot of success comes a lot of negativity.” Images had flashed up on the big screens, sequences of newspaper headlines slamming Roger in the worst way possible while Roger went on talking: “First I felt hurt at everything that’s been said, but then I realized they were just trying to be nasty. It actually inspired me to go back in the lab…” The roar of applause that statement provoked made it impossible to listen to hear anything but screaming for a moment. “… a paper and pen, and write myself out of all that negativity. [The result?](http://labs.4sultani.ro/muzica/_ALTELE/SELECTIE%20ANII%2080-90/023-DESTINYS%20CHILD-SURVIVOR.mp3)”

 

The first chords of the song started playing and Novak fell in love with the song immediately. Everyone stood up, screaming and raving and dancing along to the song like Novak had ever seen it before. And he danced along too.

 

_You thought that I'd be weak without you, but I'm stronger/ You thought that I'd be sad without you, I laugh harder/ You thought I wouldn't sell without you, sold my millions/ Thought it would be over by now, but I won't stop_

 

The song had a big colorful _‘Fuck off’_ written across it and it was a kick in every critic’s dumb ass, showcasing all of Roger’s strength for which Novak loved the song. And their peers who still had a problem with it got a much deserved piece of his mind, too.

 

Then, after he’d beaten Roger in the semi-finals, Novak had felt bad. He’d learned a long time ago to turn off his emotions for the man when they played against each other. Still, when he’d entered the locker rooms he’d felt bad. Roger had just picked up his stuff when Novak had opened his mouth to say something, maybe even to apologize. Before he’d been able to say anything, though, the Swiss had smiled at him. “Congratulations. See you at the finals.”

 

At the time he’d had no idea what Roger had meant with that and he was surprised when the officials informed Rafa and him before their final that, after the first set, there’d be a break of about ten minutes, during which they could stay on court, unless they had to go to the toilet of course. The next surprise came when he saw Roger in the stands.

 

They started playing and though Roger and his presence always were on his mind, Novak managed to concentrate on the match. Then, after losing the first set 4-6 and sitting down in his chair, two boys in dark jeans and white tees walked onto the court. At first he was confused, but when music started playing he remembered the announced break.

 

That was when he noticed that the net was gone, leaving the court oddly naked. One of the two boys was white and had some overweight, the other was black and the complete contrary with his lanky body.

 

To Novak’s surprise even more kids stood up in the audience, boys and girls of all ages ranging from about 10 to 17. They were all dressed in dark jeans and white shirts, making their way down to the court.

 

[All of a sudden](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0aD0u_6ArE), Roger’s voice sounded in the stadium and a quick glance confirmed that the Swiss had disappeared from his seat.

 

“Five… Three… Two-thousand… Eleven… You ready? Let’s Move!” The two boys started clapping to the beat of the song, an auto-tuned voice saying _‘Clap your hands now, clap your hands now…’_

 

And then Roger came running onto the court, in only a jeans and a t-shirt as well as he ran up to the front of the court.

 

_Mission one, let me see you run, put the knees up in the sky ‘cause we just begun, hey…_

 

All of the kids that were moving towards the court had started clapping, too, and the audience – probably just as surprised by what was going on as the two tennis players on their chairs – joined in, the song’s energy too infectious to resist. Roger and the two boys were soon joined by more and more kids, filling up the court until there was only a big mass of more or less synchronal dancers left.

 

Novak watched the performance on the screen, since he couldn’t see Roger from his position. The choreography was insane, but not as insane as the knowledge that Roger was doing all of that while singing _live_ , and flawless at that.

 

The performance was a lot of fun to watch and Novak found himself clapping along with the audience, but it was also challenging with exercises, like the running man. Somehow, though, Roger managed to never look strained, even smiling from time to time, especially when the _‘run to the left, run to the right’_ part came.

 

There was laughter all around him when Roger ran _‘to the left’_ , not his own left but the left from the view of the audience, while the kids around him just ran to _their_ left. It was funny and Roger’s laugh was absolutely adorable, his expressions almost comical.

 

The _‘wave your national flag’_ part was really cool, too. The performance ended when First Lady Michelle Obama threw an apple towards Roger, who picked it out of the air and bit out a piece before walking off the court with the kids.

 

After that the net was built up again, while the First Lady thanked Roger for his participation in the _Let’s Move!_ campaign, for which the Swiss had specially reworked his track _Get Me Bodied_ off of his new album. The break didn’t even take all of the ten minutes, and this way Novak at least could joke at the press release later that all the clapping along to the song had tired him too much to win the match. After all, his nickname was still ‘The Djoker’.

 

 _Move Your Body_ was a great song, fresh and danceable, but it didn’t possess a fraction of its original’s sexiness. It was a weird feeling, listening to Roger’s second studio album for the first time.

 

The songs held an amount of confidence that was just short of arrogance, but that was just what Novak loved about it. The sexiness that came with it, however, only managed to make the jealousy inside him take an even stronger hold on his heart.

 

 _Bootylicious_ , a song celebrating a woman’s curves, or _Naughty Boy_ , the album’s most explicit ‘invitation’… They were amazing songs, but Novak couldn’t stand the images that were popping up in his mind when he heard them.

 

He had no idea about Roger’s private life. Everyone figured he was single, the relationship with Mirka having been nothing but a cover-up, but who would know? And Novak would really be surprised if a man like Roger was single.

 

The album was so damn sexy, so self-confident, Roger’s voice so seductive and God, the live performances… The dance routines Roger was putting on the stage all of a sudden were becoming more and more fantastic and the demand of a concert tour grew and grew.

 

Novak was sure a concert tour by Roger would be incredible. He had the voice, the songs and most of all he was growing as an entertainer. It was just, when should he do it? He had the tennis, so when would he have the time to go on a world tour as well?

 

That was, aside his personal status of course, the one thing Roger had never spoken about in public, not even when he was questioned about it. He just always said there were no current plans, and that was it.

 

It seemed like a natural thing when _Survivor_ became the success it deserved to be. The critical acclaim was just as good, and though the sales didn’t really reach _Me, Myself and I_ , it seemed like Roger would get over it. The annual income of the man had exploded, reaching heights that even put his good friend Jay-Z to shame.

 

For all it was worth, Novak didn’t feel like much had changed. He was still hard after playing Roger, having to bring himself off in the showers before his post-match interviews. He still got that swarm of butterflies in his stomach whenever they met, even if it was just in passing.

 

He still imagined things that weren’t there. Like, he had the impression that Roger made a point of talking to him more. It seemed right in his mind, but then again his mind also liked to fool him at night, making him believe it was Roger’s hands that brought him off and not his own frantic stroking.

 

What he loved about Roger was just how down to earth he still was, even after 16 Grand Slam titles, even after two number one albums (three if you counted his EP), millions of records sold, 7 Grammys and numerous other awards, accomplishments and achievements others wouldn’t even dream of. Getting to see that humble side of Roger wasn’t exactly helping his feelings to cease. Novak found himself wondering again, like he’d done so often in the past five years, if he’d lost his mind.

 

Did his love have even the slightest chance? God, if he only knew whether Roger was single or not, but he just couldn’t find out. It was impossible, the Swiss made his private life a state secret and even if any of the other players had known something, they’d never told him.

 

Not that arrogant, reckless Serbian son-of-a-bitch who’d surely sell any information to the press, just for the fun of it.

 

No, he was just as clueless as he’d been years ago. Okay, he at least knew by now that Roger was into men, but that hadn’t brought him anywhere. Sometimes, during his darkest nights, Novak would tell himself that he’d waited long enough, that it was time to move on.

 

He told himself that this way he wouldn’t have to break the news about his homosexuality to his family, right before adding that he’d fallen for the man they hated with a passion. Well, maybe hate was a little too harsh for the most part of his family, but for his father it surely summed it up quite nicely.

 

And Novak knew there was no way he’d keep a relationship with Roger a secret, not even if hell should freeze and the sun explode.

 

When Novak let all the emotions inside him dwell up late at night, the good as well as the bad, he often enough ended up promising himself that this was it – and the next time he’d see Roger, all of his good intentions flew out the window.

 

It wasn’t that the older man did this on purpose, or at least Novak didn’t think it was possible. But that damn laugh of his, rich and joyful and almost goofy just made the sun shine for him, he couldn’t put it any differently. He was attracted to Roger, both physically and emotionally.

 

Whatever was said about the man, he was strong, a true fighter on and off court, and Novak admired that. He wasn’t always strong, though he tended to never show his weak moments to anyone but his family and closest friends, or even that. There was just that part of him that wanted to lean onto Roger.

 

Seeing Roger on stage when he was performing also added something else, a wish to be the one the man was singing about. It was crazy, but it was just what he felt. _Probably along with millions of adoring fans_ , he always told himself sarcastically, because that’s probably all he was to Roger.

 

Nothing more. 

 

 

# end prologue II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three videos linked in this chapter:  
> 1\. Leona Lewis - Run (Live at the X-Factor 2008)  
> 2\. Destiny's Child - Survivor  
> 3\. Beyoncé - Move Your Body (Music Video)


	3. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is where the story begins. Enjoy, and please comment ^^

**November 7, 2011. Basel, Switzerland**

 

Novak didn’t know why he’d stayed in Basel after losing in the semis. Well, he kind of did, after all he’d been invited to the birthday party of one of his closest friends and that happened to take place in Basel. Still, considering that Roger would appear as well, taking a flight home sooner rather than later had seemed very tempting.

 

For some reasons, though, he was still there and after making his way around, congratulating and handing over his present, he had yet to spot Roger despite already having arrived late. It was the day after the Swiss had won the finals against Nishikori and he surely would be in the spirit to show up for a while.

 

He was unsure if he should be looking forward to seeing the man, and grumpy because he did no matter what. The young Serb decided to sit at the bar and have a drink. It was an early one, but he was planning on keeping it at only this one, so it wasn’t all that bad.

 

After all it had to mean something that Roger would come alone, or at least that’s what Novak had heard someone say.

 

God, he just refused to think about what could happen and what wouldn’t, it didn’t even make sense in his own head anymore. He’d been there so often before, and for all the heartbreak over the course of the last years Novak knew he _should_ know better.

 

The drink was gone faster than he’d planned. Before he could decide on screwing his own not-too-much-alcohol-that-night rule, Roger finally arrived, though he was anything but alone. A tall dark-haired man appeared behind him, wearing a gray suit while the Swiss had opted for dark jeans and a black button down shirt. The sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, revealing tanned forearms. There was a silver Rolex on his left wrist, while a simple black leather wrist band with subtle rivets covered his right one.

 

He watched as the two men made their way around. Novak was aware that he was sending death glares at the unknown man. He didn’t miss how he hovered over Roger, never leaving his side. When Novak realized that they were about to make their way to the bar, the young man turned and stared at his glass, trying to seem indifferent.

 

“Hey”, he heard Roger greet him as he came up beside him, making Novak turn his head to look at him.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Two cokes, please”, Roger ordered and Novak felt his heart sink, noticing only then that the Swiss’ company had taken a seat on the other end of the bar. Roger was probably just saying hello and ordering drinks before going over.

 

“I thought you were coming alone”, he stated when he looked back at the older man beside him, not really sure why he was saying it at all.

 

Roger laughed, throwing a side glance at him as he picked up one of the glasses. “I’m never alone.” With that answer, the Swiss walked over to a man at the end of the bar. They talked to each other for a moment and whatever it was Roger was saying didn’t make the man look happy. Eventually, though, he nodded and with a content nod of his own, Roger came back to Novak and his coke.

 

“Who is he?”

 

Inwardly Novak kicked his own ass. There was no _way_ he could have said that with more dislike and _of course_ it wasn’t lost to Roger. _Why not just scream it out loud for everyone?_ Maybe even his one single drink hadn’t been a good idea.

 

Roger looked at him, longer than before and much more persistent, but Novak couldn’t read the look in his eyes. “Dan is my bodyguard”, he said, studying Novak intently as he turned away to stare down at his glass, embarrassed. “He insisted on coming along, no matter that I’ve tried to tell him he shouldn’t.”

 

 _Damn it_. Novak knew he’d fucked up.

 

“Want another drink?” Roger then asked, making the younger man look up in surprise.

 

“Uh, what?” He’d anticipated everything, really – but this? Maybe a sarcastic remark, maybe a laugh and a well-meant pat on the back… Just _something_ , acknowledging his idiotic behavior for what it was, but it never came.

 

“Another drink?” There was that gorgeous smile on the man’s lips that Novak loved so much, making his heart beat even faster than it already did. Roger had to have caught his reaction before. Hadn’t he?

 

“Yeah”, Novak breathed, not sure what all of this meant. “Yeah”, he repeated, his voice regaining some strength. “But nothing alcoholic.”

 

“Goes to the head so fast, doesn’t it?” There was a subtle smirk on Roger’s lips, causing Novak to suspect that he had no idea just _how_ fucked up he really was.

 

He was 99 per cent sure that Roger _knew_ or at least had his suspicions, but he just ordered a drink for Novak and then they were talking. Often enough they halted their conversation to listen to the speeches on the birthday girl, each one growing more and more comical the further the evening proceeded.

 

Then, eventually, their friend walked up the stage and, after some warm words to everyone joining her that night to celebrate her birthday, she surprised Novak by asking Roger onto the stage. He looked at the man beside him. “I had no idea you’d perform.”

 

“That’s the price I pay”, Roger remarked sarcastically as he winked at him, before quickly making his way to the stage. He stepped up to the microphone and picked it up from the holder, while five guys behind him put up drums, two guitars and a keyboard. The Swiss just watched them, sometime lifting up the micro to say: “I’d help, but I shall not do heavy lifting.”

 

Everyone laughed as one of technicians glared at Roger, making him chuckle. When everything was put up, the band came onto the stage consisting of four women. Novak recognized Bibi, the guitarist, though he’d also seen the others before. The Swiss usually performed with this all-female band and this was apparently no exception.

 

While the women prepared for the performance, Roger started by saying: “Well, first of all, to everyone who’s surprised to see me up here, I had no choice. I was threatened with some horrible things to do something at this party, so here I am.” Laughter again. “Secondly, I never even had a choice in what I’d do tonight, so I’m not responsible for any of the song choices. I actually made the mistake of letting our birthday girl listen to some unreleased songs, and now she wants to hear them. Greedy, I tell ya…”

 

Roger shook his head as he adjusted the height of the microphone holder, putting the micro back in it. “Okay, so we’re gonna start with the ballad and then move on to the more fun stuff, after all this is meant to a party. This is called _‘That’s Why You’re Beautiful’_.”

 

This evening was getting better and better, at least as far Novak was concerned. And now he also witnessed a gorgeous rendition of a song he’d never heard before, which really meant something. There were unreleased songs of Roger’s that had leaked to the internet, but none of these songs had the quality of the one the Swiss was performing this evening.

 

God, Novak had goose-bumps on his arms when Roger finished with that deep gentle note at the end. There weren’t as many people as in a tennis arena, but the applause was still pretty loud and Novak couldn’t help but join in on the whistling.

 

Following the ballad was a haunting rendition of Radiohead’s _Creep_. It was amazing to hear the way Roger sang lines like _‘I wish I was special, You're so very special/ But I'm a creep/ I'm a weirdo/ What the hell am I doing here?/ I don't belong here’_ with so much emotion, like that was exactly how he felt. Novak loved every moment of it, never looking away from Roger.

 

Third up was _Iris_ by the Goo Goo Dolls, a cover of which had been included on Roger’s debut release, followed by a totally different song. Roger introduced it with a smirk as he said: “Okay, so, about this next song I have to say… Wait, are kids here today? … Okay, then I was just drunk when I wrote this one.” Laughter. “This is called _‘Raise Your Glass’_.”

 

The song was nothing like anything Novak had ever heard from the Swiss. It was a rock power anthem, up-beat and just so much fun, it even got a couple of party guests up on the dance floor.

 

 _‘So raise your glass if you are wrong, in all the right ways/ All my underdogs, we will never be never be anything but loud/ And nitty gritty dirty little freaks’_. Roger even raised a couple of chuckles when he thoughtfully cut out the swear words which appeared more than once or twice. Towards the end of the song, the man had almost everyone screaming along to the lines, the party tune definitely raising the mood.

 

Now, after that one was over, Roger waited a moment until everyone had calmed down and then asked the birthday girl on the stage, saying: “And now, my birthday present for you. I know you love this one.”

 

The first notes began playing and some of the guests screamed out in delight. It was _Run_ , and Novak watched in amazement as Roger gave a rendition of this beautiful song. He couldn’t help but think that, somehow, the man did it even better as the first time in 2010. It seemed easier for him to reach and hold the hardest notes and Novak felt how he drifted away.

 

His mind was empty as he just watched Roger, letting the emotions wash over him that this beautiful voice evoked in him, the love that he felt for him, the desire to kiss him, to hold him in his arms, to just be with him.

 

By the time the song’s beat and volume picked up, Roger leaned back from the microphone and called the birthday girl to him, laying an arm around her shoulder as he went on singing.

 

It happened when Roger reached the last strophe.

 

 _‘Even if you cannot hear my voice, I’ll be right beside you, dear. Louder, louder, and we’ll run for our lives’_.

 

All of a sudden their gazes were locked. The Swiss man was looking directly at Novak and his eyes widened in astonishment, an expression of disbelief crossing his face. The moment was gone quickly and Roger kept on singing, but his eyes didn’t leave Novak’s even as he hit that incredible high note at the end.

 

Eventually he looked away and Novak turned to the bar, numbly staring down at his drink as he heard Roger finish the song, then the birthday girl thanking him exuberantly. His mind was going into overload and only his good manners stopped Novak from making a way too early exit.

 

Someone else spoke in the microphone, announcing a birthday present, but Novak didn’t look to see what it was. Roger came up beside him and he could see from the corner of his eyes that he was leaning on the counter with one elbow, watching as the present was handed over. Novak politely turned on his chair and watched as well, kindly applauding when everyone else did, too.

 

He didn’t really notice a lot, though. Roger’s presence behind him was weighting down on him, making it hard for Novak to breathe.

 

What felt like an eternity was probably not even a whole minute later when Roger spoke up. “You never looked at me like that before.” His voice was close to Novak’s ear, both of them applauding again.

 

The Serb wasn’t sure what happened, but something clicked. Maybe enough was enough. Maybe the time had come to finally stand up for his own. Either he’d take off, or he’d fall down hard.

 

With a laugh Novak turned a bit and said, his eyes not leaving the stage where the presentation was still going on: “I do. All the time. You just refuse to notice.”

 

He didn’t see Roger’s reaction, and maybe that was for the better. Seconds went by, then minutes. The father of the birthday girl was preparing to give his speech when Novak finally felt a hand on his arm.

  
Their eyes met immediately when he turned around and even if he’d wanted to, Novak was unable to look away. Roger’s eyes were so beautiful in that moment, wide and big and so full of emotions. They just stared at each other, not even realizing that the speech had already begun.

 

It was just them in that moment and when Roger finally spoke up he whispered quietly, only meant for him to hear. “This is crazy, Novak.”

 

The Serb looked away, averting Roger’s gaze as he tried to remember how to breathe. A hand on his elbow made him go very still. “Do you have any idea of all the walls I’ve built up over the past years?” Their eyes met again, brown ones troubled with emotions. “My life is insane. I barely have time for myself. When on earth should we…?”

 

“There’s always a way to make it work”, Novak whispered, unsure of what was going on really. “And you of all people should know that.”

 

This time it was Roger who looked away and it was in that moment that it really struck Novak. All of a sudden he realized that they were talking about a relationship, about trying to find a way of being together despite Roger’s crazy life.

 

They weren’t even questioning Roger’s feelings for him.

 

In that moment, when Novak noticed the little step they’d let out, moving from almost nowhere to wondering how it should work, he decided it was worth the risk.

 

“I love you.”

 

His voice was quiet and he didn’t even flinch when Roger’s eyes snapped up, burning into his. It didn’t matter, anyway. All he could do now was to let the man see it all – then it was up to him. It already was up to Roger, anyway. “I loved you for so long. Don’t cut me off without even trying.”

 

The words were out and there they were. Where exactly that was, Novak didn’t know. The speech had ended and he turned around to applaud politely, though he hadn’t heard a word. He could feel Roger’s presence and Novak could have sworn the man was looking at him from behind.

 

Novak watched as the birthday girl accepted more presents, glad to see his friend so happy despite his strained nerves. “Do you know what I don’t get?” he finally said and turned to look at Roger, who was still just _looking_ at him, with these gorgeous brown eyes of his. “If this is all just about whether or not I can live with your hectic life, why don’t I get a say in this?”

 

“Nole…”

 

“No, don’t Nole me”, Novak snarled, losing his patience almost as fast as his nerves. “I mean, we aren’t even talking about your feelings here. All you’re saying is that you don’t think this can work, and you’re not even asking me. If you did, I’d tell you that it’s all bullshit.” Roger tried to say something again, but the Serb went on: “I don’t care whether I see you every day or not. I don’t mind you having a full schedule. I don’t want ALL your time, Roger, I just want the part that you can give me.”

 

They were both silent, lost in each other’s gaze and eventually Novak added, his voice much more gentle: “I just want to see you whenever you can, and I don’t care about how often that is. I don’t want everything. I just want what you can give me, nothing more. If you want to give me that.”

 

“I do.” It was the first time Roger got to say something, and to Novak he couldn’t have said anything more beautiful than these two little words. They stared at each other for a moment longer before the Swiss eventually looked down, a sigh on his lips. “I just don’t want you to wake up in a couple of weeks and find out that it’s not enough.”

 

“It cannot be not enough.” Novak’s voice wasn’t much more than a whisper. “It just can’t.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

Roger’s eyes were soft, gentle and so beautifully vulnerable and Novak found himself moving closer to the man. A hand on his chest stopped him, a subtle gesture that no one noticed but him. “Not here.” With a look around Roger made it clear what he meant and though it was hard, the young Serb retreated without moving away.

 

“No one will miss us”, he said quietly, and thank God his words made Roger smile.

 

“Probably not.” Brown eyes looked at him again, serious and raw with emotions. “Novak, I need you to be sure about this. I don’t… I just don’t want you to regret this.”

 

“I could never regret you.”

 

Roger breathed deeply and then walked past Novak, leaving him dumbfounded for a moment. The Serb turned and was calmed when he saw Roger talk to Dan, his bodyguard, whose eyes flickered over to him shortly. It took a minute until Roger finally came back, while Dan went out of the room.

 

“Where’s he going?” Novak asked, for once because he wanted to know and secondly because he couldn’t stand the silence. Silence just rarely was a good thing.

 

“Getting my car”, Roger shrugged, adding when Novak lifted an eyebrow: “It’s a measure of precaution. I made it here without anyone following us, but that doesn’t mean a thing these days. Leaves us just enough time to say good bye.”

 

“Together?”

 

“I’m tired, your hotel is on my way. Easy enough.”

 

Roger wanted to walk away from the bar, but Novak grabbed his wrist, pulling him back gently. “Is it?”

 

“What?” the Swiss asked, strikingly not pulling out of his hold.

 

“My hotel. Is it on your way?”

 

They looked at each other for several seconds before Roger shook his head slightly, saying quietly: “No. Not even close.”

 

Novak swallowed and now it was Roger’s turn to grasp his wrist to pull him with him. It was an easy enough story to sell, after all it was no secret that Roger had played a final the prior day. The fact that he’d give Novak a ride wasn’t raising any suspicions either. Apparently it wasn’t all that unusual to drive a guy you couldn’t stand to his hotel.

 

When they left the birthday venue, Novak was flabbergasted. A black Audi R8. “It was a sponsor gift”, Roger chuckled when he saw his face. “Close your mouth, for heaven’s sake. And dare you drool on the leather.” With that he opened the co-driver door like a gentleman and gestured for Novak to get in.

 

“Hmm, nice car _and_ a gentleman”, the young man said with an appreciative glance, making Roger laugh again. The Swiss walked around the hood where Dan handed over the keys and after another few moments the man disappeared and Roger got into the car. “What about him?”

 

“He’s getting a taxi”, Roger explained as he started the engine, the sound actually making Novak sigh. “Car fetishist?”

 

“Only this one”, Novak chuckled, turning his head to look at Roger. The man was just studying him, a gorgeous smile on his lips. Without thinking about it the young Serb moved to cover Roger’s right hand with his, his thumb gently stroking over the skin. “Are you going to start driving anytime soon?”

 

“What if not?” The smile on Roger’s lips was widening and Novak really had to restrain himself from just leaning over and kiss the life out of him.

 

“If not I’m going to kiss you right now”, he replied, his voice quiet and seductive and he saw how Roger swallowed. “And though I love that idea, I’m not sure a car is the right place, and I really wanna see this baby in action.”

 

That made Roger laugh out loud. He stunned Novak when he lifted his hand to kiss the skin lightly before releasing the break and pulling out into traffic, making full use of the astounding power range of the R8. Novak knew he grinned like a child, but _God_ was it a great car and the drive only got better when Roger reached for his hand this time.

 

They smiled briefly at each other before the older man turned his gaze back on the road. He held Novak’s hand only loosely since he regularly had to shift gears, but he never let go for too long.

 

It wasn’t a long drive, maybe a quarter hour before the Swiss navigated the R8 into the underground garage of a big building with an old historic façade. It was too big to belong to Roger all by himself, maybe he owned one of the apartments. “You live here?”

 

“When I’m in Basel, yes”, was the simple reply while Roger parked the car, letting it come to a gentle halt. He turned off the engine and then, before Novak could move a finger, he shifted in his seat until he could look directly at the young man. “Tell me again that you’re sure.”

 

Roger’s hand had left his when he’d turned the ignition key and Novak was reaching for it again, gently squeezing as he placed a light kiss on one of his knuckles. “As sure as I ever was.”

 

That was apparently all the older man had needed to hear because a second later he was leaning in, placing a soft kiss on a surprised Novak’s lips. It was brief and soft and wonderful, making the young man chuckle softly. “I take it you trust the security level of this building.”

 

“I’m not just living here because of the view, and that already is fantastic”, Roger whispered before claiming his lips again, longer and deeper this time. Novak moaned as he grasped the man’s collar to pull him closer, opening his mouth when Roger’s tongue glided over his lips pleadingly.

 

They broke apart after several minutes, looking into each other’s eyes as they caught their breaths. The beautiful brown orbs were several shades darker than before and Novak couldn’t get enough of staring into them. Just the prospect of these eyes above him when they were making love was almost too much to think about.

 

“Shall we?” Roger’s voice was quiet, leaning back in for another kiss before Novak could answer.

 

“If you go on like that we’ll go nowhere.”

 

The Swiss chuckled as he pulled away. He looked at Novak for another few seconds before eventually opening the driver’s door and getting out of the car. With a sigh Novak followed – the thought of sex in a R8 was much more appealing than it should be.

 

“I definitely like that line of thought”, Roger smirked when he walked up to the man, making Novak blush.

 

“Want to get back in?”

 

Roger laughed as he grabbed the young man’s hand to pull him away from the car. “I might get jealous and besides, I intend to make love to you all night long, and my back definitely can’t take that on a car seat.”

 

Novak almost stumbled at the man’s words. He swallowed hard when Roger slinked an arm around his waist, leading him across the hall to an inconspicuous white door. He entered a combination of numbers into the keypad and the door opened with a quiet beep. Behind it was a little room and then an elevator which they entered, with Roger pressing the only other button than the ground floor.

 

“A private elevator, uh?” Novak said, but didn’t give Roger a chance to answer. Instead he intended to take full advantage of the situation as he pressed the Swiss up against a wall, claiming his lips in a hot kiss.

 

They were still entangled when the elevator doors opened to Roger’s apartment. Reluctantly breaking away, Novak stepped out and took in the sight in front of him.

 

“Wow”, he exclaimed, a smirk emerging on his lips when Roger moved up to him from behind, arms around his waist.

 

The apartment turned out to be a gorgeous big loft, with one big room stretching out in front of Novak. To his right was an open white and modern kitchen with a large kitchen island, an American fridge and a dark wooden table right next to it. The windows on the wall opposite to where they were standing were huge, granting a phenomenal view on Basel at night.

 

“I definitely get what you meant about the view”, Novak stated as he took in the rest of the loft. There was a comfortable looking couch pretty much in the center of the room, with a TV and a sound system in front of it, and in the left corner stood a huge king size bed. Another quick glance around told him that the door to the bathroom was right beside the entrance door.

 

Since he’d taken in all his surroundings Novak turned around to kiss Roger again, wanting to get back to the important stuff. His abrupt action earned him a moan, but a second later Roger had his arms wrapped around the young man again, pulling him close.

 

“So”, Novak whispered when they broke apart after minutes, “I think I remember you saying something about that very hectic schedule of yours.”

 

“Did I?” Roger mumbled back, lowering his head to kiss his neck gently.

 

“Yeah”, the Serb gasped, the sensation sending fireworks of pleasure through his body. “Definitely.” He moaned when Roger sucked on his pulse point lightly. “And, I was wondering… Oh my God, don’t stop that”, Novak moaned, causing Roger to chuckle against his skin. “I was wondering if I could have this night with you.”

 

Kissing his way from his neck to his mouth, Roger whispered: “Right now you can have everything you want.” A moment later he was kissing him again and Novak lifted his hands to bury them in thick brown hair, pulling the man impossibly closer.

 

He would never know how they had made their way to Roger’s bed. Novak just sometime felt the mattress in the back of his knees, but before he could lie down a cell phone ringed in the silence of the room.

 

Roger broke away from his lips, whispering with a hoarse voice: “I’m sorry.” As he fished for his cell in his pockets, Novak placed his hands on the Swiss’ hips and moved in again, kissing along his jaw line. He felt when Roger had found his cell and since he wasn’t speaking up, Novak guessed that it had been a text and not a call.

 

“If you have to be somewhere, I can wait.” Novak leaned back and looked at Roger, who was just pushing his cell back into his jeans.

  
“Maybe you can, but I can’t.” A moment later they were kissing again and this time it was different. Novak could feel the fire that sometimes flared up in songs like _The Beautiful Ones_ , but mostly it was hidden underneath Roger’s amazing control, of his voice, of his tennis, of himself.

 

And now this fire was hitting Novak with full force and threatened to burn him.

 

He didn’t really notice how Roger pulled him closer. All he felt was how the older man consumed him, first his mind, and then, his body.

 

 


	4. Chapter 2

 

 

A groan left Novak’s throat the moment he felt something hard breach his tight ring of muscles. He was rearing up from the sensation as he awakened to Roger gliding into him in one swift movement. The breath was knocked out of him, the older man only pausing when he was fully sheathed.

 

“And here I was thinking you’d never wake up”, a dark voice whispered into his ear and Novak simply grunted. He was still half-consumed by sleep when Roger started to move with long, deep thrusts that left him breathless all over again.

 

He wanted to lift his arms to stroke over Roger’s back. He also wanted to lift his legs and grab the man around his waist, but Novak couldn’t move. His limbs felt like jelly and all he could do was lie there, reduced to a groaning and whimpering mess.

 

It was so good, Roger’s cock grazing his prostate right from the very first thrust. Novak could feel his lips on his skin, kissing his neck and chest while his hand wandered over his body. He grunted again, wanting Roger to kiss his mouth and to touch his cock, but he couldn’t form the words.

 

His orgasm was nearing with frightening speed. When Roger finally took pity on him, moving in to kiss him deeply and laying his hand around Novak’s cock to pump in rhythm with his trusts, the Serb already was too close to last longer than a few seconds.

 

He came hard enough to nearly pass out, his own breathless cry and Roger’s loud groan lost in the sound of his heartbeat in his ear. The Swiss’ body was heavy on his chest, but Novak didn’t complain. He turned his head and pressed a kiss on some part of Roger he could reach, still not able to open his eyes. “Wow.”

 

Roger hummed contently, moving a tiny little bit to take at least some of his weight off Novak. They stayed like that for several minutes, until Roger sometime moved up to kiss him gently.

 

“You going to wake me like this often?” Novak was waking up more now. Apparently sex had that effect on him, though if that were true he’d never have fallen asleep in the first place.

 

“God, you’re a talker”, Roger groaned, just to grin down at him a moment later. Novak loved what he saw. Brown hair completely messed up, some strands sticking to his sweaty forehead.

 

“Hmm”, he grinned, too. “So, are you?”

 

“Am I, what? Awesome?” Roger’s eyes sparkled with mischief.

 

“You are, but I was talking about the waking-me-up-with-sex-part”, Novak chuckled and leaned up to kiss the man.

 

“We’ll see”, Roger replied with a smirk. “I’m not going to spoil you.”

 

Novak laughed as he lifted his hands to place on a strong back, enjoying the feel of hardness wherever he touched Roger. The Swiss’ body was in amazing shape with nothing but flexible muscles underneath velvet skin and Novak loved it.

 

Roger moved in for a long kiss and Novak sighed happily into it. “You still sure?” The words were nothing but a whisper against his lips and when Novak opened his eyes, brown ones were there to meet him.

 

He smiled up at Roger. “You just ask that now because you already know the answer anyway, after sex like that.” That was making the older man chuckle. “But now that I think about it, we’ve never talked about your feelings for me.”

 

“We haven’t?” Roger was still chuckling as he leaned his forehead against Novak’s, looking him in the eyes. “Do you want to?”

 

“After sex like this… hell, yeah.” Another laughter, another kiss and another moment of raw perfection. God, Novak loved this man.

 

“Do you remember, after my match at Wimbledon?” Roger looked softly at him and the Serb nodded, though he wasn’t sure where the man was going with this. “I think it was then that I started to realize that I care.”

 

Novak stared up at him, taking in Roger’s words. “You never said anything about that day.”

 

“I know”, Roger admitted. The next time they’d seen each other after that day they’d both acted like nothing had happened, and Novak had always wondered why that had been. Now he knew. “I wouldn’t have had the courage to bring out _Survivor_ if not for your words that day. And I never even thanked you for it.”

 

For all of a minute, all Novak could do was to stare up at Roger, stunned by what he’d heard and what he was seeing. There was so much honest thankfulness in the man’s eyes that it was almost overwhelming. “You don’t have to thank me”, he eventually whispered and raised his hands to lay them against Roger’s cheeks. “You really don’t.”

 

“I want to”, the Swiss smiled as though he knew exactly what Novak was thinking. “I always wanted to talk to you over the next months, to thank you, but I never managed. I guess, deep down, I knew I was trying to just get to talk to you more, and I couldn’t make myself. I just… You’re right. I never noticed how you look at me. I never noticed you look at me at all.”

 

Novak chuckled. “That either means you’re so used to people looking at you that you don’t notice anymore, or you’re just very blind.”

 

“Maybe I am”, Roger grinned, closing his eyes when Novak’s hands glided down to his neck, thumbs gently stroking over his jaw. “Though I guess Bey did notice.”

 

“She did?”

 

“Yeah. She tried to tell me that you like me.”

 

“But you wouldn’t believe her.”

 

Roger opened his eyes and looked at him again. The brown orbs were holding a bizarre mixture of happiness and sadness. “Maybe I didn’t want to. I’m still not sure this is a good idea. I’m not saying that I don’t… That I don’t love you. Because I do. It’s just… I don’t want to make you unhappy by never being there. I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

The young Serb reached up and kissed Roger, moving a hand to the back of his head. He kissed him long and thoroughly, with all of the emotions that he was feeling in that moment.

 

When they broke apart they were both panting, the older man lowering his head to hide his face in the crook of his neck. Novak’s heart was doing funny things in his chest and he couldn’t help the smile on his lips. God, he was so damn smitten. “Do you want to know what I think?” He felt Roger nod and added: “I think it says a lot that you’re thinking like this, but I meant it when I said I don’t care about your schedule. I love you, and all that you do is a part of you. I don’t want you to change any of it for me.”

 

A moment later they were kissing again, Roger rolling them over so that Novak was on top of him, his arms around the young man’s waist. Roger’s hands came up to frame his face and he broke away, staring up at him. “I love you”, he said, his voice dark and raspy. “I love you, and I just hope that you know what you’re doing here.”

 

“I love you, too”, Novak smiled down at him. He then moved a bit, letting his thigh nudge Roger’s soft cock. The action brought him a gasp. “And I can’t believe you’d doubt that I know what I’m doing.” They both knew what Roger had meant, but it was okay. They’d talked enough for one night. Now it was time for some more fun.

 

~~~****~~~

 

The sun was shining warmly on his back when Novak woke up the next morning. He was lying on his stomach, head resting comfortably on a pillow and the young man wondered why he was up at all. He was feeling great, all cozy and relaxed, but as he extended one arm across the mattress, he knew why he’d woken.

 

Novak opened his eyes to see the bed spread out empty in front of his face. In the next moment he was looking up and right into brown eyes. Roger was sitting on the couch in simple blue jeans and a black tee. He held a bowl in his hand and was eating silently while obviously having spent his time watching Novak.

 

“How long have you been sitting there?” the Serb smiled but didn’t move. He tried not to blush at the thought of Roger having watched him sleep.

 

“A while”, Roger smiled back at him, but it didn’t seem heartfelt. A second later he was looking down at his bowl and Novak had a feeling he couldn’t quite look him in the eyes.

 

“Something on your mind?”

 

Another spoonful of whatever he was eating disappeared in Roger’s mouth and then he was standing up. He grabbed a folder from the table in front of him and came walking to the bed. “Yeah”, Roger sighed as he sat on the bed beside him, his legs bend beneath him. For a moment Novak couldn’t tear his eyes from the man’s thighs, thinking that it should be forbidden for a man to have such awesome legs. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

 

Looking up at Roger’s face, Novak said: “You know, it wouldn’t hurt if you’d look only half as nervous about it as you do.”

 

He got a little chuckle for that. “Sorry. It’s just pretty huge, and normally I’d have to ask you to keep it for yourself, but it’ll go public very soon anyway, so… At least I don’t have to make you shut up.” Roger glanced up at him and Novak swallowed at the look in his eyes. “You could shut up about it, couldn’t you?”

 

 _God._ “Uh”, Novak somehow brought out and made the older man smirk as he leaned down, bringing their faces close.

 

“Could you?”

 

The way the man was looking at him made ideas pop up in his mind Novak hadn’t even considered before. He said with a raspy voice: “I think you wanted to tell me something, and if we go down that line, you won’t for at least an hour.”

 

Roger burst out laughing and leaned in to kiss him firmly. “Fine”, he finally said and sat back, picking up the folder to hand it over to Novak. “Read it yourself. I got breakfast earlier, want a coffee or something else?”

 

“Coffee’s fine”, Novak said and took a moment to watch Roger stand up and walk to the kitchen, eyes lingering on his ass.

 

“Get your eyes off my ass and read that damn file.”

 

The Serb rolled his eyes – Roger hadn’t even looked at him -, but he did as he was told and sat up to open the folder, only to freeze completely. This couldn’t be.

 

**Roger Federer: I AM… WORLD TOUR**

 

Novak’s mouth hung open and he didn’t even notice it. The folder in his hand was basically a collection of everything that was needed to bring on a worldwide concert tour. There were lists of everyone involved in it: the band members, the background dancers and vocalists and, even more importantly, the directors and producers. Simply everyone who was having a part in the tour and it was an impressive list as far as he could tell. Costume sketches, several possible set lists and opening acts…

 

The young man looked up when Roger came back to the bed with a cup in his hand, remembering that he hadn’t thought of mentioning how he liked his coffee. “Uhm, do you have sugar and cream, I…”

 

“Try it.” With that Roger sat back down on the bed beside him while Novak took a sip, just to realize that it was perfect.

 

“How do you know how I drink my coffee?” he asked in surprise. It was the perfect combination of cream and sugar really.

 

“I love you, remember? I saw you make your coffee at the breakfast buffet a while ago.” The Swiss was leaning on one hand as he sat beside Novak, a gorgeous smile on his lips.

 

“And because you’re a gentleman you took notice?” Novak laughed and shamelessly took advantage of their position. He leaned with his side against Roger, placing his head on the man’s shoulder as he handed the cup over again to go back to looking through the folder. “I love you, too.”

 

Roger sighed at that. “Keep that in mind and flip to the last page. Let’s get to the core of this.”

 

Novak frowned, but the moment he saw what the last page contained he immediately understood what Roger’s slightly dark mood was about. “ _Three weeks_?”

 

“Well, not considering the preview show, yes”, Roger sighed again. “I’ll fly to the States after Paris for a preview show in Las Vegas. The tour will start right after the World Tour Finals, which is in three weeks.”

 

Now that was some news. “You know, I wasn’t expecting a whole month alone with you, but this… Wow.”

 

Roger pressed a kiss in his hair. “I’m sorry”, he whispered as he leaned his head against Novak’s. “I know this isn’t really ideal, but I’ve worked so long for this. And the fact that it starts in three weeks is just the start. Look at the dates.”

 

Novak did, the frown coming back up on his forehead. The preview show was on November 16, with the first show of Roger’s tour at November 28 in London. There were numerous shows during December, which wasn’t that bad considering they had holidays then. The further down the list Novak went, though, the more he realized that Roger would never get more than three days during shows, except one week off at the end of February. And that didn’t change until the end of the tour mid May.

 

“This schedule is…” He didn’t even find words for it. There was no way Roger could have forgotten about the tennis tournaments, so that meant this was the final schedule. And it was just…

 

“… Insane. I know”, Roger chuckled. “Believe me, I know, but this is why I do what I do, to be out there and perform my music. I don’t care much about the studio work.”

 

“Are you sure?” Novak leaned back and looked at Roger, taking another sip of his coffee before going on: “I mean, I know how crazy the tennis alone can get, and then this… You have basically no time off at all.”

  
“All I can tell you is that it worked for the last three months already.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, I’ve been working on the tour since before the US Open, creating choreographies and rehearsing every day since the decision on it was made. So I already spent most of the time doing matches during the day and the drill of a show at night.”

 

“No wonder I beat you in the semis”, Novak grinned, making Roger laugh out loud.

 

“Maybe a part of it was you playing really good, too”, he said generously. Roger then slinked an arm around him and pulled him close, kissing him on the cheek. “Look, I know this is pretty big and I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay”, the Serb sighed dramatically, though he then couldn’t suppress a little chuckle. “I’ve waited so long for you. I think I can live with not seeing you as often as I’d like to. I’m used to missing you.”

 

“Maybe this is about me”, Roger said softly into his ear, his breath dancing over the skin. Novak shivered. “Maybe I can’t stand the thought of missing you.”

 

Looking up at Roger he wasn’t surprised to find brown eyes right there to meet him and after a couple of seconds Novak reached up to kiss him gently. He put his by now empty cup on the ground without breaking away from these sexy lips. The moment his hand was free Novak placed it on Roger’s chest and pushed him back against the cushions.

 

“Then I guess we’ll just have to make the most of the time that we got”, the Serb whispered against the older man’s lips suggestively, making him chuckle darkly.

 

“That, and you could always come with me if you want.” Roger’s lips caught his in another deep kiss before he could answer and it took Novak a while to make himself break free.

 

“You serious?” he gasped as he nestled up to the warm body beneath him, inwardly cursing the clothes against his naked skin. “And I really think you’re overdressed here.”

 

Roger laughed as he sat up a bit to remove his shirt while answering: “Yes, I’m serious. Well, during the holidays, anyway. Which would mean December, parts of January and February, April…” He gasped when Novak’s hands that were currently opening his jeans brushed his cock.

 

“Well, let me talk to my coach about it, but I’d love to be with you as much as I can.” Kissing his way down to Roger’s neck, Novak didn’t waste much time getting rid of the pants and underwear all at once. “You know, I haven’t seen most of these cities you’re traveling to, so I’ll definitely know what to do with my time.”

 

“You know, as far as I’m concerned, I’m supposed to stay in bed almost all day when I don’t have a match.” The tone in Roger’s voice made chills rock through him and Novak looked up into dark brown eyes, mesmerized by what he saw.

 

“Really?” The young man smirked as he stretched out on top of Roger slowly, until the complete lengths of their bodies were pressed together. Looking down at his beautiful face Novak mumbled: “Well, I can totally live with that, too.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

“Your mum?”

 

Novak was lying on his side with Roger pressed tightly against his back, once again skimming through the folder. It definitely made for an interesting reading.

 

“Fuck”, Roger groaned against the back of his neck. “I can’t have sex like that and talk about my mum two minutes later. I’ll get nightmares from that.” The Serb grinned, nudging Roger with his elbow and making him chuckle. “Fine. If my mum’s the first thing on your mind after sex with me, so be it.” He moaned when Novak hit him harder this time. “Yeah, whatever. Well, my mum. She’s been helping me so much even before the decision on a tour was made, encouraging me and telling me I can do it. And then she’s helped so much as a creative consultant. I just wanted her name on there as well.”

 

“You’re just too cute.” Novak turned his head and kissed Roger briefly. “And now, tell me about the tour. I’d be especially interested in which set list is the final one.”

 

“Ah, no, forget it”, Roger laughed, kissing him underneath the ear lovingly. “That’s staying a secret. And it’s not like I’m a hundred per cent done yet anyway. I mean, most of it obviously, but I’m not sure about how the shows are going to end. I got an idea this morning, though, which reminds me…”

 

With that the Swiss rolled on his back and then to his other side, fishing for his jeans as Novak complained about being cold. Roger came back to his place behind him, placing a kiss on his shoulder as he dialed a number and lifted the phone to his ear.

 

“Ryan?” There was a groan on the other end of the line and Roger chuckled as someone was talking, or rather grumbling into his ear. “Look, Ryan, suck it up and get over it.” He totally ignored Novak’s snort. “No, I’m not alone, but phone sex wasn’t why I called. Can you come to Paris?” Silence, on both ends of the line. “Hello?”

 

“ _ARE YOU KIDDING ME?_ ” It was loud enough for Novak to hear it like the phone was held against his ear and he laughed quietly.

 

“No, when it’s about recording a song I don’t kid.” That obviously caught that Ryan guy’s attention and Roger went on: “Look, I’m in Paris for the next week, so ask Evie if she’s up for a vacation, she loves the city too much to say no. I’d really like you on this one.”

 

“Why me?”

 

Roger laughed. “I don’t know, but you’re actually good at what you’re doing. So, call me when you landed. Sorry I woke you up.” With that he hung up and let the cell fall onto the bed behind him, just to cuddle back up to Novak.

 

“So, a call from you and this Ryan guy is going to fly across the Atlantic?” the young man grinned as he turned onto his back and looked up at Roger. It wasn’t hard to tell that the call had gone to America, it’s the only place where it was night at the moment.

 

“Ryan Tedder and well, we’re friends, so he won’t even be mad at me.”

 

“Hmm, this is hot”, Novak purred and leaned in to place a kiss on Roger’s neck, not missing the shudder that went through him. “You know, you commanding Ryan fucking Tedder across half the planet, I mean the guy is a genius.”

 

Roger chuckled and kissed him. “Yeah, that he is. I’m just going to make Jay-Z get a meltdown when I tell him I might be bringing out a completely new song right before the tour.”

 

“Wouldn’t he be rather delighted?”

 

“He usually is, but he’s becoming a dad in two months and he’s so completely over the moon, especially when Bey’s around”, Roger laughed and Novak didn’t miss the dreamy look that was coming up in his brown eyes.

 

“They aren’t the only ones excited, huh?” he asked, still looking at Roger who was grinning meaningfully.

 

“Remember when I said you’re lucky you don’t have to shut up about the tour? Well, this is very different, as in you can’t tell anyone.”

 

“I can keep a secret”, the Serb lifted one hand. “I swear.”

 

“Okay then, yes, I’m very, _very_ excited about my goddaughter.” Novak just stared up at Roger. He couldn’t really just have spilled the most anticipated news of the gender of the child of the king of hip hop and the queen of R &B, right? “Well, it was a fifty per-cent chance, roughly.”

 

That brought Roger a smack against the shoulder, which just made him laugh out loud, though. “Idiot”, Novak chided, even if he couldn’t suppress the grin. “God, I can’t believe I know the godfather of the child of _Jay-Z and Beyoncé_. Actually I’m just lying in bed with him, naked…”

 

With one swift movement the older man was on top of him, still laughing as he looked down at Novak. “When’s your flight to Paris?”

 

“Around four. I’ll just have to drive to the airport, my luggage’s already there”, he replied with a smirk. “Why do you ask?”

 

“I was just thinking we should take advantage of the naked part, you know…”

 

~~~****~~~

 

**November 8, 2011. Paris, France**

 

Novak was on his bed when the commercial for Roger’s tour was premiered on the TV that night. Admittedly, it was pretty awesome. Consisting of a collection of some of the Swiss’ former performances it was interlaced with figures of album and single sales, which was impressive in itself.

 

The first cities Roger would travel to were listed and then the date the tickets for the European leg went on sale, which was Friday that same week. The advert ended with the preview show Roger would do in Las Vegas the following week and a mention of the dozens of internet pages tickets could be purchased on.

 

So it was happening.

 

Just when he’d finally – God, finally, eventually, _in the **fucking** end_ – gotten what he’d wanted for so freaking long, Novak would have to let go right again. He tried not to get bitter and it was working quite well. It stung, though, but it wasn’t like that was a bad thing.

 

Of course, in his dreams they’d get a month or two with just the two of them. That wasn’t how Roger’s life worked, though, and Novak kind of even liked that. It was exciting and he totally looked forward to snatching up as many moments with Roger as he could.

 

His cell went off and a look at the caller ID totally made Novak grin widely. “Hey, missing me already?”

 

A soft chuckle greeted him. “Well, what can I say, yes.” He could hear a beep in the background and then quiet rustling. “You want to come over? I have a late match tomorrow and nothing to do until then.”

 

Novak smirked, already turning off the TV. “As if I could say no to that”, he replied. “Your tour advert was just on, by the way.”

 

“Yeah? Good”, Roger sounded like he was rather busy with something else. “Have you eaten yet?”

 

“Not much, why?” Novak asked as he picked up his key card and left the room.

 

“Well, I have Japanese food, but it goes with a little snag in it.” 

 

So that was what the rustling had been about. “And that would be?”

 

“I’ll tell you when you’re here. Master suite.”

 

“I figured. I’ll be right there.” Novak hung up with a smile as he called for the elevator. To his surprise a bunch of tennis players stumbled out of the cabin when the doors opened, including Roger’s and his good friend Rafael Nadal as well as the two Andys.

 

“Oh, Nole, hi”, Rafa greeted him, going on before the Serb could reply anything: “We just seeing TV when we see commercial about a tour, did you see? I mean, it’s crazy, when does Roger have the time for it? But it’s so cool, do you think we will get extra tickets? I hope we get extra tickets, I really want to see this live, it’s going to be awesome…”

 

Andy Roddick sighed dramatically. “He has to be breathing through his hair. He just has to.”

 

Novak grinned as Rafa stopped in his ranting to look at the American sternly. “You is not excited?”

 

“Just because I’m not going all fan girly doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s cool.”

 

“Yes, it does.” Rafa said it so seriously that Andy actually stared at him disbelievingly, but the Spaniard couldn’t hold his mask for long and burst out laughing after a couple seconds.

 

Andy Murray and Novak laughed at Roddick’s disapproving look and the young Serb noticed only at the last moment that the elevator was closing again. He quickly put a hand between the doors and stepped in when they opened again.

 

His friends looked at him oddly. Rafa asked: “Where you going, is late? Want to come with us, we want to get at a laptop and watch the advert again. Is pretty awesome.”

 

Novak chuckled. Apparently he wasn’t the only one thinking that. “Ah, no thanks, I already saw it. I’d rather go on a little walk. See you soon, guys.”

 

The doors closed and Randy whistled thoughtfully. “Is he taking a walk on the roof?”

 

“What?” Rafa and Mandy looked at him oddly and the American nodded to the digital display of the elevator’s position, which told them Novak was indeed making his way up. “Weird…”

 


	5. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Beyoncé and Jay-Z.

“So, what about that snag you mentioned?” Novak’s voice was ragged as he leaned against the wall beside the entrance door. Roger stood closely with his face hidden in the crook of his neck, both of them trying to catch their breaths.

 

“Jay and Bey are coming over in five minutes”, the Swiss said so matter-of-factly that for a moment Novak thought he was kidding. When he realized Roger was all serious, his head snapped up and he moved to get out of their position, absolutely about to freak out.

 

A groan left his throat when he collided roughly with the wall again, and if he’d thought their prior kisses had already been hot, Roger showed him what that really meant. At least as far as he was concerned.

 

The Swiss brought the whole lengths of their bodies together as he ravaged Novak’s mouth. Somehow he made it seem like they were kissing for the very first time, the intenseness crushing down on the young man with full force.

 

As abruptly as the kiss had started Roger broke it off again, leaving Novak standing at the wall as he stepped away from him. Confused, the Serb stared at Roger’s back for a few seconds, but then he remembered why exactly they weren’t stumbling towards the bedroom right then.

 

“Now that is one distraction method you got there”, he panted, just to let a loud groan follow. “But freaking hell, don’t do this again without the chance of doing something about it afterwards.”

 

Roger laughed and turned around. He was still breathing hard, his pupils dilated so much that it seemed like his eyes had turned black. Novak couldn’t stop staring at him. The man was so freaking sexy in that moment and if it weren’t Jay-Z and Beyoncé that were about to come over, he’d just have locked the door and have his way with him.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me on the phone?” he asked, trying to find a way to get this tension between them to go away. He didn’t want to meet two of the most famous persons in the world half-hard.

 

“Would you have come up?” Roger lifted a meaningful eyebrow, making Novak realize that he was right. He would never have left his hotel room. “They have that effect on everyone, especially since Bey’s pregnant. But I can reassure you. They’re some of the best people I know.”

 

Novak finally pushed himself off the wall, pulling a face when he walked over to Roger. “God, I can’t believe you kissed me like that and just walked away.”

 

“It wasn’t easy”, the man grinned. “Believe me. And… uh-uh, forget it. No, Nole, seriously, this will be my goddaughter and I don’t…”

 

Novak grasped Roger’s wrists and just pulled him in, ignoring his complains. He kissed him gently on the cheek before winding his arms around his shoulders and holding him close. After a few seconds the older man returned the hug, like Novak had hoped he would.

 

The Serb sighed and laid his chin on Roger’s shoulder, eyes closing as he stroked up and down the back of his neck slowly. “I love you.”

 

He felt the arms around him tighten and a smile came up on his face when Roger kissed his neck lightly. “Love you, too, Nole.” They stayed like that until a soft knock sounded from the door. With a short kiss on his lips the older man walked to the door to open it, leaving a very nervous Novak behind.

 

“Roger”, a female voice said and a moment later the Swiss was in another embrace. “It’s so good to see you.”

 

“You too, Bey”, Novak heard his lover chuckle. “Both of you.”

 

A laughing Beyoncé Knowles appeared in his field of vision. The moment their eyes met she stopped laughing, though a broad smile remained on her lips. “Look who’s here. It’s so great to finally meet you.” Novak was very surprised when the pregnant woman came over to him and pulled him into a hug as well.

 

“Uh, the same here”, he replied and then couldn’t help but smile. “I’m actually a big fan of yours. Too bad I didn’t know you were coming until a few minutes ago.”

 

That made her laugh again. “Well, thank you, I’m honored. Especially considering all the things I’ve heard about you.”

 

“Only bad things”, Roger said jokingly and Novak finally noticed Beyoncé’s husband, though he wondered how he could have overlooked the impressive black man’s presence. Jay-Z was just releasing Roger from an embrace when his dark brown eyes laid on Novak.

 

He immediately had the feeling that he wasn’t meeting a friend of Roger’s, but more of a very protective father and Novak swallowed uncomfortably. And the man was quite an impressive figure as well, about as tall as him but even heavier in build as Roger was.

 

Jay-Z slowly walked towards him, seizing him up intently. For a second Novak really expected him to tell him to keep his hands off his protégé and get out, which he would have done without a thought.

 

Instead he found himself in another hug, this one definitely more hip-hop-style-like and only then did he hear the quiet chuckle coming from both Beyoncé and Roger.

 

“Don’t scare him off like that, Jay”, Beyoncé grinned at her husband when he released Novak, now a broad grin on his face and the Serb finally realized he’d just been messed with.

 

“Why not”, the black man shrugged. “He’s dating one of my best friends. I have the right to know if he has balls.”

 

“He does. Get over it, the food’s getting cold.” Roger was grinning widely as he closed the door while Beyoncé and Jay-Z walked into the room. The pregnant woman sat down on the couch, while her husband took a place in the armchair right next to her.

 

Roger gently grasped Novak’s hand, stepping up close to him from behind: “You okay? I know he can be scary.”

 

“Ungh”, was all Novak brought out, making Roger chuckle again.

 

He leaned in and kissed the young man on the cheek before mumbling against his skin: “I love you. And now c’mon.” With that he pulled Novak with him and towards where Beyoncé and Jay-Z were already sifting through the variety of food cartons.

 

Bey smiled up at Roger when they neared, an intimate smile like only very close friends shared and Novak couldn’t help the pang of jealousy in his heart. To see the woman reach for his man’s hand the moment Roger was sitting down only made it worse. She placed the hand on her belly and after a few seconds the Swiss man burst out laughing.

 

“So I take it she’s sportive, which makes her the daughter of her mum, but I can kind of see that. Still no proof of your assistance, Jay.”

 

“Shut up, man”, Jay-Z said, though he couldn’t hide his smile and quickly ate a spoonful of noodles.

 

“She’s getting more and more active every day”, Beyoncé smiled, but pulled a face a moment later.

 

“Yeah, and she’s mixing up your kidneys with a dance floor, I get it”, Roger laughed as he grabbed a box of food and a couple of chopsticks to hand them over to Novak who was still standing beside the couch. “I know you like these.”

 

Roger smiled up at him and somehow that erased all the jealousy at once. There was so much love in the man’s eyes, such gentleness. Novak knew the smile that came up on his lips was probably making him look silly, but he didn’t care. He sat down beside Roger, closely, as he accepted the box and took a look at what was inside.

 

“First the coffee and now this. When the hell did you see me eat Japanese food?” The question made Roger laugh again and he leaned in to kiss him gently.

 

“I’m good, get over it”, the older man stated before picking up a box for himself. Novak didn’t miss the glance Beyoncé and Jay-Z exchanged, a knowing smile on their lips and his heart really seemed to want to jump out of his chest from joy.

 

The meal went by uneventfully and mostly in pleasant silence. There was some talking about Roger’s tour, but that pretty much cut it until Jay stood up to collect the boxes and put them in a bag. It was weird, handing over his own box to the king of hip hop, but Novak noticed the smirk on Roger’s face and knew he wasn’t the only one thinking that.

 

The difference was that the Swiss wouldn’t shut up about it. “You really got yourself a great house husband there.”

 

While Bey just laughed, Jay shot Roger a dark glance and grumbled: “You better shut up. I already had to calm down a very agitated producer who complained about your horrible manners.”

 

“Ryan’s such a baby”, Roger laughed. “And c’mon, it can happen that one messes up the time shifts, right?”

 

“Sure thing”, Jay looked at him doubtfully and with an amused smirk, but he let it go. “Now c’mon. There’s a few things we need to talk about.”

 

With a gentle touch on Novak’s thigh and a kiss Roger stood up and walked to the balcony with Jay-Z, leaving the Serb and Bey on the couch. To his surprise the woman turned a bit and smiled at him kindly, a protective hand always lying on her belly.

 

“They always do that when they talk about business”, she explained, but stopped herself from going on to breathe deeply, obviously going through another hard kick of her baby.

 

“Do you want a glass of water?” Novak asked, not really knowing what else to do.

 

“Yes, please.”

 

He quickly stood up and got each of them a glass and a bottle of water. Sitting back down and pouring the water into their glasses, Novak was very aware of the woman’s gaze lingering on him.

 

She thanked him and took a sip before saying: “So, Roger told me you got together only yesterday. I take it he’s told you about his tour?”

 

“Yes, and yes, he has”, Novak nodded, feeling the mix of emotions dwelling up inside him once again as he thought about it.

 

“Don’t be sad about it”, Bey said, making him look at her with slight surprise. She just chuckled. “Don’t be surprised, I know what you feel like. Jay and I sometimes don’t see each other for weeks when we’re both on tour. You two are lucky you’re both on the tennis tour, at least.”

 

“Won’t be of much good the next few months”, Novak shrugged, but his words just made Beyoncé shake her head.

 

“Wrong, without the tennis tour you wouldn’t get to see him at all. You may not be with him every day, but at least you’ll get to see him on the days he has matches, and believe me, that really makes a difference.” There was a sad look passing through the woman’s eyes and Novak thought that admittedly, he was lucky to have the tennis tour with Roger.

  
“Do you miss him a lot when you’re apart?” Novak wasn’t sure why he asked that. It wasn’t like they really knew each other, but on the other hand Roger had arranged for him to meet the couple right the day after they’d gotten together. The three were close friends and somehow he felt connected to Beyoncé. Both their men were incredibly busy, though Novak had yet to find out how much that really was going to affect their relationship.

 

“I still miss him every day that I’m not with him”, Bey answered with a soft smile on her lips and Novak just knew that it was the complete truth. She looked towards the balcony and Novak saw Jay-Z return her gaze with a proud happy smile, just like the happy going-to-be-father that he was. “You know”, she turned back to him. “I don’t want to lie to you. It can be hard. Sometimes I wake up and cry because I want to be with Jay, but I know it’s going to be another few weeks before I finally get to see him again. The worst thing is that I know that he wants to be with me, too, but we just can’t make it happen.”

 

“How do you handle it?” Novak’s voice was soft and gentle. He really got what Beyoncé was talking about.

 

“I don’t know”, Bey laughed quietly. “I guess it’s about the time that you actually get to be with the one you love. You have to make the most of that. I respect Jay and his work and I will always support him in whatever he wants to do, and I know it’s the same with him and my work. And look at me, now I’m becoming the mom of his baby. It all works out if you want it to, but you have to work for it.”

 

Novak nodded, thinking about what Beyoncé had just said. He was so deep in thought that he was a little startled when she went on.

 

“I know Roger very well and I know that he’s refused to consider any serious relationship over the last few years because of his schedule. And I agree, his life is insane and this will be hard on him.”

 

“He said he’s been doing matches and rehearsals on the same day for a few months and it works.”

 

“I’m not talking physically, Novak”, Bey said softly. “The thing about a world tour is that you have to pull through a two-hour show with the same energy and passion that you put into the last one, maybe even more. Roger’s amazingly fit, but a tour can be tiring, especially mentally. Add to that the fact that he’s going to miss you, and I’m just glad that he’ll at least have his mother with him almost all the time.”

  
Novak hadn’t thought about it like that, but it sounded so true coming from Beyoncé. He was sure she was speaking from experience and it just made it so much more real now.

 

“You know, being with a musician isn’t always easy, and I know it from both sides”, Bey smiled. “Roger’s living his dreams, but it gets tiring at times. Just try and be understanding. He’s a wonderful man, honest and romantic, with a big heart. If I weren’t already spoken for…”

 

“Hey”, Novak grumbled, making the American laugh again and the young man joined in. “Yeah, I know”, he finally said and looked at the balcony where Roger and Jay were deep in conversation. “I know very well why I fell in love with him.”

 

Beyoncé smiled happily at him, a sentiment Novak shared whole-heartedly. It was weird, but talking about this somehow made it all the more real for him. God, with all the things going on within the last 24 hours he hadn’t even realized it all yet.

 

“Does your family know?” Beyoncé’s voice was quiet and sympathetic, like she already knew the answer, but asked anyway. Novak wasn’t dumb enough to think she was talking about Roger, no. She was talking about men in general, or more accurate his homosexuality.

 

“I honestly don’t know”, he sighed. “I never talked to them about my sexual orientation, but I mean, I never brought home any girlfriends, at all. And Jelena… I can’t believe they’d think we’re really together.”

 

“I’m from Texas, I think I get where you come from.” The woman smiled at him. “Just don’t forget who you are. And maybe it’s time to let them in on this.”

 

“Yeah, definitely”, Novak agreed and then shrugged. “I’m not going to hide anything. I mean, going public is something totally different, but I don’t intend on hiding that I’m seeing someone from my family.”

 

“And you shouldn’t. Jay and I don’t discuss our relationship in public, at all, but I couldn’t imagine the burden it’d be to hide something that means so much to me from the people I love. I don’t want to tell you how to do anything, it’s just an advice.”

 

“I know”, Novak smiled, “and I really appreciate it. Thank you.”

 

“You’re very welcome”, Beyoncé smiled, but before she could go on Roger and Jay-Z came back in.

 

“… that new song of yours, if it’s any good I’ll see what I can do about a short-time visit at some TV show. Otherwise we’ll stick to the plan so far, you’ll fly to Las Vegas on Monday?”

 

“Why not earlier, won’t get to the final anyway”, Roger remarked sarcastically before leaning down to kiss Novak gently. He then sat down beside him so that the younger man was between Roger and Bey, placing his arm around Novak’s shoulder as if it was the most normal thing on earth to do. Novak loved it.

 

“Don’t say that, you never know”, Beyoncé chided with him, though she couldn’t hide the broad grin on her face. Novak saw her exchange a glance with her husband, and after a few moments of just looking at them she added: “You know, I’ve never actually seen you in love.”

 

The Serb knew that he was blushing and he hated it, but God did these words make his heart flip and turn. Roger by his side didn’t chuckle or say anything, which told Novak he was a bit taken aback as well.

 

It also told a whole other story he hadn’t really dared to think about. Roger hadn’t had a relationship in the last couple of years? That was new, at least to him, but it made sense considering his life and Roger’s uncertainty even after Novak had told him he loved him.

 

The man was even more scared than Novak was that their time together wouldn’t be enough. It was funny, the thought that it wouldn’t be enough never crossed Novak’s mind. He knew he was going to miss Roger like crazy, but that didn’t mean he’d give away what he had with him. Never.

 

Roger finally cleared his throat, though he didn’t say anything. Maybe he didn’t have to. The arm around his shoulders tightened a bit, pulling Novak against him more and he couldn’t resist the urge to lay a hand on the Swiss’ thigh possessively.

 

The warmth he felt through the jeans was incredible and soothing. Novak saw how Jay reached for his wife’s hand and the two shared a little smile – and all of a sudden he realized that he wasn’t the only single in the room anymore. There was a warm body beside his, close and reassuring, an arm around him that was holding him close.

 

He never really liked going to parties, because he always ended up surrounded by couples and it just made him feel lonely. Now, though, he saw Beyoncé and Jay-Z and Novak realized how lucky he was. How damn lucky.

 

“What about that song you want to record, Roger?” Beyoncé asked, her fingers entwined with Jay’s on her belly.

 

“I just had an idea this morning, we’ll see where it goes”, the man replied and something about it made Bey and Jay grin. Novak didn’t get it, but when he turned his head he realized that Roger was looking at him. The sight knocked the air out of his lungs.

 

The chocolate brown of his eyes couldn’t have been any warmer, the love he saw seeming to crawl through Novak’s whole body. Roger leaned in to kiss him lightly and God did he want to be alone with him. It took a lot to not lift a hand and hold his head, to kiss him some more, and more, and more.

 

Soft chuckling reminded him that they weren’t alone, sadly, and Novak pulled away from Roger’s lips. He was surprised when the older man moved a bit, and then he was pulling Novak closer to him, until he could lean against his chest very comfortably.

 

“So”, Jay-Z said, obviously just as amused as his wife was. “Now that you’re comfortable, how ‘bout we consider the change in your schedule if that song ends up being good, which I actually do.”

 

“I’m optimistic, too”, Bey grinned. “But we’ll go from Roger reaching the finals. And if you do, I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you to finally win it. It’s time you get a home in Paris.”

 

Novak frowned and turned his head to look up at Roger. “Why haven’t you yet anyway? We’re here twice a year after all.”

 

“Because I haven’t won here yet and it annoys me”, the Swiss stated simply, like it explained it all.

 

“But you won in 2009.”

 

“Not _here_.”

 

The answer made Novak roll his eyes. “You have problems I’d like to borrow, seriously…” Beyoncé and Jay-Z laughed out loud and Roger chuckled amusedly as well.

 

“So I take it if you should win, you’ll buy a residence?” Bey smiled at Roger, who just laughed.

 

“If you want to get out of the hotel, why not buy one yourself?”

 

“Because we already have a house in France, just not here in Paris”, Jay explained, throwing his wife a side-glance. “So please, just get one here, and I’ll be a very happy man.”

 

“Thank God that’s all I am about – making you a happy man”, Roger said with the right amount of sarcasm in his voice, but Novak still kicked him against his shin lightly. Just for the fun of it.

 

“Ouch”, the Swiss whined exaggeratedly, making Jay laugh.

 

“Yeah, man, you can’t make everyone happy, that’s life”, he grinned while Novak felt Roger kiss the back of his neck gently, making it clear without words that he was just kidding.

 

“Anyway, if that song turns out any good, we need to think about a video for it”, Bey then said. “You won’t be able to promote it, except maybe one show before Las Vegas, and that won’t do.”

 

“I know, but I think if it all turns out the way I want it, it’s the closing song for my tour, and that’ll be enough promo”, Roger stated. “We can always think about a video in London during the World Tour Finals, but it’ll have to be a one or two day shoot, nothing more.”

  
“Well, just send me the song when it’s done, I’ll take a listen and see what it’s like”, Bey said, though the grin on her face made it clear she didn’t just want to listen to the song for promotional purposes.

 

“Yeah, right”, Roger laughed again. “But who knows, maybe you won’t be the first to hear the song this time.” Novak felt how he blushed _a second time_ when he felt a kiss pressed into his hair.

 

“Oh no, that’s not fair”, Beyoncé nothing but whined. “That is so not fair.”

 

The guys were laughing, Jay-Z gently patting her hand. “Hey, look at the bright side – you mostly are the first one to hear my songs, too.”

 

“That’s because I mostly feature on them or am in the room when you make them”, Bey pouted, but there was a smile underneath it that made it clear that she didn’t _really_ mind. “But whatever, I’m just going to remember this when I tell my daughter about her godfather and his horrible manners.”

 

“That’s harsh”, Roger grumbled, but Novak knew he was smiling without having to look.

 

The talking went on for another few hours and the young man simply loved every minute of it. He’d never thought spending an evening with Beyoncé and Jay-Z could be this relaxed and just so much fun. They were so incredibly down-to-earth and Novak could tell Roger was enjoying their shared time just as much.

 

Novak had never heard the Swiss joke around so much. It was a pleasure to see him like this, just himself and not holding anything back of the man he really was. His laughter was addicting and the Serb found himself unable to resist, never breaking body contact.

 

Their touches were growing in intimacy the more time passed, without becoming too daring. Roger’s arm had wandered onto his shoulder, the tips of his fingers gently stroking up and down Novak’s upper arm. His own hand had settled comfortably on a strong thigh and there seemed to never have been another place for his head than the older man’s shoulder.

 

It was late when Beyoncé and Jay-Z eventually decided to leave, the pregnant woman being very tired all of a sudden. This time around Novak didn’t mind at all when she smiled warmly at Roger, pulling him into a long hug. After they had also said good-bye to Novak just as heartily as the welcome had been the couple left and the two of them were finally alone again.

 

Roger closed the door and carefully locked it. He then turned around and the stunning smile on his lips made Novak swallow. “C’mere”, he said quietly and the young man didn’t need to be told twice.

 

His arms ended up around the Swiss’ neck the moment their lips met in a hot kiss, neither of them holding anything back. “God, I wanted to do this the whole evening”, Roger whispered against Novak’s lips before kissing him again and again. And again.

 

They picked up where they had left off before their visitors had arrived, and it was almost like no time had passed at all. Novak felt like they couldn’t possibly be close enough and he pulled at Roger’s clothing, wanting that barrier to be gone as soon as possible.

 

By the time he pushed Roger onto the bed, the Serb whispered: “I want to come to Vegas with you. It’s not like I have anywhere to be that week before the Finals.”

 

Gasping as Novak lowered himself onto him, Roger replied: “I’d love to have you with me.” Skillful fingers were at work on Novak’s pants as he spoke and within minutes they were both naked beneath the sheets. The Serb was still on top and it stayed that way as he made slow love to Roger, their eyes locked all the time.

 

As they lay in a tight embrace later on, his head on the Swiss’ chest and his arm tightly wrapped around his waist, Novak couldn’t help the smile on his face whenever he thought about joining Roger for his trip to L.V. “I’ve never been to Vegas”, he sometime said into the comfortable silence. “Well, not for something like a vacation at least.”

 

“You’ll love it”, Roger replied before pressing a gentle kiss into his hair. “Though we might make a stopover in New York.”

 

“I wouldn’t mind that at all”, Novak chuckled. “Isn’t it one of your favorite cities in the world?”

 

“It is my favorite, actually. I’m currently having a house built a bit outside of town, I can’t wait to spend more time there”, Roger admitted, his arm around Novak pulling him even closer. “It’s too bad we’ll have to make it back to Europe right after the show.”

 

“Yeah, that is too bad”, the young man agreed and glanced up at Roger with a smirk. “All the things we could do with a day or two in Las Vegas…” He knew he was playing with fire. And, naturally, a second later he was on his back, a strong body on top of him that was pressing him into the mattress.

 

His hands roamed over Roger’s back leisurely the moment he got the chance, drinking in the muscles underneath warm skin. Novak moaned quietly. “God, you feel so good.” He knew he was getting hard again and really, it shouldn’t be that easy just from the sensation of Roger on top of him, but it was.

 

“You may call me Roger if you’d like.” The Swiss’ smirk was unmistakable. He felt exactly what he was doing to Novak and he fully enjoyed it.

 

“What kind of show is the one in Vegas?” Novak asked, trying to ignore his growing desire. “It’s not part of your tour, is it?”

 

“Hmm”, Roger was still smirking as he lowered his head into the crook of his neck. “Well, it’s a preview show.” His tongue slowly moved up from his shoulder to his ear. “First half of the set is acoustic.” Novak groaned when Roger sucked on his lobe gently. “A bit more jazz than usual, it’s Vegas after all.” Another leisure glide of his tongue down Novak’s throat and to his collar bone where Roger sucked on the skin intently, surely leaving a mark. “It has almost no production.” Kissing his way down the Serb’s chest, his destination was crystal clear and Novak helplessly moaned in anticipation. “But I really love it.” Without further ado Roger took his cock into his mouth, making the younger man cry out in pleasure.

 

God was it good. It was so good it actually was fantastic. When he lay in the aftermath, Roger’s hot body pressed against his side, Novak couldn’t stop himself from gasping: “It’s almost as if you’ve been with a guy before.”

 

That made Roger burst out laughing and he replied: “Where on earth would you have heard that?” His eyes were soft when Novak looked at him, adding: “And it’s not like you aren’t too good to be doing this for the first time either.”

 

“What part, the sex or the love part?” Novak smirked, making Roger chuckle again.

 

“You tell me”, the older man demanded as he rolled them around, nudging Novak to climb on top of him like earlier that night.

 

“I’ve known that I’m gay since I was fourteen, so yeah, unsurprisingly, I’ve had sex with a man.” He was sitting on Roger’s thighs by now, just drinking in the sight in front of him, and God what a sight it was. “By the way, do you know that you’re damn beautiful?”

 

“That distraction won’t work”, Roger laughed. His hands lay warmly on Novak’s thighs, softly stroking up and down the skin. “So, what about the love part?”

 

The Serb leaned down for a long hot kiss. He wouldn’t admit that he was doing it to calm his nerves, but Roger seemed willing to overlook his little distraction. When Novak felt dizzy enough from their kiss, he pulled back and whispered: “You realize that I’m a bit younger than you are, don’t you?”

 

“That’s not an answer”, Roger remarked rightfully, but it still annoyed Novak. _Did he really have to fucking say it?_

 

He straightened up and put his hands beside Roger’s head on the bed, looking down at him. “What do you want me to say? You do realize that I was fucking sixteen when you won your first Grand Slam, right? I mean, there was no way coming up in the sport without your name around every corner. And when you’re sixteen, all that can be pretty impressive.”

 

“Idolization isn’t the same as love.” The older man lifted a hand and gently cupped his face, somehow – and Novak really had no idea how he could do it – making it a bit easier to find the words. God. Had he just admitted that he’d had a crush on Roger for the last nine years?

 

“No, it isn’t”, he finally sighed. “And I didn’t love you then. But feelings can change.”

 

“Thank God they can”, Roger whispered, “because I really didn’t like you the first few years.”

 

Novak laughed. “Yeah, I know that. It was hard not to notice.” He leaned down and kissed the Swiss softly. “I think I kind of hated you, too. God, I’ll never get back all the hours I spent watching you play on tape.”

 

“I can share that sentiment. I watched myself play for hours as well.” Roger grinned at him cheekily, making Novak smack him on the shoulder.

 

“Sassy”, he chided, but kissed Roger again anyway. “First time I heard you laugh I was so hard.” Now that finally seemed to take the older man aback, brown eyes staring at him for this confession while Novak went on. “Our 2007 US Open final? I really hated the ceremony, for the same reason. Still wasn’t in love with you back then, but I definitely had a crush on you. I only realized what I felt for you when I was happier for your Slams in 2009 than for my own.”

 

Roger’s eyes were wide as he just watched Novak, the brown depths so incredibly expressive. The young man didn’t look away though as he added: “I really hated having fallen for you. After all, everyone thought that you and Mirka were a couple, and so did I.”

 

“Yeah, well”, Roger seemed to have found back his voice, smiling up at him apologetically. “It’s not like we ever confirmed anything. Everyone just assumed, and I really couldn’t care less.”

 

“I know. It’s the same with me and Jelena. Anyway. Wanna know when I realized that I had fallen for you, head over heels, and couldn’t deny it anymore?”

 

“Tell me”, the Swiss’ voice was soft, his eyes curious. Novak thought he really could know the answer to that one.

 

“ _Run_ ”, he stated simply, hoping Roger would know what he meant. And indeed, a sign of recognition appeared in his eyes and Novak knew they were both thinking of that moment when their eyes had met.

 

“You remember that?”

 

“I couldn’t forget it.”

 

Their lips met in another kiss and this time Roger let himself be distracted. As Novak slowly rode him to completion, the older man intertwined their fingers, holding onto him. The Serb threw his head back when Roger sat up, the change of angle almost enough to send him over the edge.

 

Hot breath and gentle lips ghosted over the skin on his neck and Novak thought that life could get any better than this. Well, except for that moment when he came and Roger whispered into his ear: “I love you.”

 

An hour later and after another two rounds of love-making, Novak was on his side with Roger pressed tightly against him from behind. “You like that song?”

 

“ _Run_?” The older man hummed confirmatively, pressing little kisses on the back of his neck that made Novak smile. “I like you singing it”, he answered truthfully. “But I prefer your own songs.”

 

“Have a favorite?” Roger seemed honestly interested in his opinion and the warm feeling it created in Novak’s stomach was priceless.

 

“All of them is not an answer, I guess?” he joked, wanting to buy a bit time because really, he _did_ love them all. He preferred the ballads, unless it was live and Roger did some crazy insane dance choreography. _Survivor_ had its own spirit, but the best song definitely was… “ _The Beautiful Ones_ ”, Novak said after a minute. “Definitely. You don’t happen to do it on your tour?”

 

“Nope, sorry”, Roger chuckled. “It didn’t fit in the concept, but I’ll definitely do it someday.”

 

“And yours?” Novak turned his head to look at the man behind him. “What’s your favorite song?”

 

“Well, I’m thinking of one I haven’t even written or recorded yet”, Roger smirked, adding fuel to the fire of the possibility that he was about to do a song about Novak. Which he didn’t even want to think about, or he’d die from excitement. “So far, though, it’s a song I’ve never released.”

 

“Seriously? Why not?”

 

The man hesitated for a moment, then said: “Well, you heard it yesterday. _That’s Why You’re Beautiful_.”

 

“It’s a shame you haven’t put that one out yet.” He turned around carefully, their legs knotted comfortably as they shared a pillow just looking at each other.

 

“Maybe I will”, Roger smiled after a while. “It’s not like I wasn’t thinking about you sometimes when I wrote it.”

 

The words made him freeze and for a moment Novak didn’t know what to say. He remembered the beautiful song from the prior day. Just the thought that some of that lines were meant for him…

 

“I love you, I told you that, right?” Roger moved in and kissed him gently, tearing him from his thoughts. “You should get used to that, because I’m going to write about this. Sans name and social security number, of course, but this is part of what I am about.”

 

“I know”, Novak smiled, moving to lay his forehead against the older man’s. “And I love it. Just the thought that you’d really do something like that for me…”

 

“Oh, I’ll do a whole lot more things for you”, Roger smirked suggestively, but it was in his eyes how much that moment between them meant to him as well.

 

“I told you that I love you too, right?”

 

“You mentioned it once or twice.” The Swiss’ smile was making Novak’s heart jump in his chest. God, he loved this man so much.

 

Roger kissed him again, his hand moving over his side to his back where he stroked over his skin slowly, leaving a prickling feeling behind. Novak moaned when they broke apart, whispering with a hoarse voice: “God. How the hell does this feel so good?”

 

A soft laughter reached his ear and he opened his eyes to meet the dark brown ones of the man beside him. For a while they just looked at each other, silently studying the other’s features. After a few minutes Roger whispered, “This is how.”

 

“God, I love you”, Novak almost giggled joyfully and attacked the man for another kiss, making Roger laugh against his mouth. His arms winded around Novak’s waist as he moved to lay half-way on top of Roger, pulling him even closer. And Roger didn’t let go of him for the rest of the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are highly appreciated ;D


	6. Chapter 4

The next two days went by pretty uneventfully. Roger was in the studio with Ryan Tedder whenever he wasn’t on court. It were pretty boring times for Novak, considering he was mostly resting to not overdo his body any more than he had to.

 

They’d developed some kind of routine even within that short amount of time. Roger called when he was done in the studio for the day and Novak would invite him over, an offer the Swiss wouldn’t turn down. And the moment he made it through the door Novak would have him pressed against the wall, just to drag him to bed a minute later.

 

It was like they couldn’t get enough of each other. Something always pulled them back together and Roger cursed pretty badly the mornings he had to leave Novak alone in bed. And it wasn’t like this desire between them was losing any of its intenseness. Instead of subsiding, the more they touched, the more intimate they became, the stronger the longing became.

 

God, Novak had looked forward to flying to America with Roger so much, even if he knew the man would be mostly busy. His shoulder squashed every hope.

 

When Roger let himself in to his room on Friday night, he didn’t say a word. He just walked over to Novak and pulled him in his arms. They both knew he couldn’t travel with a shoulder like this, it’d be too much of a risk. Novak needed treatment and rest, especially the latter.

 

He was just shy of crying. The stress and strain of the season, and now the emotional turmoil of knowing Roger would be thousands of miles away in a couple of days, all was coming together. It was like Roger felt exactly what was going on and he responded in the most beautiful kind of way.

 

After sweet love making and long hours of gentle kissing and touching, Novak felt a thousand times better. Not good, really, because the disappointment was still there, but in Roger’s arms he could forget about it for a little while.

 

“You’ll call me?” His head was on Roger’s chest, hand resting where his heart was beating strongly beneath his touch.

 

“Of course I will”, the Swiss gave back, kissing him on the head. “I’m going to miss you.”

 

“You’ll be too busy for that”, Novak smiled sadly, “while I’ll be lying on a couch with a lots of time at my hands.”

 

“You want something to make that a little bit better?”

 

He lifted his head to look at Roger, who was smiling that gorgeous smile of his. “What are you talking about?”

 

“I’ve got something for you”, the man was still smiling as he rolled to the other end of the bed where his pants had ended up hours before. Novak was just opening his mouth when Roger pulled out a jewel case from his pockets, making the younger man freeze.

 

“You… you’re done?” He brought out when Roger was lying beside him again, holding the CD between them. Novak didn’t dare to reach for it.

 

“Well, I knew what I wanted the song to sound like, and Ryan _is_ a genius. We pretty much had the basics after two hours. Ryan just wanted to perfect the production.” Roger smiled as he moved for Novak to take it. “You can take it. It’s for you.”

 

After hesitating for another moment, the Serb reached for the case like it was made of fragile glass. He turned it around and was stunned when he saw the single’s [cover](http://www.dyfuse.com/files/images/promo%20shot.3_0.preview.jpg).

 

With the ocean in the background, the beautiful black-and-white shot showed Roger’s upper body wrapped in silken fabric, the strands of his hair wet like he was just coming out of the water. With one arm put around himself, his other hand placed at the side of his face, the Swiss had an vulnerable and insecure aura around him, making him look absolutely stunning.

 

“God, you’re so gorgeous”, Novak said and looked up at Roger, still not really believing that this wonderful man was in his bed right now. _God_.

 

“So you’ve said before.” Roger was still smiling, seemingly quite happy to watch Novak’s reaction. “Open it.”

 

And Novak did. This was obviously the finished single version of the jewel case. The CD itself was printed as well, a close-up of Roger’s face from the cover and on the lower part the track listing.

 

  1. Halo
  2. That’s Why You’re Beautiful



 

Novak chuckled. “So, you’re putting it out?”

 

“I’ll be doing it in Vegas, both of these songs actually”, Roger smiled. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time I release it.”

 

“When is it coming out?” Novak asked, once again taking in the beautiful cover. He just couldn’t get enough of looking at it.

 

“It’ll premiere on my website on Monday. Then I’ll perform it once before the tour, on _The Today Show_ on Tuesday during my stop in New York, and it’ll go to digital release right after that. A hard copy will only be available via my website, so feel honored you have one.”

 

“I do”, Novak smiled, glancing up at Roger. “Do I have to stand up to listen to this?”

 

“Well, yes”, the Swiss grinned. “A CD player is just so retro, I don’t even have one.”

 

“I thought you were growing up with that.” Novak regretted that the moment he’d said it. Snatching the CD out of his hand, Roger was tickling him so suddenly that the young man had no chance of getting away. He screamed, squirming desperately to get out of Roger’s reach, but the man was too quick to let that happen. “Okay”, he gasped, “okay, fine, yes, okay. I take that back. Holy fuck.”

 

“You were saying?” Roger grinned down at him. He’d ended up on top of him during their struggle. Still panting, Novak glared up at him, though he didn’t get to say something as Roger leaned down to kiss him gently.

 

“If you keep doing that, I’ll never get to the stereo”, Novak whispered against the man’s lips after a while of kissing, slowly catching his breath again.

 

“Maybe I don’t want you to.” Soft lips were on his neck now. Novak realized only then just how well Roger knew what to do to make him go insane, effectively distracting him even at the prospect of a song written for him. God, this shouldn’t be so easy.

 

“I hate you”, Novak mumbled and sank back against the pillows, pulling Roger on top of him who happily complied.

 

“No, you don’t”, the man chuckled, just to shut him up with a deep kiss a moment later. The CD beside them was forgotten for now as Roger made love to him again, taking Novak to heights he hadn’t experienced ever before.

 

At least the Swiss was so kind to put the CD in the stereo for him when the aftermath had worn off enough for Roger to move. After a long thank you kiss Novak finally pressed the play button of the remote control, his head on Roger’s chest again. When the song started playing his eyes fell closed and Novak just enjoyed the music.

 

He loved it. He more than loved it. The gentle piano, the big drums and of course Roger’s beautiful voice made the song so amazing, but it was the lyrics that really got to Novak.

 

_Remember those walls I built, well baby, they’re tumbling down/ And they didn’t even put up a fight/ They didn’t even make a sound/ I found a way to let you in/ But I never really had a doubt/ Standing in the light of your halo/ I got my angel now_

 

There were no words to describe the feelings inside him and Novak did the only thing he could think of. Rolling on top of Roger, he captured the man’s lips in a deep kiss as the last chorus started playing, and Novak kissed him until they were both breathless.

 

He didn’t let go of Roger for long and the man groaned loudly at his ongoing attack. They were still kissing when a guitar started playing, soon joined by a gentle beat and wonderful lyrics that suggested that the second song had started.

 

Breaking the kiss, the young Serb leaned his forehead against Roger’s. Their eyes opened and they looked at each other throughout the whole song, with Novak gently stroking through the man’s hair as he leaned on his elbows beside his body. Neither of them spoke a word, but they didn’t have to.

 

Neither of them had to say something. They knew what the other felt in that moment and Novak couldn’t put it in words how much that meant to him. By the time he spoke up again, the song had stopped playing long ago. “I love you so much”, Novak whispered, unable to not say it in that moment and he saw it in Roger’s eyes that he didn’t mind at all.

 

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that”, he gave back gently, lifting his head a little bit to make their noses touch.

 

“I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

 

Roger’s soft laughter made his heart jump in his chest. “Now that sounds very promising.” His muscles tensed and a moment later he’d rolled them around, easily pinning Novak beneath him . “Up for another round?” There was no way he didn’t feel the young man’s body respond to him and Roger laughed again, a sexy deep sound that sent chills down Novak’s spine. “I guess so.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

It was easier to get to stay in Paris until the end of the weekend than Novak had thought. Just a remark that he didn’t feel up to flying yet was enough to make Marian and his dad agree that he should stay until he felt better. Fair enough.

 

Of course Roger went on to win the title in Paris for the first time, he was playing better than he had all year. Novak loved watching him on the TV screen as he defeated Berdych to become the first man ever to reach the finals of all Masters, and then Tsonga to win the title.

 

Their last night together was special and Novak didn’t sleep at all until Roger had to leave at six in the morning. They alternated between sweet love-making and desperate fucking, both of them dreading their first days apart. When they’d be too tired to move a finger, the Swiss would fall into a light sleep while Novak stayed awake just to watch him breathe.

 

It didn’t matter that they’d see each other again in less than a week. Novak was still worried about his shoulder and it transferred on his relationship with Roger.

 

The man was wonderful. He held Novak when he needed it, giving him the feeling that it’d be fine even without words. And somehow Roger also managed to take away his sense of insecurity, like it was okay to feel worried about his shoulder and sad that they’d be apart for the next days.

 

He drank in the moments of their nights, wanting to memorize as much as he could to live off it until they could be together again. Seeing Roger asleep had a calming effect on him. To watch him breathe calmly, features relaxed and just _there_ , was a wonderful experience.

 

They shared a long kiss before Roger left, with nothing sexual about it at all. There was just a sense of melancholy that lingered behind on Novak’s lips after the door had closed. He slept until late afternoon when Marian knocked on the door to tell him they’d have to leave soon to get the flight to London.

 

There was no reason to go through the strain of two flights within such short time just to spend a few days at home in Serbia. His parents had invited him, but Novak simply hadn’t felt up for it and his shoulder was a good enough excuse.

 

Roger arrived in New York around noon after having taken off in Paris at 8 a.m., many thanks to the time shift. He traveled with his own jet so that he didn’t have to rely on commercial plane schedules. This way he had some time in New York before his appearance on _The Today Show_ and of course Roger intended on spending it in the studio.

 

They didn’t talk until it was late at night in London, except for a text from Roger to tell him that he’d landed safely. By the time Novak was all settled in his room, he was itching to call the older man and finally hear his voice again.

 

It didn’t ring more than twice and Roger seemed just as glad to be able to talk to him as the young Serb was. Apparently he was done in the studio and on his way to the hotel where Roger would sleep for one night before the little gig the next day and his immediate flight to Las Vegas.

 

They talked until Novak couldn’t suppress his yawn anymore and Roger told him to get some rest. The quietly whispered “I love you” at the end was almost too much to bear and after he’d hung up Novak was close to tears. He breathed deeply and blinked several times, not wanting to cry when he was happier than he could remember ever having felt before.

 

When he entered the Players Lounge on Tuesday morning, Novak was surprised to see Rafa sitting with fellow Spaniard David Ferrer and American Mardy Fish. The moment Rafa saw him he waved him over, seeming way too excited for just a normal day.

 

Then again it wasn’t just a normal day for him. His friend was over the moon and Novak couldn’t help but grin when he realized it was because of Roger’s newest song.

 

“He is crazy, releasing a new song so shortly before his tour”, Rafa went on rambling when Novak had taken a seat and from the look on David’s face he guessed he’d started quite a while ago. “But it is so good. Isn’t it? Novak, have you heard it, it’s such a beautiful song…”

  
“Yeah, I’ve heard it”, Novak squeezed in quickly when Rafa took a breath.

 

“… I cannot believe it, it’s so cool. It is…”

 

“RAFA!” David had enough, and his little outburst made the others laugh. “We get it, okay? You have a crush on Federer. I mean, no surprise there, but can you jerk off to it alone in your shower and not right here? My ears will start bleeding.”

 

Novak’s laughter kind of died in his throat, but no one noticed as Rafa smacked his friend on the upper arm.

 

“Me and Roger is friends, I am just being supportive”, the world number two chided, making Mardy and David laugh again. “Oh, shut up, you. How’s your shoulder, Novak?”

 

The Serb was a little startled for a moment, but Rafa was like that, jumping from one topic to the other in a split second. “Well, better. It’ll be fine”, he said and shrugged. “I’ll see how it goes.”

 

“Me isn’t hoping for too much, anyway”, Rafa sighed. “Same group as Roger. Oh, how I hate playing him indoors…”

 

Novak, David and Mardy simultaneously grunted.

 

“Get a grip, man”, David said. “You’re the only one on this table with a positive head-to-head.” He thought for a moment. “You’re actually one of the very few players with a positive head-to-head against Roger altogether.”

 

“Novak’s not that bad against him either”, Rafa tried to defend himself, but Novak snorted dismissively.

 

“He kicked my ass at the French and you know it. Seriously, man, shut up about your record against Roger, you’re not going to win this argument.”

 

“Wise words”, Mardy agreed and Rafa actually was silent for a moment. It didn’t last long, though.

 

“You hear about Roger’s tour?” he asked next, making David lift an eye brow.

 

“You kidding? You weren’t talking about anything else for days. It’s like you…”

 

“No no, I is meaning the sales. I was hearing the tickets were sold very quickly, actually I is thinking Roger is breaking some record or something. Every ticket so far is sold out.”

 

Now that got Novak to look up at the Spaniard. “Really? All the tickets for his European leg are sold out? The tickets were out only Friday.”

  
“Yes yes, and that is when they were already sold out”, Rafa’s excitement was back in overload. “Within two hours, I think. Is crazy, no?”

 

“But I think it’s just a rumor so far”, Mardy jumped in. “I don’t think it’s official yet, is it?”

 

“No”, Rafa admitted. “But me is thinking that it is true. Everyone is liking Roger and is excited for a tour.”

 

“Not all, and maybe not quite as excited as you are”, David remarked, his words having a bitter aftertaste considering the hate Roger had received for coming out.

 

What Novak couldn’t put his head around, though, were the ticket sales. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were as fantastic as Rafa suggested, but why hadn’t Roger said something to him? Surely he must know, there was no way he didn’t know the exact numbers of the tickets he’d already sold.

 

Then again, the topic hadn’t even come up. It wasn’t like Roger to brag about something like this, and these last days Novak had had other things on his mind like his bad shoulder.

 

“… Novak? You okay?”

 

“Huh?” The Serb turned his head to look at Rafa, who was returning his gaze quizzically. “Uh, yes, I’m alright. Just tired.”

 

“If you is saying so.” And on went Rafa with another rant about _Halo_ , Roger’s tour, managing a swift swing to the World Tour Finals and somehow ending up at women’s tennis.

 

Novak couldn’t say that he didn’t appreciate the distraction. His only task for this day was to rest and this way he at least had some company. At noon they turned on the TV to watch _The Today Show_ , wanting to catch Roger’s performance live, though they had to wait another two hours until the man finally appeared on the show.

 

After an advert break, _Sweet Dreams_ was played in the background, causing their talking to die down immediately and then Kathie Lee-Gifford, the moderator, introduced Roger. “He already was a mega superstar as one of the world’s best tennis players, but now he’s also considered a brilliant songwriter and of course an amazing singer. As you all surely know by now, I’m talking about Roger Federer. Good morning, Roger, so great to have you here.”

 

The camera rotated and revealed the Swiss who was standing beside Kathie. It was always something different, seeing Roger on TV as in the real world. His hair was on point, the brown strands falling effortlessly across his forehead.

 

Novak noticed the tight black jeans, the gray print shirt with a guitar on it and the leather jacket with rivets on the shoulder that gave Roger’s style something edgy, almost like a rock star. It was beyond sexy. _God._

 

“Good morning”, the man smiled. “It’s great to be here.”

 

“So let’s see, you have a world tour coming up, is that right?”

 

“Yes, it is. I am very excited about it.”

 

“And it’s starting in Europe, and then it’ll follow the tennis tour for the next few months. Aren’t you afraid that it might get a bit too much, the tennis tour and a world tour at the same time?”

 

“Well, it took a lot of thorough planning in advance to make sure it’s not going to get too much for me, but I just really wanted to finally get on a tour. It’s why I make music in the first place, to get out there and perform. It’s what I love most.”

 

“We’re recording this show in New York. I heard it’s one of your favorite places?”

 

“It is my favorite place in the world”, Roger laughed. “If it were possible I would have loved to start my tour here, but with the tennis tour it had to start in Europe.”

 

“But the Northern American leg of your tour will kick of here, won’t it?”

 

“Yes, it will and I’m so very excited about that. I just love the city, the spirit and the people that live here. It’s a very special place in the world.”

 

“Tell us about your tour, Roger.”

 

“Well, I have the amazing Thierry Mugler as a costume designer, and he actually did about 72 costumes for my show.”

 

“Wow.”

 

“Yes. He did all of the costumes for my amazing all-female band, background singers and all my dancers. So, it’s a huge production, it’s very theatrical. Of course I’m doing most of my singles, a few covers of songs that I really love.”

 

“What were your inspirations for the tour?”

 

“Every time I travel, and I travel a lot”, Roger laughed, “I keep learning things and I put all these influences into my show.”

 

“So, your record company announced a few minutes ago that the tickets to your European leg were sold out within two hours, which is a record, I think. What do you think about that?”

 

“Oh God, I actually don’t know what I should think about that. It’s just amazing and I’m so overwhelmed. I mean, I never expected any of this to happen. To have sold-out shows is an amazing honor and I really appreciate that this is happening to me. I just can’t really believe it all yet.”

 

“We agree with you, it’s amazing to finally see you on tour.”

 

“Thank you so much.”

 

“Also amazing is your new song. What’s it called?”

 

“It’s called _Halo_.”

 

“What made you put out a song so shortly before your tour?”

 

“Well, the idea just came to me and I had to make this song. I actually worked with Ryan Tedder on this one, and I really love the result.”

 

“Are you going to take this one on tour with you?”

 

“Definitely. I just love this so much, and it’s a bit like that last piece of the puzzle that was missing. It really complements the show.”

 

“One last question. You’re doing a show in Las Vegas tomorrow, a preview show, right?”

 

“Yes. It’s not exactly a part of the world tour, because it’s much more laid back. It’s more acoustic, with less production and no costume changes. It’s just about the songs, a glimpse of what awaits people at the tour.”

 

“Thank you so much for the interview, Roger.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Roger Federer with his new single _Halo_.” 

 

It was a [beautiful performance](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWUBeGgmAO0), simple and toned down. There was no choreography, just Roger feeling the song and delivering a stunning vocal. Novak was thankful that his companions were fixated on the scene like him, no one noticing his little smiles.

 

After it was over and Rafa was completely sure Roger would not do an encore, his ranting reached new heights and Novak soon said goodbye. He felt a bit tired and it wasn’t like he had any plans for the rest of the day. He’d get a nap before Roger would call him when he’d arrived in L.V.

 

~~~****~~~

 

“Why didn’t you tell me your tour sold out within two hours?”

 

Novak was on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as he held his phone to his ear. It was late in London, almost midnight, but Roger hadn’t been able to call him sooner. He’d been working hard for the preview show.

 

He heard Roger sigh. As far as he knew the Swiss was on a break from rehearsals, though Novak could still hear instruments playing in the distant background. Apparently it was still a lot of work until the show was finished. “Well, just the European leg, but I guess that’s not what you’re talking about.”

 

“Not really”, Novak smiled softly. “You surely knew before you came over on Friday.”

 

“Jay called me, yes, but it’s not like there weren’t more important things that night.” Roger’s voice was soft and it made the young man feel incredibly honored to know that he thought Novak was more important than anything else.

 

“I know, and I appreciate that. I just… You could have talked to me about it. I want you to know that.”

 

“I know, Nole.” He could almost hear Roger smile via the phone. “Look, it’s not like I avoided talking about it, it just didn’t come up and I still can’t really believe it, not even now. It’s just so much to take in.”

 

“I can imagine.” They were silent for a moment before Novak asked: “How’s it going with your show?”

 

“Oh God, don’t even go there”, Roger groaned, but laughed a moment later. “It’s crazy, but I really love it. I’ll breathe a lot easier when everything’s ready and the show can start.”

 

“I thought you knew what it was going to be like.”

 

“And I did, we just haven’t done any rehearsal yet because of lack of time. We’re still working on the lights, the timing and all the little things that have me going crazy.”

 

Novak laughed. “I didn’t even know Mr. Cool knows how to get crazy.”

 

“Shut up, you”, Roger grumbled, but the amusement was all in his voice. They went on with the banter for a while, but eventually the Swiss got serious again. “Listen, I think I have to go.”

 

“I won’t hear from you until you’re in London, will I?” Novak asked, though he was almost certain as to what the answer would be.

 

“I’m afraid so, babe”, Roger sighed again. “I’m not going to wake you when I’m on my way to the jet, and after that I just cannot call you.”

 

To hear the older man call him _babe_ actually made the butterflies in Novak’s stomach do things that he hadn’t thought were possible. “When will you be here?” He knew all the longing he was feeling was in his voice, but he didn’t care.

 

Roger swallowed loud enough for him to hear, silent for a few seconds before he answered. “As soon as I can, okay? Thursday evening, but it might be late. I’ll let you know when I know.”

 

“God, I love you.” Novak closed his eyes, for a moment overwhelmed by his emotions. “Couldn’t you have done that freaking preview show in London?”

 

That made Roger laugh, though he didn’t miss the quiet choking sound at the end. “Well, Vegas is Vegas. And I couldn’t know that we’d finally get a grip and that I’d have something to miss so badly when I’d be in America.”

 

Novak lowered the phone for a moment and pressed his hand over his mouth. _Fuck._ He didn’t want to cry, but for heaven’s sakes, Roger wasn’t making it easy for him. When he felt somewhat like he had himself under control again, he said quietly into the speaker: “I’m going to hang up on you now, or this might get teary.”

 

Roger chuckled softly. “I love you, too. Get some rest, and we’ll see each other soon.”

 

“That’s two days too many”, Novak sighed heavily. “Good luck for your rehearsals, though, and have fun at the show. Enjoy it.”

 

“I will.” A moment of silence followed before Roger said: “You don’t mind me calling you babe, do you?”

 

That actually made Novak burst out laughing and he suspected that was exactly what Roger had aimed for. Count on the man for cheering him up. “No, I don’t”, he replied. “Not at all. Love you and see you soon, Roger.”

 

“Bye, Nole. Love you, too.”

 

 


	7. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the preview show in Las Vegas, Roger arrives in London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a description of Roger's first full-length show in here, the preview show at Wynn, Las Vegas to be exact. I once again took inspiration from a concert by Beyoncé, "I Am... Yours: An Intimate Performance at Wynn Las Vegas", a performance from August 2, 2009. Besides that there's also a performance by Leona Lewis on the X-Factor in 2011.  
> I put up several videos as an opportunity for you to watch exactly what I'm talking about, but I don't know if they're going to work in every state. Since I'm from Germany and they work here (it is a miracle) I'm hopeful, though.

**November 17, 2011. London, Great Britain**

 

It was Thursday evening and Novak’s shoulder felt better, but still not great. For sure, it wasn’t as bad as the last couple of days, but he knew his chances of winning the World Tour Finals were slim. Especially considering the perfect indoor player that Roger was.

 

Roger. God, he was missing the man so much. It was almost unbearable and on top of that, all Novak had done these last few days was rest. Even his coach didn’t see much sense in him practicing for the tournament, the chance of making things worse was too big to be worth the try.

 

And so Novak was mostly in his hotel room, bored and grumpy and just anything but his usual joyful self. He alternately watched TV and movies, though he shifted to his laptop after Roger’s concert was over to check out all videos and reviews he could find.

 

The [show ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bhlFRTsK14)seemed to have been very good and Novak loved all the praise he found. It had been the first time Roger had done a real show and from what the critics were writing about it, he really had delivered an astonishing performance. The show received great ratings, three-and-a-half stars out of four or four out of five at minimum.

 

From what Novak had read the show had been divided in two parts. First up had been an acoustic set that had included renditions of _[Hello](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7jWSm3Y7mA)_ , _[Irreplaceable](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKxrCs3P0TA)_ , [_Scared of Lonely_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kz3HbwcEmjA&list=UULLdpkY9F0Gcv7vnNKHMhwA&index=7), _Satellites_ and just like Roger had promised, [_Halo_ ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RU1iN7PeRfk)and [_That’s Why You’re Beautiful_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bZsm8B7v58).

 

The ballad version of _[Sweet Dreams](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QhU3ILzQaY)_ had appeared on YouTube only hours after the show. The camera had shaken a lot, probably made with a cell phone, but the sound had been crystal clear and Novak had listened to it over and over again.

 

Critical acclaim had also gone to [_If You Were A Boy_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rl1vb78UYV4), mostly because of the amazing Alanis Morissette song _You Oughta Know_ that Roger had incorporated into his own powerful song. Roger had ended the first set with an emotional performance of [_Resentment_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAVuHIraKxM), followed by a jazz medley in the style of Ella Fitzgerald right before his own song _[Déjà Vu](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-2dEck2xvE)_.

 

The second set had been much more interesting, though. Roger had done some kind of story-telling, from his early years as a child to where he was now. He’d started with a mention of The Jackson Five and how Michael Jackson had been one of his biggest inspirations. His cover of _[I Wanna Be Where You Are](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTWaU15taTo)_ was simply gorgeous, Novak couldn’t put it any differently.

 

Next up had been a [Destiny’s Child](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t50QXS9I0Fs) medley, including most of the band’s hits like _No, No, No_ , _Bug A Boo_ , _Say My Name_ and _Lose My Breath_ , meant to highlight the influence Roger had taken from Beyoncé. He’d then done the beginning of _Run_ as a reference to his first appearance on a stage, seamlessly giving way to the Nine Inch Nails song _[Hurt](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izJ4sKkqzqw)_. It was the first time Roger had done this one live and _God_ was it beautiful to listen to. 

 

His biggest hits had followed, [_Crazy In Love_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_9V2m7l-AU&playnext=1&list=PL1C2CEB1C30213D68&feature=results_main), [_Single Guys_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZQ7r3Eow4Y&list=UULLdpkY9F0Gcv7vnNKHMhwA&index=6) and of course [_Survivor_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvKylQ_ehRI), with Roger describing the latter as an especially defining song for him. After that [_Naughty Boy_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tz9-nK363AU), [_Get Me Bodied_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qqJDiAvMwU) and finally _Ego_ , all of which meant as a representation of the more daring side of Roger’s second full length studio album.

 

Novak wished he had a chance to watch the whole concert and he cursed his shoulder for the thousandth time that week. He was thinking about Roger so much that it seemed like the time was standing still, wishing they could have flown to Las Vegas together.

 

Admittedly, he’d seriously thought that Thursday would never come, but somehow it had happened. And when Rafa had called him to ask if he wanted to come down to hang out in the lobby with him, David and Andy, Novak had seen no reason to say no. This way the rest of the time would pass much quicker, and he could see Roger arrive.

 

He really liked his co-players, but Novak knew that he wasn’t exactly great company that evening. His mind was busy imagining what it would be like to see Roger again, to finally feel him again. Luckily for him, though, everyone thought it was because of his sore shoulder and Novak let them think that.

 

Seeing Roger arrive was a whole new experience. The paparazzi must have awaited the Swiss’ arrival at the airport and then had followed him all the way to the hotel – there was simply no other explanation for the madness that was the scene in front of the building.

 

Novak and the others watched silently as a dark limousine stopped before the entrance door, almost immediately surrounded by dozens of paparazzi. When the door opened, Dan stepped out and right behind him was probably Roger, though one couldn’t tell because of the jacket over his head.

 

It was insane. The two men were joined by hotel stuff and quickly made their way into the safeness of the hotel, the doors being shut the moment Roger had made his way inside. Novak watched with a fluttering heart as the man pulled off the jacket, stunning him and probably their peers as well.

 

His hair looked different, not curly anymore but completely straight with an awesome cut. It seemed to be longer than last time he’d seen him, though Novak doubted that Roger would ever even consider hair extensions. The Swiss now shook his head abruptly, making the strands fly around and Novak swallowed involuntarily. Now _that_ was sexy.

 

“You okay?” Dan asked with a disapproving glance at the entrance door. “This is so crazy. I mean, if you were known for stripping in front of hotels, so be it, but this…”

  
“Dan, seriously, I don’t give a fuck.” To say that Roger sounded tired would be the understatement of the year. Novak watched as the Swiss leaned heavily against the reception desk. He didn’t notice his peers since his back was turned to them, and even if not, Roger seemed fairly dead to the world.

 

The receptionist was at work to check Roger in. While he waited, the man leaned his elbows on the counter, placing his head in his hands. Dan was looking at him with worry in his eyes, Novak could see that even from afar.

 

“You know, even you can’t go with only three hours of sleep in over two days. You look like crap”, Dan remarked loud enough for them to hear. “You’re not going to fall asleep right here, are you?”

 

“Why, ya wanna take me to bed?”

 

Dan laughed. “Like hell. You could have slept on the plane, but no, you had to work.”

 

“I did sleep.”

 

“Did not.”

 

“How do you want to know that?” Roger looked up at his bodyguard, who was smirking at him.

 

“Even you can’t sleep while listening to Linkin Park and besides, you worked all the time.”

 

“Again, how do you want to know, you slept yourself.”

 

“I can do multi-tasking.”

 

“Now that sounds fucking interesting”, Roger grumbled, making Dan laugh again.

 

“Seriously, you get grumpy when overtired. Next thing on the list would be a bottle of real good ol’ whiskey, huh?”

 

Now _that_ was making Roger groan in agony. “Fuck you, Dan, I mean it, fuck you. Just fuck you.”

 

Before his bodyguard could add anything, the receptionist quickly put a paper in front of Roger to sign, probably wanting to prevent anything bloody to happen during her shift. She handed over the key cards and wished Roger a great stay at the hotel. The man actually managed a ‘Thank You’ before walking past Dan without another word, causing his bodyguard to chuckle again.

 

“If you’re still thinking about that whiskey, just forget it for you own sake”, Dan called after him and Roger turned around to reply something. It was that moment that his eyes finally met Novak’s. For a moment the Swiss seemed to have forgotten what he’d wanted to say and Novak really, _really_ wanted to jump up, run over and kiss the life out of him right then. 

 

He was looking so damn sexy, with his hair, the simple jeans and black hoody, but it was his bedroom eyes that got Novak even harder than the cursing from before had. _Freaking hell_. How would this end if he was already getting hard from just seeing the man and hearing him talk?

 

“You know me, Dan”, Roger said, his eyes finally leaving Novak’s and looking back at his bodyguard. “It’s either sex or whiskey for me.”

 

 _Bastard_. There was no way the Swiss wasn’t doing this on purpose and while Dan snorted and Rafa and Andy chuckled amusedly, Novak tried to swallow around the lump in his throat.

 

“Yeah, whatever”, Dan chuckled. “Your fault you’re on a no-alcohol rule for your tour. Now, get out of here, I’ll take care of your stuff.”

 

“Sometimes I remember why I like and hired you.” With a last smirk Roger disappeared, not bothering with the elevator as he just took the stairs. When the door had fallen closed behind him, Novak was still staring at it.

 

“Well”, Andy beside him said sagaciously. “At least now we know that the mighty Roger Federer does know very well how to curse. I’d even say he’s pretty good at it.”

 

Rafa chuckled again and Novak made himself join in. Keeping silent was going to make him look suspicious, but five minutes later he said goodbye nonetheless. It was late after all, so he got away easily.

 

As fate wanted it he ended up in one elevator with Dan and the doorman who was carrying Roger’s luggage. Novak wasn’t sure what to do, but it proved he didn’t even have to. He felt something at his hand and a moment he was holding a second key card. The doors to his floor opened and when he glanced at Dan right before stepping out, Novak caught the smirk on the man’s face, nodding slightly when their eyes met.

 

He was just entering his room when his cell ringed, announcing an incoming text. Novak placed the two key cards on the table beside the entrance door as he got his phone out of his jeans.

 

_I’m sorry, but I need to sleep, the jet lag’s killing me. Can’t wait to see you again. Tomorrow? Room 1007. Love you, and don’t lose that key card ;)_

 

Novak laughed quietly as he stripped to get to bed. So it had all been a plan of Roger’s to get the key card to the young Serb. He wondered if Dan would have come over to his room if they hadn’t caught the same elevator, but in the end he didn’t care.

 

All he cared about was having seen Roger again, finally, and Novak was quick to turn off the lights, after all he had plans for the next day.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Roger woke early the next morning. He groaned when he realized that he’d fallen asleep in his clothes from the prior day, though he couldn’t exactly bring himself to mind. Having worked on the rough shooting from his preview show almost the whole flight, the tiredness had finally caught up with him the moment he’d stumbled into his room.

 

If he hadn’t slept for nine hours Roger would be really pissed that he’d woken up at all, at 7 a.m. for that matter. He went to the bathroom and after using the head he splashed some water in his face, still not bothering with undressing. All he wanted was to get back to bed for some more hours of sleep.

 

He didn’t think about that anymore when he found himself pressed against a wall almost the same moment he’d stepped out of the bath. He had no idea where the man had come from, but he didn’t care. It was still dark at this early hour, but Roger had no problems finding Novak’s lips. His hands wandered to the Serb’s ass, roughly pulling him closer.

 

Novak couldn’t hold back the groans. They frantically pulled at every piece of each other’s clothing they got a hold of as they stumbled back into the bedroom. A phone beeped somewhere, but they didn’t hear it.

 

The blood was rushing in Novak’s ears as he fell onto the bed, grunting loudly when Roger ended up on top of him. Their movements were hectic and desperate as they tried to get closer and closer to the other. Only when Roger was fully sheathed in Novak’s tight heat they did finally keep still for a moment.

 

Novak grunted, feeling the pain of having Roger inside him after several days without sex, but he didn’t care. “Move”, he gasped, trying to urge the older man to start thrusting, but he was pinned down onto the mattress.

 

“I’m not going to rush this”, a dark husky voice whispered into his ear, making Novak shiver. “We have all the time in the world, and I won’t hurt you.”

 

“I want it”, Novak almost whimpered. “Please. I want to feel you, now. I want…”

 

Roger groaned loudly and hid his face in the crook of his neck as he started moving with long deliberate thrusts, trying to give Novak what he wanted without causing him too much pain. The first thrust already grazed his prostate and Novak screamed out, unable to hold back.

 

Their pace quickly picked up, though, and Roger bit his lip to suppress his own moans, wanting to hear every brilliant sound that left Novak’s throat. Nails were digging into his back, the young man’s legs holding his waist tightly and he simply loved every moment of it.

 

Neither of them lasted long. Roger had to struggle to not just break down on top of Novak afterwards, and though he didn’t want to crush him, he much less wanted to pull out of him just yet. The Serb made the decision for them both as he just pulled Roger down, arms winding around his body.

 

They lay like that for minutes, trying to catch their breaths and simply holding onto each other. When Roger’s limbs finally didn’t feel like jelly anymore, he gently pulled out of Novak, kissing him softly when the sensation made him grunt. After discarding the condom he snuggled up to the younger man’s side, his head on Novak’s chest.

 

“I think welcome sex just climbed on my list of favorite kinds of sex”, Roger said into the silence, smiling happily when he heard the laugh that he loved so much.

 

“What kinds of sex are on your list?” Novak asked, still sounding out of breath. His arm moved around Roger and the tips of his fingers gently stroked over his side.

 

“Uhm, let’s see… Drunk sex, high sex, though that’s off, obviously. Make-up sex, of course. Angry sex, jealous sex – I really like that one -, good-bye and welcome sex. And that would make just a normal Saturday.”

 

Novak laughed again, a sound Roger wouldn’t mind hearing much more often. “God, I love you.” And that, of course. “What about you and that whiskey?”

 

“Oh, don’t even start”, Roger sighed. “I love whiskey. I love it very, very much, but for my tour I decided to go all sober and vegetarian. I swear to God, the moment the tour’s done, I’ll get so drunk.”

 

“Tell me and I’ll be there.” Roger could almost hear the Serb’s smirk. “Drunk sex is definitely on my list, too.”

 

He chuckled amusedly as he cuddled up more to Novak. He was enjoying the man’s closeness even more than he’d thought when he’d anticipated this moment the last few days. They were silent for a while, both of them relishing the sensation of finally being together again.

 

God. If they were feeling like this after only a few days apart, what would be if they couldn’t see each other for weeks?

 

Not wanting to think about that now Roger adjusted his position a bit, with the full intention of falling asleep again. Novak, though, seemed to have other plans.

 

Before he knew it Roger was on his back, biting back a moan when the young man moved to lie on top of him. He could feel Novak’s complete body length against his, the sensation enough to make Roger hard again, no matter that he was just shy of falling asleep.

 

“You still jetlagged?” Novak whispered into Roger’s ear, feeling exactly the shiver it evoked.

 

“Hmm”, Roger hummed, deciding that, if the Serb wanted to take this further, he’d just have to do most of the work. “If I should fall asleep on you, just have your way with me. I’m fine with it.” Novak laughed, but it wasn’t lost to the older man that his body seemed very delighted by the idea. Making a little exception, Roger turned his head to lick over the shell of Novak’s ear, whispering: “Though you might hurry up a bit, then we could both enjoy this.”

 

Roger proved to be unable to just lie there and let Novak do all the work. His desire to touch the man, to feel his skin beneath his fingers while he was fucking Roger to the heavens was just too strong to withstand. He wasn’t usually the screaming kind of guy, but God did it feel good and he didn’t give a damn about being too vocal.

 

The little pieces of Serbian whispered into his ear, combined with Novak’s voice that was hoarse from arousal, was almost too much. Roger knew that Novak thought that he didn’t understand, but he did and his heart was tight with emotions.

 

When he came Roger choked out ‘I love you’, though he wasn’t sure Novak even heard it, but it didn’t matter. They held onto each other and eventually drifted off to sleep, exhausted and satisfied in the best way possible.

 

This time it was Roger who awoke to the knowledge of having been watched sleeping, but he didn’t mind at all. Novak’s amazing hazel green eyes were a beautiful sight to wake up to, a million times better than an empty hotel room.

 

“I missed you so much”, the Serb said quietly and reached out to caress Roger’s cheek, the soft touch causing him to close his eyes again.

 

“I missed you, too.” A moment later Roger felt soft lips on his in the gentlest kind of kiss he could imagine. He sighed happily.

 

“I like your hair, by the way”, Novak whispered hoarsely. “It’s sexy.”

 

“You think?” Roger couldn’t help the smirk on his lips, knowing exactly what it did to Novak.

 

“Yeah.” There was a hint of breathlessness even in that one word and the Swiss didn’t think twice as he moved to lie on top of Novak. “God”, the man moaned quietly, his hands gliding over Roger’s back. “Do you have any idea of how good you feel?”

 

“Even only half as good as you do would already be amazing”, Roger whispered and then kissed Novak deeply, enjoying the little moans he got way too much. “I love you, you know that?”

 

“I like you reminding me”, Novak smiled up at him and Roger thought that he had never seen the man happier than in this moment. He swallowed, unable to remember if there’d ever been a time when _he_ had felt happier. Probably not, judging by the flutter of his heart when Novak reached up to kiss him again, whispering back the three words of magic.

 

They kissed for a while before the young Serb spoke up again. “You know, that evening in Basel when you said you never were alone. To be honest, I’m surprised to catch you alone so often.”

 

Roger chuckled. “Well, Dan wanted to join us for the time being, but I thought you’d like me to decline.”

 

“Damn right”, Novak almost grumbled, his hands gliding up to frame Roger’s face. “I don’t even want to think about sharing you with anyone.”

 

“So no chance of a threesome, uh?” _That_ had Novak stare up at him disbelievingly and Roger laughed out loud, grinning amusedly: “Just kidding.”

 

“Man, don’t do that”, the Serb sighed. “You can’t just have everyone including me believe you’re a saint, and then say things like that.” He hesitated for a moment. “Wait. Don’t tell me you…”

 

Roger lifted a meaningful eyebrow and Novak was actually speechless. The older man eventually said: “Just twice.”

 

“ _Just_? That’s exactly two times more than me. _God_. You’re no saint at all, huh?”

 

“I never said that.” Roger smiled softly down at him. “I drink, from time to time, I smoke a cigar exactly once every year, and God do I love sex. The only thing I love more is love, mostly because that’s making the sex even better.”

 

That made Novak chuckle. “I always knew you’re not all perfect. Even if your hair suggests something else.”

 

“Hey”, Roger grumbled and smacked the young man on the shoulder. “That’s naughty.”

 

“So what?” The Serb smirked and a moment later Roger was on his back, groaning loudly as Novak attacked his mouth in a fierce kiss. They kissed until they had to break apart to breathe properly. Novak began moving on top of him, sliding their hard cocks together as he whispered into Roger’s ear: “What constellation?”

 

“You really wanna know?” The Swiss bit back a moan. It really shouldn’t be this hot, talking to Novak about his threesomes. “My first one, a woman and a man”, he said as his hands moved down his lover’s back. He teased him for a while before letting a finger slip into tight heat, soon followed by a second and third one.

 

“And the second?” Novak’s eyes were closed and Roger could only stare at him, taking in the pleasure that was written all over his face.

 

“Get up here first.” His fingers disappeared, leaving Novak to whimper as Roger nudged him to move up and onto his cock. The impatience was getting too much and he thrust up when Novak was only halfway down, causing the Serb to cry out.

 

Despite their position it was Roger who set the pace, pushing his hips up again and again. Novak leaned on his arms beside the older man’s shoulders, his head hanging low and his eyes closed as he moaned at each and every thrust into him.

 

There was no way he could last much longer. The ecstasy Roger saw on Novak’s face was already enough to almost make him come, but the sounds, a mix of whimpers and groans and grunts, were sure to send him over the edge much sooner than he usually would.

 

Novak was right there with him, just to break down onto his chest a moment later. Roger wrapped his arms around him and held him close, both of them desperately sucking air into their lungs. He was still inside the young man and Roger pushed his hips up a bit, not wanting to lose the contact.

 

It seemed to take an eternity before his breathing evened out. When it did, Roger mumbled quietly: “Second one with two men, but I can’t even tell you how much I prefer this. God.”

 

“I’m glad”, Novak chuckled and lifted his head to kiss him lovingly. It seemed too wearisome, though, since he lay down on Roger’s chest right again. “Wow.”

 

“Yeah, wow.” Roger breathed in deeply, loving the scent of sex mixed with what was just purely Novak. “I think you’ll like to hear that I’m all yours next week. Except for our matches, of course.”

 

That got his young lover to lift his head and look at him again, the joy in his eyes making it impossible for Roger not to smile. God, he loved this man. “Really?”

 

“Yeah. I’m doing the music video for _Halo_ tomorrow, and after that I’ll be horribly bored with all my free time.”

 

“No rehearsals?”

 

“All done.”

 

“So, just the two of us, huh?” The tone in Novak’s voice was incredibly sexy, deep and hoarse.

 

“I think I’m loving that even more when you say it like that.” Roger just wanted to reach up and kiss him again, but Novak was faster. Not that he really minded. “Hmm…”

 

Really, this shouldn’t feel so good. He was thirty, after all, but his body seemed to ignore that fact effectively, making Novak groan as Roger hardened again, still inside him. The Serb mumbled breathlessly: “You might want to change that condom.”

 

With an amused chuckle Roger rolled them over, not even a minute later reclaiming his place between Novak’s legs. “You know”, he said as he glided into the man, loving the little mewling noises he got. “If not for our matches, I think we might just as well stay in bed for the whole week.”

 

“You think?” Novak gasped, the desire in his eyes making them look almost black. He smirked suggestively. “I don’t know if I can keep going at this pace, though.”

 

“You’re doing just fine”, Roger grinned and leaned down to involve his lover in a slow burning kiss. _His lover_. God, he loved the sound of that. “I love you.”

 

“Is that part of your sex talk?” Novak laughed breathlessly and nudged the Swiss in his side gently. “And could you start moving sometime soon? I’m dying here.”

 

“At least it’ll be a great death”, Roger couldn’t help but chuckle, though he didn’t think of moving just yet. “And no sex talk, just the truth. Though we might try that one day.”

 

“Great idea.” Novak groaned, his legs grabbing Roger around his waist impatiently. “For heaven’s sakes, fuck me already.”

 

“I love seeing you like this.” He leaned down to kiss Novak softly. “I love feeling you like this.”

 

“I love this, too. So much even that I’d really love for you to take this further.” The young Serb groaned desperately. “God, I can’t take this much longer. _Move_.”

 

Roger slowly made love to Novak. It was weird, feeling so good while taking the man higher and higher, trying different ankles until he got the sounds that he’d already grown addicted to. He’d done this so often before, but something just felt different. Roger knew it was for his feelings, the fact that Novak meant the world to him.

 

There was something raw about his love to Novak. Maybe it was the knowledge that he was the man’s first real love. Roger couldn’t deny how much that meant to him, but it wasn’t that he really got off on that. Novak was young. It wasn’t uncommon considering his life style that he hadn’t found love yet.

 

For now, all the Swiss really knew was that he _wanted_ this. He really, really wanted this relationship with Novak and Roger swore to himself that he’d do anything to make it work.

 

 


	8. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The WTF 2011 photo shooting, the music video for Halo and some secrets are coming up, too.

**November 18, 2011. London, England**

 

“You and Roger is not getting along so good. I am just wondering why that is, that’s all. Do you hate him?”

 

That afternoon, Novak stood with several of the top eight tennis players, all of them waiting for the beginning of the photo shoot for the World Tour Finals. Now he stared at Rafa, who’d just somehow come up with his dislike towards the Swiss. And that was only two hours after he’d had his legs wrapped around Roger’s waist, groaning and screaming in delight. Many thanks.

 

“Uh, I don’t hate him”, Novak stumbled. He just hoped it seemed like he was trying not to say something bad, when really he tried not to be too nice. “I mean, you know… He’s plenty… uh, nice, that’s for sure.”

 

“The origin of ‘nice’ is 12th century Middle English, meaning foolish or stupid. I hope you’re referring to the modern use of the adjective.” The voice behind him made Novak freeze, while Rafa and the others snorted with laughter. He turned and looked at Roger, who was silently lifting an eyebrow at him. Not that Roger had to say anything else, perfectly playing his part as an uncaring opponent.

 

“I’m sure he does”, Andy Murray chuckled and with a last glance at him Roger walked past them, leaving Novak to stare after him. “Owned”, the Scot mumbled when he was out of ear shot, causing another round of laughter.

 

Novak decided to not say anything to that and took a sip of his coke. He tried hard not to look after Roger, but five minutes or so later he decided it was safe and risked a glance. Brown orbs were right there, the expression in them so intense that Novak wondered why he didn’t burn right then. He swallowed and looked away quickly.

 

He tried to concentrate on the talking around him, but his mind wandered back to when Roger had picked him up from his hotel room about an hour ago. He’d looked so gorgeous in his dark grey suit. If they hadn’t already been late…

 

Novak had fumbled with his tie, somehow distracted, and with a smile the older man had taken over, knotting it for him. They had stared at each other almost all the time, Roger’s beautiful eyes so full with emotions that it had made Novak blush and lower his head. Warm fingers had brushed his shoulder and chest, and the quiet moment had felt like perfection throughout.

 

To be honest, he hadn’t thought they could behave during the photo shoot. It wasn’t that they had talked about this. They rather had silently agreed on keeping them a secret for now and Novak knew it was for the better, considering it was all still so fresh and new. Still, after Roger’s _‘nice’_ little prank, the tension between them refused to subside even a tiny little bit.

 

Novak wondered why exactly Roger and he mostly ended up side by side at the photo shoots for the World Tour Finals. Since 2008, maybe even before that, the two of them were beside each other on at least one photograph every single year. He wanted to say that he hadn’t really noticed before, but that would be a lie.

 

Roger was a bastard. Okay, he didn’t grope Novak’s ass, but that was about everything he _didn’t_ do. He really wasn’t subtle – or at least that was what it seemed like to the younger man. They always touched accidentally, a hand on his elbow here, a brush of shoulders there… And all that without raising suspicions. Novak had no idea how Roger did it.

 

By the time they stepped into the elevator of their hotel, Novak was feeling much hotter than he should in mid November. He could only thank some miracle that it was just him and Roger. He saw Andy Murray shoot him a compassionate glance as the doors closed and Novak got himself to roll his eyes.

 

He wouldn’t have believed it for a minute, but the Scot’s laugh proved that he wasn’t all that bad as an actor. The hand on his ass the exact moment the doors were shut made his mask falter, though. “It’s good to know that you think I’m nice.”

 

“Damn you”, Novak cursed, glaring at the man from the corner of his eyes. They wouldn’t kiss in an elevator, there could be cameras, but still. At least Roger’s possessive gesture was hidden. “You did all that on purpose, didn’t you?”

 

“Of course”, the Swiss chuckled amusedly. “We’ll save so much time sans foreplay now.”

 

Novak laid his head back and closed his eyes. “I’m gonna have to get used of this idea that you’re no saint, but rather the devil himself. You know how hard that is?”

 

“I prefer thinking about how hard something else is right now.” Roger’s voice had dipped about three octaves; Novak wouldn’t have been able to tell if he’d been a music expert. His brain didn’t bother working anymore.

 

“God, I want you”, he somehow brought out, knowing he was smirking a little too widely. The elevator stopped at his floor. Novak didn’t step out - of course not -, but if someone should watch the level display, at least he _could_ have. “Though I didn’t really expect you to be into dirty talk”, Novak added once the doors were closed again and smirked when Roger tightened the grip on his ass a bit.

 

“Don’t try to tell me it turns you off.” It was like he could see Roger’s smirk even though he was staring at the doors.

 

“I’m going to jump you if these damn doors don’t open very soon”, Novak shot back. As if the elevator had just waited for him to say it they finally reached Roger’s floor and he walked out. He didn’t look if Roger was following him, he knew he was.

 

Novak just wanted to get in a room with Roger and do something about his hard-on that had been there for what seemed like hours. Then again, he wasn’t the only one with that problem. He moaned quietly when the Swiss moved up to him from behind, pressing his groin against his ass as he pushed Novak up against his door.

 

“If you’re going to take me like this, let’s do it from the other side”, the young man panted, trying to be reasonable as long as he still could.

 

“No cameras on this floor”, Roger whispered in his ear, his hands grasping his hips as his thumb moved under his shirt to stroke over Novak’s skin. “I’d say it’s very much worth the risk, what do you think?”

 

The Serb bit his lips to keep from moaning. “God, you’re such a tease.” Roger chuckled darkly, his hips moving against Novak’s lightly and oh yes, he was hard as well. Definitely. With one swift movement Novak turned around and reached for Roger’s tie, pulling him close. No cameras? He liked that. “Wasn’t it you who wanted to waste no time with foreplay? Now open that damn door.”

 

“Bossy, huh?” Roger smirked at him, but he reached into the pocket of his pants to get the key card out, anyway. “I think I love that.”

 

The door opened and then Novak found himself pressed against it once again, just like he’d said and exactly how he wanted it. Roger made quick work of his clothes, he himself still half-dressed as he loved Novak right there, driving him crazy with every trick in the book.

 

They were both naked by the time they fell on the bed and only because of Roger’s video shoot the next day did they sometime decide to go to sleep. When he woke up, Novak found himself in a tight embrace.

 

“Good morning, love”, Roger whispered and gently kissed him on his temple.

 

“Good morning”, Novak yawned before he lifted his head to look at the older man with a smile. “You need to go?”

 

“Soon, yeah.” The Swiss moved until he could kiss him on the lips. “Want to join me for a shower?”

 

“Hmm”, Novak hummed. “Sounds like I might enjoy that.”

 

“Oh believe me, you will.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

**November 25, 2011. London, England**

 

Friday evening Novak was on the couch and waiting for Roger. He’d just gotten there after his match against Janko and he felt fairly tired, so the older man had agreed to come to his room. 

 

They had decided on where to spend their nights spontaneously for the last week, mostly ending up in the master suit, though. Since they were in different groups, one of them had to play a match every day throughout the Round Robin phase. That turned out quite good, because this way they could at least plan their days and make the most of them.

 

A smile came up on Novak’s lips when he heard the quiet beep that gave away his lover’s arrival. His eyes had closed sometime and he didn’t bother opening them. Novak just listened as the door fell closed and something was put on the ground, probably a sleepover bag.

 

Only when he realized that Roger wasn’t coming over to him did the young Serb decide to take a look, watching silently as the man stood in front of the TV for a moment. “What are you doing, baby?” Novak smirked subtly, knowing exactly how much Roger loved it when he called him that, even if he’d never admit it. “Not that I don’t appreciate the view.”

 

“I knew you weren’t asleep.” Roger finally turned and smiled at him. Novak saw that the DVD player was on, which it hadn’t been before, and he frowned. Before he could say something, though, Roger explained: “I want to show you something.”

 

“Then why is the TV still off?” The Serb lifted an eyebrow as Roger came up beside the couch, placing a hand on the cushion right beside Novak as he leaned down. 

 

“Because I need to show you something else first.” The next moment he was kissing Novak and God, what a kiss it was. Groaning, the young man didn’t even notice the hand on his thigh, spreading his legs. All he registered was that, seconds later, Roger was on top of him and thrusting their hips together fiercely. His clothes were ripped off him and if his brain hadn’t gone on a heavenly vacation, Novak would have wondered what exactly had brought this on.

 

As things went, though, the next time he had the ability to do more than just whimper and grunt mindlessly they were both naked and slick with sweat. Roger was still on top of him, though he supported most of his own weight. He’d pulled a blanket over them and was currently comfortable with his head on Novak’s chest, his soft cock still inside him.

 

“Holy fuck.” Novak’s breath was still coming way too fast and he grumbled when Roger chuckled amusedly from his curse. “Be quiet. You can be thankful I discovered that gluten free diet, or else I wouldn’t have been fit enough to survive this.”

 

The laughter didn’t die down as Roger lifted his head. “Please correct me if I’m wrong, but are you complaining here? Because, if that’s the case, you shouldn’t have moaned and screamed like that, it’s a bit confusing…”

 

“Shut up”, Novak grunted, slightly embarrassed and he refused to turn his head to look at Roger, knowing he was blushing.

 

“God, you’re so cute”, Roger said softly. He nibbled on Novak’s jaw, kissing his way to his ear and it didn’t take long for the Serb to moan softly. “C’mon. Kiss me, Nole.” The sexy rawness of Roger’s voice was breaking every defense he had and a second later they were kissing deeply again.

 

Novak wouldn’t know how long they lay like that until Roger slowly retreated, placing several little pecks on his lips before lifting his head to look at him. “There was something I wanted to show you, remember?”

 

A minute later Novak was on his side, Roger behind him with an arm around his waist, and was watching the [music video for _Halo_](http://www.metacafe.com/watch/sy-5748526001/beyonce_halo_official_music_video/).

 

There were two things about the video that really stroke Novak. One, _Halo_ was Roger’s first single that was an outright love song, and the music video totally reflected that. Still it was bound to raise controversy once again. It didn’t just show the Swiss man with another man, but with an Afro-American and there was no way Roger hadn’t done that on purpose.

 

The second thing was the explosion of jealousy that made him want to throw up right then. _Fucking hell_. Novak wasn’t even aware of how he was holding onto the blanket tightly, the knuckles of his fist almost white. Only the feel of Roger’s naked body behind him, combined with the knowledge that Roger was there with him in that exact moment, was keeping Novak from going insane.

 

He already didn’t like to see the way Roger was looking at the guy as he watched him lying in bed at the beginning of the video. The window scene, though, was really hard on Novak. To watch the man stand closely behind Roger, his arms around him in an intimate embrace while his face was so close to Roger’s neck… And then the way that guy looked at Roger across the dance studio.

 

It was just too much and he didn’t give a fuck at the knowledge that it was only a video. Then, the scenes on the love seat, the looks and touches between Roger and the guy, the smiles, the intimate moments in bed, in the bathroom, the dancing… It all just added to his feeling of sickness.

 

By the time Roger and that man were standing face to face, the guy’s hands on his neck and his thumbs stroking over his cheek oh-so-softly, Novak had enough. He sat up and was just about to get off the couch, when Roger tightened his grip around him, holding him back.

 

“Nole…”

 

“Let me go.”

 

“Like hell”, Roger grumbled and pulled him back until Novak was colliding with the backrest. Next thing he knew was that the Swiss was in his lap, framing his face with both hands and all that before he could even blink. “You really have no idea what our love making ten minutes ago was all about, do you?”

 

The question as well as the angry seriousness in Roger’s eyes completely confused him. “What?”

 

“For heaven’s sakes, Novak, _I love you_. I want you. I need you. I’m here, with you, naked, spending my free time with you and loving every moment of it. I wrote that song for you, because I love you, because you’re my angel. Now get that damn jealousy out of your head, because you don’t have a thing to be jealous of. Absolutely not.”

 

Novak found himself too dumbstruck to even move, speechlessly staring at Roger instead of going off like he’d wanted to. The older man’s words had taken every wind out of his sales.

 

Roger gently leaned his forehead against his, still looking him in the eyes. “I think you need to know a couple of things about me.” The expression on his face was serious, like Novak had never seen before. He swallowed. “I’m the faithful kind of guy, Novak. And by that I mean that I’m completely and absolutely loyal in a relationship. I don’t know, I probably was cheated on one too many times, but that’s how I work. I will never do anything to compromise our relationship as long as we’re together. I love you, and I mean only you.” He sighed. “It’s just a video, Novak. An intense video for a love song that means so much to me. Did you listen to the lyrics? The video had to be like that. I chose to do this with a black man because homophobia and racism make me sick, but that doesn’t have anything to do with you. Yes, we touched, so what? I thought about you all the time, Nole. God, that scene with the tie? I took that from last week, when we were on our way to the photo shoot. This video is all about you, just without you being in it. You don’t have one fucking thing to be jealous of.”

 

There was something about the fierceness with which Roger had spoken that made Novak feel silly suddenly. It was all in the Swiss’ eyes, the love, the loyalty, and now that he thought about it, he could definitely find their relationship resembled in the video.

 

Novak breathed deeply. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I…”

 

“Don’t you ever apologize for what you’re feeling, understood?” Roger leaned in and kissed him briefly. “If someone should apologize here it’s me. I shouldn’t have just thrown this at you. To me it’s so clear that this video is all about you, I didn’t see that it would hurt you like it did. I’m sorry.”

 

Moving in, Novak wrapped his arms around Roger and pressed his face against the man’s neck. “I’m an idiot. I just… It just bothered me. The video is so beautiful, so believable. So real.”

 

“It’s just a video, Nole.” A kiss was pressed to his temple.

 

“But he lay on top of you for that last scene, didn’t he?” Novak couldn’t help the bitterness in his voice, but Roger had said he shouldn’t apologize for what he felt. And right then he felt very bitter. “And he did touch you, didn’t he?”

 

“First of all, the ‘he’ we’re talking about here is a long-time friend of mine. His name is Alex and I’ve known him ever since I turned a pro in tennis. Yes, he lay on top of me, but freaking hell, we were surrounded by twenty people, it was fucking hot underneath the headlamps and the son of one of the photographers had thrown up beside the bed.” A smile crept up on Novak’s face, even if he didn’t really feel like it. He heard Roger sigh. “Look, I meant what I said. I love you, and to me that includes that I love only you. I’m not going to fuck around. I’m not going to kiss anyone else besides you, I promise you that. The rest, though, is a part of what I do. I can’t just start making bad videos.”

 

A chuckle rose in his throat involuntarily and Novak snorted. “And I don’t want you to.” They sat like that for a few minutes, the young man trying to calm the twirling emotions inside him. Eventually, he whispered: “I get it. I really do. I just need some time to put my head around it.”

 

“Do you want me to take your mind off it?” Roger pushed him back gently until they could look at each other, a beautiful smile on his lips. “I love you, Nole. Just don’t forget that.”

 

“Fuck me.” Novak stared at Roger as he swallowed hard. “God, please. Fuck me.”

 

“No.” The Swiss moved in for a kiss that had Novak whimper against his lips. “No”, he repeated hoarsely when they broke apart. “I will never just fuck you. And now I’m going to make love to you.”

 

And how he did. Novak just let himself fall as Roger savaged him, erasing the last bits of jealousy without even saying a word. It seemed so easy, thinking about that video when Novak was looking in the man’s eyes as they rocked together. He knew he’d be fine. Soon, anyway. Maybe not right then, because it was all still very new, but Novak knew that he’d manage to put his head around this.

 

They lay in bed in a tight embrace when Novak spoke into the silence of the room, choosing his words carefully. “What did you mean when you said you were cheated on too many times?”

 

He heard Roger sigh heavily. “Let’s talk about this some other day, not now. I don’t want to ruin our night together.”

 

Nodding, Novak cuddled up some more to the older man, a content sigh on his lips. “I love you.”

 

“Love you, too.”

 

“And I think I’ll like that video very much. It’s beautiful.”

 

“I’m glad”, he could hear Roger’s smile. “It’s for you, after all.”

 

“Then I think I might even love it.” Novak smiled as well and for a while they just lay like that, until finally the young man couldn’t hold it back anymore. “I hope you know that I’m the faithful kind of guy as well.”

 

Roger kept silent and after a minute Novak looked up at him, his heart clenching painfully at the expression in brown eyes. He wanted to say something, but a finger on his lips stopped him. The Swiss mumbled: “I’d like to believe you. It’s not your fault that I can’t, though. I’ve learned to be careful in relationships and I can’t just turn that off. Not yet anyway. And again, let’s not ruin our time together. It’s okay.”

 

Novak lay awake long after Roger had fallen asleep. He needed time to think about everything that had happened that night, but most importantly he couldn’t get the man’s words out of his mind. Someone had hurt Roger, and badly at that.

 

He couldn’t stop touching him. There was an urge inside him to make Roger feel better, to do whatever it took to make him happy and the intenseness of it simply stunned Novak. By the time he closed his eyes as well, he was cuddled up to the Swiss from behind, hoping he’d understand that he wouldn’t hurt him. Not for anything in the world.

 

 


	9. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lynette (almost) catches them in bed, and finally it's the night of the first concert of Roger's world tour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are MANY videos in this one. Basically it's all centered around the footage of Beyoncé's I Am... World Tour, though I've made some changes. There's no concert video for Still In Love (Kissing You), so I've just put up the studio version for you to still be able to listen to it. 
> 
> Most of the videos are from the tour DVD which includes some footage of Beyoncé talking into her webcam. I'll refer to these scenes later (in the second part of the Revelations series), so for now just ignore them. If there isn't video for every song, that's because some of the videos contain more than one songs. So, just keep watching them ;D
> 
> Note: The video for Sweet Dreams actually consists of Beyoncé's song Diva at the concert. Here it's more about the dance choreography than the song itself, just imagine that with Sweet Dreams in mind.

 

 

It was a pleasure watching Roger playing the semis and then the final, winning the World Tour Finals for a record sixth crown. Novak spent the whole Sunday night showing the Swiss how happy he was for him.

 

The topic of Roger’s past relationships hadn’t come up again and Novak let it go. After all, the first night of his world tour was getting closer and believe it or not, the Swiss star was more and more on edge.

 

They had decided that it would be best for Novak to spend the concert backstage with Beyoncé. It would be weird if he’d show up with Rafa and the other players. He wasn’t exactly known for liking Roger so watching his concert live wasn’t an option. There was also no way Novak was going to miss seeing Roger at his first full show, so a compromise was made and he could totally live with it.

 

On Monday morning, though, Novak found himself in a rather awkward situation.

 

Roger and he were still in bed after having fallen asleep not until the early morning hours when the lock of his door beeped, announcing that their undisturbed time together was over. Only problem: they were still naked, and the intruder turned out to be no one else but Roger’s mother Lynette Federer.

 

“Hey honey, I hope I’m not waking you, but it’s your big day and I thought we might want to eat breakfast together…”

 

Roger’s head jerked up from Novak’s chest and they stared at each other for a moment. “You ready to meet my mum?” The Serb’s hesitation was all the answer he needed. With a gentle kiss to show him it was okay Roger jumped out of bed, quickly pulling on his jeans and grasping a shirt. “Stay here until we’re gone. I’ll call you about tonight.”

 

With that the door to the bedroom closed and Novak was left in Roger’s bed while the Swiss was looking at his mother, who just lifted a knowing eyebrow at him. “From your look I take it you’re not alone.”

 

Why do mothers always know when something’s up? “Uhm, do you mind eating breakfast downstairs?” Roger asked as he finished buttoning up his shirt.

 

“You don’t want to introduce us?” Lynette was smiling innocently at him, making her son groan.

 

“Mum, please. Not today.”

 

“Fine, baby. Let’s go then.”

 

In his bedroom Novak fell onto his back with a loud sigh when he heard the front door close. Now that had been a close call.

 

~~~****~~~

 

“You really could have introduced us, you know.” Lynette Federer was taking a sip of her cappuccino as she inwardly smiled at the roll of eyes her words brought her from her son.

 

“Mum, please. We just got together. Give him some time, for heaven’s sakes.”

 

“So a guy, huh?” Lynette laughed when Roger shot her a glare. “Hey, I did not ask.”

 

“No, you’re much more subtle than that.” Roger couldn’t suppress his smile, though. Before he could add something, the man saw Novak walk into the hotel restaurant, heading straight to the buffet. “And besides, who said you don’t already know him anyway?”

 

Now it was Lynette’s turn to glare at her son. “Are you kidding with me, Roger?”

 

“No, just asking”, the Swiss man chuckled, making it clear that yeah, somehow, he was kidding.

 

“Are you nervous?”

 

“About introducing him?” From the corner of his eyes Roger saw that Novak had chosen a table across the room, but still in his field of view. Naughty boy. “Not really, no.”

 

“Good to know, but I was talking about your tour.” Lynette laughed amusedly. “Is it something serious?”

 

“What now, my tour or my new relationship? I think I’m confused here.”

 

His mum smacked him on his upper arm. “You know very well what I’m talking about right now, Roger.”

 

With a chuckle he said truthfully: “Very serious.”

 

His words made Lynette smile broadly. “That sounds fantastic, honey. I’m so happy for you.”

 

“I’m not married yet.” Another smack on his arm that made Roger laugh.

 

“You’re horrible, but at least you’re not a nervous wreck because of your opening show tonight. Can I ask you something else?”

 

“Fire away.”

 

“Does he love you, too?”

 

Roger was silent for a moment, wondering how she even knew that _he_ was in love, but then again she was his mum, and his mum just knew things like that. “This all started with him telling me that he loves me. So yeah, I think he does.”

 

His mother didn’t say anything else and she didn’t have to. Her joy for him was written all over her face and Roger felt himself blush a bit. God, was there any way he could feel happier with his life right now? Well, probably after he’d survived his first show without fucking up too badly.

 

“Is he going to be at the concert tonight?”

 

Roger looked at his mum seriously. “Yes, he’ll be with Bey. Look, I know you’re curious, but we just got together after Basel. I’ll introduce him to you and Dad when he’s comfortable, okay?”

 

“Sure thing, though he better hurry up. I’m horribly curious.” Lynette laughed again when Roger rolled his eyes. “Alright, I’m going to stop now. When do you want to drive to the arena?”

 

“Right after breakfast? I don’t think I can concentrate on anything else, anyway.”

 

“Okay, but only if you’ll eat some more of whatever it is you’re eating. You’ll need the energy.”

 

“Yes, Ma’am.” Roger jumped up and walked away from the table, glad he’d survived the _Ma’am_ at all. He smirked when he noticed that someone joined him at the buffet, knowing who it was without having to look. When he was sure no one was around, Roger said quietly: “Good morning, Djokovic. Had a good night?”

 

“Actually I had a really great night.” Novak’s smirk was all audible in his voice.

 

“Really? Tell me about it.”

 

“Well, there’s that guy, he’s really awesome and frighteningly good in bed. He also had to leave pretty abruptly, which I find a bit rude.”

 

Roger had to stop himself from bursting out laughing. “Yeah, sounds too bad. I’m sure he’ll make it up to you soon enough.” With that he left Novak standing and went back to his mother who, thank God, hadn’t watched them.

 

“Did Djokovic talk to you?” Oh well, maybe she had.

 

“Said hello”, Roger confirmed as he sat down. “A bit small talk. Have you heard something about the arena yet?” He changed the topic without further notice of Novak, that would just have awoken his mother’s suspicions.

 

“It’s weird that he doesn’t seem to like you at all”, Lynette watched the Serb walk back over to his table. “Well, anyway. Yes, it’s all built up already as far as I know, so you’ll be able to go through it all one last time. I can’t wait for it to start, to be honest. You’ll be so great.”

 

“Well, I sure hope so.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

Roger was lying on the couch of his changing room, already in his stage outfit. Everything was done, the show could start and he was just waiting for the time to pass. He had to breathe deeply several times to calm his nerves, a feeling he hadn’t felt in years. God, if Roger was honest he hadn’t been this anxious since he’d played Pete Sampras at Wimbledon, and he loved it so damn much.

 

The door to his room opened. “Hey”, he heard Beyoncé greet him and Roger smiled as he turned his head to look at her.

 

“Hey yourself”, he gave back, only to smile broadly when he saw who was right behind the women. “Hey, babe.”

 

Bey grinned widely at them before saying: “I’ll leave you two alone for a while. Baby girl is kicking my bladder, anyway.”

 

Roger chuckled as the woman closed the door with a last knowing smile, his eyes then wandering to Novak as he sat up. The Serb was incredibly sexy in blue jeans and the colorful long-sleeved shirt and he wouldn’t mind staring at him for a while.

 

He just wanted to speak up when Novak said: “God, you look hot.” Roger smirked as the man walked over to the couch to sit beside him.

 

“That’s what I hope”, he smiled before leaning in and kissing Novak slowly. “But I also have to return the compliment. Remind me to keep my hands off you, there’s not enough time left.”

 

Novak chuckled. “Got it. You nervous?”

 

“Like I haven’t been in years”, Roger laughed and hid his face in the crook of his neck. “I’d be a wreck now if I weren’t used to playing tennis in front of thousands of people. I’m not usually this afraid of fucking up, though.”

 

Novak placed an arm around him and squeezed tightly. “You’ll do amazing. I know it.”

 

They sat like that until Bey came back, quietly pointing out that she and Novak should go now. Roger knew that it had been a risk to see Novak at all so shortly before the concert, but he really appreciated it.

 

“Thank you”, he whispered in Novak’s ear before kissing him briefly. “I love you.”

 

“Love you, too, and you’re welcome.” With another kiss the Serb stood up and left, and then Roger was alone once again. He felt better, though, and he was looking forward to the start of the show more than ever.

 

He only hoped that people were going to like it.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Being backstage was pretty much the most awesome experience Novak had ever had. He and Beyoncé were sitting in a secluded area on very comfortable chairs, provided with everything they could want: soft drinks, pastries, salty snacks and even a variety of sandwiches and other finger food.

 

A glance from Novak made the pregnant woman laugh. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m eating for two right now.” The Serb grinned as Bey turned back to the screens in front of them that were showing so many different scenes and ankles of the stage that it was almost dizzying.

 

It was getting closer to the start of the concert, Novak could tell just from the volume of the roaring crowd inside the arena. He’d dared a glance at the O2 earlier, awed by the sheer mass of people awaiting Roger’s first show. There was no way he could imagine what it would be like to go on stage now and perform.

 

Admittedly, Novak was used to playing tennis in front of over 40,000 people, like on Center Court in New York, but this was something very different. These people were there only because of Roger and Novak admired the man for being as cool as he was despite his admission of being hellishly nervous.

 

They caught a short glance of Roger right before he went towards the stage, and then Novak was lost in the images in front of him.

 

[The sound level was immense. ](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xftuy4_beyonce-crazy-in-love-i-am-world-tour_music?search_algo=2#.UWbDQ7U9H-Y)It seemed like everyone in the arena was screaming as they anticipated Roger to finally appear on stage. The band members and a few of the dancers walked on stage first, though they were hidden from the crowd behind a big curtain.

 

The moment the first notes started playing, the screaming reached its peak and then special effect fog enwrapped the stage. Roger was going on stage and Novak could hear the exact moment he could be seen for the first time.

 

It was stunning. Really, really stunning. Roger was just a black figure within the white fog, a bright light shining from right behind him. He stood completely still for a moment before he started singing the intro to _Déjà Vu_.

 

_Baby!_

_Seems like everywhere I go I see you_

_From your eyes, your smile, it's like I breathe you_

_Helplessly I reminisce, don't want to_

_Compare nobody to you_

 

The explosion that followed almost made Novak jump. The curtain dropped, revealing the stage with the band and background singers on glass pedestals, and immediately the first notes of _Crazy In Love_ started playing. Of course. What other song would be better to open the show than this one.

 

An insane amount of lights emblazed the stage and for the first time, Roger was shown in a close-up on the screens, almost causing Novak’s jaw to drop. This wasn’t the same man as in the changing room fifteen minutes ago. There wasn’t a single hint of insecurity or doubt, not even in the slightest.

 

This was a confident and incredibly sexy Roger Federer and Novak was simply stunned. A quick look at Bey confirmed that she wasn’t much better, her eyes glued to the screens.

 

 _Crazy In Love_ was nothing short of amazing. The dancing, Roger’s attitude, and then the huge screen behind the stage, it was all simply incredible, even the way he moved around the stage.

 

During the second chorus Roger walked up close to the front row of the crowd, singing ‘Hey-hey-hehehey-hey’ with so much passion that it made Novak’s throat go dry. The dance sequence that followed, the Swiss accompanied by four male dancers, was really cool and then Jay-Z came on stage.

 

Roger simply stood there, grinning at the man and accompanying his rap with gestures, which was just as awesome. The crowd was going absolutely wild, there was no other way to put it. When Jay was done and turned to go, Roger said to one of his band members who was just walking to the front part of the stage: “Katty, blow your horn!”

 

While a saxophone solo began, Jay walked off the stage and the Swiss shouted out: “Give it up for Jay-Z!” He then turned to his band members: “Katty, blow that horn. Make it funky!”

 

It was amazing, the music, a really great saxophone solo, and then the way Roger rocked to it… Crystal with her saxophone joined in and then Tia with her trumpet as well, before the whole band kicked back in.

 

Roger was magnificent in this opening song, rocking the crap out of it like Novak would never ever have imagined. His now straight hair made the head banging look impressive and the Serb understood why he’d changed the look for the tour in the first place. It was all over the place, highlighting the fierceness of Roger’s movements all too well.

 

_I'm feelin' sexy_

_I wanna hear you say my name, boy_

_If you can reach me_

_You can feel my burning flame_

 

[ _Naughty Boy_](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xiduwa_i-am-world-tour-dvd-part-1-intro-crazy-in-love-naughty-girl-bmf_music?search_algo=2#.UWbDzLU9H-Y) (video: 7.20) followed, the red lights and the hot and sexy dancing fitting the song perfectly. Who on earth knew Roger could shake his ass like that, and then the way he was looking into the cameras most of the time…

 

_To be, or not to be…_

_NOT!_

 

“That’s not one of his songs”, Novak found himself saying.

 

“No, it’s mine”, Bey said rather distractedly. “[ _Freakum Dress_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HXySf-Fa3U). Roger reworked it.”

 

_Put your freakum dress on_

_Every woman got one_

_Shut it down when the time's come_

_Pull out the big gun_

_Put your freakum dress on_

_Soon as I saw you_

_Turned me on by how the dress was fitting right_

_Short and backless_

_See your silhouette in the moonlight_

_Such an attraction_

_Keep telling you how your outfit's so nice_

_Little did I know_

_Ha, your man gonna take it off tonight_

 

Novak wasn’t completely sure as to what to think of the two Adonis-like African American that Roger was dancing with for the song, but he ignored it. This was too good to waste time with thinking anyway.

 

The song rocked, literally, and when Roger introduced his guitarist Bibi, Novak realized that the best was yet to come. Seeing the way Roger head banged during the guitar solo was already amazing, but then…

 

“Bibi, take me higher!” Novak’s mouth hung open as Roger bent backwards, deeper and deeper, still managing to shake his head and sing without even the slightest flaw in his voice. _Good God_. It just shouldn’t be possible to be so stretched, Novak thought as Roger lay on his back, just to move back up again like gravity didn’t exist for him.

 

There was sheer power in Roger’s moves for the rest of the song, one aggressive and incredibly sexy move after the other. The song ended with Roger whispering in his micro: “ _I hope you got your freakum dress on_.”

 

Everything went black after that and it took a few seconds [for one headlight to go back on](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfttbi_beyonce-get-me-bodied-live_music#.UWbE7bU9H-Y), illuminating Roger as he stood in front of the screaming and yelling crowd. The man took a moment to take in the madness that was going on in front of him, an awed look on his face.

 

He finally lifted the micro again and called out: “Band?” One bang followed and Roger added: “ _Mission one, I’ma put this on, when you see me in that jeans I’ma get me some, hey!_ ”

 

He stood still again, but now it was clear that he was about to do _Get Me Bodied_ and the crowd was roaring up again. “Band.” Two bangs this time. “ _Mission two, gotta make that call, tell him get the bottles poppin' when they play my song, hey!_ ”

 

“Band.” Three bangs. “ _Mission three, got my three best friends like we do it all the time, we gonna do it again, hey!_ ” His background singers now: “Mission four!” And for the next line, Roger slowed his voice down more and more: “ _Got the vintage rolls, drop a couple hundreds tell him leave it at the door, hey!_ ”

 

He smirked at the crowd, adding: “I think ya’ll are ready to dance!” The beat kicked in and Novak couldn’t decide if this wasn’t maybe the freaking best dance choreography he’d ever seen Roger do. Holy shit. It was awesomeness redefined, especially with the replication of Roger and his dancers in the background.

 

The man disappeared from the stage after that and there was a little break as he changed his outfit. Novak and Beyoncé didn’t say anything, they were both flashed by what had just happened.

 

After the up-tempo songs, the next part of the set was much quieter. Roger reappeared atop a flight of stairs, now completely in white. In addition to the pants and the tee, he was also wearing a somewhat wide shirt that was moving slightly in the wind that was blown onto the stage.

 

He gave an emotional rendition of [_Smash Into You_](http://www.peteava.ro/id-601936-beyonc-i-am-the-world-tour-smash-into-you) in front of crashing waves of a beautiful blue ocean, and Novak had to wipe away a tear that threatened to fall. It really was that good. Next up was [_Flaws and All_](http://www.guavaleaf.com/video/9299/Beyonc%C3%A9--Flaws-and-All-The-Beyonc%C3%A9-Experience-Live#sthash.gzuG5lsP.dpbs), followed by _[Broken-Hearted Man](http://vdownload.eu/watch/741266-beyonce-broken-hearted-girl-live-i-am-world-tour.html)._ They were all so good and Novak wasn’t sure what he liked more, the brilliant dancing or the raw emotion in Roger’s voice during these slow numbers.

 

Another change of outfit followed, during which a video of Roger appeared on the screens. It was the same style as in his video for [_If You Were A Boy_](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfwrg1_if-i-were-a-boy-you-oughta-know-i-am-world-tour_music#.UWbGILU9H-Y), a black-and-white shot with the Swiss in front of a wall.

 

_Patience_

_Happiness_

_Compromise_

_Sadness_

_Humor_

_Intimacy_

_Selflessness_

_Togetherness_

_Sex_

_Commitment_

 

This time Novak had to swallow at what he saw when Roger was back on stage. He donned Ray Bans and a leather vest that appeared to be bulletproof, very simple yet futuristic. With the broad wrist band in the same style and really tight jeans he was looking impossibly sexy.

 

The song itself was once again interlaced with _You Oughta Know_ , just like it had been at the preview show in Vegas and Novak loved finally hearing it in high quality. Roger’s performance was extremely good, so painful and emotional, especially the angry Alanis cover. His handling of the microphone stand wasn’t all that bad, either.

 

[ _Sweet Dreams_](http://www.peteava.ro/id-601941-beyonc-i-am-the-world-tour-diva) and [_Radio_ ](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfwrgf_beyonce-radio-live-i-am-world-tour-dvd_music?search_algo=2#.UWbDj7U9H-Y)followed, the dance choreographies once again so good that it was unreal. At the end of _Radio_ Novak was surprised to see a video of a young Roger playing on the big screen; there were no words for how cute a boy the man had been.

 

Then Kanye West walked on the stage and did his amazing rap for [_Ego_](http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjM4MzUwMzA4.html). When he left and Roger came on stage for the rest of the song, the Swiss said: “Please give it up for the incomparable Kanye West!”

 

Novak was in love with the piano piece by Brittani. One of the Serb’s most favorite songs was next, [_Hello_](http://facedl.com/fvideo.php?f=anqkoiknxwqnqqx&beyonce-i-am-world-tour-hello), which Roger specifically introduced: “Can I sing something else off of my first album _Me, Myself and I?_ This song is called _Hello_ , and it talks about meeting the man of your dreams for the first time.”

 

The way Roger did the song was awesome, vocally so strong and with little gestures that made Novak grin just because they were so cute. It proved how much fun the man had in that moment. Towards the end of the song, Roger introduced yet another member of his band: “Everybody say hello to Nikki on the drums.”

 

He didn’t know how Roger could do it, but he accompanied the drum solo with only the words ‘Play’ and ‘Nikki’, somehow making even that sound gorgeous. It was so great to see the way Roger enjoyed himself and Novak grinned as he saw Beyoncé beside him unable to sit still any longer.

 

The next [outfit change](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfyyei_beyonce-baby-boy-i-am-world-tour-dvd_music#.UWbC0bU9H-Y) was different and had everyone waiting longer than before. Several of his dancers performed solos on platforms all around the arena to bridge the wait while dramatic music played in the background, interlaced with strokes of a big bell.

 

When Roger then reappeared the arena was dead silent all of a sudden.

 

A trapdoor in the middle of the stage opened dramatically, special effect fog streaming out. A few seconds later the Swiss arose, wire ropes fastened at a safety belt around his hips as Beyoncé’s song _Baby Boy_ started playing. Roger was pulled up into the air, revealing the black coat he was wearing, a hoodie concealing his face.

 

The fabric was at least 20 meters long, hanging down dramatically until it fell off all of a sudden, revealing a much more appropriate outfit. Still, the scenery was awesome and the crowd finally came back to life as Roger was moved through the air and towards the middle of the arena. When he halted, the man put his hands together in front of him and under loud screaming and applause he rotated forward several times.

 

 _Baby Boy_ was still playing as Roger was lowered onto a second and smaller stage that Novak hadn’t even been aware of. Someone from his crew helped him out of the belt before Roger got handed a micro and a flag. The latter turned out to be Great Britain’s that he was then holding in his hand as he was spinning around repeatedly.

 

“ _Heeey_ ”, Roger started singing right after Bey’s song had stopped. “Ya’ll, snap your fingers like this!”

 

“What’s this song?” Novak asked Bey without tearing his eyes from the screens.

 

“ _You Don’t Love Me (No, No, No)_ by Dawn Penn. Your boyfriend has taste.”

 

Novak only hummed as he stared at the way Roger moved on the stage. He was head banging once again, then going over to half-singing and half-moaning out the lyrics of a song the young Serb had never heard. With the moaning part, though, he quickly came to like it.

 

Afterwards the cameras were showing Roger in a close-up. There was a brilliant smile on the man’s face, his eyes sparkling as he spoke to the crowd: “I’ve been singing my heart out. Is it okay if you sing for me now?” The crowd’s delight was unmistakable. “Alright. Bibi?” The first sounds of the guitar had everyone screaming once again. [_Irreplaceable_](http://vlog.xuite.net/play/bW03am04LTMyOTg0MDcuZmx2/Beyonce-I-Am...-World-Tour-DVD-Part-7-Irreplaceable-Check-On-It-Bootylicious).

 

“Okay, so, this song is for everybody, men and women. Sometimes in relationships you can get real comfortable and forget that we all can be replaced. Now, what I want you to do is: Imagine that person, whoever that is in your mind, and this is your opportunity to give them a piece of your mind. But I want you to sing it like they’re right in front of you. Are you ready?” Loud screaming once again. “Alright now. Sing: _To the left_ , _to the left_.”

 

Roger practiced the line with the audience for all of two minutes and it was awesome to hear how more and more people were singing along. Novak thought that the man really had a talent to reach the crowd, expertly encouraging them to sing along.

 

By the end of the ‘training session’, Roger had also added the song’s signature arm movement and then, when he finally started with the song itself, it was simply stunning how loud everyone was singing along. After ‘ _Everything you own in the…’_ , Roger gave up and let the crowd do the whole singing, which worked so fantastic that Novak got goose bumps, even though he was just backstage.

 

“That was so beautiful, y'all”, the Swiss grinned after the first chorus, the joy written all over his face. The band kicked in and they finished the song while everyone was still singing along.

 

At the end of it, Roger took a few moments to enjoy the scenery. Over 18,000 people in front of him were screaming, repeatedly chanting his name and even ‘King’, and Roger just took it in, visibly enjoying every second of it.

 

Then: “Gimme a beat.” And now Novak had a few problems with too tight pants. These movements his lover did during _Check On It_ , holy fuck… And then the lyrics. “ _You think that I’m teasin’, but I ain’t got no reason/ I’m sure that I can please you_.” The Serb had some trouble swallowing as he stared motionlessly at the way Roger looked down at himself, the meaning behind it all so very clear. _Good Lord_.

 

The dance choreography afterwards was really cute and funny, though Novak couldn’t deny that he was still feeling a little hotter than before. He loved the intro to [_Upgrade U_](http://www.peteava.ro/id-601951-beyonc-i-am-the-world-tour-upgrade-u), Roger’s attitude and the way he sang along during Jay-Z’s rap. He looked awesome with the cap he sported during the first verse, having picked it from someone in the crowd.

 

Dancing in front of four male background dancers, Novak had never admired the man more for his ability to deliver such a killer performance while singing live. And then, oh God, [_Video Phone_](http://www.peteava.ro/id-601952-beyonc-i-am-the-world-tour-video-phone). There were the breathed moans at the beginning, followed by the way Roger moved on the chair and then around the stage. Fittingly to the song’s title, he was actually being filmed with a cell phone by one of the dancers, the images appearing on the big stage screen.

 

Right after the performance the Swiss ran from the B-stage back to the main one and disappeared for another outfit change, while an [interlude ](http://www.peteava.ro/id-601955-beyonc-i-am-the-world-tour-at-last)played on the big screen. It showed Roger walking in front of about 20 men and women in black suits, he himself wearing a white one. He was saying with a serious tone to his voice: “I’m a survivor. I will not give up. I will not stop. I will work hard. I’m a survivor. I’m gonna make it. I will keep on surviving.”

 

The people from the group behind him and Roger himself were alternately saying: “I Am…”, until Roger completed the sentence: “I Am… Free. I Am… Strong. I Am… Fierce.”

 

Roger was back in the middle of the stage by the time the video was over. The first song he did was classical R&B and Novak simply loved it: _At Last_ by Etta James. He’d never expected Roger to go so old school, but his rendition was magnificent. It was a simple performance that stunned just because of the power in Roger’s voice, and the Serb could easily imagine that it was about them a bit as well.

 

One of Roger’s rarest songs followed, [_Still In Love (Kissing You)_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU5GGiFK5Bc), the cover of a Des’ree song, and somehow it all got even more beautiful. The whole stage turned dark after that, making it seem like the show was over. Then, though, the screen came to live again and the volume in the arena reached another peak.

 

Videos of dance choreographies from YouTube to [_Single Guys_](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfwr3k_beyonce-single-ladies-i-am-world-tour-dvd_music#.UWbCP7U9H-Y) were shown and Novak found himself laughing at some of them, especially at Barack Obama doing the hand movement. The song itself was played in the background, not live, and it stopped at a video where three guys were dancing to the song. Roger himself came running from the background and joined them until they realized they weren’t alone anymore, absolutely stunned by his appearance.

 

Then, finally, Roger walked back onto the stage, declaring: “Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls. The moment we’ve all been waiting for. Put your hands up!” The performance of _Single Guys_ was simply stunning. The black outfit with the silver flames all over it was awesome as well and Roger looked incredible, doing what he did best. Well, aside tennis. The man worked the crowd like crazy again, asking them to put their hands together and repeat after him, which sounded simply amazing.

 

And then there was [_Halo_](http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xfyya8_beyonce-halo-i-am-world-tour-dvd_music#.UWbCf7U9H-Y). In complete darkness, Roger said: “Everybody, put your hands together.” Novak swallowed as the first notes started playing and the lights went back on. The song was even more beautiful when played live, but Roger totally smashed it. The whole crowd clapped along to the beat during the show’s final song.

 

It was brilliant to hear the crowd scream _‘a sound’_ in the fourth line. After that, Roger let them sing on while he headed down the stage and then Novak watched as he walked past the front rows. Dan was there to protect Roger, as well as two other bodyguards, in case someone grasped his hand too tightly, but that didn’t seem to be the case even once.

 

There were some people who totally freaked out at Roger touching their hands as he came past them, others going absolutely still. The Swiss was singing all the time while smiling at the crowd in front of him. Eventually he ran through the middle part of the arena and back to the B-stage.

 

Novak could only stare in disbelieve. The performance was getting more and more intense. There was that growling that Roger was famous for, his passion taking the song higher and higher. It was quite a sight, thousands of people lifting their hands high and clapping to the beat.

 

And then Roger was stage diving. _Good God_. Beyoncé beside Novak emitted a surprised gasp, her eyes glued to the scenes in front of them just like Novak’s. It was incredible to watch.

 

The tribute to Michael Jackson was an emotional end to an absolutely brilliant show. There was another video of a young Roger on his way to his first Michael Jackson concert. Afterwards, the Swiss said with a rough voice: “That was the night I saw my hero perform for the very first time. That was the night I experienced the magic of Michael Jackson.” The applause caused Roger to be silent for a moment, waiting until he could be heard again. “Everyone, I want you to put your lighters in the air, put your glow sticks in the air, put your cell phones in the air, and help me celebrate Michael’s life.”

 

_C’mon_

_‘Cause everywhere we’re looking now_

_I’m surrounded by your embrace_

_‘Cause Michael we can feel your halo_

_You know you’re my save embrace_

_You’re everything we need and more_

_It’s written all over your face_

_Michael, we can see your halo_

_I pray it won’t fade away, no no…_

 

The rest of the song was simply breathtaking. There were no words to describe the passion that Roger was singing with as he paid tribute to his biggest musical inspiration, the late King of Pop. To see him crawl around the stage, rolling on his back and then that beautiful final note, it was just too much to really take in at once.

 

And then it was over. “Thank you so much”, Roger smiled and took a deep bow in front of the thousands of people in front of him. “Thank you all so much. This is a night we will never forget. Ya’ll are AMAZING!”

 

Roger ran back to the main stage and up the flight of stairs, where he stood in front of a big image of himself. “London!” The man placed his left hand on his chest. “I Am. I Am! I. Am. _Yours_.” The applause roared up again. “Thank you so much for all that you do, for all of your support, all of the love, all of the loyalty. I love you, I will continue to give you everything that I have, every ounce of my being, to make sure I entertain YOU! I can’t wait to see you again. Until next time: HALO!”

 

Beyoncé and Novak stared while Roger disappeared into the pedestal, waving at the crowd that was absolutely on fire, making the arena seem like an overheated boiler. Some of the cameras were filming the crowd and it was amazing to see how crazy everyone was, raving after an absolutely incredible show.

 

Because that’s exactly what it had been. An incredible, totally amazing show that had exceeded really every expectation. 

 


	10. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Roger's first show.

 

 

When Roger came walking from the stage his eyes seemed to be on fire, Novak couldn’t put it any differently. He was standing hidden in the shadows beside Beyoncé, watching silently as the Swiss pulled on the jacket that was offered to him. “That is why I do what I do”, he heard Roger say proudly, the roaring of the crowd making it very clear what he meant.

 

A moment later he was in the middle of a big group hug, surrounded by all of his band members, dancers, background singers and whoever else had been standing around. Everyone was smiling and laughing, trying to get to Roger first. One after the other hugged Roger, some only shortly, others longer like Bibi who didn’t seem to want to let go of him ever again.

 

The show had been mind-blowing from start to finish and everyone knew it. The applause in the arena was still on full blast and it was a pleasure watching Roger like this. He was beaming, his cheeks slightly blushed and his hair beautifully messed up. Novak had never seen the man like this, his happiness nothing but infectious.

 

Roger was making his way further from the stage, not able to go even a meter without someone there to hug him. There was a spirit behind the stage that was nothing short of amazing. Novak got to understand that _this_ was exactly what the older man had meant, claiming that shows and concerts were why he was doing music in the first place.

 

Lynette Federer appeared and hugged her son tightly as well. It was then that Beyoncé called his name quietly, leading Novak away to an empty room in the back of the arena complex. “What’s this?” The room looked like a party room, with tables and benches in the middle and a buffet on one side, framed by two fridges with soft drinks.

 

“You think Roger would get away without celebrating the premier of his show? Nah”, Beyoncé laughed as the door opened and Jay-Z appeared. “Is he coming?”

 

“He’ll be right here, he’s just saying good-bye to his mum”, her husband replied and grinned widely. “God was that good, eh?”

 

“I knew he’d do it”, Bey smiled proudly. “He’s worked so hard for this.”

 

“Yes, he did. Now let’s throw that party for him.”

 

Jay-Z disappeared again, though the door didn’t stay closed for too long. Band members were floating in, and then even more people, everyone in high spirit and if Novak’s presence startled anyone they knew how to hide it. Maybe it helped that he was standing with Beyoncé, no one questioning his right to be there when the queen herself seemed fine with it.

 

The real question for Novak, though, was why he was there in the first place. Wouldn’t it be awkward for Roger and him to ignore each other the whole time? Before he could get really deep into his musings, though, the door opened and Roger stepped in, having changed into an old jeans and a white tee. Everyone in the room cheered and applauded at his entrance, making him grin even wider than he already did, but the man’s eyes looked around searchingly.

 

Novak felt a bolt of electricity shoot through his body the moment brown orbs spotted him. A second later Roger was walking towards him and killed every question about how they’d act around his crew members that night as he took Novak’s face between his hands and kissed the life out of him.

 

It was silent in the room all of a sudden and the young Serb was all too aware of the fact that really _everyone_ was staring at them. Roger didn’t seem to give a damn, though.

 

Their kiss was just a firm lip-lock, but Novak felt the passion behind it, making his knees go weak. And then there was the mere fact that Roger was _kissing_ him. In front of his whole crew, like it was the most normal thing to do. God.

 

A wave of pure happiness rocked through him when he realized just what all that meant and Novak couldn’t help the broad grin that crept up on his face. Roger broke slowly away from his lips and looked at him, his eyes so full of joy and love that it made Novak’s heart miss a beat.

 

Just as Roger moved back in to kiss him softly again, the silence around them was disrupted by enthusiastic shouting and cheering. It seemed unreal and they both smiled happily, with Novak leaning his forehead against Roger’s lightly.

 

“We’re making a show of ourselves”, he whispered against Roger’s lips, though the broad grin on his face betrayed Novak. He didn’t care at all.

 

“Oh, you want to give them a show? We can do that.”

 

And now Roger _really_ kissed him. Deep and thoroughly and with all the excitement and joy that he was feeling after his brilliant performance. Thank God the cheering was picking up again. The noise drowned Novak’s groan as the older man claimed his mouth in one of those burning kisses that usually saw him drag Roger to bed right away.

 

They really gave quite a show and soon enough got wolf whistles because of it, making Roger laugh into his mouth. Breaking apart again, Novak couldn’t believe that this was really happening. It just couldn’t be.

 

The door was ripped open and Jay-Z popped in: “Guys, the screen is working now.” He grinned when he saw Roger still holding Novak’s face while everyone else was frozen in place.

 

At his words, though, the gazes were shifting to the big screen above the buffet where footage of the show appeared. Everyone simply stared at that amazing moment during _[Freakum Dress](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HXySf-Fa3U) _ (video: 1.15), the guitar solo sounding even more amazing now. As Roger bent backwards someone was wolf whistling again, causing the Swiss laugh out loud. 

 

“That was an awesome remake, Roger”, Beyoncé grinned. “Hard rock really suits you.”

 

“I hate you for doing that”, one of the band members pointed at the screen, “while still head banging.”

 

Roger just smirked as he wrapped his arms around Novak, who only then noticed that Bibi was watching him. When she realized he was looking at her, the guitarist grinned broadly and pointed at the screen. “And you wondered why the sex is so good, eh?”

 

The room was filled with laughter and though Novak found himself blushing, he couldn’t help but join in. After that, everyone seemed to relax. Some of the dancers hurried to the buffet while most of the others were taking a seat.

 

It seemed like the most normal thing on earth as the Serb turned in Roger’s arms to look at him, leaning in for a long gentle kiss. “I love you.”

 

“And I love you”, Roger grinned at him. “This okay with you?”

 

Novak chuckled. “It’d be a little late to say no, but actually I love it very much. I don’t know, it feels great.”

 

“Hmm”, the Swiss hummed and pulled his body close. “I know what you mean.” They kissed again until Jay called out, claiming they should rent a room or finally sit down and party with them, which they did.

 

It turned out to be the damn best party Novak had ever attended. Sure, there was no alcohol, but they didn’t need it anyway. The atmosphere was through the roof, everyone overly excited after this pure awesomeness that had been Roger’s performance. It didn’t matter if one had been on stage or not, the Swiss was making it very clear that he valued the work of everybody.

 

Jay-Z and Beyoncé seemed extremely happy as well for their friend, the pregnant woman seemingly hugging Roger every five minutes or so. And Novak… The Serb didn’t think it was even possible to be any happier than he was in that moment. Roger had been brilliant, and he was _so_ proud of him.

 

The best about the night, though, was Roger. The man was so carefree, so impossibly joyful that it made Novak simply stare at him from time to time, taking in his smile and the beautiful glowing of his eyes. And then their coming out. Good Lord.

 

Okay, it was just in front of a limited amount of people, but it still got Novak’s heart to skip a few beats whenever he thought about it. There wasn’t a single moment throughout the party that Roger and he were not touching, even from time to time sharing a kiss that made Jay jokingly cover his wife’s eyes with his hands.

 

It was so wonderful to realize that everyone seemed happy for them, or rather for Roger. Also, speaking of coming out, Novak felt like this had been the last big step he’d needed to really understand that they were now in a relationship. Just the thought was making him want to giggle joyfully.

 

And Roger seemed just as happy about it all as Novak. The little gestures, the kisses on his cheek, the way his hand stroked gently over the Serb’s back - it all added up to the best evening Novak had ever had. Ever.

 

When the first party guests came over to Roger to say good-bye, the Swiss stood up and hugged each of them again, thanking them all quietly. He sat down again with one leg on each side of the bank, his arms winding around Novak and pulling him close against his chest. “Guys, before you go. Can you shut up about Novak and me for now, please?”

 

“No one knows yet?” Bibi asked and Roger shook his head before placing his chin on the Serb’s shoulder. “Then I announce ceremonially that I’ll castrate everyone who dares to say a word before Roger agrees.” She looked around daringly, causing everyone to nod quickly. “You all okay with that?”

 

Novak turned his head and stared at the woman, while Roger chuckled contently. “That’s exactly what I was hoping for, Bibi. Thank you. When was the last time I told you I love you, remind me again?”

 

“It’s been way too long ago, chéri, but I think he might have a problem with that.” Bibi nodded at Novak and chuckled amusedly as Roger kissed Novak on the side of his neck. “Anyway, I’m very happy for you two. I have to get into my bed now, though. Good night, everyone, and until tomorrow.”

 

“See you tomorrow, Bibi.” Roger now kissed Novak on the spot underneath his ear, eliciting a little shudder. “Do you have any idea of just how happy you make me?” The words were whispered in his ear, meant for only him to hear. Novak froze, for a moment simply overwhelmed.

 

He then turned to look at Roger, who was beaming at him in a way that made him look even younger than he still was. God. He couldn’t find any words, but it didn’t seem like the man expected him to say anything.

 

They cuddled back up, with Novak’s head ending up against Roger’s shoulder, but it didn’t take long until they all decided to go to bed as well. There was another concert the next day, after all, and Novak also really wanted to be alone with Roger as well.

 

It was after 2 a.m. by the time they made it to Roger’s hotel room, the Swiss leading the way in. The moment the door was closed, Novak found himself in a tight embrace, causing him to laugh lightheartedly. “That was an awesome night”, he whispered into Roger’s ear.

 

“It was definitely one of the best I’ve ever had”, Roger agreed and kissed him on his cheek gently before pushing Novak away a bit. “I’m glad you stayed for tonight.”

 

“Me, too. God, I can’t believe you kissed me in front of everybody.”

 

His words made Roger laugh. “I just couldn’t wait until we were alone and besides, I’m going to spend nearly every day in the next six months with them. It’d just be awkward if you were with me and we’d have to hide.”

 

“True”, Novak chuckled, his heart jumping in his chest once again. “Did Bibi mean what she said about castrating whoever sold us out?”

 

“Oh yes, she did”, Roger smirked. “She’s like a pit bull and everyone knows it. Our secret’s safe for now.”

 

“For now, huh?” Novak smirked as warm hands started stroking over his chest lightly, causing his heart to speed up a few beats.

 

“I’m not going to hide what I feel for you forever.” Roger’s smile was nothing short of astonishing. “Unless you’re into hiding and sneaking around. Then we could enjoy going down that road for a while.”

 

The young man laughed. “Maybe I am”, he chuckled amusedly. “But the thought of not hiding what I feel for you is much too tempting.”

 

The Swiss hummed contently. His hands were gliding over Novak’s stomach by now, slowly making the way further down. “Are you tired?”

 

Novak swallowed, his knees weak from the desire that washed over him all of a sudden. “Not really, no”, he breathed, a moan escaping him when Roger’s fingers dipped into the waistband of his jeans to pull him closer.

 

“Then I think we should make this night even more perfect, what do you think?” Roger’s face was in the crook of his neck now, gentle breath ghosting over the skin of his collar bone.

 

“I think that sounds like a very good idea.” Novak moaned at the light kiss that was pressed to the place where his neck met the shoulder. He was hard without Roger having done more than talk and pepper little kisses on his skin. _God_. “Roger…”

 

The Swiss ignored him as he let his hands glide over Novak’s side and to his back, while his lips were busy leaving a burning path along his neck. By the time Roger pushed his jacket down his shoulders, the young man was shivering with lust. With a rough voice he demanded: “Good God, kiss me already.” Roger chuckled and looked up at him for a moment, his eyes black from desire. Novak swallowed again.

 

Instead of doing what he’d asked, the older man carefully led Novak to his bedroom, where he took his time undressing him. Every inch of revealed skin was caressed, with Roger’s hands and lips, and it was driving Novak beyond crazy. Even when he was naked Roger still avoided his attempts of stealing a kiss, causing Novak to moan desperately.

 

“Patience, love”, Roger whispered against his shoulder before licking a line to his collar bone where he sucked on the skin lightly. Novak wouldn’t know how long he continued to tease him like this, or how they’d finally made it onto the bed. He was helping Roger undress and then found himself groan as their naked bodies melted together, the sensation turning his brain to mash.

 

They loved each other in the sweetest way. Roger was whispering little words of endearments into his ear while Novak just clung onto him, arms tightly wound around his shoulders. He’d been on fire ever since Roger had pulled him in. His vision was blurred by the time they picked up on speed, his nerves set alight from the lust circling through his veins.

 

Roger was right there with him and then they were hugging tightly, enjoying the aftermath while still connected intimately. Novak moaned into their kisses, their tongues deliciously gliding against each other in a hot dance as they slowly came down from their heights.

 

“This is definitely the best night of my life”, the Serb sighed heavily, meaning every word of it. There was just no way it could get any better than this.

 

Roger planted a kiss on his chest where his heart was beating, just to look at him a moment later with a beautiful smile on his face. “I’m glad.” He gently pulled out of Novak and got rid of the condom before turning them around, pulling the younger man on top of him. “How long will you stay in London? Your family’s getting irritated, I guess.”

 

Novak looked down at Roger for a while, thinking about what he should reply to that. He decided to go for the truth. “They don’t know I’m gay.”

 

His declaration brought him a lifted eyebrow. “Seriously?”

  
“Yeah, well”, Novak shrugged. “At least I never told them. I can’t believe they’d think there’s something going on between Jelena and me, but with my family I honestly don’t know.”

 

“For them to miss something like that, I guess they don’t really want to know as well.” It was a matter-of-factly statement and Novak couldn’t tell Roger that he was wrong.

 

“Probably, yes.”

 

The older man lifted his hands to gently frame his face, thumbs stroking over his cheeks. “What do you want to do?”

 

Novak needed a moment to realize that Roger was basically handing over the complete handling of their coming out to him. He was quick to clarify: “I’m going to tell them, what else?” He smiled softly when he saw the slight surprise on Roger’s face. “What, you thought I spent all my time thinking of you with jerking off? Most of it, but not all. I also did some thinking about what might be, all of the ifs… It wasn’t a major part, though.”

 

His words made Roger laugh out loud. “Now that’s good to know.”

 

Novak grinned. “I don’t intend on hiding anything, Roger”, he went on. “I think I’ll go easy and tell them that I’m gay first, without telling them that I’m in a relationship with you.”

 

“They hate me, don’t they?”

 

“I don’t think hate is the word of choice here. They just don’t like to be told to be quiet.” Roger laughed again, but didn’t say anything to that. He didn’t have to. “Listen, the reason why I haven’t told them yet that I’m gay doesn’t have anything to do with me being unsure. I tried having sex with a woman once and it just didn’t do anything for me. The reason is simply that I never had someone to bring home yet.”

 

They just looked at each other for a few minutes, Roger’s eyes just as full of emotion as Novak knew his own were, too. Eventually the older man cleared his throat, saying quietly: “Then it’s too bad they’re not going to like who you’ll be bringing home.”

 

Novak chuckled, but it was a bit breathy and he knew it. Roger _wanted_ Novak to bring him home to meet his parents. He wasn’t an expert in relationships, but even he knew that this counted as a big step.

 

“Look, Novak”, Roger leaned up to kiss him softly. “With my tour and the tennis and everything, how about we wait with me meeting your family until May? Maybe at your birthday.”

 

“And your family?”

 

“My parents have known that I’m bisexual pretty much from the time I found out myself, so they’ll be fine.”

 

“Will they be fine with me as well?”

 

Roger smirked. “You know, I’m kind of getting the impression that it’s a bit of a miracle that we’re here now, all naked and stuff.”

 

“A bit is a little understated, don’t you think?” Novak couldn’t stop the laugh. It really was funny.

 

“My parents will love you, just like I do”, Roger said after a while, making the young man blush a bit. “But I’d say we still have some time before we should think about the date and time.”

 

“Hell, yeah”, Novak groaned. Just the thought of meeting Roger’s parents was making him a nervous wreck. “Though I think I should talk to my parents rather sooner than later.”

 

“Well, considering your age that might be a good idea. I think you’re way past the best moment for a confession like that, anyway.”

 

Novak suggestively lifted an eyebrow. “ _My age_?” The tone in his voice caused the Swiss to burst out laughing, a deep and rich laughter that was very close to the most beautiful thing Novak had ever heard. “I’m going to show you something about my age, mister.”

 

Not that Roger really seemed to mind.

 


	11. Chapter 9

 

**November 29, 2011. London, Great Britain**

 

“Do you mind?”

 

“What?” Roger appeared from the bathroom, pointing with his toothbrush at Novak who was still lying in bed. “You staying here as long you want? Yes, I mind. It’ll be horrible.”

 

The Serb laughed at the look the man shot him, leaning his head on his hand as he stared at Roger wearing only his boxers. “Well, thank you very much. I was talking about the next few weeks, though.”

 

“What about them?” Roger walked back into the room to rinse out his mouth while Novak groaned loudly.

 

“For heaven’s sakes, I asked you five minutes ago if you’d be okay with me traveling with you for the next few weeks. Do you even listen to me?”

 

“Honey, you can’t just wake me with a blowjob and expect my brain to work again after only a few minutes.” The words made his cheeks turn dark red, but at least Roger didn’t see it as he turned on the shower. “Now, get in here so I can return the favor, and then we can talk.”

 

“I’m not going to say no to that.” Novak quickly made his way into the bathroom, but was frozen in place as he caught sight of the Swiss’ naked backside. His mouth was dry all of a sudden and he heard himself moan when Roger bent forward to pick something up from the ground of the shower.

 

“Are you going to stand there forever?” Roger glanced at him over his shoulder, the fire in his eyes enough to get Novak completely hard.

 

“You got condoms in there?” His voice was as rough as Novak had ever heard it, but damn was he hard and he couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

“Plural, huh? I like that.” A moment later Novak stepped under the spray of water and was pulled into a hot kiss right away that had him groan loudly. Roger’s body was already wet and slick, his skin as warm and soft as it was whenever Novak touched him.

 

Before he could relish in the sensation of the man’s broad chest underneath his fingers all too much, though, Novak was carefully pinned against the shower wall. Roger stepped back a little, separating their bodies aside his hands on Novak’s upper arms, making him whimper in complaint.

 

“What…?”

 

“Don’t. Move.” Roger brought his mouth close to his ear, licking over the shell when Novak breathed in to reply something. “I mean it, Djokovic. Don’t move.” The use of his last name had him shaking with desire, even more so than the dark tone in Roger’s voice.

 

“Fuck”, he gasped involuntarily, but pressed his lips together a moment later.

 

“Not yet.” The words made Novak moan quietly as the water washed over them, encasing them both. His cock was throbbing and he wanted nothing more than for Roger to touch him in that moment. “Tell me what you want.”

 

Novak’s snort sounded a bit ragged. “You want me to state the obvious?”

 

“Yes”, Roger’s breath was ghosting over the skin of his ear and neck. “I want you to tell me how bad you want me on my knees right now.” A whimper left the Serb’s throat – God, this shouldn’t sound so damn sexy coming from Roger. “Or how bad you want me inside you. Kissing you. Touching you. Stroking you. Did I forget something?”

 

There was no way he was so turned on from only these words, but goddamn it, Novak was and he knew exactly where this was heading. “Bastard”, he gasped, his hips jerking forward involuntarily as he tried to get some contact, just _something_. “I thought you wanted to return the blowjob.”

 

“By making you come. I didn’t say how”, Roger chuckled into his ear now and it was making Novak grunt. The skin on his ear was becoming oversensitive and the older man knew it. He went on whispering filthy and dirty things, using his words so deliberately that it was simply too good to not react to it.

 

After a while, Novak had to grasp Roger’s arms where he could reach them, or his knees would have given away under his weight. He laid his head against the wall behind him and just listened to the man’s voice, feeling slightly embarrassed knowing that he was about to come without having been touched once aside one short kiss.

 

But God was it good. There was something incredibly turning on about hearing Roger say the things he did. Novak still wished he could reach down to touch his leaking cock, but he loved every moment of what was an outright torture.

 

He moaned lowly when he was so close he could feel the prickling in his stomach. It was then that Roger touched him for the first time, his mouth sucking lightly on the skin right underneath Novak’s ear. It was enough to make him come against Roger’s leg. His cock pulsated and then there was a hand, making him groan as he was expertly milked until he was completely spent.

 

A second later Roger turned him around, his hard cock pushing into Novak’s limp body with ease. He hadn’t even noticed him putting on the condom. “ _Now_ I’m going to fuck you”, the Swiss whispered and pushed him up against the wall even more as he started snapping his hips against Novak’s. The thrusts were hard right from the start, but with his relaxed post-coital muscles Novak could take it without too much pain.

 

His ability to hear slowly returned and the young man listened to the grunts and groans as Roger took him relentlessly, Novak’s own whimpers barely audible because of his lack of breath. His cock was starting to get hard again due to Roger nailing his prostate with every thrust, but it were the sounds that filled the shower that really turned him on once again.

 

Novak could feel how close Roger was. In desperate need of some friction himself, the Serb pressed his forehead against the wall, lifting one arm to place beside his head. He somehow managed to balance himself like that and groaned loudly when his free hand closed around his cock. It was like heaven, finally getting some contact there and he could hear Roger laugh breathlessly.

 

“Shut up”, Novak gasped, “and fuck me… harder.”

 

“Whatever you want”, Roger mumbled against his shoulder and shortly after Novak was screaming in delight, throwing his head back until he was tightly pressed against the Swiss’ chest. They raced towards orgasm and Novak felt exactly as Roger started coming into the condom, the sensation enough to send him over the brink as well.

 

He leaned heavily against Roger in the aftermath, trusting the man’s ability to keep them both up. Arms wound around his waist, soft cock still nestled comfortably inside him as Roger heavily panted against his neck. The water washed away the sweat and Novak sighed happily, feeling way too good to want to move.

 

“Didn’t you want to talk about something?”

 

Novak chuckled. “Smartass.” He could imagine the smirk on Roger’s lips and turned his head to reach up for them, involving the older man in a slow burning kiss. “I love you.”

 

“That the post-coital bliss talking?”

 

“Maybe.” Novak’s laughter ended in a gasp as Roger pulled gently out of him. “You know, that _was_ incredible.”

 

“Yeah, I know”, Roger said matter-of-factly and kissed him on the back of his neck. The Serb only grinned at that all new arrogance. “You really want to travel with me for a while?”

 

Novak turned and looked at Roger who was grabbing one of the shower gel bottles and poured some on his hand. “Why wouldn’t I?” They stood close as gentle hands stroked over his body, causing Novak to close his eyes in delight. “God, this is good.”

 

“It’s not exactly going to be very exciting”, Roger explained and washed himself as well while Novak enjoyed the view. “There’s the concert, then either a bed, or a plane and then a bed, a lazy day and then another concert. You don’t have to waste your holidays.”

 

“A lazy day sounds just fine to me, and I still have a hell of a lot of DVDs to watch and books to read.” Novak smiled and leaned in for a long kiss. “And I don’t know how being with you can be a waste of my time.”

 

Roger didn’t say anything as he moved in for another kiss, showing Novak without words how much that meant to him. His arms ended around the Swiss’ neck and he brought their bodies together again, causing Roger to moan lowly. When they broke apart for air, Novak whispered: “Didn’t you hint on having more than one condom in here?”

 

Roger’s groan vibrated in every fiber of his body. “There are.”

 

“Good.” Attaching his mouth to the man’s neck, Novak took his time making love to Roger. He wanted to make it clear just how much he was going to appreciate their time together. And from the way the older man let go, not bothering to suppress one single sound that wanted to leave his throat, Novak really hoped he’d gotten through to him.

 

Still, when they were back in bed with several hours left before Roger had to leave for his second concert, Novak needed to say it again. “I’ll love being with you in between your concerts. I love that happy smile on your face.”

 

“Who said that smile has anything to do with my concerts?” Roger smiled at him, his words making Novak’s heart beat faster.

 

“You loved your first concert.”

 

“I love you more.” They kissed softly for a few minutes, relishing in their closeness and Novak just wanted to roll on top of Roger when a knock sounded from his door. “Crap.” Roger quickly stood up and started dressing, causing the Serb to huff.

 

“I’m hurt. How can you just jump out of bed like that and leave me lying here naked?”

 

Roger burst out laughing, his eyes sparkling as he shot him a side glance. “Get dressed, that’s Jay and Bey, and I might get tempted knowing your sexy ass is still naked.”

 

“You wouldn’t kick them out, anyway.” Novak’s voice was undeniably rough and he swallowed as Roger leaned on the bed for a steamy lick over his lips.

 

“Look at me like that some more and I might just do it”, he whispered suggestively, but was gone a moment later. The bedroom door closed and Novak only awoke from his trance when he heard familiar voices, quickly standing up as well to get dressed and find out the reason the couple was there.

 

~~~****~~~

 

“The reviews are insanely good”, Bey just said as Novak stepped out of the bedroom, smiling at him once she saw him. “Hi there. So you _were_ still in bed. Roger, Roger, you bad.”

 

The man didn’t bother looking up from where he was sitting on the couch, several papers in his hand that he was reading while Novak’s cheeks shamelessly betrayed both of them. At Jay-Z’s laughter, though, Roger finally did glance up and rolled his eyes at the Serb: “Remind me to never play poker in one team with you. I’d lose all my money.”

 

“Shut up.” Considering Roger’s income that really was an insult, but at least Bey and Jay had fun. “What are you reading?” Novak plopped down on the couch beside the older man, slinking an arm around his shoulders as he leaned in to take a look. After a few seconds he remarked dryly: “I like the sex reference there. True enough.”

 

Now Bey and Jay really cracked up at the glare that Roger shot him for that, they obviously had already read the article. Novak grinned innocently, but really, it was too fitting: _‘A slow build-up surely is not Roger Federer’s thing. Instead he started the show off with a bang and managed to hold that level of quality throughout the complete set. If this is even remotely close to what sex with the Swiss superstar is like, then hallelujah.’_

 

“This is crazy”, Roger just said to that, but Bey just waved at him.

 

“Nope, that actually is a raving success. Every single review of last night I’ve read so far has been positive, everyone loved it.”

 

“No, I mean this is really just crazy. Who wouldn’t imagine sex with me being exactly like that?” Roger snorted and the others burst out laughing. Novak’s head landed on his shoulder as he tried to compose himself, his heart jumping slightly when he felt the older man place a kiss in his hair.

 

He looked up at Roger, not at all surprised by the broad smirk on his lips and before he could even open his mouth, Novak said: “I’m so not going to say anything to that right now, baby.”

 

Roger just stared at him as he snatched the papers out of his hands, inwardly grinning while Bey and Jay probably had the laugh of their day. Novak immersed himself in the read, kindly handing over the texts he was through with which made Roger chuckle amusedly as he accepted them. “I see we’ll never have a fight about the newspaper.”

 

The two men went through the articles one after the other and eventually Novak concluded as he gave Roger the last one: “All this praise is just going to blow his ego, and I already wonder how he makes it through the doors.”

 

“Shut up”, it was Roger’s turn to say that now and Novak laughed as he was shoved to the side gently. A moment later they were both trying to tickle the other while dodging the opponent’s attempts, all the while laughing breathlessly.  

 

“Uhm, guys, we get it”, Bey said quickly before they could get too distracted. “And I promise we’ll be gone very soon. We just need to know, is Novak going to come with you now or not, Roger? Dan needs to take precautions if so, after all.”

 

Roger looked at Novak for a moment, who just smiled back and nodded. “Yeah”, the Swiss then said, eyes never leaving his. “He’s coming with me for a while.”

 

“That’s great”, Jay-Z smiled and stood up. “Now we’re leaving again. Was great to see you two for… uhm, yeah, all of fifteen minutes.”

 

“Felt much longer to me, too”, Roger shot back coldly and saw his still laughing friends out while Novak waved goodbye. “So, how long?”

 

“Until I can’t keep my hands off you anymore? A matter of minutes.”

 

Roger smirked. “I meant how long you want to accompany me. It’s four weeks until Christmas.”

 

“Uhm, depending on whether I can squeeze in some Christmas shopping I’m going to say until one week before the holidays?” Novak grasped Roger’s hand as he was sitting back down beside him, pulling him close. “But I guess it’d be like an official press release if I were spotted in the same cities that you’re touring, huh?”

 

“Unless you have a really good explanation, yeah, I think so.”

 

“Then I’ll do online shopping”, Novak shrugged and moved to sit on Roger’s thighs lightly, his arms ending up around his neck. “Told you it was just a matter of minutes.”

 

“Yeah, you did”, Roger chuckled as he lifted his hands to gently frame Novak’s face. “I love you.” There was a look in his eyes that took the young man’s breath away and something about all of this was feeling wrong. He thought back to their day so far and then it struck him. While it was so natural for him, wanting to spend as much time as he could with the man he loved, Roger didn’t seem to think that Novak would really want to, what had he said, waste his holidays like that.

 

“Do you really think there’d be any other place I’d rather be during the next weeks?” Brown eyes jerked from his for only a split second, but it was telling Novak everything he needed to know. “Why?”

 

Roger stared at him, his gaze almost too intent to be true. A heavy sigh left the Swiss’ throat. “God, I hate this”, he mumbled, not even close to meeting Novak’s eyes. “Look, I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t be staying if you didn’t want to. Just forget it.”

 

Novak moved back a bit and placed his hands on a broad chest. “I already forgot about the cheating. I’m not going to let this go, because I want you to understand that I love to have as much time with you as I can.” Placing a finger under Roger’s chin he gently lifted his head to have him look at him and he finally did. “You were hurt. I get it. You don’t want to talk about it now, I get that as well.”

 

“This isn’t about me having been hurt”, Roger sighed and before Novak knew it he was leaning up to kiss him on the cheek gently. “This is about me not wanting to hurt you.”

 

“Then I’d say you’re doing really great, because you’re a far cry from that”, the younger man smiled, hoping his voice was as full of assurance as he wanted it to be. Novak then moved closer again and laid his head on Roger’s shoulder comfortably after pressing a light kiss on his neck. “I love you. You don’t hurt me by letting me take part in your life.”

 

“Okay”, Roger said to his utmost surprise, his arms winding around Novak’s waist to pull him close. “Okay. I believe you, and I’m actually very happy that you’re going to stick around.”

 

“See? That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.” The Serb smiled at the little chuckle he got, feeling relieved beyond words. “You want to watch some TV until you have to go?”

 

“Sure”, Roger agreed and five minutes later they were comfortably lying on the couch, both of them on their sides with the Swiss close against Novak’s back. It was late afternoon when they ordered an early dinner, after all Roger had to leave for his concert soon. Novak also got some snacks for later since he really shouldn’t order room service from Roger’s room when Roger was at the O2.

 

They said goodbye for over five minutes, sharing long and deep kisses, and Novak had a feeling Roger wanted to leave even less than he wanted him to go. On the other hand, the Swiss was also looking forward to his concert and they smiled at each other when he finally made it through the door.  

 

Novak breathed in deeply once he was enwrapped in silence. He wasn’t so sure anymore where exactly they were standing right now, but he refused to be worried. Roger had said that he loved him several times and Novak could see it in his eyes. And the rest they’d work through, he was sure of that.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Novak definitely counted the first three weeks of Roger’s world tour as some of the best of his life. Roger had been right. The days were pretty similar to each other, no matter what city they were in, and they were in _a lot_ of cities. Great Britain and Ireland, then South-Western Europe, Eastern Europe, Western Europe, Middle Europe…

 

The young man lost track of where exactly they were at a given day, but it wasn’t like Roger was much better. It didn’t matter, anyway. They’d wake up around noon and make love before ‘breakfast’, then again afterwards. The days were mostly spent in bed or in front of the TV, often enough at the same time.

 

Then Roger would leave for his concert. For most of the dates Lynette Federer was there to support her son, but when she decided to go home to Switzerland for Christmas preparations, Novak got to come with Roger a few times as well.

 

He loved it even more than the first time. Most of the crew knew about them, the ones close to Roger anyway, so he got to see a lot of the stuff that went on backstage. They didn’t have to be all that careful about hiding as well, so Novak enjoyed these days even more than the ‘normal’ ones.

 

When Roger came back after his concert they’d love each other for most of the night, both of them unable to keep their hands off the other. Novak had never been happier. Roger _wanted_ him, and God did he show it to him. Some magic always pulled them back together, and the sex was beyond good. It was magical.

 

Also, after a few days, Roger seemed to start to believe that Novak _really_ didn’t regret to be staying with him. They both tried to make sure there was more to their day than sex, but it didn’t always work out. Still, the days were worth more than anything and Novak knew they felt it both.

 

By the time the Serb decided to finally fly home, he was feeling more melancholic than ever before. He didn’t want to leave. Full stop. Then again he had only called his family after the World Tour Finals to tell them that he’d decided to go on a vacation, without much detail, and Novak knew he had some things to explain.

 

It was so damn hard to go, though. There was a talk about his sexual orientation he could look forward to, and though that really sounded like fun – maybe in some other universe -, Novak just didn’t want to leave Roger alone.

 

After the insecurity about Novak’s willingness to spend his holidays travelling all around Europe, the two men had grown much closer. They’d spent hours just looking at each other, quietly telling little stories about their life, all sort of things that had them both laughing with amusement.

 

“I don’t want to go.” Novak sighed, his head lying comfortably on Roger’s chest as they lay under the sheets, both of them naked after intense love-making. It was the last night before the Serb’s flight to Belgrade and there was no way either of them was going to sleep anytime soon. “I could cancel my flight again.”

 

“But you won’t”, Roger chuckled amusedly, though there was sadness in his voice as well. “Your family deserves some time with you for Christmas.”

 

Novak grunted. He loved his family, really, but not in that moment. The kiss on the top of his head had him smile nonetheless.

 

“I’m going to miss you”, the young man whispered quietly, trying not to sound like he was about to start crying.

 

“Me, too”, Roger gave back softly and tightened his grip around him. “This is so fucked up. Really.” Novak laughed at that, but quickly shut up when the Swiss went on: “You could always come to Switzerland if you want.”

 

Looking up from his most favorite place in the world, Novak stared at Roger disbelievingly. “Seriously?” When the man nodded he immediately added: “Done. When?”

 

His reply brought him one of those laughs that he loved so much. “I don’t know. What’s your usual Christmas like?”

 

“The whole family eats at ours on Christmas Eve and spends the next two days with digestion”, Novak summed up and got another laugh. “And yours?”

 

“Well, we have our family dinner on Christmas Eve as well, so I’d say that’s pretty ideal if we’re going to meet up.”

 

“Definitely”, Novak smirked and a moment later he was on top of Roger, looking down at the beautiful man underneath him. “I’m currently very tempted to disappear right after Christmas dinner.”

 

“That’d be horrible manners”, Roger pointed out, but swallowed at the look the Serb shot him.

 

“You going to do something about it?” His voice was dark and Novak loved the shiver it elicited from the older man. He felt exactly what he was doing to Roger. “So it’s a deal. I’ll see when I can sneak out.”

 

“You’re such a bad boy”, Roger whispered, but didn’t seem to mind at all. “I love that.”

 

“I’m sure you do. I’ve noticed.” Novak smirked, making the older man grumble and a moment later they rolled around, Roger’s full weight pressing him into the mattress. “God, I love this”, he moaned lowly as he stared up into deep brown eyes. “You feel so good.”

 

“Hmm”, Roger hummed and reached down for a long kiss. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

 


	12. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Novak comes home and tells his parents.

 

 

Coming home had never felt so wrong. Usually Novak took a deep breath when he arrived in Belgrade, joyfully looking forward to spending time with his brothers and the rest of his family. Christmas was the one time during the year when really everyone who mattered to him was in Serbia, his beloved native country, but not this time.

 

There was a burden on his shoulders and Novak inwardly cursed himself for having waited so long to talk to his parents. Really, he felt silly about this, admitting his homosexuality at the age of twenty-four. Maybe he shouldn’t have waited until he had a reason to talk to them.

 

Damn it, he definitely shouldn’t have waited.

 

His arrival was already awful. It was late afternoon when his plane landed and after another two hours Novak finally opened the door to his childhood home, just to be greeted by a glare from his father.

 

A quick look around had confirmed what he’d already suspected: Marko and Djordje were pissed, and his parents anyway. Admittedly, it had been a bit shitty from him to announce his spontaneous holidays with only a short phone call. He also probably could have called in a couple of times.

 

Oh well.

 

“How nice of you to do us the honor of finally coming home”, Srdjan remarked snidely, right before re-immersing himself in the newspaper. Novak inwardly groaned. He knew it was senseless to talk to anyone now and so he decided to just go up to his room and put his stuff away.

 

He was halfway through his suitcase when his mother appeared in the doorway, saying without any greeting: “Your father’s mad.”

 

“It’s not like I can change that”, Novak replied and put his tennis bags in a corner.

 

“Where were you?”

 

“I told you I was on a holiday. Italy, if you want to know.” That was probably the only area Roger’s tour had not covered, so he went for that.

 

“Novak, what’s wrong with you? You may have been everywhere, but surely not in Italy.” His mother looked at him with a stern expression and Novak wasn’t sure what to reply. After a few seconds, Dijana sighed heavily. “If you don’t want to tell me, fine. I’ll be downstairs making dinner. I’ll call up when it’s done.”

 

She disappeared without giving him the chance of saying anything else. Novak finished unpacking and was just doing his laundry when he heard one of his brothers squeal in his room. “I KNOW WHERE NOVAK WAS!”

 

 _His cell._ Fuck.

 

“MARKO!” he screamed. “DJORDJE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!”

 

It was too late. The two youngest Djokovics were already downstairs in the kitchen and from their quick and excited talking they’d already told all the world. At least he knew Roger hadn’t attached his name to what was probably a text message. His father would already have exploded.

 

Novak entered the kitchen and saw his two idiot brothers on both sides of their mother, who was looking up at him with way too much understanding in her eyes. At least now she knew where he’d been during the last three weeks…

 

He picked the phone out of Marko’s hand and smacked him on the back of his head with the other. After a similar treat to Djordje he glared at his brothers. “What the fuck was that about?”

 

“No such words, Novak”, his mother said, but failed any attempt of wholeheartedness. It made Novak cringe.

 

“Why were you in my room?” He glared at Djordje, knowing Marko wasn’t as afraid of him anymore as he used to be.

 

“Uhm, we wanted to talk to you and then your cell beeped…”

 

“And in your sick heads you two thought it might be your business or what?” Novak was furious. God only knows what that text message could have been about.

 

“What’s your big problem?” Marko chuckled. “From that text it sounds like you had a great time during the last weeks. Makes me think you’d be much more relaxed than that.”

 

Oh, how Novak hated it when he felt himself blush. At least his mum had some fun.

 

“It’s none of your business”, he snarled. Both his brothers shrugged.

 

“You used to spend your time before Christmas with us. I’d say it’s our business to know what was so much better than spending quality time with your beloved brothers.” Marko smirked: “But I guess you still had some other sort of quality time with that chick of yours, uh?”

 

Novak was just short of going off when their mother raised her hands, cutting them all off: “Enough. Marko, Djordje, you won’t touch Novak’s stuff again. And you, Nole, don’t be so hard on your brothers. They missed you.”

 

“Well, I surely didn’t miss them”, Novak replied, but only got his brothers to laugh again.

 

“You were too busy with other things, hmm?” Marko grinned broadly while Djordje was about to suffocate on his giggles.

 

_I hate them._

 

“If you two touch my stuff again, I swear to God you’ll regret the day you were born.” Novak glared at his brothers again before walking out of the kitchen, not at all up for a little chat with his mother.

 

Marko and Djordje came running after him, though, but before they could say anything Novak turned and smacked them both on the forehead, not nearly as hard as he wanted to.

 

“OUCH!” they complained simultaneously. “What the…?”

 

“You deserve much more than that”, he growled. “What the fuck was that about? Have you both lost your fucking brains or what?”

 

“Shut up, Nole. You’re an asshole and you know it.”

 

“So this is your revenge or what? For what, I was on a damn vacation. I’ve had a long season, I have a right to some time off.”

 

“You were busy nailing that new girlfriend of yours”, Marko smirked and Novak inwardly grinned. _If you only knew…_ “Something serious? Who is she, anyway?”

 

“Very serious, and like fuck am I going to tell you anything.” With that the oldest of the brothers turned and walked up the stairs, refusing to listen as Marko called out for him. He disappeared into his room and locked the door, double-checking before getting his phone out.

 

He wanted to finally read that damn text that had brought him into trouble in the first place. It probably was a lucky coincidence Roger had a new cell number and Novak had yet to add the number to his phone book.

 

_Hope you got home safely. I’m not really sure I’ll remember how to take off my clothes all by my own tonight, but maybe I’ll surprise myself… Miss you already._

 

Novak laughed. _God_.

 

_Flight was fine. My idiot brothers found my cell. Thank God you didn’t bother with a signature._

 

_I thought you’d figure who the text was from. They tell your parents?_

 

_They screamed loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear. I’m going to kill them._

 

_Poor you. Don’t kill them, though, I’m not into prison sex. At all._

 

They exchanged some more messages until a soft knock sounded from his door. “Nole?” His mother. _Have to go. Love you._ “Can I talk to you for a moment?”

 

_What on earth could she want to talk to him about, hmm…_

 

Putting his cell back in his pocket, the young man stood up from his bed and went to open the door, deciding it might be for the better to talk to her now. At least it couldn’t hurt.

 

“Come in”, he held the door open for her before closing it again, not at all trusting Marko and Djordje to not overhear.

 

“Don’t be mad at your brothers”, Dijana said, but the smile on her face told Novak that’s not why she was there. Rightfully so. “They are just so excited, as am I. Why didn’t you tell us you were with a girl?”

 

 _No girl maybe?_ “Uhm…”, Novak started, but didn’t really know where to go from there.

 

“Honey, we all suspected that Jelena isn’t really your girlfriend, anyway, so it’s okay”, Dijana said lightly, surprising Novak with how easy she seemed to take that fact.

 

“You did?”

 

“Well, she never slept in your room when she was here, so it was pretty obvious.” Fair enough.

 

“Does Dad know?”

 

“Sure”, his mum looked at him oddly. “Why wouldn’t he? He’s not blind, you know.”

 

“Yeah, I know”, Novak sighed, knowing all too well just how much Srdjan Djokovic really saw, especially things he wasn’t supposed to see. Well, excluding the sexuality of his oldest son. “And you two don’t mind that I haven’t told you?”

 

“We wondered why you would let us believe that there’s something going on, but we thought you’d have your reasons.” Oh, these he had. “So tell me, who’s that new girl of yours?”

 

Novak suppressed a groan. God, he couldn’t do this. He could only barely bite his tongue about all these girl comments from his family. It felt so wrong he wanted to throw up. “Mum…”

 

“Look, I know you don’t want to talk about it, I can see that. I’d just like to ask if it’s something serious, or just a fling? Not that it’s important, you’re young and…”

 

“It’s something serious”, Novak said automatically, his heart actually jumping in his chest when he thought about how true that was. “Very serious.”

 

His mother came over and hugged him tightly, all the while beaming up at him. “That’s so wonderful, baby. You’ll have to tell us more at dinner, Srdjan is just as curious as I am.”

 

“Mum…”

 

“I have to take care of our dinner now. It’ll be done in about ten minutes, I’ll call you down.” And with that his mother left him alone again. After a few seconds of staring at the door, Novak could only groan.

 

Now this would be a really fun evening.

 

Dinner was just awful, though he was sure that he was the only one feeling like that. Novak had spent the ten minutes until his mother had called him down with thinking about how he should address the subject of his sexuality. Unsurprisingly he hadn’t had a clue.

 

To just go for it the moment he came down the stairs seemed a bit rude, after all Novak didn’t want the dinner to fall through. So, the only other option had been to wait for everyone to finish eating and then find a way to interlace a suggestive comment, something subtle.

 

At least on paper that would have worked.

 

In reality, though, Novak found himself on edge most of the time. His brothers were jerks, seriously. They enjoyed pissing him off way too much, but then again he’d really left them hanging these last few weeks. So maybe he deserved at least some of it.

 

The happiness of his parents, though, was just too much. His mother seemed honestly delighted about his new relationship, as did his father. Novak felt torn. He didn’t want to take that away, but he just couldn’t live with the girlfriend comments. It simply felt too wrong to bear, and most of all it wasn’t fair to Roger.

 

If only Marko and Djordje hadn’t found his cell, then maybe he could have found a better moment than this. _Idiot_ , he inwardly chided himself, _you’ll never find a better moment. Suck it up and get on with it._

 

“… do you think, Nole?” His father’s voice ripped him from his musings and Novak looked up from his plate.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Are you even listening?” Srdjan asked, causing Novak’s brothers to laugh once again. A glare prevented them from a stupid comment, thankfully. “We were just talking about when you could introduce your new girlfriend.” _Oh, great_.

 

He went on, naming some occasions he’d love for Novak to bring his new company with him, and eventually Novak couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

“For heaven’s sakes”, he burst out, interrupting his mother mid-sentence. “I wasn’t with a girl.”

 

“Oh c’mon, Nole, really”, Marko grinned. “That’s lame. We read that text, you definitely had your fun these last weeks.”

 

Well, that was it. “I did”, Novak said neutrally. “But not with a girl.” It was so quiet all of a sudden that you could hear a pin drop. Breathing in deeply, he decided to go all the way and get it out finally: “I was with a man. I’m gay.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

Novak was on his bed, staring up at the ceiling as his thoughts were spinning so fast it almost made him dizzy. God, he’d thought about this day so often and he couldn’t believe that it had finally happened.

 

He knew it wasn’t true, but he felt like his father hated him. God, the way Srdjan had looked at him after his words… Novak knew he’d never forget that look again. It hadn’t been hate, not really, and he refused to think that something like this would actually make his own father outright hate him.

 

Disappointed he was, yes, but Novak could live with that. After all he’d lied to his parents pretty much all his life, so it was an understandable reaction. The disgust part had been a lot harder to take in. He didn’t think his father was homophobic, but he definitely didn’t like the idea of a man fucking his son.

 

Dijana and his brothers had just stared at him. Even Marko had shut up, finally, looking as though he’d seen a ghost. Everyone had been shocked and after a few moments Novak had decided to leave the table, putting his dishes away before walking up to his room.

 

It didn’t feel good, going to bed like this, but Novak hadn’t exactly had a choice. He was surprised Srdjan hadn’t already kicked him out, so keeping a low profile would be a good idea until the storm had settled.

 

If it would settle.

 

His cell vibrated in his jeans and despite his foul mood, Novak had to smile at Roger’s timing.

 

_I hope you’re okay. Can’t wait to see you again. I love you._

 

Tears were in his eyes and Novak blinked repeatedly. Damn it. This day shouldn’t be so fucked up, after all he’d just spent three weeks with the man he loved and he was supposed to be happy.

 

Something came to his mind that had the Serb sigh heavily. At least he wasn’t alone anymore. And God was that a good feeling, because he knew, whatever happened with his family right now, Roger would be there for him.

 

The thought made him grin like an idiot. There were no words to describe how fucking good this felt, and Novak couldn’t await the moment he’d see the Swiss again.

 

A knock on his door. “Nole, can I come in?”

 

“It’s open”, the young man said without moving, not at all surprised at the fact that his mother was first to talk to him. He heard Dijana come in and close the door again, and then only silence. Novak tried to imagine what she was thinking in that moment, but he just couldn’t, and so he waited for her to start.

 

“Why haven’t you told us?” It surprised Novak just how neutral his mother’s voice was. There wasn’t a hint of judgment and it made him relax, at least a little bit.

 

“What do you think?”

 

“Novak”, Dijana sighed. “You’re twenty-four. Didn’t it occur to you that you might want to talk to us sooner?”

 

“It has”, the young man admitted, but didn’t elaborate.

 

“And why haven’t you? I thought you knew you could talk to me.”

  
There was first hint of emotion in Dijana’s voice and Novak was astonished to realize it was hurt. He sat up immediately and looked at his mother for the first time since she’d come in. “I know that”, he said firmly and frowned. “I haven’t been hiding this, not really. I haven’t waved a flag, yeah, but I never brought home even one girlfriend.”

 

“You brought home Jelena.”

 

“I introduced her as my best friend, sure as hell not as my girlfriend, and you said yourself that she never slept in my room.” Novak shrugged. “And besides, it’s not like I’ve had a real relationship that would make me have to tell you.”

 

“But you do now.”

 

They looked at each other for a moment before Novak said quietly: “Yes, I do. I love him, and he loves me. I’m sorry I haven’t told you about me being gay before, but this is how it is, and I don’t care about what you say about it.”

 

“Oh, Nole”, his mother sighed and then she was sitting beside him on his bed, pulling him into a tight hug. “I don’t care if you’re straight or not. I care about you lying to me, but as you said, you haven’t really. Still, I just wish you’d told me.”

 

Only now that he heard these words did Novak realize just how scared he’d really been to tell his parents about his homosexuality. It honestly shouldn’t be that big a deal, but in Serbia it was and with the reaction of his father the young Serb couldn’t help the feeling that it’d been right to wait until that exact moment.

 

Novak didn’t even want to think about how he’d feel if he hadn’t had Roger in that moment. The thought of the older man gave him a feeling of security and he could trust that he wouldn’t be alone, no matter what. Who knew how he’d feel in that moment if he’d brought this up sooner, without the reliability of someone who loved him.

 

“You were scared to tell us.” He hadn’t even noticed that Dijana had released him, now looking sadly at him.

 

“You saw the look on Dad’s face”, Novak sighed. “Yeah, I think I was scared.”

 

“Srdjan loves you.” His mother ruffled through his hair lovingly, like she’d done so often when he’d been a child. Novak had to admit that he sometimes even missed it. “He’s shocked, and so was I. God, you’re twenty-four, honey, what do you expect? We were more or less married at that age.”

 

Novak snorted, but he got where his mother was coming from and she was right. “Yeah, I know”, he admitted. “Though my life isn’t exactly made for marriage.”

 

It was a very little lie. Admittedly, the constant touring wasn’t ideal for a relationship with anyone outside the tour, but for Roger and him it was the best that could have happened to them. He knew what Dijana was thinking, though, and he let her. She didn’t have to know yet who he was seeing, not even that it was another tennis player.

 

“Are you going to tell me who you’re seeing?”

 

“You want to know?” Novak was a bit surprised to see the honest curiosity on his Mum’s face. “So, you’re okay with this?”

 

“God, Novak”, Dijana chuckled amusedly. “Of course I’m okay with it. I’ll need some time to put my head around this because really, it is one hell of a shock, but I love you just the way you are.” A broad grin broke on her face after that. “You’re trying to distract me. I take it you’re not going to tell me who it is, then?” Novak shook his head. “Well, then I guess I’ll have to wait until you’re ready. And Novak?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Don’t ever be scared again of telling us something, understood? I’ll talk to Srdjan, but I’m sure he’ll calm down. It was just a shock to him.”

 

That didn’t explain the disgust Novak had seen in his eyes, but maybe he’d imagined that. Maybe his mother was right and it’d be okay. Especially if she’d talk to him. “Okay, Mum.”

 

“You’re not going to come back down, are you?” Dijana smiled at him, telling him it’d be okay either way.

 

“No, I’m tired. I think I’ll go to bed soon.”

 

“Then have a good night, baby.” Dijana leaned over and kissed him on the cheek, something she hadn’t done in quite a while. Novak smiled as she left the room, feeling a million times better than before.

 

He let himself fall on his back again and was just contemplating the thought of calling Roger and talk to him before going to sleep, but then his door opened again. Lifting his head, Novak saw the figures of his brothers in his doorway.

 

He lifted a questioning eyebrow, though he wasn’t exactly feeling as cocky as he acted. Marko and Djordje had yet to really react to his coming out, and Novak just hoped they’d be okay with it. If they were, he’d even let them crack a joke or two without killing them.

 

“We want to cheer you up”, Marko said and pushed Djordje into his room without asking if they could come in.

 

“I’m gay. The word itself would suggest I’m already quite cheery.” Novak couldn’t suppress his sarcastic remark and to his relief his younger brothers snickered amusedly. “You okay with that?” Why not just get it out of their way?

 

“To be honest, I knew.” Marko grinned broadly, but the way the boy beside him rolled his eyes made it clear he hadn’t had an idea. “Well, I didn’t”, he glared at Djordje. “Anyway, what I wanted to say, we don’t care.”

 

“Yep”, Djordje said and plopped down on the bed beside Novak. “And we’d like to thank you.”

 

Novak frowned as Marko sat down as well and then, out of nowhere, there were three bottles of beer, one of which was handed to him. “For what could you possibly thank me?”

 

“That look on dad’s face, seriously, it was hilarious”, Marko chuckled. “I’ve never seen him so dumbstruck.”

 

“Yours wasn’t bad, either”, Novak remarked snidely, but was too happy to pull through a serious face.

 

A moment later they raised a toast and then they were just talking, like they’d done so often before Novak had started travelling on the tennis tour. It was going to be a late night, but he didn’t mind at all. As much as he’d enjoyed his time with Roger, being home with his brothers was just something he didn’t do often enough.

 

Of course, Marko and Djordje tried to wheedle him into telling them who had ‘turned him around’, but Novak was wary. He made a mental note, though, to be extra careful about seeing Roger in the near future. His brothers loved challenges and he was pretty sure they’d try to figure out who it was all by their own.

 

There was no chance they’d get a room key before Novak had introduced Roger.

 

~~~****~~~

 

“Seriously, that pilot was insane”, Roger groaned and Novak grinned as he poured himself a coffee the next morning.

 

“What did he do?”

 

“First he drove the plane for about half an hour across the airport and joked: _‘The distance is 2,000 kilometer, but the good news is the first 300 meters are behind us’_. Then he played _‘Play to me the song of Death’_ right before take-off, and to top that off he did the safety briefing with the words: _‘Your life vest contains a cute lil’ reading lamp that’s activated by contact with water, as well as a whistle to attract sharks. And if something should happen – stop screaming!’_ Fucking hell, we didn’t even fly across the ocean!”

 

Novak couldn’t hold back his laugh as he took the first sip of his coffee after having put cream and sugar in it.

 

“That is not funny!” Roger groaned. “Wanna know what he did when we landed?”

 

“Tell me.”

 

“He just announced that we’d land in ten minutes, when the plane sank about a meter because of an air hole. And that bastard added, _‘And here we just took a short cut’_.”

 

Novak was laughing so hard he put his cup down, not wanting to spill his coffee. “Let me guess, you’ve hired him permanently.”

 

“Of course I did.” The smirk was all present in Roger’s voice and the Serb snorted.

 

“Do I have to get jealous?”

 

“Maybe you should. I’d very much love to show you right now that you don’t have to.” Roger’s dark voice sent a shiver through Novak, the images that were popping up in his mind almost making him moan. Only the little fact that he was in his parents kitchen in that moment stopped him.

 

“Remind me, when will I finally see you again?” The young Serb turned around to walk to the kitchen table, but froze when he saw his father leaning in the doorframe. _Oo_ _ps_.

 

“Sunday, I believe.” Roger’s voice made Novak jump slightly and for a second he thought about just hanging up. The expression on Srdjan’s face told him that he knew exactly who he was talking to. To be honest, Novak had no idea how long he’d been watched. “I think that’s what you said at least.”

 

Father and son looked at each other for a few seconds and somehow Novak felt himself relax. “I’m sure I did say Sunday”, he finally replied, breaking the eye contact to turn and look out the window. His voice was quieter now, but Srdjan could still hear every word, but he didn’t care. “I miss you, have I told you that?”

 

“Not today, I believe.” Roger was silent for a moment. “You’re not alone anymore, are you?”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“I can’t remember you letting a comment like that slide”, the older man remarked snidely, actually managing to make Novak blush via phone. “Besides, you sound a bit distraught. You going to be okay?”

 

There were no words to describe the jolt of love he felt in that moment, hearing the caring in Roger’s voice. “I will”, he gave back softly, not at all caring anymore that his father was hearing every word. “I love you.”

 

Maybe Roger was a bit surprised that he’d say that in front of someone from his family, he didn’t say anything for over ten seconds. Finally, he said with his voice so beautifully affectionate: “I love you, too. Call me if you want to talk, okay?”

 

“Well, thank you, I’m damn sure I will. See you soon.” Novak smirked and he could picture Roger doing the same as they both hung up. He grasped his cup and turned to walk to the kitchen table to sit down and grasp the newspaper.

 

“That was your guy?” Srdjan was taking a seat across from him, making Novak a little nervous, though he tried to tell himself he didn’t have to be.

 

“Yes”, he confirmed, not daring to point out that it had been fairly obvious. They stared at each other for a while and eventually the younger man sighed. “Look, Dad, I don’t expect you to be all cheery about this.”

 

“That’s very kind from you”, his father commented sarcastically, but before he could say something else, Novak went on.

 

“What I want you to know is that I’m sorry about just dropping the bomb like that, but the rest, that’s just who I am and you’ll have to live with that.”

 

“So, what you’re saying is that getting fucked from another man, just like a girl, turns you on?”

 

Novak’s jaw tightened and he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. Still, he couldn’t keep his anger out of his voice completely. “That wouldn’t be my choice of words, but basically, yes. That’s exactly what I’m into.”

 

His aggressiveness seemed to take Srdjan aback a bit and whatever else he’d wanted to say, it didn’t come. Novak took another sip of his coffee and returned to the newspaper, trying to force himself to relax.

 

Halfway through an article his father spoke up again: “I don’t like it.”

 

“You don’t have to”, Novak replied with a shrug, not missing the suppressed smirk on his father’s face.

 

“At least you had the balls to say it to my face.” Knowing his father, Novak was aware that this did count as a compliment, though it didn’t quite feel like one. “Who is it?”

 

The young Serb was a bit taken aback. “Why do want to know?”

 

Srdjan sighed and for the first time did Novak realize that they were more or less talking about his homosexuality. With no screaming, no fighting, no anything. Just a talk. Wow. “You’re not going to tell me that bastard’s name, are you?”

 

Novak snorted. “Now less than ever. I’d like to keep him alive a while longer.”

 

This time his words actually made Srdjan smirk and the young Serb inwardly sighed a sigh of relief. They were good. Maybe not perfect, but they’d be okay. Thank God.

 

“I expect to meet him on your birthday, at the latest”, his father then said and stood up from the table. “Or else I’m going to make your life miserable.”

 

Novak stared after the man and swallowed uncomfortably. At least the deadline correlated with Roger’s and his plans, but it was a deadline nonetheless.

 

Well, at least his father seemed a lot easier on the topic than he’d ever expected, so Novak just hoped Roger could make it to Belgrade on May 22, or else they’d have quite a problem.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Over the next five days Dijana Djokovic watched her oldest son very closely. She tried to find any sign of insecurity in Novak, anything to tell her that he wasn’t completely sure about his homosexuality, or about his new relationship.

 

What she found, though, was nothing but pleasing. Novak was happy. Of course Dijana had seen him kid around with his brothers before, so it wasn’t surprising that he laughed for hours when they had a snowball fight. Marko and Djordje were pretty content that he finally spent some time with them, and it seemed like Novak had missed that just as much as they had.

 

It was the quieter moments that showed her just how happy Novak was. She watched him every morning on the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hand and his cell in the other. There was no doubt who he was talking to so frequently, with the most beautiful smile Dijana had ever seen her son smile.

 

She knew that Novak always loved coming home for Christmas, but this year was the first time that it was clear that there was one place he’d rather be. When Novak told her that he wanted to get away after the Christmas dinner, Dijana didn’t even have to ask where to.

  
“Does he love you, too?” Maybe it wasn’t really her business, but as Novak’s mother she could see that her baby had lost his heart to this guy long ago. She needed him to reassure her that he wouldn’t get hurt, even though she’d surely reconsider that when she got to meet said man.

 

“Yes, Mum”, Novak smiled that all new brilliant smile of his. “He does. He’s wonderful. And it’s not like I’d fall for a jerk.”

 

Dijana couldn’t help her laugh. “No, you’re far too clever for that, that’s right.” She smiled softly at her son. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.” To her surprise Novak sighed, not jumping to his guy’s defense immediately. “What’s wrong, honey? He a jerk after all?”

 

“No”, Novak snorted amusedly. “It’s just… I’m not going to see him all that often in the near future.”

 

“Well, that was to be expected with the tennis tour”, the Serbian woman reasoned, not really sure what she should make of the expression that crossed Novak’s face. She let it slide, though. “But it’s not like you’re not going to see him at all, is it?”

 

“No, I’ll see him”, Novak looked like he didn’t even want to think about how he’d feel if that wasn’t the case. “Just not as often as I’d like to.”

 

“From experience I can tell you that it doesn’t have to be a bad thing to not see each other all that often for a while”, Dijana said enthusiastically, trying to cheer her baby boy up. “In the end it’s about what you make of the time you have.”

 

“I know that”, Novak smiled at her. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’ll miss him.”

 

“I understand, honey, and it’s okay if you really want to leave after Christmas dinner.”

 

“Really? I mean, I want to, but I already came home late and…”

 

“Novak, don’t be silly. You’re a grown man, if you want to spend the Christmas holidays elsewhere, so be it. We’d love to have you here until you have to leave for Abu Dhabi, but we all understand that this holiday is special for you. Do you have a present yet?”

 

“Uhm, yeah”, her son hesitated. “Kind of.”

 

“What is it, Novak. Spit it out.”

 

The young Serb mumbled something under his breath, but repeated it when Dijana looked at him pointedly: “I have roses delivered to his place on Christmas Eve.”

 

She wanted to kiss her Novak in that moment. “That’s brilliant.”

 

“Not really.”

 

“What do you mean, not really? Novak, please, how long have you been together?”

 

“A little over a month.”

 

“Then, my son, listen to me, he’ll love it. It’s a beautiful gift either way, but since you haven’t been together for that long, it’s the thought that counts and I’m sure he knows that.”

 

“He’s rich, Mum”, Novak sighed. “Very rich. He could buy a whole rose farm.”

 

“But he’ll love it because they’re from you.” Dijana smiled reassuringly at her son. “Don’t be silly, Novak. It’s not about the price and you should know that.”

 

“I want to get him something else, too, I just don’t know what.”

 

“Well, in your case I’d go with a scarf, a really good one. Believe me, he’ll love it. Men are a bit simpler than women in that regard.”

 

“It’s reassuring that you’re the one saying that and not me…”

 

 


	13. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Novak visits Roger in Switzerland for Christmas. The Federers show up as well.

**December 25, 2012. Wollerau, Switzerland**

 

It was past 4 a.m. when Novak quietly opened the door to Roger’s house, a sigh of relief on his lips as cozy warmth greeted him. Everything was dark, but he found the light switch right where Roger had described it, just like the key to the house before.

 

The Serb put his bags beside the door and locked it again. He then walked to the kitchen, badly needing a glass of water after the long trip to Wollerau. Novak had left the Christmas party at his parents’ house a bit later than he’d planned to, not wanting to seem rude. It had been his mother who had more or less kicked him out, knowing just how badly Novak had wanted to get going.

 

He’d decided to go by train and then take a taxi from Basel to where Roger lived. There were two more concerts in Europe that Novak would accompany the Swiss to this year, before they’d fly to Abu Dhabi together. So, no sense in bringing a car.

 

After downing the water – Roger had specifically said he should feel like home, though if he hadn’t died from thirst Novak would probably still not have touched anything -, he decided to leave his luggage where it was for now. He was simply too eager to finally see his lover again.

 

Making his way upstairs Novak’s heart seemed to want to jump out of his chest, and not at all because he was taking the stairs faster than he should in the dark. There was faint light streaming into the upper floor through the only open door, showing the way to Roger’s bedroom.

 

The man was fast asleep on his bed. He was on his side, body turned to the door and Novak just stood there for a few minutes, taking in the sight in front of him.

 

Roger was wearing simple jeans and a grey pullover, obviously having nodded off reading the book that was lying beside him. His features were relaxed and peaceful, while some of the thick brown strands falling over his forehead made Novak’s fingers twitch to stroke them back.

 

It felt so good to see the Swiss again and there was a loving smile on his face as Novak finally walked over to the bed, losing his jacket on the way. He sat down carefully, not wanting to wake Roger just yet.

 

Slowly lying down on his side, the young man tried not to make the mattress dip all too much. He placed the book mark on the page that was still opened and put the collection of poems, including Howl, by Allen Ginsberg on the nightstand. He was surprised to find an antique looking version of Cymbeline by William Shakespeare lying there, looking like it had been read recently.

 

It wasn’t at all the kind of literature he’d have expected Roger to read and certainly not something Novak would ever consider reading, but he forgot about it as he rested on his right elbow while reaching out with his left hand, gently stroking through brown hair and putting it back in order.

 

Roger was even more beautiful up close. Long dark lashes were touching his cheek, and these soft lips of his were looking just as tempting as ever. Novak leaned over to press a light kiss on his forehead, all the while continuing to lightly caress his face. God, he had missed this so much.

 

The Swiss sighed in his sleep, but didn’t wake. Novak thought about just going to sleep as well, he knew he wouldn’t have any problems dozing off. Then again he really wanted to see Roger’s eyes before sleep, at best steal a couple of kisses and refresh his memory of how it felt to lose himself in the sensation.

 

He didn’t want to wait until the next day for that, but just shaking Roger awake seemed a bit cruel, after all it was deep in the night. Thankfully, the older man made the decision for him. By the time Novak’s thumb was ghosting over his bottom lip, Roger stirred slightly and then blinked his eyes open, chocolate brown orbs clouded with sleepiness.

 

“Hey”, the Serb said softly, his heart skipping a beat at the smile that came up on the man’s face.

 

“Hey”, Roger whispered back, his voice rough from tiredness. “How late is it?”

 

“Half past four in the morning. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

 

After a long yawn Roger said with a little smirk: “I’m not.” They just looked at each other for a few seconds, both of them overwhelmed by the joy they felt at being together again. “C’mere.”

 

Roger slinked one arm around his waist, pressing Novak against his chest. The younger man hid his face in the crook of his neck and took a deep breath, a beloved familiar scent washing over him. He sighed heavily. “I’ve missed you so much.”

 

“I missed you too, Nole.” The kiss on the top of his head was so incredibly intimate, something Roger had started to do every time Novak was about to fall asleep. The Serb felt like being in the middle of a perfect moment and he didn’t dare to move. They stayed like that for minutes, just relishing the closeness of the other.

 

When he finally did lift his head again Roger was looking at him, one hand moving up to the back of his head to pull him in. A low moan left Novak’s throat the moment their lips met, a jolt of electricity shooting through him. God, he’d wanted to do this ever since he’d left Roger a week ago.

 

“God, I’ve missed this, too”, he mumbled into their kiss, just to involve Roger in another one. They were both tired, but that didn’t dampen their longing for each other. Clothes were slowly shed as they rolled around on the bed, both eager to feel more of the other.

 

Novak shivered when Roger pinned him beneath him, wanting nothing more than to feel him inside him. He was damn sure his father would have a meltdown knowing this, but as gentle fingers prepared him, the young man couldn’t find it in himself to care.

 

“God, you’re so tight”, Roger whispered in his ear, his breath impossibly hot against his skin. Kisses were peppered on his neck, his jaw, his cheek and Novak couldn’t remember ever having felt so loved. It was almost too much. The sensations were crashing down on him after a painfully long week of yearning for Roger.

 

“I love you”, he choked out as the older man lifted one of his legs to lie around his waist, moving into position. Novak reached up to grasp Roger’s face between his hands as he pushed in, inch for inch to make it easier for him. Their gazes were locked and although it hurt, the Serb refused to close his eyes.

 

He breathed deeply, trying to get through the worst as he just wanted Roger to start moving. The Swiss distracted him with hot kisses and Novak felt himself relax quickly, groaning loudly when Roger pulled out, just to thrust back into him again.

 

“I love you, too”, Roger whispered into his ear and set a steady pace that was way too slow for his liking. He kissed Novak everywhere he could reach, leaving his skin prickling pleasantly wherever his lips touched.

 

It was too much, so many emotions tumbling down on him and soon enough, Novak couldn’t hold back the flood of moans anymore. He was falling apart and Roger was right there to pick him back up. The young man’s cry sounded in the room when he came, soon joined by a deep long groan.

 

They lay in a tight embrace later, both of them still sweaty but too lazy to get up and take a shower. “My dad threatened to make my life hell if he doesn’t get to meet you on my birthday at the latest.”

 

Roger was silent for a moment and Novak lifted his head to place his chin on the man’s chest, fingers painting little signs of nothing on his skin. There was a loving expression in brown eyes as Roger finally answered: “Then I guess it’s beneficial I’ve made sure I’ll be all yours the week of your birthday.”

 

Novak felt his face break into a broad smile. It was weird, feeling so immensely happy at the fact that Roger had planned so far ahead because really, it was still almost half a year until May. This was how he felt, though, and to him it meant a lot. They just assumed they’d still be together by then and Novak loved that.

 

His eyes were starting to fall close soon after that. The feel of Roger’s body beside his again was just so soothing and comforting, especially combined with his relaxed muscles after their intense love making. “Go to sleep”, Roger whispered and kissed his forehead softly. “You must be tired.”

 

“Hmm”, Novak hummed and lay back down on Roger’s chest, his arm tight around his waist. “I love you.”

 

“Love you too, baby.”

 

~~~**** ~~~

 

“Thank you.” Novak smiled as he accepted his cup of coffee, laughing quietly when Roger moved closer, slinking an arm around him as he laid his head against his shoulder comfortably. It was past noon and they’d just gotten out of the shower, quickly pulling on some cloths before going down to get something to fully wake up. “How am I supposed to drink my coffee like this?”

 

“If that’s supposed to be a complaint, try wiping that smirk off your face first.” The Swiss didn’t even look up and Novak grumbled quietly.

 

“How do you even know I’m smirking? You could at least bother to look.”

 

“I don’t have to see to know you’re smirking”, Roger chuckled. “You’re anything but subtle.”

 

Novak grunted disapprovingly. “And the fact remains that I can’t drink my coffee like this.”

 

“Whatever.” With a kiss on his cheek the Swiss retreated, leaning against the kitchen island as he watched him take a little sip of the hot liquid. “You wanted me to get away from you for that little sip? You’re incredible.”

 

He tried, but Novak couldn’t hold back his laugh as he grasped the waistband of Roger’s jeans, pulling him closer again. “No, _you_ are incredible. You’re such a baby.”

 

“Well, you shouldn’t neglect babies for too long, so I can see some resemblance there.”

 

“Only you’re thirty and a little more self-dependant.”

 

“Just a little bit. A tiny itzy little bit.” Roger showed how small his self-dependence was with his thumb and index finger, leaving only a marginal space between them and Novak smacked him on the shoulder. They both laughed and drank their coffees silently until the young man moved in to kiss him gently.

 

What had been intended as a short peck of affection ended in a steamy fight of tongues that had Roger groaning in staged desperation. “You’ve got to be kidding me. We just did it in the shower.”

 

“Let’s do it here, too”, Novak returned and placed his cup far away on the counter, just to press Roger against it a second later. “And I’m really sorry I can’t keep my hands off you, if that calms you.” He stared into almost black eyes while his fingers made quick work of the Swiss’ jeans.

 

“You’re not”, Roger said with that sexy deep voice of his, causing Novak to shiver slightly.

 

“Damn right I’m not.” He moaned into their kiss, tongues clashing once again as Roger returned the favor of releasing Novak’s hardening cock from his own jeans. “I want you.”

 

“You had me like ten minutes ago”, Roger mumbled against his cheek, kissing a path to his neck where he sucked on that one point that had Novak go weak in his knees.

 

“Good God”, he gasped. “Ten minutes can be way too long when you do that.”

 

Roger chuckled and then he turned them around, abruptly lifting Novak onto the countertop and bringing their groins together. They both grunted and then they kissed again, the passion for each other simply overwhelming.

 

The older man impatiently unbuttoned half of Novak’s shirt before he just ripped the rest of it open, somehow managing that without tearing the buttons off. The Serb mewled in complaint anyway, but Roger didn’t stop.

 

He pushed the fabric down his shoulders, not even bothering to help him out of it completely. Novak wanted to say something, but the lips appearing on his naked skin were just too good at what they were doing.

 

Wet open-mouthed kisses on his neck, his shoulder and the upper part of his chest had him trembling with desire by the time Roger pulled his jeans down further. “You planned this, didn’t you.” The Swiss looked up at Novak as he helped him out of one of the legs, ignoring his attempt to free the other as well. “Or is there another reason why you didn’t bother with underwear?”

 

“Driving you crazy may have had something to do with it.” Novak bit his lip at the lust he saw in brown orbs, whimpering quietly when Roger pulled his hips closer roughly. “Please tell me you have condoms here.” There was no way he would let the man go to get some right now.

 

“Back pocket of my jeans”, Roger smirked at him. “Good thing I knew where this was going when I saw you putting on your jeans.”

 

Novak groaned and grabbed hold of that perfect ass, eliciting a deep moan when he squeezed tightly. “Fuck me”, he whispered hoarsely in Roger’s ear. “Fuck me hard.”

 

“Get that damn condom and I promise I’ll make you scream.”

 

For a moment he thought he’d come right then, but somehow the Serb managed to get the condom and push down the disturbing piece of cloth in one take. When Roger reached for it he batted his hand away, just to rip it open with his teeth himself.

 

Novak was torn between wanting to torture Roger by rolling it onto his cock slowly, but the desire to feel him inside him was just too strong. A few seconds later Roger pulled him closer yet, Novak’s legs automatically winding around his hips.

 

“You still good from ten minutes ago?” There was that goddamn smirk on the man’s lips again that was making Novak go nuts.

 

“Fucking hell, you know I am”, he growled. “Stop talking so fucking much and… OH GOD!”

 

There was no way Roger could get that deep into him in that position, but it wasn’t like he gave the younger man much time to enjoy it. His hands were on Novak’s ass and he started thrusting immediately, making it very clear that he intended on keeping his promise of making him scream.

 

And Novak would if he’d had the breath. He wondered if this might just become his new favorite position for them as he grasped Roger’s shoulder with one hand, the other burying in brown strands. He simply needed something to hold onto, and with his shirt still confining his movements this was all he could do.

 

Their grunts and gasps filled the room as Novak’s cock was trapped between them, rubbing against their stomachs. He felt silly with his shirt still on and the jeans hanging from one leg, but he couldn’t have bothered less as they raced towards orgasm.

 

The sound of keys had them both jumping slightly and then the front door opened, the sound of a female voice filling the room.

 

“Roger, are you up? We brought you something for lunch, that is if you haven’t already …”

 

Novak felt himself go very stiff, but his tensed muscles only made Roger grunt and then the talking stopped all of a sudden. The blood was rushing in his ears from arousal, but he’d already recognized the voice of Lynette Federer. Not that he could see her since his back was to the door, but maybe that was better than the other way around.

 

“Oh my God! Roger, baby, we’re so sorry, we thought you weren’t expecting company until later…”

 

“Mum, please, just…”, Roger pressed out, obviously trying to not interlace the words with another moan, but his voice sounded raspy anyway.

 

“Right. We’ll just wait in the dining room while you, uhm, dress…”

 

 _We?_ The little word finally made it to his lazy brain. “We?” Novak asked with a gasp as Roger pulled out of him, leaving him feeling awkwardly empty and unsatisfied. What a surprise.

 

“Dad’s here, too”, Roger replied as he pulled off the condom, just to groan quietly as he touched himself. “This can’t be true. Want to suck me off quickly?”

 

“With your parents next door?” Novak looked at him incredulously. “You cannot be serious.”

 

“I’m not, but God, I was so close.” He pulled a face as he tried to close his jeans, a sentiment the Serb could share, though most of his erection faded as he more and more realized that they’d been caught in the act. By Roger’s parents.

 

“Oh God”, he moaned quietly. “Did we just get caught having sex by your parents?”

 

“We just got caught fucking, in my kitchen, by my parents, yes”, Roger clarified, causing Novak to glare at him. “You ready to meet them?”

 

The rest of his hardness disappeared quickly as he pulled his shirt back on. At least he wouldn’t meet them half-hard. There must have been an expression on his face that was telling it all, as the Swiss gently grasped his hands to pull him in once the buttons were closed. “Hey, you okay?”

  
“We just got caught fucking by your parents, what do you think?” His voice was a little too high, even in his own ears. “Does your father even know?”

 

“I told him I’m seeing someone.” Roger smiled at him and took his face between his palms, kissing him lightly. “I love you, Nole. And you really need to meet my parents now, after all they’ve already seen your naked butt. I think I’d prefer them to remember the face to it in the long run.”

 

The young man groaned in agony. “You cannot be serious”, he whimpered and moved to hide his face in the crook of Roger’s neck. “You don’t happen to have the ability to make me invisible?”

 

Roger just laughed at that. In the next moment he grasped Novak’s wrist, moving to pull him with him. “Wait”, the Serb held him back. “You want to just walk over and introduce me? Have you looked at your hair?”

 

“For heaven’s sakes, Novak, they know we’ve just had sex, or at least we’ve tried.  And by the way, why would I straighten my hair when we’re going to pick up right where we left off once we’re alone again?”

 

That much for not meeting Robert and Lynette Federer half-hard.

 

~~~****~~~

 

“Mum, Dad”, Roger said as they entered the dining room, the fingers of his right hand intertwined with Novak’s. “I think you know Novak.”

 

“Of course.” Lynette tried to smile, but there was still a little blush on her cheeks. _Oh my_. “Though I wasn’t exactly expecting to see this much from your lover right the first time.”

 

While Novak blushed a very dark red, Roger only snorted. “But at a later point it’d be okay or what?”

  
“I didn’t say that.” The Swiss woman came over to hug Novak tightly, ignoring her chuckling son and husband. “It’s so great to finally meet you, Novak.”

 

Novak blinked repeatedly before returning the hug. He stuttered, a little lost in that moment: “Uhm, the same here, Mrs. Federer.”

 

“Oh please, call me Lynette. Mrs. Federer is Robert’s mother.” She released him again and looked at Roger with a grin. “So, that morning in London, you weren’t just having small talk at the buffet, were you?”

 

“Not really, no.” Novak looked at his lover, not sure what they were talking about, but he forgot it immediately as Robert Federer came walking over to them.

 

“Novak, you’ve met my father.” Roger squeezed his hand reassuringly, but Novak still felt his throat go dust dry. Robert was coldly seizing him up and he wasn’t even trying to hide it. Maybe this would be even worse than what he’d imagined it to be like.

 

“You hurt my son and I’ll make your life hell.” The young man was totally taken aback for a moment, just staring at Robert Federer as he tried to make sense of these words.

 

“Dad”, Roger cut in before Robert could add anything and said some words in Swiss-German that Novak didn’t understand, but he could imagine the content.

 

“It’s okay”, he gently interrupted Roger once he’d found his voice again, now squeezing his hand in return to tell him it was fine. Looking back at Robert Federer, feeling his lover’s gaze lingering on him, Novak said quietly, but with a firm voice: “If I should ever hurt Roger like that I wouldn’t want you to do anything else than give me hell.”

 

The cold stare faltered and for whatever reason Robert thought he needed to protect Roger, his words seemed to have hit home. It was hard for Novak not to look away, but he held the man’s gaze until Robert reached out his hand. As Novak shook it he grumbled something that included the words ‘welcome’ and ‘family’, though the rest was lost to him.

 

It didn’t really matter, though, because Roger was putting an arm around him and pulled him close against him. His words seemed to have hit home there, too, as Novak felt a kiss pressed to his cheek.

 

Lynette was smiling gently as well. “I’ll put the lunch in the fridge, you can eat it later. Robert, could you help me?”

 

“Find the fridge or open it?” The Swiss man smirked at the obvious excuse of giving Novak and their son a little moment for themselves, but followed his wife nonetheless.

 

Once they were alone Roger sighed and pulled him into a hug. “Sorry”, he whispered. “I forgot how protective he can get.”

 

“It’s okay”, Novak replied and managed a chuckle. “I didn’t know he could be so intimidating.”

 

“He isn’t usually. He just wanted to protect me.”

 

“I know.” He leaned back and looked at his lover, adding quietly: “You know I meant what I said, don’t you?”

 

Roger searched his eyes for a while. “Yeah”, he eventually whispered. “Yeah, I know.”

 

“Good”, Novak smiled and leaned in to kiss him softly. “And I don’t really care if you believe me or not. I’ll just have to prove to you that I won’t hurt you by not hurting you, I guess, and I can live with that.”

 

There was a wry half-smile on the older man’s lips at his words. “Sounds good to me.”

 

“Then it’s a deal.” The little smile turned into a real one and Novak found himself smiling back. “You want to leave your parents alone in the kitchen all day?”

 

“No”, Roger chuckled, finally completely relaxed again. “C’mon.”

 


	14. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Novak gets to know the Federers, and he comes over for dinner, meeting more of Roger's family.

 

“You two have to come over for dinner later.” The way Lynette said that as she topped up everyone’s cups with coffee didn’t leave any room for protest.

 

Roger looked at Novak questioningly. They were sitting at the kitchen table with Robert and Lynette across them, eating Christmas cookies from Roger’s grandmother. After the anything but ideal start with the Federers walking in on them and Robert’s clear threat, the Serb was relieved to realize that he was very much welcome here.

 

Apparently, once he’d said what had been on his mind, Robert seemed quite comfortable with his son’s new lover. Novak wasn’t sure why that was, maybe because he was a tennis player as well and could understand Roger better than anyone, but it wasn’t important.

 

What was important was the fact that he was sitting there, his hand resting on a strong thigh while having a relaxed talk with Roger’s parents. And he was still alive.

 

“Sure, why not”, Novak said when he realized the decision on where they’d spend their evening was up to him.

 

“You’re going to meet my sister”, Roger remarked, causing him to frown.

 

“Why do you make that sound like that’s something bad?”

 

“Because it is.”

 

“Roger!” Lynette chided. “For heaven’s sakes, how old are you?”

 

“I’m the younger one, that’s all I’m going to say to that”, Roger smirked.

 

Lynette and Robert just shook their heads while Novak didn’t bother hiding his grin. “That’s going to be interesting, isn’t it?”

 

Robert snorted and it was answer enough.

 

“Too bad you couldn’t come here yesterday”, Roger’s mother went on. “You could have met the whole family.”

 

“He has a family, too, Mum, and besides, maybe it’s a little early to confront him with the whole family.” Novak inwardly screamed in agreement.

 

“Roger’s right, Lynette”, Robert agreed with a smirk. “I mean, sometimes even I’m unable to cope with everyone.”

 

“This”, Roger agreed immediately and pointed at his father, causing Lynette and Novak to laugh out loud.

 

“You two are horrible”, the Swiss woman grinned. “But fine. I take it then that Novak is going to accompany you to the next two concerts?”

 

“Yes, he is. I was going to tell you that anyway. This way you can help Diana with the twins for a while, she’ll love that.”

 

That comment reminded him that there’d been some talk about Roger’s sister being pregnant, but it had been over a year ago. Not that Novak could remember having heard anything other than that, there hadn’t even been photos of them.

 

“How old are they?” he asked, unable to remember even that. “I cannot remember hearing anything about that.”

 

“They turned one a little over a month ago”, Roger smiled. “And you couldn’t have heard a thing because it never made it to the news. The fact that Diana had twins, yeah, and some journalist leaked the names, but that’s it.”

 

“How did you manage that?” Novak was seriously impressed. With the attention the media paid to Roger and his whole life this was definitely a small miracle.

 

“The same way I keep my private life private, by shutting up about it.” The man shrugged. “It’s worked so far.”

 

“The fact that you’re bribing most of these journalists doesn’t hurt, either”, Robert laughed, especially when Roger shot him a glare.

 

“I don’t do that.”

 

“Maybe you should start.” His father grinned. “Because this”, he pointed between him and Novak, “will surely not stay quiet if one of these bastards should get wind of it.”

 

“I’m aware of that”, Roger said, but didn’t sound too concerned. “And we’re not going to hide forever, but right now, with the world tour, it’d be too much of a mess.”

 

“And maybe it’s a bit early as well.” Lynette looked between them softly, making it clear that she didn’t mean that in a bad way. She was right after all, Novak thought. They were together for what, a little over a month? There was still a lot of time for a coming out plan.

 

A quiet ‘ding’ sounded in the room and Robert searched in his pockets for his cell, while his wife excused herself for a moment to go to the bathroom. Roger beside him leaned back on his chair and laid an arm around Novak’s shoulder.

 

He pulled him a bit closer, whispering very quietly so that his father wouldn’t hear it: “Have you thought about how you want me to take you once my parents left?”

 

He almost choked on his coffee. Novak was still coughing when Lynette came back from the toilet, looking at him oddly while Roger was smiling an innocent smile as he patted his back gently.

 

A quiet curse in Serbian left his lips that had the older man laughing, probably able to imagine what he meant even without understanding the word itself. What Novak didn’t know, Roger had understood exactly what he’d said.

 

“Everything okay, Novak?” Lynette looked at him and he nodded, coughing one last time as he tried to keep from glaring at Roger.

 

“Just swallowed up some of the coffee”, he replied. “I’m good.”

 

There was a hand on his thigh all of a sudden, moving torturously slowly from the knee almost all the way to his groin. Novak bit his lip to keep from moaning.

 

“When should we come over, Mum?” Roger’s voice sounded perfectly normal, while Novak wouldn’t have trusted his at all. _Bastard_.

 

“Around 6, is that okay? I think we’ll eat at half past seven or something, this way Novak can meet Diana first, and maybe you could show him around a bit as well.”

 

“That sounds perfect.”

 

_Concentrate_ , Novak thought with a tight jaw, trying to block out his growing erection as Roger rubbed over his jeans lightly. His body seemed to remember their unfinished business from before and he couldn’t deny that it got harder to listen to the talking around him with every second.

 

Roger was a bastard. Really. He talked lightly with his mother and father, all the while knowing that Novak wouldn’t even think about it twice if he’d throw him on the table and take him right in front of them.

 

If there was a God, Lynette and Robert would be oblivious to his growing arousal and indeed, they didn’t seem to have a clue as they stretched out their stay into eternity. Or at least that’s what it felt like to Novak.

 

“… go now and leave you two alone”, Robert announced and stood up, followed by his wife and son. Thank God his shirt wasn’t tugged in his jeans, this way Novak could stand up and accompany them to the door as well. He was painfully hard, but it was hidden under the fabric.

 

He said goodbye politely and sighed in relief when the door fell closed, just to find himself pressed against it a second later, demanding lips covering his.

 

Roger didn’t bother with foreplay this time. He undressed them both just enough to make it physically possible for him to fuck Novak against the door, conjuring up a condom out of nothing. This must’ve been what heaven felt like, Novak thought and screamed in delight as they finally finished what they’d started an hour ago.

 

Sweat was running down his temples when his legs made contact with the ground again, muscles shaking slightly from his tight grip around Roger’s waist.

 

“That was incredible”, Novak gasped and would almost have glided down onto the ground if not for the strong arms that wound around his waist, holding him upright.

 

“It was damn time.” Roger’s back was slick with sweat as well under his shirt, but he didn’t seem to care. “I think we should go upstairs.”

 

“Why?” Novak whined. “I can’t move right now.” And if he tried he’d probably stumble over his jeans that were still hanging from one of his legs.

 

“I just thought for one whole hour about what I was going to do to you”, Roger whispered into his ear with that incredible bedroom voice of his. “We only have four hours until we have to drive to my parents’, and I’m not sure I’ll be done with you by then.”

 

Novak could only moan at the words, his brain turning to mash and he didn’t get to think straight again until they left Roger’s house for dinner.

 

“Do you know for sure you’re thirty?” the Serb asked as he got into the car, causing Roger to glance over at him with a smirk.

 

“I’m pretty sure, yeah. Why?”

 

“ _Why_?  Uhm, let me think. You’re aware that we just had sex I don’t know how many times, for four hours, and it’s not like our morning was much different.”

 

“Well, I have to keep my young lover happy.”

 

“You have to keep your young lover alive, and that includes time to breathe”, Novak grumbled. “I wouldn’t be surprised if my voice would be gone some time later.”

 

“It’s not my fault you scream like that.” From the look on his face, Roger knew very well that this wasn’t exactly true, and Novak found it incredibly sexy. That subtle arrogance, knowing exactly what he could do to him and fully making use of it, was turning him on. Again.

 

“God, drive”, Novak moaned. “We don’t have time for car sex anymore, do we?”

 

“Sadly, no. Maybe tonight.” Roger laughed as he started the engine and a few minutes later they were on their way. The Serb was looking out the window, though he didn’t really see much as he tried to compose himself.

 

Admittedly, the nervousness he felt at having dinner with his lover’s parents and his sister, possibly her husband, made it quite easy for Novak to calm down. In fact he was so calm during the drive that Roger looked at him a couple of times with unhidden worry in his eyes.

 

“You okay?” he eventually asked, reaching out for his hand to squeeze it gently. There was no way Roger didn’t notice how damp his palms were.

 

“Just nervous”, Novak admitted and shifted in his seat.

 

“Why? You already met my parents and they like you.”

 

“Did it occur to you that I know that, but can’t bring myself to care?”

 

Roger chuckled amusedly. “It has, but I couldn’t make myself believe that it might be true. They like you, for heaven’s sakes, and Diana will anyway.”

 

Novak glanced at him. “I’ve never met any parents-in-law before, and this wasn’t even planned. God, your parents caught us having sex. Add to that the fact that we’ve been together for not even two months and sorry, but I’m just a nervous wreck.”

 

He couldn’t even blink at how fast Roger was stopping the car roadside. There were hands taking hold of his face all of a sudden, pulling him across the handbrake. A moment later his mouth was ravaged in a deep kiss, tearing a needy whimper from Novak.

 

It didn’t take Roger longer than a few seconds to have him forget who and where he was. When he broke away the Serb was gasping for air, his eyes wide as he stared at him. “What was that for?”

 

“That was to get you to stop thinking.” They pulled into traffic again. “Did it work?”

 

“Ungh”, was all Novak brought out and Roger laughed quietly.

 

Two minutes later they parked in front of a house with a large garden, though it was all covered in snow. “Did you grow up here?”

 

“Yeah”, Roger said with a sigh. “I have great memories connected to this house, even though I left with sixteen.”

 

There was a sad tone to his voice and Novak understood him very well. They both had left their homes way too early to become professional tennis players, but Novak had a feeling that the loneliness that had come with it had been much harder on Roger than on him.

 

“You missed them when you left, didn’t you?” he asked carefully, not sure if the Swiss would even talk to him about it.

 

“I missed them very much. So much that I did some very stupid things”, Roger answered with brutal honesty, his gaze fixed on the house. “I felt lonely, I was scared, not knowing if I could really make it, and I thought sex and alcohol would help me through that phase. Both haven’t.”

 

Novak didn’t know what to say. Roger didn’t strike him as the kind of man who was into random sex, but then again he’d also been a racket thrower a long time ago. There seemed to have been a whole other side to the man that he didn’t know and which was obviously in the past. It had awakened his curiosity anyway.

 

“Are you ready?” Roger smiled at him and nodded at his childhood home, ending the topic of his youth without really shutting Novak down. If he’d wanted to ask more he could have done that, but it didn’t feel like the right moment.

 

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You can be happy I love you.” He got out of the car and waited for his lover who was less giddy than him, slinking an arm around Novak’s waist when he came up beside him. They walked towards the house slowly, Roger gently pushing him up the stairs when he lost a bit of his usual walking pace.

 

The door opened without them having to ring. A blonde woman appeared in the doorway, smiling warmly at Novak as she said to her brother: “Are you missing that number one ranking so badly that you’ve got to sleep with the current number one?”

 

“Do I have to say anything about the fact that you’re married to a man who does his own plumbing?”

 

The Serb wasn’t sure if he should laugh or cry, but Lynette saved them by shooing her daughter away from the door to greet them. “I’m so glad you’re both here”, she smiled and hugged Roger, who leaned down to kiss her on the cheek softly.

 

“It’s amazing, I feel like I’ve been here only yesterday”, he then said with faked wonder in his voice and chuckled when Lynette smacked him on his arm. With a grin Roger walked into the house, just to have a small blonde girl running towards him.

 

The Swiss picked her up without hesitation and turned around himself once with her flying through the air, just to hold her in his arms a second later. “Didn’t Grandma tell you to not run inside the house, little butterfly?”

 

“I just wanted to say hello”, the little girl mumbled, but her eyes were on Novak who was just closing the door behind him after hugging Lynette as well. “Who is that?”

 

“That is a very good friend of mine, honey”, Roger explained. “His name is Nole. Do you want to say hello?”

 

The vigorous shake of her head made the man laugh and Novak couldn’t tear his eyes from Roger. Thinking about whole new sides to the Swiss he didn’t know, this was definitely another one. He couldn’t help the thought that Roger would make an amazing father.

 

“You know, butterfly, saying hello is something every nice girl should do when she meets someone she doesn’t know”, Roger told her and glanced at Novak with a smirk. “And it’s not like he bites. Mostly at least.”

 

Novak inwardly sighed, the reference to their joined shower from this morning not lost to him and he knew he was blushing. It was becoming way too frequent for his liking.

 

“Hello”, the girl then said all shy and quiet, just to hide her face in the crook of Roger’s neck afterwards.

 

“Hello, little girl”, the Serb gave back and came a bit closer after hanging up his jacket.

 

“Are you going to tell him your name, honey? I think you have to, it’s your name after all. He can’t just call you little girl all evening.”

 

It was amazing to see how Roger got the small girl to look at Novak again, saying quietly but with a little more boldness than before: “I’m Emilie.”

 

“Hello, Emilie. It’s nice to meet you.”

 

Roger smiled contently and put the girl back on the ground. “Go back to your dad, we’ll be right there.” He shrugged off his jacket and Novak took it from him before Roger could hang it up himself, a thankful smile on his lips. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.” They kissed shortly and Novak thought faintly that it was their first kiss in front of Roger’s family, well at least his mother and sister. He saw Lynette smile happily at them, and even Diana seemed to have forgotten about whatever she’d wanted to say to her brother.

 

Roger slinked an arm around his waist and led him towards the back of the house, where Robert Federer and another man were sitting on the couch. Andrew was Diana’s husband, Roger told him, and after saying hello they sat on the two-seater, with Novak’s arm ending up around the older man’s shoulder.

 

“How’s Roman feeling?” Roger asked when Diana came in, causing his sister to sigh.

 

“He still has fever, but he’s eating again and feels better than yesterday.” She looked at Roger with a pleading look in her eyes. “Could you tell him a story later? He asked about you.”

 

“Sure, no problem.”

 

Diana smiled thankfully as she sat down as well. Her gaze found Novak’s and she grinned broadly. “So, my baby brother, huh? I’m afraid to ask, but are you in any way masochistic?”

 

A pillow flew her way, like Roger had just waited for her to say something and Novak saw Robert roll his eyes. “Roger, Diana!” he said loudly. “How is it possible that a one-year-old acts more mature than you do?”

 

The two didn’t say anything to that. Roger leaned his head against the Serb’s shoulder, sticking his tongue out at Diana when she smirked at him once again. And here Novak had thought his brothers were already straining, though it was funny as well. Robert and Andrew shook their heads, obviously used to the siblings’ banter and just glad to have a little moment of peace.

 

They sat like that for a while. Robert and Andrew had been discussing Switzerland’s politics before their arrival and picked up where they’d left off. Novak was happy just listening to them, not at all knowing enough about that topic to join in. Aside a little remark here and there, Roger wasn’t really taking part in the conversation, either.

 

His hand had sometime covered Novak’s, thumb gently stroking over his skin and it felt even more wonderful considering they were surrounded by the Swiss’ family. Diana would throw a glance at them almost every time they’d talk quietly to each other, since they didn’t want to disturb the others. Roger noticed his frown at his sister’s antics.

 

“She just likes to piss me off”, he explained with a smile. “It’s not like I don’t enjoy pissing her off, too. Maybe we should stop whispering, she’ll probably have the time of her life teasing me with it.”

 

“You don’t really expect me to pity you, do you?”

 

“No.” With a carefree laugh Roger leaned over and kissed him on the lips firmly, nothing deep, but surely sudden enough to stun Diana. And indeed, when they broke apart and Novak risked a glance, his lover’s sister stared at them, the smugness wiped from her face. “She always thought you’re hot.”

 

Roger’s sudden confession made him blink. “What?”

 

“C’mon, it’s not like she hasn’t seen you before. She told me she found you hot pretty much the first time we played each other.” There was a smirk on the man’s lips and Novak couldn’t help but return it.

 

“And you?”

 

“Me?” A little pause. “I thought that’d be clear after our afternoon together.” A shiver rocked through Novak when Roger stroked torturously slowly over his thigh. “But I could show you again later, if you want?”

 

_He hadn’t just seriously put that as a question, had he?_ “This is fun for you, isn’t it?” he pressed out and glared at Roger. There was no need for Novak to further explain what he meant, they both knew how turned on he was from these words.

 

“Of course it is.” Roger reached over for another kiss, but before it could get out of control in any way, Lynette came walking over to them from the kitchen.

 

“So, dinner will be ready in about half an hour”, she said, a smirk on her lips when she saw how close to each other they were. “Roger, didn’t you want to show Novak around? You could do that now, and would you be so kind to set the table afterwards?”

 

“Sure”, Roger said and grasped for the Serb’s hand as he stood up. “That is, if you even want to see the house?”

 

“What are we waiting for?” Novak smiled at Roger, looking very much forward to seeing the man’s childhood room.

 

“Take a look at Roman, please?” Diana looked at her brother as they walked past her. “I think he’s still asleep, but if he isn’t just tell me and I’ll come up.”

 

“Okay.” With that the two men left the living room and the moment they were out of sight Roger held Novak in a tight embrace, capturing his lips in a deep kiss. Neither of them really went for it, not wanting to make a sound that’d betray what they were doing, but the low-riding hand just above his ass was making the Serb smirk anyway.

 

“Could you explain to me how this is showing me the house?”

 

“Don’t tell me you fell for that”, Roger shot back, matching his cocky tone of voice and Novak couldn’t help the quiet chuckle on his lips. Interlacing their fingers again, the older man led him to the stairs in the back of the house. “What do you expect?”

 

“Of your room?” When he nodded, Novak added: “I don’t know, honestly. My first thought would have been posters of Sampras and a couple other players, maybe an old racket on the wall. Considering I’ve come to learn that you aren’t nearly as innocent as your hair suggests, I’m now actually prepared for posters of a naked Sampras and a couple other players, also naked.”

 

Roger froze halfway up the stairs and just stared at him. Somehow, Novak managed to keep a straight face, lifting a suggestive eyebrow. “So I’m right about the naked guys on the wall, I guess?”

 

The Swiss opened his mouth to say something, but didn’t bring out a word. Novak finally couldn’t hold back his laugh anymore. “Just kidding”, he grinned and pulled Roger further up the stairs. “Your room might have looked like that, but I can’t imagine you having kept it that way after you left.”

 

“Just the thought of my mother…” Roger didn’t finish that as he smacked Novak on his upper arm. “And hell, that’s not even true. I never…”

 

“It’s way too late for that, baby”, Novak cut in on him with a smirk. “And you know it.”

 

“I was going to say I never wanted to see Pete naked, but whatever.”

 

They both grinned as Roger pointed at a door: “That’s my room, just go ahead. I’ll take a look at Roman first.”

 

“What about him?”

 

“He’s been sick for a couple of days. It’s nothing too bad, just a cold, but he’s pretty out of it. I’ll be right with you.”

 

With that Roger quietly opened another door, while Novak walked into the Swiss’ old childhood room. It was _exactly_ what he’d expected and so close to the room Novak himself still had in his parents’ house.

 

The furniture consisted of a cupboard, a writing table and a bed, though the latter was definitely not over 14 years old and broader than a normal twin-sized one. Novak suspected that Roger had gotten a new one, so he could sleep here after a couple of drinks or when it got too late for him to drive home.

 

Otherwise, everything seemed to be almost exactly like Roger had left it behind with sixteen. The bookshelves held loads of tennis books, there were boxes with old equipment, rackets and even a couple of trophies. It was so obviously the room of a young boy who had loved tennis, but with an innocence about it that made Novak smile.

 

He could feel the love that Roger had felt for the sport when he’d left this room in whatever he saw, a love that still drove him even now. If he’d asked Lynette, Novak was sure she’d tell him that there used to be bed-linens with tennis balls on them, and also that there had been more than only a couple of posters on the wall.

 

This was so close to his own childhood room it was amusing. And obviously Roger had been eager to keep that sense of a childhood room, trying to change as little of it as he had to, only putting a new bed in here.

 

Arms winded around his waist from behind, conjuring up a happy smile on Novak’s lips. “How’s Roman?”

 

“Still asleep, but at least his fever’s down”, Roger mumbled against the back of his neck. “You know, it’s weird seeing you in my old room.”

 

“Like two worlds colliding, I know”, the Serb said, laughing amusedly when he felt Roger go still. “I left my family when I was even younger than you. I get what this room means to you, my old room looks almost exactly like this.”

 

A soft kiss beneath his ear made him shiver slightly. “I guess we’ve got more in common than one might think, huh?”

 

“We have more in common than anyone thinks, including you and me”, Novak summed up with a laugh. He turned in Roger’s arms, taking in the beautiful smile on the man’s face. “Which I think is very good.”

 

“Yes. It is.” Soft lips covered his in a gentle kiss, the arms around Novak’s body pulling him against a strong body. “I hope that it’s okay that I’ve brought you here to meet my family after not even two months.”

 

Novak laughed happily. “You have no idea how much it means to me”, he gave back gently. “I never expected them to just accept me like this.”

 

“Why wouldn’t they?” He could have listed a million reasons – his cockiness, his smug behavior on and off court, his arrogance -, but Roger’s eyes were serious in a way that told Novak all of these reasons didn’t matter. “It doesn’t matter to me or my family how somebody acts it public or on the tour, Nole. Just look at me, I don’t show emotions during a match at all, yet I’m a very emotional person. And my parents would never judge you by something like that.”

 

The words felt so good and for the first time ever Novak had the feeling that someone aside his family really understood him. It seemed like Novak had somehow managed to show Roger that he wasn’t always the arrogant son of a bitch he’d disliked so much the first years that they’d been on tour together. The Serb had somehow made it clear that he had a caring side as well, and maybe it had been in the lockers at Wimbledon this year.

 

Moving in closer, the young man hid his face in the crook of Roger’s neck, breathing in his scent to calm his fluttering heart before mumbling: “So, what do they judge me by?”

 

“The fact that you make me happy”, Roger whispered against his temple, his voice so full of love it was nothing but amazing. “And that’s every reason they need to love you.”

 

“Fucking hell, I love you so much.” His little outburst brought him a laugh, causing Novak to smile as well.

 

“I love you too.” Roger kissed him on his temple gently, causing a little shiver to run down Novak’s spine. “I’m very happy, having you here for the holidays.”

 

“I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy Christmas without you.” Novak didn’t even want to think about how bad his spirits would have been for his usually most favorite holidays if he hadn’t known he could spend it with Roger. It would have been anything but pleasant for his family. “I still have a present for you.”

 

“And here I thought the roses were already quite wonderful.” The Swiss’ voice was full of joy and love as he said that. “You know you don’t have to give me anything more than you being here, don’t you?”

 

“I want to.” Novak wasn’t sure if his ribcage would be strong enough to hold back his raging heart. He lifted his head to look at Roger, a subtle smirk forming on his lips. “And in case you were wondering, my perfect Christmas present consists of you, no clothes and a bed. The bed isn’t really essential, though.”

 

His words made the man laugh quietly. “I already have something else for you, but I think we could go with a second present.”

 

“Sounds good to me”, Novak whispered and then they kissed, a hot burning kiss that had him moan deep in his throat. His hands grasped Roger’s hips firmly, trying to restrain himself from doing something that’d bring them in trouble like a couple of hours ago.

 

The older man wasn’t so wary. He was driving Novak insane as he brought their bodies even closer, lips sometime moving away from his and to his jaw. Roger left a wet trail down his neck and then the breath was knocked out of him.

 

He hadn’t even noticed the hand on his chest, pushing his shirt to the side a bit. Only when he felt teeth sinking into the skin right above his collar bone did the Serb catch up, but it was too late. A delicate mixture of nibbling and sucking had him trembling with desire, pushing him way beyond that thin line of self-control.

 

His fingers buried in thick brown hair and Novak heard the low moan that left Roger’s lips. It made him want nothing more than to push Roger against a wall and have his way with him. “I want you”, he gasped into the silence around them, causing his lover to lift his head and kiss him again.

 

“God, I want you too”, Roger whispered against his lips, eyes burning as he looked at him. “But not now. We’ve got to set a table, remember?”

 

“I actually thought about that, until you gave me that hickey”, Novak deliberately sounded reproachful. “Did you have to do that when you know we can’t do anything about it now?”

 

“I like knowing the mark’s there.” There was that damn smirk on Roger’s lips that made him want to tear his clothes off right then.

 

“And if someone sees it?” Because really, it wasn’t like his shirt was about to hide it effectively, and coming back down with one more closed button would just be silly.

 

“So what? I think everyone down there knows we’ve had sex.” Roger moved in to kiss him gently on the lips again. “And besides, it’s sexy. I like it.”

 

“Mighty Roger Federer saying the word sex twice in as many sentences, you’re killing me here”, Novak chuckled, but sighed a moment later. “C’mon, let’s go back downstairs. I’m pretty sure dinner will be ready soon.”

 

“Hmm”, Roger hummed and grasped his wrist to pull him with him. Before they had left the room, though, his eyes travelled down Novak’s neck, a shiver rocking through the younger man’s body at the predatory look that came up in his brown eyes. “I can’t wait to see you naked, with just that mark on your skin. I’d say we shouldn’t leave too late, what do you think?”

 

The moan he got was all the answer the Swiss man needed.

 

 


	15. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have a conversation after dinner at the Federers', and Novak learns a couple of things about Roger's past.

 

“He’s hot.”

 

Novak came to an abrupt halt the moment Diana’s voice reached is ears, the mocking tone in her voice a clear sign that she was talking to her brother. He was just outside the kitchen, wanting to get the last couple of glasses to finish setting the table, but now he went very still.

 

“But from the hickey on his collar bone I don’t have to tell you that.”

 

“No, Di, you don’t have to tell me that”, Roger chuckled amusedly, sounding nothing like before when he’d been all about driving his sister nuts. This seemed like a more serious talk between siblings and Novak wasn’t sure if it was right to listen in on them. Something made him stay, though.

 

“Does he know a thing about that mess one might call your love life?”

 

“You know, it’s nice knowing that you care, but you could be a bit more sensitive.”

 

“I could, but this way I can simultaneously watch your reaction and see if you’re really through with that or not.” There was silence in the kitchen for a moment, followed by a quiet laugh from Roger and a high squeal. “Ouch, Roger!”

 

“I’m fucked up enough with one of my best friends being a shrink, don’t go all psycho on me as well. I can’t take it.”

 

The Swiss woman chuckled amusedly, obviously not all that mad at whatever Roger had done to make her squeal. Her next words stunned Novak, though. “That boy loves you.”

 

“He’s not _that_ young, Di”, her brother snorted, but then Roger was silent for a moment before quietly saying: “I know.”

 

“Oh _God_ , you’re so cute when you blush, little brother.” There was no doubt that Diana had a broad grin on her face as she said that, and the grumble that followed surely belonged to Roger. “Want me to threaten him as well? Dad mentioned something, but I could do it again, and even better. You know me.” 

 

“Novak’s not a monster, for heaven’s sakes”, Roger sounded undoubtedly amused and maybe a bit touched at his sister’s willingness to protect him. “He’s wonderful. Stop scaring him.” 

 

“I just don’t want to see my baby brother get hurt. Again.”

 

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, then it’s that you just never know. It’s a risk I’ll have to accept.”

 

Diana’s voice was quiet now and softer than before as she asked carefully: “And you’re sure you’re ready again for a risk like that?”

 

Novak closed his eyes at that. There was so much behind these words, so many implications that it made him dizzy. Damn it. He needed to know what this was about, and soon. Whatever had happened, Roger had been hurt really bad. Bad enough to have his whole family on the watch for him.

 

“I’ve moved on, but that doesn’t mean I’m not scared of getting hurt again. It’s just, I love him, Diana. It’s a risk I’ll have to take, if I want to or not.”

 

In that moment, the young Serb wanted nothing more than to burst into that room, walk over to Roger and kiss the life out of him. Was it even possible to love that man any more than he did right then?

 

“Does he know any of this?”

 

“He knows I’ve been hurt, yeah. I haven’t really found it in myself yet to ruin our time together with details, it’s not like we’ve been able to see each other all too often.”

 

“If you want this to work, Roger, you have to tell him”, Diana was talking softly, but with an urgent tone in her voice. “Novak deserves to know, and it’d be shit if he’d learn from someone else.”

 

“I know, and I’ll talk to him. Can I finish setting the table now? I’m pretty sure we can eat soon.”

 

“Yeah, baby brother, go ahead”, Diana laughed. “Call me when you want to talk to someone, okay?”

 

“Okay. Could you go back to hating me now? All this niceness is disgusting.”

 

“What’s disgusting?” Novak finally stepped into the kitchen and took in the scene in front of him, trying to seem like he was clueless what they’d been talking about. Roger was leaning against the fridge while Diana stood by the sink, grinning at the two of them.

 

“Hey”, the Swiss man said as Novak walked over to him, reaching out with one hand to grasp the young man’s hand and pull him in for a kiss. “Diana’s just been nice to me for several minutes.”

 

“No!” The Serb lifted an eyebrow at Roger, while Diana burst out laughing at her brother’s glare.

 

“I like him”, she said to Roger and with a last smile the Swiss woman walked out of the kitchen, leaving them behind.

 

“You know, you could stick by me more often.” Roger looked at him reproachfully. “She enjoys making my life hell way too much to have you encourage her.”

 

Novak lifted his second eyebrow as well and knew he didn’t have to say anything to that when Roger laughed. They finished setting the table quickly and were done not a moment too soon as Lynette declared that the food was ready.

 

The others came to the table and Novak couldn’t deny his happiness at how naturally the place beside Roger was reserved for him, while he helped Lynette carry some dishing into the dining room.

 

It was wonderful, feeling so very welcome here and being involved in the talking around him like Novak had been there a thousand times before. He hadn’t really caught up with it all yet, but he enjoyed every moment of the dinner with the Federer family.

 

~~~****~~~

 

The evening at the Federer’s was wonderful and Novak didn’t even notice how the time flew by. Everyone helped cleaning the dishes after dinner, which made the kitchen seem much smaller than it really was, but there was a wonderful spirit in the air. The light atmosphere, the laughter and of course Roger’s and Diana’s constant bantering made it all a hell of a lot fun.

 

While Lynette brewed coffee to go with the dessert – apparently Roger loved everything that involved cream and chocolate -, the others moved to the living room. Novak and Roger ended on the two-seater once again, though Emilie joined them this time.

 

Around nine the little girl was fast asleep on Roger’s lap and he volunteered to put her to bed, after all he’d promised Diana to tell Roman a story anyway. Novak was simply unable to tear his eyes from watching his lover with the kids, especially not when the Swiss brought Roman down for some time to say good night to his parents.

 

The sick boy clung onto Roger’s neck as if his life depended on it, barely wanting to let go of him to hug his mum and dad. Roman as well as his sister obviously adored their uncle and it was no miracle to understand why that was. Roger was amazing with children, even better than Novak had always suspected him to be.

 

He was standing by the chimney with Lynette to warm his hands, talking lightly about the tennis tour with her, when Roger hugged him from behind. He placed his chin on Novak’s shoulder and waited patiently for them to finish their conversation, not bothered by the amused glance his mother shot him for being so clingy.

 

They finally decided to leave around eleven, needing more than five minutes to say good bye to everyone. Novak had a feeling that Lynette was just shy of making them promise to repeat this evening very soon, but maybe she didn’t dare to do so just yet. It was simply too soon.

 

Roger looked happier than he had ever seen him before. There was this look in his eyes, happy and carefree, giving Novak a feeling that, for all of his love for tennis and music, his family was where the Swiss man really belonged.

 

Their drive home was mostly spent in silence. It was a weird feeling, thinking of Roger’s house as _‘home’_ and Novak knew he couldn’t say it out loud yet, but it still felt so very good. There was a sense of belonging like he hadn’t felt it before and the young Serb was pretty sure Roger felt it, too.

 

They were both laughing quietly once they made it into the house, neither of them bothering to search for the light switch. There was playfulness in the air when Roger avoided Novak’s attempt to take him into his arms, always staying out of his reach as he lead the way to his bedroom.

 

Still laughing, the two men fell onto the bed, Novak ending up halfway on top of the man, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. Brown orbs were gentle and full of love as they topped off the already perfect evening with even more perfect love-making. Roger made the most beautiful sounds in his throat, letting him have control as Novak slowly rode him to completion.

 

It was late, but they decided to take a quick shower anyway. Novak found it incredibly appealing to have Roger wash his back, these gifted hands making him relax within minutes. He returned the favor with a head message, and from the low moans he got Roger seemed to enjoy it just as much.

 

The older man was done first and quickly made his way back to bed, while Novak stayed behind in the bathroom. He wound a towel around his waist before stepping out of the shower, a sigh on his lips as he took a look at himself in the mirror above the sink.

 

His inner contentment was written all over his face, features relaxed and peaceful while his eyes sparkled with happiness. Novak was very aware that this wasn’t just because of the mind-blowing sex he was having much more frequently than ever before. It went deeper and had come with miraculously getting the man he’d wanted for so long.

 

Only the mild frown on his forehead felt wrong, and Novak couldn’t deny why he was hesitating to go back into the bedroom. For what it was worth, after listening to Diana and his lover, Novak had sworn that he’d try to talk to Roger as soon as he could, and that was now.

 

A small part of him didn’t want to, though. God, he was so fucking scared of finding out that the Swiss wasn’t over what had happened in his last relationship. It didn’t even matter that both his head _and_ heart were telling him that it simply wasn’t possible.

 

The last month and a half couldn’t have been faked, or the way they had loved each other that last hour. Roger’s eyes couldn’t have lied, not like that - or really that’s what Novak was desperately praying for.

 

He sighed silently as he walked to the door, deciding he might as well get over with it. Roger was on his back, the sheets covering him up to his chest and Novak took a moment to take in what he saw, feeling the butterflies in his stomach displace his slight sickness.

 

“I heard you talking to Diana”, the Serb eventually said and leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed in front of his chest, causing Roger to turn his head to look at him.

 

“That wasn’t so hard, we talked to each other a few times during the evening.”

 

“I’m talking about you two in the kitchen, right before dinner.”

 

The older man fell silent, knowing exactly what he was talking about. For a moment Novak felt bad about listening in, but it was too late anyway.

 

“How much did you hear?” To his surprise Roger’s voice was still kind and gentle, not a hint of the anger in it that he would have every right to feel.

 

“Well, I told you someone would see the hickey”, he gave back quietly, very aware that it’d be enough of an answer.

 

“Yeah, you did”, Roger chuckled before becoming serious again. “So you heard everything.” Novak was further taken by surprise when the Swiss turned onto his side, leaning on his elbow as he looked at him. “If it bothers you like this, why didn’t you say something sooner?”

 

“I didn’t say it bothers me.” Even in his own mind did he sound defensive and Novak really didn’t like it.

 

“No, you didn’t, but the way you’re standing there tells me something else.” Roger was still smiling at him, though it didn’t really reach his eyes. “Look, I haven’t been avoiding this talk. It’s just… I don’t like thinking about it. At all. This all starts with the worst day of my life, and usually I just want to forget about it.”

 

“What day was that?” There were a lot of possible answers he expected, but surely not what Roger gave him as a reply.

 

“My twenty-eighth birthday.”

 

Novak just stared at the Swiss, trying to think back to that time, but he couldn’t remember that anything had felt off at the 2009 Rogers Cup, or later that season.

 

“I was engaged at that time, Novak.” Roger’s voice was quiet now, almost weak and just barely audible for him. The words tore at his heart anyway. “After I won number fifteen, that son of a bitch asked me if I wanted to marry him. I said yes, because really, I _wanted_ to marry him. I loved him. Even when he didn’t bother showing at my birthday party.”

 

The meaning behind these words crashed down on him, and it did so with gruel brutality. Not that Roger was finished yet.

 

“I should have known then, but I didn’t want to see it. I wrote a song about it and moved on. Which worked, until I came home earlier than planned and caught him in bed with another.”

 

Novak wanted to say something, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t even sure how this conversation had started anymore – Roger had run through what sounded like the most horrible weeks of his life, without any emotion in his voice. The Serb swallowed uncomfortably.

 

“You don’t have to say anything, you know.” The older man managed a half-smirk, obviously able to read his silence for what it was. “It’s not like I really know what to say about that myself. Aside the fact that I was an idiot.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault”, was the first thing that came to Novak’s mind, and he needed to say something. _God_. No wonder Roger had become so wary in relationships.

 

“Looking back at it, yes, it was my fault.” With a sigh the man fell onto his back, staring numbly at the ceiling and Novak found that he was _aching_ to take him into his arms, wanting to make Roger feel better.

 

“Why do you think that?” he asked quietly, finding that he didn’t have it in himself to walk over to Roger just yet. He didn’t really know what to do, and this uncertainty made him too uncomfortable and self-aware.

 

The older man sat up now and hid his face in his hands for a moment, breathing deeply before saying into the silence: “He’s gorgeous, and really everything I like in men. I fell for him so fast after I met him for the first time, which by the way wasn’t more than half a year before he asked me to marry him. He can be so charming if he wants, and believe me, he wanted to be.”

 

Novak’s throat was dry at these words and he wasn’t even sure what to feel anymore. Whereas Roger’s voice had lacked emotion before, now the hurt was all there.

 

“He was just never there. He avoided meeting my family and after I basically forced him, he always had excuses to miss dinner with them, or my friends. I was so fucking blind, and then I was so happy when I won the French, and then Wimbledon. It was what I had wanted for so long, and when he asked me to marry him, I just didn’t fucking think.”

 

“He cheated on you. I don’t see how that’s your fault.”

 

“He never loved me in the first place, Novak.” The bitterness in Roger’s voice took him completely aback. “If I told you I broke up after I caught him cheating – of course I did, I couldn’t possibly be _that_ blind -, and that he showed up at my doorstep again when it was clear my debut album would be huge, what does that tell you?”

 

He felt a pang in his heart at that, understanding all too well what Roger was talking about - money. The thought that this bastard had hurt the man he loved so much because he’d wanted his fucking money made Novak hate him. It didn’t even matter that he’d never met him, he hated him.

 

“God, I’m so sorry”, he whispered, feeling a bit silly at saying something so trivial, but it was how he felt and he just needed to say it.

 

“Yeah, me too.” Roger numbly stared at the sheets in front of him, and something made Novak move. It was like he felt the man’s hurting as if it was his own, and he couldn’t stand the distance anymore.

 

He sat on the bed and gathered the Swiss in his arms, pleasantly surprised when Roger complied without hesitation, leaning his head against Novak’s shoulder. There were no tears, no tension in the older man, just the sadness that came with remembering the worst days of his life. Not that it wasn’t already more than enough.

 

“I would never have told you that I love you if I hadn’t moved on from this a long time ago. I hope you know that.” The words whispered against his neck made Novak halt in the middle of stroking through Roger’s hair, too stunned to remember how to move. How did he…

 

“How do you…?”

 

“I told you”, Roger interrupted him and gently grasped his hand. “I’m never going to play poker in a team with you.”

 

The kiss pressed onto his cheek had the younger man sigh. “I’m sorry I brought this up. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

 

“It’s okay”, Roger whispered and moved one arm around his waist to return his hug, snuggling up to him. “You needed to know, anyway. And I would have told you, I just haven’t found a moment worth ruining yet.”

 

They stayed like that for a few minutes and Novak really needed the time to sort out his thoughts, wondering faintly when Roger had learned to read him so well. It wasn’t until Roger spoke up again that he regained his ability to move.

 

“Does it bother you?” Roger straightened up and looked at him, eyes searching his.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“The fact that I was engaged.”

 

Novak swallowed. To be honest, he hadn’t even thought it about it yet, not really at least. Did it bother him? _Fucking hell, yes. It fucking bothers me, a lot…_

 

Realistically, though, he wasn’t really surprised. Roger was older than him after all and though he couldn’t deny that he secretly wished to be the man’s first love like he was Novak’s, it just wasn’t true.

 

“No, it doesn’t bother me”, he answered eventually, holding Roger’s gaze as he spoke. “I mean, I know you’ve been in love before and, I don’t know…”

 

“And I’m old, so it was just logical. Thank you very much.” The Swiss laughed as he ruffled through his hair affectionately. “Idiot.”

 

Novak squealed and tried to dive out of Roger’s mocking touch, ending up on his back while these talented fingers tickled him, making him laugh until he was completely out of breath.

 

“Roger”, he gasped desperately, “Roger, please, _stop_ …”

 

A soft chuckle reached his ear and the older man took pity on him, stopping his attack as he cuddled up to his side, pulling the sheets over them. Novak’s towel had somehow found its way to the ground and he sighed happily when their naked bodies melted together, Roger’s head ending up on his chest.

 

“I love you”, the man said simply, placing a hand where his heart was beating, and though there was probably a hell of a lot more that he could say in that moment, Roger didn’t. And if he was honest, for all the words in this world, these three were the only ones that really mattered to Novak, anyway.

 

“I love you too”, he sighed and put his arms around Roger, holding him tight. “And I don’t care that you’ve been engaged. All I care about is having you here now, in my arms.”

 

“Good.” Roger definitely sounded like he was smiling, though Novak couldn’t see it. “Because I really like it here. You might have to get used to this.”

 

The Serb laughed out loud. “If that was supposed to sound anything like a threat, try better.”

 

Roger didn’t say anything to that. He just glanced at Novak with a smile and moved in to kiss him gently, before reaching up and turning off the lights. Once he’d lain back down, the Swiss sighed contently, mumbling: “We okay?”

 

“We’re very okay.” And they were. With a happy smile on his lips Novak kissed Roger on his head softly, tightening his grip around his body a bit. “Good night, baby.”

 

“Don’t ever call me that in front of anyone.” After a moment of silence, Roger added: “I’m fine with it when we’re alone, though.”

 

“I’m very glad.” Novak couldn’t help but smirk, knowing that the man _loved_ it when he called him baby. He didn’t mention it, though he surely wasn’t about to forget it.

 

“Good night, Nole.”

 

“Sleep well. Baby.”

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They enjoy their last in Switzerland.

 

They had one more day in Switzerland before reality would have them back, and the two men enjoyed their time together to the fullest. With their phones turned off, Novak had Roger all for himself and he took full advantage of it.

 

When they were lying arm in arm, Roger quietly told him some more details about his engagement, though the Serb was sure he was leaving out the worst. He came to realize that the break-up hadn’t at all been as easy as Roger had made it sound the night before.

 

Once his façade had been blown, Roger’s ex-fiancé hadn’t even bothered to hide his real intentions anymore. “With the tennis, the music and all the advertising contracts, I make a lot of money, Novak. He wasn’t just going to miss out on that.”

 

Novak felt sick, seeing his lover’s eyes so lifeless and sad as he spoke, letting him see a friction of the pain he’d felt at that time, being betrayed by the man he’d loved. And Roger had loved that man, there was no way denying that.

 

He tried not to think about what would’ve been if things had gone differently, if the Swiss had been a married man by now. He sought Roger’s closeness, trying to be as close to him as possible. Not caring if he was being clingy, Novak refused to let go of the man for more than a couple of seconds, and he had a feeling Roger didn’t mind at all.

 

They left the bed only for a few hours that day, and that was for a romantic walk through the snowy forest near the Swiss’ home, after all Roger wanted to try out his new scarf. After that he brewed a pot of tea and they lay down on the couch, all cuddled up as Novak finally got to enjoy his own Christmas present.

 

_I Am… Yours: An Intimate Performance at Wynn Las Vegas_ was the first copy of the DVD of Roger’s preview show in Las Vegas, and the Serb had been totally taken aback when he’d been handed the casing, wrapped in beautiful gift paper of course. He hadn’t even known Roger was about to bring out a DVD at all. The man told him that the set was going to be released at the end of January, not even two months after its recording.

 

He’d wanted to see the footage so badly, but Novak hadn’t really dared to ask for it. There were probably all those crazy rules that forbid Roger to share it with anyone, and it wasn’t that he was so sure the Swiss would even want to give it to him.

 

The DVD was awesome. While Roger nodded off after a while, his head on Novak’s shoulder as he was holding him tightly, the young man enjoyed the full concert. With its outright marginal setting, especially in comparison to the huge production that was Roger’s world tour, the footage was simply stunning.

 

It did a wonderful job at highlighting the man’s vocal ability, not bothering with a lot of dance choreographies, and the directing of the film itself was pretty basic as well. Still, all of the songs were so impossibly emotional, and considering everything he knew now, Novak was listening to _Irreplaceable_ in a very different way.

 

He had never wondered so much about what Roger’s songs were really about. In interviews, the Swiss had always pointed out that each of the songs he’d brought out had a special meaning to him, but Novak had no idea what that was. Aside of _Halo_ , obviously, and the knowledge of what that one was really about made him incredibly happy.

 

Once he was done the Serb was content watching Roger sleep for a while, something he was spending quite a lot of time with. The man had lain down sometime, his head resting in Novak’s lap now and he stroked gently through his hair, loving the feel of the soft strands underneath his finger tips.

 

“I’m awake, you know”, Roger mumbled eventually, though his breath was still even and eyes closed, indicating that he hadn’t been awake for too long. Novak smiled when he thought that he seemed quite comfortable like this.

 

“You want me to stop?” A denying hum had him chuckling quietly, wondering if there was any way he could love Roger more than he already did. Probably yes, because he was very aware of how often he’d already wondered that in the last couple of weeks.

 

“Did you like it?”

 

“I loved it”, the young man admitted, knowing that the Swiss was talking about the concert without him having to say it. “I’m not sure you’re aware, but I’m actually a huge fan of yours. I have all your albums and singles, even your first EP, and I listen to them quite often as well.”

 

“Does that mean I have to be afraid that you’re going to stalk me now?” Roger blinked an eye open and glanced up at him, causing Novak to grin broadly.

 

“Of course, what do you think”, he gave back amusedly. “I’m going to stalk your sexy ass whenever I can, but you have yet to convince me that you’re not going to love it. That smirk on your lips tells me something very different, you know.”

 

The older man laughed out loud at his words, eyes opening as he turned onto his back, looking up at Novak with his beautiful brown orbs. “I’ll love that very much.” Roger reached for the collar of his shirt to pull him down, guiding the Serb into a gentle kiss. “I love you very much.”

 

They kissed long and deep and Novak moaned lowly, feeling the desire inside him rise up. When they broke apart, the young man stared at Roger’s lips, thumb stroking over them lightly as he whispered: “How about you take me to bed and show me?”

 

He glanced at the Swiss’ eyes, feeling a shiver rock through him at the lust he saw flashing up when Roger replied: “I could show you right here.”

 

There was a helpless moan on his lips and Novak moved in to kiss his lover again, with much more passion than before as he felt himself react to the suggestion. Ideas popped up in his mind, the prior innocence of their position gone in an instant. Not that it hadn’t been Roger’s exact intention.

 

Talented fingers were busy opening the fly of his jeans, after mysteriously having managed to open the button without him noticing. Novak groaned and firmly grasped Roger’s wrist, stopping his movements. “I think I’d rather have you fuck me, in your bed, all night long.”

 

“Honey, the nice thing about me giving you a blow-job is the fact that I can still fuck you afterwards. So, what’s your problem here exactly?” Roger smirked up at him when Novak groaned at his words - again.

 

But really, the sight in front of him was killing him, his sexy lover’s head still in his lap while his eyes were burning with hunger and arousal at the prospect of sucking him off. Why on earth was he trying to stop this?

 

“What are you waiting for?” Novak gasped, his cock twitching at the dark chuckle that reached his ears. A moment later his pants were open and he leaned back against the couch, trying to suppress a whimper when hot breath ghosted over his sensitive flesh.

 

The wet heat surrounding him all of a sudden wasn’t at all surprising, but Novak still moaned at the sensation. Roger laughed amusedly, sending vibrations through him that had him trembling with desire. His hips bucked up, and there was no hand to keep him still.

 

In fact, as hard as he was trying to keep still as Roger sucked him, Novak just couldn’t prevent himself from thrusting up into the older man’s mouth from time to time. Yet, the hand that had always been on his hips when they’d done this before was still missing, in spite of his obviously senseless struggle for control.

 

Roger shifted a bit on the couch, taking him even deeper when Novak thrust up again, and the Serb almost came when he realized that Roger _wanted_ him to fuck his mouth. “Fuck”, he grunted and lifted his head to look down at the man, his hips jerking desperately when dark eyes glanced up at him. “Oh, God…”

 

He didn’t even recognize his own sounds anymore as he raced towards release, losing more and more of his inhibition. What really got him off, though, was the pleasure written all over Roger’s face as he sucked him off. The Swiss was undeniably turned on just from giving him a blow-job and Novak finally gave in to the urge to touch him.

 

Roger grunted loudly when he grasped him through his jeans, a little surprised to find him completely hard in his hand. He started to massage him, gasping when the moans his touch evoked sent delicious vibrations through Novak’s painfully hard dick.

 

There was a moment of hesitation as Roger started to push into his hand more vigorously, and Novak knew he was bringing him to the brink as well. Despite his mounting arousal, he still realized that Roger was hesitating because of his promise to fuck him.

 

With a groan the Serb placed a hand on his lover’s head, gently grasping some of the strands to hold him in place as he showed Roger that this was how he wanted to do it. Novak continued to fuck his mouth while making quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans. He had to stretch to the side a bit to slip his hand into the pants, but the choked grunt he got more than made up for the slightly awkward position.

 

Less than a minute later he couldn’t hold back anymore, coming fiercely as Roger’s whole body shuddered at his tightened grip around him. Novak felt him pulsate in his hand, making a mess as the hot fluid covered his hand, as well as Roger’s clothes and stomach.

 

Completely worn out he sank back against the cushions as the older man licked him clean, which he did a bit more thoroughly than absolutely necessary. Novak waited until Roger was lying comfortably on his thigh again, brown depths glancing up at him with that gorgeous smirk of his right in place.

 

Once their gazes were locked, the Serb lifted his hand and started licking his fingers clean, not missing the gasp on Roger’s lips, or how his eyes darkened several shades. A familiar taste flooded his senses and Novak moaned because of it, soundly sucking on his fingers while Roger stared at him.

 

“You taste so good, you know that?” The young man brought his hand close to Roger’s face and pushed his thumb between these sexy lips, letting Roger clean his last finger for him. He moaned at the taste of himself, holding Novak’s gaze all the time as he first licked over the whole length of his finger, then sucking him slowly into his mouth.

 

It was enough to make the Serb’s cock start to stir again. “Good Lord”, he mumbled, unable to tear his eyes from the sight of Roger sucking his finger. “I can’t decide if I prefer kissing your lips or having them suck me. You’re so good at both.”

 

“Keep on talking like that and you’re not going to get any sleep tonight.”

 

His words made Novak laugh, though it was a bit breathless as well. “Again, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but that’s kind of exactly what I was hoping for. You’re still supposed to fuck me, after all.”

 

A moment later Roger was sitting upright, his hands grasping Novak’s face to pull him into one of these kisses that had the potential of making the young man come without being touched once. He groaned when he was pushed onto his back, grasping whatever clothes he could reach to tear off Roger. Their naked chests collided and though Novak had been keen to move them back to the bed before, he really liked this now.

 

“Damn time we do it on your couch”, he whispered against the shell of Roger’s ear, his breath making the man shiver.

 

“And why is that?” Roger lowered his head to kiss his neck, while his hands were busy stripping him naked.

 

“I’m just thinking couch should come before kitchen”, Novak gasped. He buried both his hands in Roger’s hair, holding onto him as his lips caressed him in the most beautiful way. “God, please, don’t stop.”

 

“I won’t, if you reach over into the drawer underneath the table.”

 

His eyes were closed and for a moment Novak just soaked up the sensations as Roger ravaged his neck. Before he could get too consumed in the sweet torture, though, Novak quickly got a condom and lube from the drawer, pushing both in his lover’s hand.

 

Somehow the Swiss managed to quickly put on the condom and lube up without stopping his efforts at driving Novak insane, while all he could do was hold onto Roger. It was amazing, getting to notice every little hitch of breath as the man touched himself, and Novak was hard again and leaking by the time Roger whispered into his ear: “Need to be prepared?”

 

All he could do as a response was a shake of his head, anticipating what was about to come way too much to be able to find the words. His legs were wound around Roger’s waist, calves resting on his back. Novak moaned deliciously as Roger pushed into him steadily, not stopping even once to give him a moment to adjust.

 

Thanks to these annoyingly gifted lips still distracting him, the Serb easily got over the slight burn as he was stretched. He arched his back once Roger was all the way in, leaving Novak shuddering at the sensation of being completely full.

  
“You feel so good”, he whispered and turned his head to lick Roger right underneath his ear, one of his weak spots as he knew. “So hard, so big. I love this so much. Ja volim te.”

 

Novak felt the shiver that rocked through his lover at his words, and a second later they were kissing again as Roger started to move inside him. The sounds slipped from his throat, the cock stabbing perfectly at his prostate and the younger man had to break the kiss to suck air into his lungs.

 

“Faster, Roger”, Novak gasped and clung onto his lover’s shoulders, grunting when Roger did as he asked without losing his rhythm. “Oh God, yes.”

 

It occurred to him that they’d make an even more explicit sight if someone should come in through the front door in that moment. They were both stark naked, and from the perspective one had on the couch from the entrance area, there would be little hidden from what exactly they were doing.

 

“No one’s going to come in, stop staring at the fucking door”, Roger mumbled against his neck, just to bite him sharply into his shoulder in the next moment. Novak grunted, his mind snapping back to _what exactly they were doing_ as the older man thrust into him especially hard, making him scream out. “Yeah, that’s more like it…”

 

Roger lifted his head as he leaned with his hands on both sides of his chest, staring down at him as he intensified his thrusts, taking every breath out of Novak. His hips were snapping against him, nailing the Serb’s sweet spot and just before he was about to lose his bloody fucking mind, Novak exploded between them.

 

His muscles clenched down on Roger, tearing a loud groan from him. The man hid his face in the crook of Novak’s neck again, hands burying in black hair as he fucked him desperately. He was losing control, or at least a friction of it, and Novak loved every moment of it.

 

With a couple of guttural grunts the Swiss came hard, shivering intently as he spurted into the condom for what seemed longer than it should. Novak felt his fast breath against the skin of his shoulder, Roger leaning on his elbows as he tried to come back to his senses.

 

The Serb had just been lying there motionlessly as Roger had fucked his brains out, but now he’d regained enough strength to lift his hands and stroke over his lover’s back leisurely. Peppering gentle kisses on his neck and shoulder, Novak waited patiently until Roger’s breath had gone back to normal.

 

“Now _that_ was amazing”, he eventually said with a smirk, meaning it wholeheartedly.

 

“You okay?” There was just a hint of worry in Roger’s voice, betraying him for the fact that he had indeed lost a part of his control. It was cute somehow, knowing he worried about hurting him, but the question still made Novak laugh.

 

“Please tell me you’re kidding here. Of course I’m okay, I’m great. God, I love it when you lose control.”

 

Roger wanted to say something else, but the Serb bit him lightly in his earlobe, shutting him up effectively. “I like it rough from time to time, Roger. We’re definitely going to repeat this.”

 

“Hmm”, the older man made and lifted his head to look down at him. “Then I guess I’m in.”

 

“Sounds good to me.” Novak was lost in brown orbs, wondering for a moment what it would be like if Roger really lost all his inhibitions, if he gave up every control he had over himself. It sounded so surreal, really, because he simply didn’t know anyone who was more self-controlled than his lover.

 

Maybe it was that fact that had Novak trembling with lust at just the thought of Roger losing it. God, even this glance at the untamed passion a couple of minutes ago had already been mind-blowing. He couldn’t wait to sometime get the Swiss to go down that line completely.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Roger asked and pulled out of him slowly, knotting the condom before cuddling up to Novak’s side.

 

“You”, he replied truthfully, pressing a kiss in his lover’s hair. “Why were you so sure no one would come in?”

 

“My parents won’t make the same mistake twice, and no one else has a key.”

 

Sounded pretty logical, but… “You could have told me that.”

 

“The prospect of getting caught turned you on, didn’t it?” Roger looked up at him with a smirk. “So why on earth would I tell you?”

 

 “You’re such a naughty boy”, Novak chuckled. “It’s horribly sexy.”

 

“Speaking of sexy, didn’t you want to go back to bed?”

 

“I refuse to move and besides, this way we can stay here for a while longer and then take something to eat with us.”

 

“Dinner in bed, I like that.”

 

“Is there a chance we can start with the dessert?”

 

“And you say I’m naughty here, Lord help me…”

 

~~~****~~~

 

They took in as much of the rest of that day and night as they could, and it proved to be the right thing to do, because the next morning reality came crashing down on them full force. Or really it crashed down on Roger, who had more missed calls on his phone than should be allowed on the day after Christmas.

 

He got to catch a glimpse of the Swiss’ usual day-to-day life and really, he finally understood why Roger had been hesitant to start their relationship in the first place. Novak didn’t get to talk to the man until they were on their flight to Donetsk, one call followed the other and it didn’t seem like it’d get any better once they were in the Ukraine.

 

“Welcome to my life, babe”, Roger smirked sarcastically and leaned his head against Novak’s shoulder, seemingly confident that his jet crew would look the other way in the right moments.

 

The Serb chuckled as he placed his arm around his lover’s shoulders, replying: “I doubt you’d do it if you didn’t like it.”

 

Roger was silent at that, which wasn’t exactly the reaction Novak had expected, not even close. “Did I say something wrong?”

 

“No.” The older man shook his head and glanced up at him, smiling gently. “I’m just a bit tired, I guess. Comes with too little sleep.”

 

“Yeah, it does.” Novak kissed Roger on the forehead and sighed happily, though he somehow felt like he was missing something there. He couldn’t put his finger on it, though. “You okay?”

 

“Missing the quiet days of the last few weeks.” Roger chuckled amusedly. “Did you have to tell me you love me that day? I could be looking forward to the hectic pace of the next few months right now, but instead I’m already mourning every night I won’t be with you.”

 

“You cannot expect me to be seriously sorry about any of this and besides, you could still look forward to the nights we’ll actually have. I promise I’ll make up for my horrible timing.”

 

“Sounds like I might be able to live with that.” They both laughed and shared a soft kiss before falling silent, enjoying the quiet before the storm.

 

Following the concert in the Ukraine was another one in Moscow the next day. They were on a plane again right after that one, arriving in Abu Dhabi very early in the morning and Novak and Roger dropped onto the bed of the master suit like dead. Just as they got comfortable in bed, the younger man’s cell rang loudly, causing both men to grunt.

 

“Don’t answer”, Roger mumbled into his pillow, trying to take the phone out of Novak’s hands.

 

“I have to take this, it’s Marian. Roger, take your hands off me, now!”

 

“The fact that you’re able to bring out these words without bursting into flames hurts me.”

 

“Would you shut up, Marian has no idea.”

 

“Another person close to you who doesn’t know you’re gay?”

 

“Why do you make that sound so… Oh, just shut up. Marian, what’s up?”

 

“Where the fuck are you, Djokovic? You have a tournament coming up, and if you’re coming at me with the shit excuse that it’s just an exhibition, I’ll swear to God…”

 

“Before you say something you’ll regret, I just arrived at the hotel. I need to sleep for a couple of hours, but I can meet you at the training courts around 6 p.m.? C’mon, it’s not like we planned on meeting any earlier, anyway.”

 

Marian was silent, and so was Roger. Novak smirked when he realized that the older man had fallen asleep while he’d been talking. He cuddled up to him and pulled the sheets over them as he listened to his coach. “Fine. I’m still mad at you. Called your father and asked where the fuck you were, not answering my calls. You could have told me you’re seeing someone yourself.”

 

“I’m sorry, Marian.” The Serb lowered his voice a bit, trying to sound rather tired than like he was trying not to wake his bed company. “I was going to tell you today. And I’m sorry about the calls, but I was just trying to relax and enjoy my last days of freedom.”

 

“Yeah, it’s okay. Who is your new girl, by the way? Am I going to meet her sometime?”

 

“Sometime, yeah.” Novak stroked over Roger’s cheek softly, feeling like he needed to apologize for letting the girlfriend comment slide. “We’ll talk later, okay? I’m dead tired.”

 

“Fine, go to sleep. Oh, and make it 5.” With that the Slovak hung up on him, as usual without any words of goodbye. The young man chuckled amusedly and turned his cell silent before cuddling up to Roger, drinking in the warmth of his body and steady breath. It didn’t take long for him to fall into a deep sleep.

 


	17. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do some talking after the first match they played against each other since becoming a couple, and enjoy their night together.

**December 30, 2011. Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates**

 

“You played great.”

 

“You didn’t.” Novak closed the zipper of his bag before he stood up and turned to look at his lover. They were alone in the locker rooms after their match, waiting to be called for their interviews. Roger leaned casually against one of the lockers, his bags beside his feet.

 

The Swiss smirked at his words. “How can I if you don’t give me a chance.”

 

Novak couldn’t deny how damn much these words meant to him, but he also couldn’t help the frown on his forehead. 6-2, 6-1. This hadn’t been a match at eye level, and the young man wondered why that was. It wasn’t that he thought Roger hadn’t tried, well, not exactly at least.

 

“What, you think I’ve been going easy on you?” Roger lifted an eyebrow, just to straighten up and walk over to him very slowly, arms crossed in front of his chest. “And why on earth would I do that, Djokovic?”

  
There was something about the older man calling him by his last name that had Novak back away from Roger, which happened to be not even a step before he collided with his own locker. He swallowed hard.

 

“Listen, Djokovic, just so we’re clear here.” Roger didn’t stop until their chests were pressed together, pinning him where he was with his hands on both sides of him. “I love you and I respect you, as a man and a player. And I promise you I will try my very best to nail your sorry ass in every single match we’ll play against each other. I honestly appreciate it very much when you wake me with a blow-job”, Novak snorted at that, causing the Swiss to smirk at him suggestively. “… or do something else that makes me appreciate you very much. My point is, it doesn’t change anything about the fact that I aim to win every single match I play.”

 

“And what exactly motivates you, if it’s not returning a little favor here and there?” Novak smirked suggestively as well, after all two could play this game.

 

Roger shrugged, and though his eyes shone with amusement, his words were serious. “Most of all, my fans. And then there’s the fact that I love the game, and winning’s part of it. No one plays tennis to lose.”

 

To the young man’s surprise, Roger moved yet a little closer to him and though Novak knew they were alone, he wasn’t so sure this was all that clever. Not that he said something when he felt soft lips ghosting over his neck. “Want to know something else?”

 

“Tell me”, Novak gasped and closed his eyes as gentle hands started stroking over his lower back leisurely.

 

“I am also going to have you on my mind, Nole, whenever I play a match.” Roger retreated and he knew the man was looking at him, but Novak didn’t open his eyes as he went on talking. “It isn’t really about winning for you, but, I don’t know, somehow it is. And it’s something very different, playing against you now, and maybe we should have talked about that before.”

 

“We probably should have, yeah.”

 

“I want you to know that the day I won’t give my best in a match anymore is the day I retire. I’ve always given everything I have against you, and that’s not going to change. If at all, I’ll try even more to beat you.”

 

Novak groaned, eyes opening to look into dark brown ones. “And here I thought you love me.”

 

“Which is exactly why I will always give you everything I have.” Roger smiled that gorgeous smile of his. “You deserve the best I have, and I’ll give you that in every single match. Then again, as competitive as our matches may be, I don’t want you to think that I won’t be very happy for every match, for every tournament that you’re going to win. Basically, I want you to win every single match you play…”

 

“Just not the ones against you. Got it. Have I told you that it’s kind of sexy when you go all selfish on me?”

 

Roger burst out laughing at his words and he moved in to kiss him on the cheek, arms winding around his waist tightly. “There’s something else we need to talk about, because we _really_ should have talked about this sooner and we could have, had we seen each other last night.”

 

“Too bad Marian held me captive.”

 

“Too bad, yeah.” The grin was all audible in Roger’s voice. “Question one: Are we going to spend our nights before matches together or apart?”

 

Novak leaned back to stare disbelievingly at his lover. “Are you fucking kidding me? That’d mean I wouldn’t see you at all during the next few months. At all.”

 

“Well, not really, but…”

 

“Move on to question numero doz, before I forget why I fell in love with you in the first place. I’m really that close.”

 

Roger laughed out loud and moved in to kiss him gently, whispering: “Fine, no sleeping apart, got it. Question two: What about the nights before we play against each other?”

 

That question was worth pondering for a moment, but in the end the Serb just sighed. “I honestly don’t think it’d change anything. I’m never going to _want_ to beat you in any match, so I’m fine with seeing you. Unless it’s a problem for you, then I’d be fine with that, too.”

 

Roger studied him for a few moments, finally saying with a shrug: “Together it is. What about sex?”

 

Novak quirked an eyebrow. “You’re asking really weird questions here. What do you _think_ I’m possibly going to say to that?” And really, there was no way he was purposely going to miss out on sex with Roger in any way. They may do it a little gentler before a match, but in all honesty, they’d have to do it really hard to have it affect their matches.

 

There was a content smirk on the Swiss’ face and he leaned in for another kiss, this one longer and more intense than the one before. “Last question”, Roger whispered, still so close to him that their lips were touching. “And definitely the most important one.”

 

“What question is that?” Novak shivered as they stared at each other, being so close that it felt almost as if they were melted together as one instead of two separate bodies.

 

“Are you going to eat dinner with me tonight? My room, 7 p.m.?”

 

“That’s indeed a very important question. I don’t feel comfortable answering this in a rush. How can I get back to you?”

 

The older man looked at him for a few seconds, eventually quirking one eyebrow as he answered with all seriousness: “You have my number, so take your time thinking this through. I have to tell you, though, I’m a very busy man and if something else comes up, it might be too late.”

 

“Then I guess I’ll have to think fast, hmm?” Novak grinned broadly and leaned in for another kiss before stepping out from their position to pick up his bags. “I’m off to the interviews, this can’t possibly take so long. And, Roger?”

 

He turned back to the man, who was still leaning with one arm against the locker, nodding at himself with a half-smirk for being left standing there. “Yes, Novak?”

 

“7 p.m. it is, and it’d be nice if you were already naked. I’d hate to waste time with such things, after all we have to make up for last night.”

 

“You got it, babe.” With that Roger turned and bent down for his own bags, offering Novak a generous view on his ass and the Serb groaned as he opened the door, just barely able to tear his eyes away. Bastard.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Roger rolled off him and fell onto his back, granting Novak the much needed chance to regain his breath. They lay beside each other, both of them staring at the ceiling as Novak reached out for Roger’s hand, squeezing it gently as he unceremoniously stated: “Wow.”

 

“I think you’re right.” The Swiss was pretty out of breath as well, his chest rising and falling in a quick rhythm. “We shouldn’t do too many nights without each other, at least not when we have a choice.”

 

“You do get your heart checked every once in a while, yeah?”

 

Within a split second Novak was on his side, hands in front of him defensively as he expected another tickling attack, while Roger just turned his head to look at him. “I see you at least know that this was a little harsh.”

 

“So you do?”

 

“Learn to watch your mouth, Djokovic.” The man was chuckling as he said that, proving that he didn’t mind all that much to be mocked with his age. “Six years difference isn’t that much.”

 

“Not in real life, no, but in tennis it is.”

 

“I’m thinking of me whipping your ass at Roland Garros this year, but I was half a year younger then, maybe that’s why you didn’t stand a chance.”

 

Novak made a sound that was a mix of a laugh and a moan, replying: “Don’t have to remind me of that, spent some quality time in the showers after that one.”

 

“I know.” The Swiss burst out laughing at his dumbstruck expression. “C’mon, you aren’t the first guy to have a long soapy shower after a win.”

 

“I didn’t win, and I wasn’t jerking off thinking about the match.”

 

“I know that now.”

 

A moment later Novak was leaning over the older man, capturing soft lips in a heated kiss while these gifted hands stroked over his back leisurely. He moaned, moving his leg across Roger’s body as he broke their kiss to whisper: “So, you heard me in the shower that day?”

 

“I did, but I knew what you sound like when you come long before that.” Roger grinned broadly at his once again disbelieving expression and a moment later he moved them around the bed, easily regaining control. He leaned down to suck on Novak’s bottom lip, then adding in a whisper: “Being quiet isn’t exactly your strong point, Novak. Not that I mind, but I just really hope that not every other player knows what I knew before we had sex for the first time.”

 

 “God, just shut it, I seriously don’t wanna think about…” Novak left his sentence unfinished as Roger moved in for another kiss, which was admittedly better than thinking about, say Tsonga, listening to him jerking off. Or Rafa. One of the Andys. Ick.

 

“I don’t mind at all”, the Swiss smirked when they broke apart for air. “I love how you sound when you come. Spent some time in the shower myself thinking about that.”

 

With a low moan Novak reached up for another kiss, unsure whether he should blush at the words or just ravish Roger right then. He didn’t get to do either as a knock sounded from the door, causing the older man to quickly jump out of bed and pull on jeans.

 

~*~

 

Novak grunted in frustration. “You know, watching you dress is damn sexy, but I prefer watching you take the clothes off. Just a personal preference.”

 

Roger ignored him, though he couldn’t suppress his grin. “I’m not going to face room service stark naked. Dinner in bed?”

 

“Try and get me out of it, after that confession of yours. I’d rather suggest you get back in here asap.”

 

With a chuckle he went to get the food and give the room service a generous tip, mostly for bringing dinner in a moment when it wasn’t all that hard to leave bed. Not that he told the guy that.

 

It had been an eternity before the two of them had hooked up that Roger had enjoyed a late dinner in bed, and he loved every moment of it. Novak looked adorable, eyes closing in delight whenever something tasted especially delicious, and that happened quite a lot.

 

Roger enjoyed the food as well, but if he was honest – and he had no problem admitting that -, it was all just a form of sustained foreplay. The young Serb leaned in several times to lick away droplets of sauce from his chin, though he was pretty sure he couldn’t possibly be such a sloppy eater.

 

Not that he minded. By the time they came to dessert, Roger had a mischievous grin on his face and dropped some of the cream on his strawberry onto Novak’s stomach, absolutely not accidentally. He didn’t miss the strangled gasp when the cool substance hit hot skin, or the moan as he leaned down to slowly lick it off.

 

“That’s definitely one fantasy becoming reality”, Novak whispered, eyes dark with desire as Roger deliberately spread out more cream on him.

 

“One fantasy, huh?” He smirked as he slowly licked his way up the Serb’s body, loving the mix of subtle sweetness with the manliness of what was purely Novak. “Tell me about some more, then.”

 

Not waiting for an answer, Roger licked over a nipple before sucking the nub into his mouth, eliciting a breathless groan that had him silently cursing the confined space of his jeans. God, he loved these sounds Novak made way too much.

 

“Us, in the showers”, the young man finally replied, voice as raspy as it could get before giving out completely. Another sound Roger found irresistible.

 

“I conclude you don’t mean our private showers”, he said and lifted his head to look at Novak, who just shrugged with a very cute blush on his cheeks.

 

“The thought of you taking me, while only a curtain shields us from the others…”

 

“A very exciting thought indeed.” With that Roger took the strawberry between his teeth and brought their faces close, ignoring the remaining cream for now. He was so close that he could see every perfect little imperfection in Novak’s iris, its gorgeous color having shifted towards emerald like it always did when arousal took over.

 

With more wariness than absolutely necessary the Serb reached up and bit off half of the seasoned fruit, moaning at the delicious taste flooding his senses. They stared at each other while chewing, unable to look away and then they were kissing, deep and intimate and so impossibly sweet. Roger was just shy of covering Novak’s body with his own, wanting to feel him against his skin more than anything.

 

Instead, even though it was damn hard to resist, he gently broke their kiss and slid down again, licking away the rest of cream that he felt reluctant to waste. The whimper-like moans he received drove Roger insane, and eventually he couldn’t stand it anymore.

 

He shifted to lie on top of Novak, their bodies melting together and neither of them could bite back their moans. Delicate hands stroked over his back, their demanding touch an erotic contrast to how soft they felt against his skin. After a while they moved down, grasping his still jeans-clad ass before impatiently trying to push the fabric down.

 

“Off. Now”, Novak grumbled, a shiver rocking through Roger at the unhidden desire in the young man’s voice and in his hectic movements to get him undressed. He couldn’t remember ever having felt _this_ wanted.

 

“Then take them off.”

 

There was pure fire in hazel green eyes and a moment later Roger was on his back, determined hands almost tearing open his jeans. He lifted his hips as Novak pulled them down and off his legs, just to swallow him whole a second later.

 

Every breath was knocked out of Roger, making his moan sound like nothing more than a gasp. It wasn’t how he’d wanted this to go, but God, Novak really knew what he was doing and Roger wasn’t about to tell him to stop.

 

His nerves were set alight, his own desire, but mostly Novak’s washing over him, consuming him. There were no words to describe how good he felt in that moment, and not only in a sexual way. He felt desired, loved, and God was he _happy_.

 

“Novak”, Roger moaned deeply, burying his fingers in thick black hair. He didn’t push, didn’t pull, just enjoyed the contact, the closeness of the man he’d come to love more than he’d ever wanted to.

 

Well, that really weren’t the right words. When he came the Swiss kept on watching Novak, his eyes closed as he swallowed everything he got. Once he was spent, Roger gently grasped his lover’s chin, pulling him up and on top of him.

 

Novak complied without hesitation, hard body slick with sweat just like his own and Roger couldn’t resist the temptation of kissing him, not even wanting to try. It was these little things, everything that he couldn’t resist of doing that scared him.

 

He loved the Serb, he knew that, but sometimes it was scary to realize just how much he really did, after such a short time. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to love Novak, just not so much, just not so soon, just not yet.

 

Roger moved Novak onto his back carefully, their lips never parting as he reached for a condom and gently put it on him before also picking up the lube. He knew the younger man was struggling not to come right then and he grasped him a friction too tightly, easing him away from the brink.

 

He wasn’t so sure what Novak had thought, but lust-consumed eyes widened in surprise when Roger straddled his thighs, a moment later lowering himself down on him. With no preparation, at all, it hurt, but the sight of his lover throwing his head back, a deep guttural groan leaving his throat, did the trick of distraction.

 

The position was a first for them, and Roger inwardly cursed himself for not having done this sooner. Novak was so beautiful like this. His body glistened with sweat, breath coming in little gasps as he forced his hips to keep still, to not give into the temptation of thrusting up into the tight heat like he wanted to so badly.

 

His own cock was hard again by the time they were entirely connected, a deep moan leaving Roger’s lips at the sensation of being full. It probably hadn’t been the best idea to do this the day before his match against Rafa, but God was it worth the pain.

 

“I can’t even begin to tell you how good this feels”, he whispered into the silence, hands splaying out on Novak’s muscled chest.

 

“Not only you”, the Serb gasped, his gorgeous eyes opening into Roger’s. “Now that I think about it, this was another fantasy.”

 

“Then it must be a damn good night for you”, Roger laughed breathlessly and leaned down to sweep in for a kiss. “Tell me about, hmm, let’s say three other fantasies of yours.”

 

“Will you start moving, then?”

 

Roger smiled at the desperation in Novak’s voice. “I promise.”

 

“Me, hand cuffing you to a bed and licking chocolate off your body. You, making love to me on a beach, with the waves around us.” There was a moment of silence, then even quieter than before: “Us, kissing in the middle of the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club’s Center Court.”

 

The Swiss forgot how to breathe as he stared down at Novak, his heart leaping and flipping and jumping all at once. God, how was he supposed to keep at least a friction of distance when his lover said things like this. How was he supposed to shelter that little piece of his heart that he’d need to save himself if things went horribly wrong.

 

“Move, Rog. Please.” Warm hands moved up his thighs and chest and to his neck, thumbs caressing his jaw as Roger did as Novak asked without thinking, unable to refuse his request. The rhythm was slow and gentle, but it only made it all that much more beautiful, almost painfully so.

 

Novak seemed to have lost his ability to speak, but his hands didn’t hold still once. They were everywhere on Roger’s body, thumbs brushing his nipples every once in a while, until it was all becoming too much.

 

“Sit up, Novak”, he moaned lowly, followed by a breathless grunt when the Serb complied without hesitation. Roger was sure he could feel him even deeper and he halted in his movements to lean his forehead against Novak’s, needing a moment to summon himself.

 

“Would it be awkward if I thanked you right now?”

 

Words couldn’t describe how beautiful his lover’s eyes were in that moment, completely open and vulnerable and full of love. Roger swallowed, needing to wet his dust dry throat. “For what would you possibly thank me?”

 

“For making love to me.” Novak kissed him on the corner of his mouth sweetly. “I never made love before you.”

 

“But you said…”

 

“Not like this. Never so slow, so beautiful. So meaningful.”

 

Roger wanted to reply something, at best something more intelligent than ‘ _You’re welcome_ ’, but he couldn’t speak. His throat was tight, as was his heart. Good God.

 

He just stared at the young man until Novak moaned lowly, a shiver rocking through him and even if Roger knew that he shouldn’t, not in that moment of raw and perfect loveliness, he still whispered: “I love you so damn much.”

 

“God, Roger, me too. Me, too.” Novak framed his face with both hands and pulled him in for a kiss, moaning again when Roger resumed his movements. They rocked together and the Swiss felt exactly how the beauty of the moment drew him in, his heart aching and bubbling over with joy at the same time.

 

They came together and clung onto each other in the aftermath, neither of them willing to move even a tiny little bit. Roger breathed in a scent he didn’t want to miss for anything in the world anymore, wondering vaguely if he should ask Novak for one of his shirts the next time they’d be apart.

 

“I love you.” The words were whispered against his ear and Roger was stunned when he noticed for the first time how easily they flew from Novak’s lips these days, how certain he sounded. He was aware that the young man said it more often than he did, mostly leaving him to return the sentiment. It didn’t seem like Novak minded, though.

 

“I love you, too”, he whispered back, but couldn’t look at Novak in that exact moment. The words were true, no doubt, but at the same time Roger was also so damn scared. What if he fucked this up? What if… Good God, he couldn’t even _think_ about that.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Speaking of not being able to look at Novak, the young man upset that plan by leaning back slightly, beautiful bright eyes filled with love and a bit of worry.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Roger smiled, because really, he _was_ fine. It was just becoming clearer and clearer to him how deep he was already in this, and it wasn’t exactly calming to be able to gauge the huge crater Novak would leave behind if things went down the hill.

 

As he looked into his lover’s eyes, the Swiss also couldn’t make himself regret any of that. Everything was feeling right, so damn right, and Roger wished he could just enjoy this, not wanting to think about the hell he’d go through if he’d lose this again.

 

Yet he knew that’d be everything he could think about when he’d be alone again. Those dark thoughts were all too familiar, and Roger was sure that he might even manage to convince himself that Novak had been a bad idea.

 

But not now, not when they were together. Right then it was just Novak with his distinct manly features that Roger knew he could draw relying solely on his memory. Maybe he would. He wasn’t as much of an original painter, but he loved the art of the old masters, loved copying those whenever he needed a way to stop thinking.

 

This time, though, Roger might make an exception. Just a rough sketch, thinking that no matter how detailed the painting would be, it couldn’t possibly capture the beauty of this moment, of this man.

 

Nothing could.

 

 


	18. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After almost two weeks of separation, the two lovers finally see each other again.

 

**January 13, 2012. Melbourne, Australia**

 

“Yeah, Marian, good night. See you tomorrow.” Novak quietly closed the door of his hotel room and let out a deep sigh. It was still early in the evening, but at least he was alone. Finally.

 

Each of his bags landed on the ground with a quiet thud. Novak couldn’t care less as he hurried into his bedroom where he let himself fall onto the bed face down, immediately reaching under the pillows to pull out the shirt he was keeping there.

 

As he tucked it under his head and shamelessly buried his nose in the fabric, the young Serb noticed that its scent had fainted slightly over the last twelve days. That wasn’t so surprising, considering he’d spent each and every night with it in his arms, clinging to his only chance to be somewhat close to Roger.

 

It felt like an eternity since they had last seen each other, which had been the morning of New Year’s Day. They had spent the whole night together, celebrating the start of a new year in Roger’s bed, from which they’d had a fantastic view on the fireworks above the rooftops of Abu Dhabi.

 

He had never understood why people were so ecstatic about this particular holiday. In Novak’s opinion it was just another day, admittedly in another year, but the hype around it remained a mystery to him.

 

This time, though, it’d been different. It had been their first joined holiday – Christmas didn’t really count, they hadn’t spent all their time together -, and that alone had made it special. It had felt a bit like celebrating their relationship as well, and he’d loved the idea of spending much more New Year’s Eves with the man who meant so much to him.

 

Roger had insisted on raising a toast, despite his no alcohol rule during his world tour – “It was my damn idea, and I can break my own damn rule for something like this, damn it.” Well, Novak hadn’t complained, the champagne had been fantastic, as had been everything else that night.

 

The next morning the loud ringing of a phone had torn them from sleep. While Roger had taken a quick shower, Novak had answered his coach’s call and all of a sudden reality had crept back in.

 

Marian had made it very clear that he’d expected his protégé on the flight to Melbourne that very same day, and Novak hadn’t really known what he could have said against that. His coach had been right, his preparation for the first Grand Slam of the year had lacked somewhat in existence until then, but he still hadn’t liked it.

 

His restlessness had made him get out of bed and after quickly pulling on his boxers, Novak had walked over to the windows when he’d noticed Roger’s shirt lying on the ground. He had picked it up with the intention of placing it over one of the chairs to stop it from crumpling, but once he’d held it, the Serb hadn’t been able to let go again.

 

The Ralph Lauren cloth had felt amazing in his hands, undeniably more expensive than almost every shirt Novak owned himself. His first instinct had been to carefully put it down again, like it was some piece of art and would break if he held it for too long. Instead he’d lifted it to his face and had taken a hesitant sniff, just to close his eyes at the turmoil of emotions rising up inside him.

 

Roger’s smell had been so prominent, so pure that Novak had been unable to put it back down. Once Marian had hung up he had thrown his cell on the bed, shirt still in his hands as he’d stared out the window, trying to figure out how the hell he was supposed to get through two weeks without his most favorite drug in the world.

 

“You can have it if you want.”

 

The Swiss’ voice had made him jump, literally, and Novak knew he had blushed a very deep red at being caught. Strong arms had wound around his waist from behind and for a while they had silently watched the sun rise over the Arabian Desert. The sight had been beautiful, though Novak had sometime dragged Roger back to bed, trading the view for something even more beautiful.

 

In the end he’d travelled to Melbourne with the exact same number of shirts as before, including Roger’s, but missing one of his own, and Novak couldn’t help the butterflies at knowing that the older man had wanted one of his shirts as well. He had been a bit more subtle about it than Novak, but it had still spoken volumes.

 

The flight to Australia had never felt so long, and neither had checking in to their hotel. Over the next two weeks it had become some kind of ritual; the first thing he’d do whenever he came back to his room was lying down on his bed and getting out Roger’s shirt. It didn’t matter if he was acting desperate, no one was there to witness it and Novak felt so much better after having breathed in the familiar scent, even if he had no illusion about the fact that Roger was still thousands of miles away.

 

And then Roger had pulled out of his semi-finals match against Tsonga in Doha. Marian had casually let the news slip during one of their training sessions, almost causing Novak to stumble over his own feet. He hadn’t been able not to ask what had been wrong, but thankfully the Slovak hadn’t read too much into it.

 

Back spasms, and from the sound of it they had been pretty bad, especially considering Novak still couldn’t remember the last time Roger had pulled out of a match. The rest of their training had gone by in a haze. The moment he’d been alone in the lockers the young man had pulled out his cell to call his lover, not wanting to wait until he was back in his hotel.

 

The Swiss hadn’t picked up, not then and not when Novak had tried again an hour later, which had just added up to his worry. He’d cursed himself for giving in to his coach and travelling to Melbourne, but damn it, Roger hadn’t said a word about a hurting back. And there was no denying that it had already been a factor in Abu Dhabi and the exhibition matches, something like this didn’t just happen spontaneously.

 

Not to someone who was as fit as Roger Federer, and Novak had kicked his own ass for not noticing. Of course he’d thought that the loss to Rafa had been a result of their night together, the slight hesitance in his movements coming from the lack of preparation as Roger had rode him. Turned out it had been much more than that.

 

He’d gone to bed clinging onto the shirt in his arms even tighter than usual, too worried to find sleep before late that night. And then early the next morning Novak had been awake again and trying to call Roger almost immediately.

 

Finally the man had picked up, sounding exactly as groggy as Novak had felt. Apparently Roger had taken pain meds the night before and had been dead to the world when Novak had called him the first few times.

 

The thought of his lover being unable to go to sleep without a bunch of pain meds had almost physically hurt, but it hadn’t been like there’d been anything he could have done about it. Even with the pain in his back Roger had refused to cancel one single show of his world tour, and though Novak admired him for that, he hadn’t been able to turn off his worry.

 

That had been over a week ago. In the meantime the Swiss had completed five more concerts all over Asia, but at least he’d spent the time in between solely with mending his back. Paul Annacone and some other members of his tennis team had joined his lover shortly after Abu Dhabi, somehow combining the constant travelling with preparing for the Aussies.

 

And then, of course, the news of Beyoncé giving birth to his goddaughter had also fairly helped to raise Roger’s mood. Blue Ivy, a gorgeous name for a beautiful baby girl and Novak couldn’t put it into words how much it meant to him that Roger had shared one of the first photos of the girl with him without any reservations.

 

By now, the young Serb was going insane over missing his lover. It was Friday evening and there was one more concert in Jakarta, Indonesia this night before tomorrow, January 14, Roger would finally make it to Melbourne. God. _Finally_.

 

His longing wasn’t just about missing Roger, or wanting to be there for him after that horrible time with his back pain. Things between them were going great, the relationship grew with each day, and them being apart didn’t do anything to lessen that. They kept in touch, almost daily calls, texts, always telling each other when something had happened. 

 

At the same time, though, Novak couldn’t help but feel like the older man was shutting him out, just a little bit and not enough for him to be able to confront him about it. Still, there were some moments that he found himself wondering. For example, why hadn’t Roger called him before taking the pain meds? And why hadn’t he told him about being in pain in the first place?

 

Novak wanted to know these things, wanted the man he loved to come to him when he needed him, but Roger didn’t seem to be ready for that. He couldn’t possibly still be unsure about Novak’s feelings for him, and he’d originally thought that it was clear that he wouldn’t mind for Roger to call him at any time.

 

Whatever it was, the Serb wasn’t sure what he should do about it, or really if he should be doing something at all. Maybe it was better to just give Roger time. After all it was him with the hurtful past, and it wasn’t like Novak was a hundred per cent sure that he wasn’t making things up in his mind.  

 

A familiar ring almost gave him a heart attack and Novak grunted as he had to move to get his cell out of his pockets. He smiled when he saw who was calling. “Hey”, he greeted softly and rolled onto his side, head still buried in Roger’s shirt. When he closed his eyes, he could downright pretend the man was there with him, his smell combined with his voice…

 

“Hey, you. What are you doing?”

 

“Lying on my bed, missing you. Everything ready for your concert? How’s your back?”

  
“Yeah, everything’s fine, even my back. I miss you too, by the way.”

 

“Good.” And it was these things that made Novak believe he was seeing things. If Roger really wanted to shut him out, why say things like this at all? “When will you be here tomorrow?”

 

“Actually I’ll arrive late in the night, or early morning if you prefer calling it that. Semantics.”

 

“Taking a flight right after the concert?”

 

“Yes, the warmth of Australia will do wonders for my back, so we’ve decided to not waste any time getting there.”

 

That much for Roger’s back being fine again. Damn it. “Want to come over when you arrive at the hotel?”

 

“I won’t have a key, and I don’t want to wake you.”

 

“I want you to wake me.” Novak inwardly sighed. Was that so hard to believe? “I told you I’m missing you, right? I’d love to wake up and you’re here.”

 

The soft chuckle made his heart miss a beat. “Fine, I’ll knock, but if you’re too tired to get up I’m going to my room and I’ll see you later tomorrow.”

 

“I can live with that.” The Serb smirked, knowing he’d won this one. No way was he going to let Roger go back to his room.

 

“Can’t promise you I’ll be up for much, though.”

 

“I can live with that, too. I just want you here.” They were silent, until Novak asked: “You going to be fit for the Aussies?”

 

“Ah, God, I don’t know. We’ll see how it goes.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like your back is fine, Roger. You don’t pull out of a match because of nothing.” He hesitated for a moment. “You know I’m asking you as your boyfriend, not as an opponent, yeah?”

 

“I know that, of course I do. It’s just, I don’t really know for myself.” Roger sighed. “It was pretty bad, but we’ve changed my daily program and I’m fine now.”

 

“Fine isn’t great.”

 

“No, it isn’t, but it’s all that’s possible right now. The warmth will help as well.”

 

“The additional strain of the concerts won’t.”

 

“That’s not a factor. Okay, fine. Yeah, my back still hurts, but Paul’s had some ideas about it and that works, it’s getting better every day. Plus, it’s not like it’s much worse after a concert. I’m cutting down on the tennis training, that’ll have to do.”

  
“You sure that’s a good idea?”

 

“We’ll see, I guess. It’ll mean a lot more training next year, but I’m fine with that.”

 

Novak himself wasn’t so sure, but he didn’t say it. He’d always known that Roger was determined, if not stubborn when it came to things like this. There was no way he was going to shorten or even cancel his world tour, so he might as well give up on it. In the end, all Novak could do was to be there when the Swiss needed him. If he’d let him, that was.

 

“Rafa’s throwing a party on Sunday.” The change of topic was a bit abrupt, but it didn’t seem like Roger minded. “I’m sure he’ll invite you as well, he said he’d planned it so late so that you could make it.”

 

“He already texted me. Are you going?”

 

“I’m not sure. You think that’d be a good idea?” Parties thrown by Rafa normally meant way too many people in the Spaniard’s hotel room, divided in two parts: the Armada on one side, and everyone else on the other. And that could easily mean that Novak and Roger would end up close all night, under the watchful eyes of their peers.

 

“You don’t trust your ability to keep your hands off me?”

 

“No, not at all.” Novak chuckled, but quickly became serious again. “What I mean is, it’d be way too conspicuous if we’d talk to each other too much, and then there’s that look you throw me every once in a while, with your love-struck puppy eyes…”

 

Roger laughed amusedly. “Very funny, Djokovic. That’s rich, coming from you.”

 

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” The laughter didn’t die down and Novak grumbled. “I haven’t heard you complain yet.”

 

“And I won’t, babe.” The older man’s voice was warm and soft now, almost a caress. “Look, I don’t really see your problem. It’s a party, and at least one of us will stay absolutely sober anyway.” Novak grinned at the mention of Roger’s no alcohol rule, knowing he’d started regretting that one a long time ago. “And where the hell’s the problem if we talk? Rafa will see it as good will from my side, and you…”

  
“Yeah, Roger, what about me? What did you want to say?”

 

“You’ll just be your usual cocky self, and everything will be fine.”

 

“Are you sure you’ll get through a whole evening of me being my cocky self and behave? Because really, if you start teasing me like you did during the photo shoot at the World Tour Finals…”

 

Roger laughed again. “Don’t tell me you didn’t like it.”

 

“I did, but I won’t wear a suit to hide the effects.”

 

“Why not? I like you in a suit.”

 

Novak rolled his eyes, trying to ignore his slight arousal from the tone in his lover’s voice. “It won’t happen, so shut it.”

 

“Fine. What are you wearing right now?”

 

The question stunned him, and for a moment he forgot how to speak. Admittedly, Novak was sexually frustrated – being apart from your boyfriend for two weeks could do that to you. Yet the thought of phone sex hadn’t crossed his mind once, despite the fact that they’d talked every day since leaving Abu Dhabi.

 

And now, this. God, if he didn’t know Roger was about to give another concert, Novak would have yet another fantasy of his becoming reality.

 

“Clothes, Roger”, he finally replied and cleared his throat. “Stop teasing when you know we can’t do anything about it. Your concert’s about to start.”

 

“So, I take it having phone sex with me is another fantasy of yours.” Roger shouldn’t sound so smug, it just wasn’t right. “You have a really dirty mind, Novak. I love that.”

 

The Serb moaned lowly. “I mean it, Roger. Stop it.”

 

“Or, what? I’ll hang up, leaving you lying in bed, all hard and desperate, while I go on stage?”

 

His pants were starting to tighten and Novak let out a Serbian curse he really wouldn’t want his mother to hear. “Tease”, he then grunted. “See? That’s exactly why I don’t think going to that party would be a good idea. I have no idea how you’d do it, but I can already picture us ending up having sex in the bathroom.”

 

“Why in the bathroom, we could do it right on the couch tab…”

 

“ROGER!”

 

“Listen, Novak. You’ll go to that party, and so will I. We’ll have a nice evening with our friends, and if it should happen, we’ll talk to each other, nice and easy. It’s not like we can avoid each other all the time and then, some day, come out all of a sudden. Think of it as a gentle familiarization for everyone, getting used to the crazy absurd idea that maybe, we don’t outright hate each other.” 

 

“Right now, I kind of do hate you.”

 

“That’s because you’re hard and sexually frustrated.”

 

“You’re not?”

 

“I’m thirty, Novak, and I’m fairly busy with other things at the moment. I’m good.”

 

That smirk in Roger’s voice was starting to get annoying, really. “Well, I’m not.”

 

“You want permission to get in the shower and do something about it?”

 

“I want you to get here and do something about it yourself.” Novak smirked at the hitch in Roger’s breath that he wasn’t able to suppress. “Now you wish we could do something about this, don’t you?”

 

“I could always let my concert start a little late.”

 

“God, don’t say that when you don’t mean it”, Novak half-moaned, the thought so damn tempting, having thousands of people waiting while Roger was touching himself to the sound of his voice… 

 

“Maybe I do mean it.” His lover’s voice was hushed and gentle, causing the younger man to shiver slightly.

 

“Maybe you do, but then again, maybe I don’t want you to start late. Maybe I’m more interested in having you here as soon as possible, with me?”

 

“Then we’ll do it that way”, Roger agreed, his amusement all audible in his voice. “I love you, Novak.”

 

“I love you too, Roger.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

_Light kisses tingle on the skin of his bare arm, followed by the warm touch of finger tips trailing along the lines of his bicep. His other arm receives the same treatment, causing Novak to moan deep in his throat, wanting, no,_ needing _more. A strong body melts against his, the warmth of the skin all around him, encasing him in a feeling of security._

_“You are amazing.” He can’t see Roger, but in his mind Novak sees his beautiful smile, twinkling brown eyes, dark hair so sexily mussed from his fingers, those sensual lips, still slightly swollen from their endless kissing, from the best love-making the Serb has ever had. Ever._

_This man, he does things to him that no other ever can, ever will. Gentle lips are still ghosting over his shoulder and neck, touching him, caressing him, everything to take him higher and higher. Novak feels weightless, the hard body against his a harsh contract to the softness of the covers he’s entangled in._

_There’s Roger, pulling him close, lips and tongue claiming his mouth for several long moments. Novak tilts his head back, the older man taking the invitation without hesitating while closing his hand around his cock. “Novak…” That dark voice encases him, wrapping him into a blanket of heat and the young man felt himself racing towards orgasm, just a bit more, a little longer…_

 

 

His eyes opened and he stared into the darkness around him, for a moment unsure of what could possibly have torn him from that damn wonderful dream. A few seconds later there was a quiet knock from his door, at least confirming that he hadn’t lost his mind. Yet.

 

With a grunt Novak freed himself from the huddle of covers around him, still half-asleep as he wavered towards the entrance door. He inwardly cursed whoever had dared to wake him up right before coming. Afterwards, he could have lived with it, but now he was grumpy. And of course he stumbled over his bags that he’d carelessly dropped that evening, it wasn’t like there was any justice in this world.

 

“What?” he snarled as he ripped the door open, only to freeze when he saw who exactly had dared to wake him.

 

“What, what?” Roger smirked at him, obviously amused by his bad mood at being woken. “You wanted me to knock, remember?”

 

If he was honest Novak couldn’t remember, but it didn’t seem to matter. He just stared at his lover, whose eyes darkened as he let his gaze travel down Novak’s complete body, taking in his appearance.

 

A cold shiver shook through him when he realized that he didn’t even know if he was naked or not. He had just crawled out of bed and gone to the door, never wasting a thought on clothes, or who could possibly have woken him in the middle of the night. If it had been someone else, say Marian or even worse, his father…

 

Novak risked a glance down at himself, but his relief to see his boxers was only short-lived. He inwardly groaned at the finding that, even though he wasn’t naked, his underwear didn’t do anything to hide his very prominent erection.

 

“Do you always open the door like that at night?”

 

This wasn’t his prime hour, definitely not. Novak’s brain was still working way too slowly and he found himself pinned against a wall before he could even open his mouth for a reply. He noticed that Roger had showered prior to coming over, his hair was still damp and the young man could smell his shower gel.

 

“You showered”, Novak mumbled non-intelligently. He rubbed his nose along Roger’s cheek, just to dip his head into the crook of his neck where he breathed in deeply. “I love how you smell.”

 

“Obviously”, Roger chuckled amusedly, though the Serb couldn’t imagine why. “You’re still half-asleep, is that possible?”

 

“Yeah.” A moan slipped through his lips at the thigh pressing between his legs, causing his hips to jerk helplessly. Was the door closed, by the way? “Yeah, Roger, right there.”

 

Another laugh reached his ear. “I take it you had nice dreams?”

 

“Very nice. You were in them.” Novak gently rode the leg between his, not even noticing the arms around his waist that were holding him upright. His head was on Roger’s shoulders, eyes closed and he couldn’t help but sigh happily.

 

“Nole, stay awake, okay? Stay awake for me.”

 

“I don’t necessarily have to be awake for you to fuck my brains out.” Novak didn’t know why that was making Roger groan, it was just the truth, wasn’t it?

 

“It’s four in the morning, babe. You don’t need me to fuck you, you need to sleep.”

 

“I need to get laid, that’s what I need. I’ve been missing your cock in my ass for two weeks, and I won’t wait a minute longer. Get me back to bed.”

 

Roger’s moan was a little high-pitched and Novak figured that his own brain-mouth connection suffered quite a lot when he was dead tired, but the thought slipped from his mind as he was roughly pulled away from the wall. With his eyes half-closed, the Serb let himself being guided into the bedroom.

 

He didn’t wait for a push, he just let himself fall onto the bed, burying his face in the pillows. Finger nails scratched across his skin as his boxers were pulled down, his cock twitching at the slight scraping. The fabric fell onto the ground and Novak spread his legs in anticipation, hearing another groan from behind him.

 

The rustling of clothes indicated that Roger was stripping as well, but he couldn’t make himself look. His eye lids were so damn heavy and he was almost certain he’d fallen asleep, startling awake when two slick fingers entered him at once. A guttural grunt left his throat, hips jerking as he was stretched deliberately.

 

“Just do me already”, Novak mumbled when a third digit slipped into him. Instead of doing as he said, Roger took his time finger-fucking him. The young man needed a while to make out the rhythmic sound of skin on skin contact, and he almost came realizing that the older man was touching himself.

 

It was almost too much of a turn on, and all he wanted was for Roger to fuck him. Now. “I’m much hotter and tighter than your hand, Rog.” He wiggled his ass a bit as he added seductively: “You know you want it.”

 

This little game he played could easily backfire, he knew that, but it was exactly what Novak wanted. Roger pulled out his fingers and was thrusting into him almost the exact same moment, grunting at the tightness that awaited him. He pushed in all the way at once, but then wanted to halt, to give Novak time to adjust.

 

The Serb felt it and started to move his hips the second Roger was all the way in, and then there was no holding back anymore. He reached back to grasp the man’s ass, pulling him closer as he thrust his hips back when Roger thrust forward, creating a hard and fast rhythm that had them both screaming breathlessly.

 

Novak wouldn’t be able to sit the next day, but the thought just made him move faster. There was no grace in their movements, this was fast and rough _Ineedyourightnow_ sex and both of them enjoyed every moment of it. They didn’t possibly last longer than two minutes, Roger coming first despite the fact that the younger man had been close to the edge much longer.

 

He felt Roger pulsate inside him, whimpers leaving his throat as his orgasm tore through him relentlessly and Novak exploded, coming so hard that some of his semen landed on his chin. It felt so good, the relief of the pressure inside him, and after a couple more heavy splashes covering his chest and the sheets, Novak broke down completely.

 

Every strength left his muscles. The only sign of life were the little shudders that shook through him from time to time, and Roger wasn’t any better. He was leaning with his forehead against the sweaty skin of his back, heavily panting and just as unable to move as Novak.

 

It felt like forever until one of them moved again, and it wasn’t the Serb. All he could do was gasp as Roger pulled out of him carefully, biting his lip at the flash of pain that jolted through him. He’d definitely feel this the next day, maybe even the day after as well, and Novak loved that thought.

 

After getting rid of the condom and quickly cleaning them up, Roger gently nudged him in his side and from all the nights they’d previously shared a bed Novak knew what the man wanted. With a soft grunt the young man shifted onto his side, deciding that this was definitely the last time he’d move that night.

 

He smiled when a hard and warm body spooned up behind him. “You could have warned me when we talked earlier.” The words were whispered against his neck, followed by light kisses on his skin and Novak sighed in contentment.

 

“What did you expect? I told you I was missing you, almost-phone-sex wasn’t about to help with that.”

 

Soft finger tips lightly stroked up and down his arm, leaving a wonderful tingle behind. “Next time I’ll make sure we have enough time to do something about it. And yes, that’s a promise.”

 

A smirk crept up Novak’s face and he thought that he really didn’t have anything to complain about concerning his lover’s age. Roger sounded nothing like they’d just desperately fucked each other’s brains out, very much in contrast to him. That much for men in their thirties…

 

“When do you have to get to the training courts tomorrow?” The Swiss’ voice was gentle, breath ghosting across his jaw and Novak wondered when all of this had become so natural, cuddling up after hot sex without the slightest bit of awkwardness. God, he loved this so damn much.

 

“Some time after noon”, he mumbled, feeling tiredness pull at him. “You?”

 

“No training, just a meeting with my team in the afternoon. Want me to wake you in the morning?”

 

“Depends on how you plan to do that.” No matter how tired he was, his mind was always good for a little tease at the outlook of sex.

 

Roger laughed. “I’ll think of something. Now, go back to sleep.”

 

“Love you”, Novak mumbled right before darkness enwrapped him, not even hearing the words whispered back as he was already sound asleep.

 


	19. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a party at Rafa's and then some time alone afterwards.

 

“Roger! So great you could make it!”

 

It was amazing Roger again and again just how quick Rafael Nadal was, on and off court, a bundle of energy that was currently pressing every air out of his lungs. He’d just arrived at the Spaniard’s hotel room. He was only a couple of minutes late, but Rafa seemed to have already missed him.

 

“Uhm, Rafa”, he gasped a little dramatically, and his smile probably betrayed him. “I need to breathe, you know.”

 

“Oh, right, sorry”, his friend grinned as if he’d just then realized that, yes, Roger Federer was in need of oxygen as well. Not that he was the only person to be surprised at that fact of sheer simplicity. “How are you? Back okay?”

 

“I’m good, Rafa, thanks.” Roger couldn’t help but smile at the man’s honest concern about his health. “What about you?”

 

“Me is good, thank you.” It should be forbidden to be beaming like this at such a simple question and the Swiss just had to laugh. “What?”

 

“Nothing”, Roger calmed Rafa and patted him on the shoulder. “Are you going to let me stand in the doorway all night?”

 

“Oh, right, sorry”, the Spaniard said for the second time within two minutes and quickly stepped to the side, inviting the older man in.

 

“Thanks.” With that he walked through the door before Rafa closed it behind him. Thankfully Roger found himself in one of the hotel’s bigger rooms, not that this was a given with Rafa. In the earlier years of their rivalry, which had always been more of a competitive friendship than anything else, Roger and Rafa would have gotten together before the first Grand Slam of the year for a couple of beers, just the two of them.

 

They’d talk about tennis, their holidays and whatever else had been on their mind, just two friends relaxing before a tournament. It had been Rafa’s idea to invite some of their peers, and from one year to another their get-together had turned into a full-fledged party.

 

Admittedly, Roger had been somewhat surprised when he’d seen Novak and Andy Murray as well the first time they’d gone big with this. He’d expected the Armada, at least a part of them, but Rafa had insisted on ‘getting some guys for him as well’, as he had expressed it so nicely ambiguously. Not that he’d ever planned on spending much of his time with either the Serb or the Brit on these occasions, but Roger hadn’t pointed that out to Rafa.

 

This time, though, he was intending to change that.

 

“What do you want to drink?”

 

Roger glanced at the man beside him, quirking an eyebrow: “I turned only thirty a couple of months ago, Rafa, not seventy. No need to pamper me just yet. Two or three years from now, though…”

 

The Spaniard laughed out loud and Roger was delighted to see that it made several of the guys who were already there turn and look their way, including Novak. He didn’t have time to check his lover out – he was really curious what the man was wearing, after all Roger himself had spent quite a lot time with picking out just the right outfit -, because Maria was hasting towards him.

 

“Roger”, she greeted him enthusiastically, just like he’d expected. Roger found himself in a second embrace, though he enjoyed this one just as much as the first. Rafa, Maria, Andy Roddick and a few others on the tour were close friends of his, which was exactly why he always made a point to appear at these occasions. He really didn’t want to miss it.

 

“Maria, it’s so great to see you.”

 

They smiled at each other once the woman had let go of him, though Maria’s smile turned into a smirk as she looked him up and down. “The same here. You look hot, Roger. Really hot.”

 

“And I’m very comfortable returning the compliment”, Roger replied, very aware that almost everyone in the room was watching them with grins on their faces. The two of them were known for their harmless but amusing flirting. “I’ve got something for you.” With that he reached up, looking straight into Maria’s surprised eyes as he picked a red rose out of the hair behind her left ear.

 

“How did you do that?” she asked with a stunned tone to her voice as he handed it to her, taking a hesitant smell at the flower with its short pedicel. Well, the flower thing was new, so that probably explained why everyone including Rafa beside them were staring at them.

 

The Swiss simply shrugged with a smirk on his lips. “A magician never reveals his secrets. My lips are sealed.”

 

“Oh, c’mon”, the Russian whined. “That was awesome.”

 

“Glad you liked it”, Roger said and wasn’t surprised when Maria smacked him not-so-gently on the arm. “Hey, you could be a bit more thankful. I don’t give roses to everyone.”

 

Maria laughed out loud at the hurt expression on his face. “I’m sure I’m not the first lady you’re sweet-talking like that, am I?”

 

“You’d be surprised what else I can do that trick with.”

 

Everyone within earshot was laughing at his vague reply, the implications clear to anyone. If Roger thought about it, he hadn’t used that as a flirting technique all that often, but admittedly, when he actually had, it hadn’t failed him in the slightest. What surprised him, though, was the fact that not only women seemed to be fascinated by magic. As he followed Maria to where she was sitting with Ana Ivanovic, Caroline Wozniacki and a couple other players, Roger noticed from the corner of his eyes that Novak was glancing at him, though he obviously tried to hide it.

 

He said hello to the girls and shook the hands of some of his peers, talking and laughing with them for a while before moving on to the next group. It was fun, but all that Roger could think about was the fact that he’d been at the party for almost an hour and had yet to really look at his lover.

 

At the same time he could feel Novak’s eyes on him all along. Admittedly, the tight white jeans and the black long-sleeved, almost see-through shirt with its wide collar had been one of the more provocative choices, though by far not the tip of the ice berg. Roger smirked at the thought of what Novak would have done if he’d opted for his leather pants, because he was sure the Serb wouldn’t have been able to restrict himself.

 

When he could honestly say that there was no one else to greet, Roger grabbed his glass of coke and walked over to where Andy Murray and Novak were now standing with Maria, Serena and Rafa. It seemed to be a hint of fate that his lover’s back was to him, so he didn’t see him coming closer.

 

“… about vampires, Rafa. _Vampires_ , how childish is that”, Serena was just saying, looking at the Spaniard rather disbelievingly.

 

“But I like it.”

 

“It’s a teenie schmaltz movie”, Andy Murray now jumped in to help her out, because it didn’t seem like Serena’s words did anything to diminish Rafa’s enthusiasm. “I mean, the guys _glitter_. Doesn’t get much crappier than that.”

 

“I agree, they should have taken the money and make two or three decent porn with it”, Roger said casually as he walked up to the group. He ended up standing right beside Novak, who had visibly flinched at his voice coming from right behind him.

 

Roger was careful not to touch him, but it didn’t seem like anyone would have noticed, anyway. Rafa was just staring at him, while the girls and Andy were bursting out laughing. And Novak, well, the man didn’t seem to know what to do, though it wasn’t totally clear whether it was for his words or their sudden closeness.

 

“What do you know about decent porn, Roger, tell us.” Andy had somewhat controlled himself again, smirking at the Swiss who shrugged.

 

“I know it’s a market gap, for instance”, he shot back, causing another round of giggles from the girls. “Besides, I was young once, too. Though my teenage years would have been a lot easier with YouPorn and sans these, admittedly interesting Quelle catalogues, you know, with the…”

 

“ROGER!” Rafa squealed, making Roger smile at him sugar-sweetly.

 

“I wasn’t aware this has become a g-rated party. Then again…” He let the rest of his sentence stay unresolved as he winked at Maria.

 

“Hey, I’m not that young”, she immediately complained. “Novak and Andy are my age as well.”

 

“Yeah, but you’re still the youngest, sorry to tell you that, little fledgling.”

 

They glared at each other for a couple of seconds, until Maria said into the laughter of their friends: “You’re lucky you gave me that rose earlier, otherwise I’d be really mad at you right now.” Roger just smiled mysteriously. He drank a sip of his coke and listened as the others went on discussing the _Twilight_ films, though he had to admit he wasn’t really hearing anything.

 

Novak had inched closer, just a little bit, but right now Roger could feel the warmth of his arm alongside his, which wasn’t so surprising considering the thin fabric of his shirt. He glanced at the man beside him, who appeared to be a little too interested in what Serena was just saying, but before Roger could say something, he noticed that Rafa was looking at him oddly.

 

_What_ , he mouthed silently, and frowned when the Spaniard nodded to his left, which happened to be Roger’s right, which was where… Novak was standing. _Why_ , he continued their silent conversation, and now Rafa glared at him. _Talk to him, for heaven’s sakes_ , the gaze was saying and, well, who was Roger to ignore his friend’s wish. He just had to keep himself from grinning like an idiot.

 

“How were your holidays, Novak?”

 

His sudden question stunned the man, he could tell. Hazel-green eyes met his shortly, and Roger really wanted to kiss him in that moment. Novak was looking damn handsome in his old blue jeans and short-sleeved white button-down shirt. It was simple yet sexy, and he had to consciously stop himself from placing a possessive hand on his ass.

 

“Good”, the Serb eventually replied, glancing at Roger again like he wanted to know whether he was really sure this was a good idea. “They were good, quiet and relaxing. What about you?”

 

“Well, I was pretty busy, but I still had a great time.” Roger took in the profile of Novak’s face as he waited for the man to look at him again. With a somewhat quieter voice he said: “Rafa thinks I should talk to you more, you know.”

 

A frown scurried over the Serb’s face. “He said that?”

 

“He just glared at me for standing beside you and not talking to you.”

 

Novak looked around, finally saying: “Well, he seems pretty happy now.”

 

“And it’d be a shame to make him unhappy again, don’t you think?”

 

Roger couldn’t suppress his smile at the amused glance the young man was throwing at him, though he seemed to agree with him. For a while they just talked, nice and easy, exactly like he’d suggested when they’d phoned Friday evening. They were both conscious about what to say and what to do, but it didn’t seem like anyone was really paying attention.

 

Well, aside Rafa, who immediately hunted Roger down when the Swiss decided to take a look at the music collection, wanting to make the party a bit more party-like.

 

“Novak can be nice, no?” Rafa stood beside him and beamed broadly. Though that wasn’t unusual, something told Roger there was more here. He frowned suspiciously.

 

“Rafa, what’s this about?” His voice was firm and just a tad louder than before, as Roger knew more than enough about how to make the Spaniard talk. It wasn’t like it took much to make Rafa talk. Ever.

 

“Me is finding it silly that you two don’t like each other”, Rafa started. “Novak is nice. I mean, I know he is being an idiot sometimes…”

  
“Sometimes, yeah”, Roger mumbled with a smirk as he prepared a new playlist, feeling that one more song by _Hurts_ would either make everyone fall asleep or jump off the balcony. Not that he didn’t totally love the British band’s music, it just didn’t really fit a party.

 

“… but he isn’t always like that, and I think you need to talk to him more.” Rafa looked at him sternly, his posture making him appear a bit like a father explaining to his stubborn seven-year-old why some vegetables would most definitely not kill him.

 

Roger sighed. “Okay, fine. I promise I’ll talk to him more, okay?” He pressed play and smiled at the first notes of his favorite song of the moment. “And now, can we go back to enjoying the party?”

 

“Roger”, Maria called over, a broad grin on her face. “Thank God, you’re my hero. [I love that song](http://www.rap-up.com/2012/02/10/new-music-cassie-king-of-hearts/).”

 

“Me too”, the Swiss grinned and turned up the volume, just in time for the first verse.

 

_You are the prince of charm,_

_Seduction is your art_

_You’ll never play my love_

_You’re just my king of hearts_

_You are my king of hearts_

 

“Who is that?” Serena asked. “I think I know her.”

 

“Cassie”, Maria replied, a smirk on her lips. “Which reminds me, wasn’t there a report that you had something going on with her, Roger?”

 

Now the Swiss really had to laugh. “Seriously? Man, you can’t even go to a club with someone anymore without doing them or what? She’s been with Diddy, like, forever. They’re practically married, just without being married.”

 

“And the real shame is that Diddy’s off the market, isn’t it?” Serena grinned broadly, especially when Roger just smirked, not bothering with a reply. He didn’t dare look at Novak in that moment, it’d probably not end well, mostly because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep himself from kissing him.

 

It was just harmless talk, but the quiet of the man told him that he wasn’t taking all of this so easily. Then again, what was Roger supposed to do. They’d agreed on letting everyone believe they were single – if they both announced that they were seeing someone at the same time, even with their reputation, it’d be a bit too much of a coincidence -, and with their peers that just came with teasing and flirting.

 

“Let’s change the topic. Tell us, are you working on a new album, Roger?”

 

Maria’s question almost made him flinch, but the Swiss knew how to cover it up. He didn’t like thinking about that, not at all. Admittedly, he was on tour and definitely busy with other things, but he hadn’t been able to put together even one decent song since _Halo_ and that was scaring the crap out of him.

 

It had something to do with Novak, that was for sure, but Roger didn’t really want to think about it. If he did, he’d probably realize that it was the price he had to pay for his effort of keeping himself at a certain distance from the Serb. If he dared to be honest with himself for once, Roger would realize that suppressing his feelings did not help his creativity.

 

Not that he was going to be honest with himself anytime soon.

 

“For heaven’s sakes”, Serena interfered, “he hasn’t even collected his grammys for his last one. Give the guy a break.”

 

“Thank you so much, Serena.” Roger stuck out his tongue at Maria, though he didn’t really feel as cocky as he acted. This could easily become a big problem for him, but luckily no one seemed to catch up on it. “More silly questions?”

 

“If you could do a duet with anyone, who would you pick?”

 

While the guys around him cracked up, Roger slowly turned his head to look at Rafa, wondering how old children had to be to understand sarcasm.

 

“Rafa, don’t make me get my own sarcasm sign”, he couldn’t stop himself from remarking and caused another round of giggles at his _The Big Bang Theory_ reference. “And I don’t think I should answer that, the list would be way too long for one night.”

 

“Then pick five”, Maria suggested, causing the Swiss to glare at her. “C’mon, that can’t be so hard.”

 

“What if it is?”

 

“You suck it up and move on.” What was it with these words that everyone couldn’t suppress a chuckle whenever someone said them around him, it couldn’t possibly just be about the fact that he was bi. It just couldn’t. It shouldn’t.

 

“Fine. Emeli Sandé”, he said, ignoring the snorts around him at moving on without any comment. “Ed Sheeran. Frank Ocean. Bruno Mars. Eminem.” The girls and Rafa had gone into an imaginary heaven after he’d said Eminem, anyway, and he quickly added: “Ladies”, and Rafa totally deserved it that he was being included in that, “stop the filthy thoughts, nothing’s about to happen. Breathe, okay?”

 

“God, just the thought of you doing it with these singers…” Maria was obviously daydreaming and noticed a little late just what exactly she’d just said there, and Roger couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

 

“A sixsome, a nice thought. It would actually be classified as an orgy, and admittedly, I haven’t thought about that until now”, he contemplated thoughtfully, causing her to blush a deep red. “You know, I’m usually all for foursomes. If one doesn’t show up, it’s still a threesome. If two don’t show up, you still have sex, and you’ll be surprised, even if three don’t show up…”

 

“Good God, get laid, for heaven’s sakes”, Serena laughed and smacked him on the arm. “You’re horrible.”

 

“Sorry, but this was an invitation I couldn’t pass on”, Roger grinned at Maria, causing her to glare at him.

 

“Serena’s right, get laid”, she grumbled, though mostly to distract from the color of her cheeks.

 

It was only then that Roger realized that Andy and Novak were untypically quiet, but a short look at them told him they were just really speechless at their antics, probably mostly at his. He was pretty sure, though, that the Serb was only silent for the fact that he didn’t want to say something that would give them away, while Andy seemed outright stunned at his remarks.

 

Was it really that weird to hear Roger Federer talk about foursomes?

 

~~~****~~~

 

Roger was whistling quietly as he inserted the key card and opened the door to his hotel room before kicking it shut again with his foot. He looked around and just wanted to call out when he heard a familiar voice from his bedroom.

 

“That was a nice trick with the rose.” Novak was leaning against the door frame, freshly showered and the towel around his waist was the only barrier stopping Roger from seeing him in all his glory. The Swiss smirked.

 

“You think?” he asked and threw the key card on the table beside the door, his cell and wallet following. A moment later he was walking towards Novak, only stopping when he was so close that he could smell the man’s shower gel and feel the heat of his skin. Roger moved in for a gentle kiss before leaning back again and reaching up. His finger tips stroked along Novak’s cheek softly, and a second later he’d conjured up another red rose from behind his ear. “Here, for you.”

 

Hazel green eyes were wide in surprise and Roger actually felt like giggling, that’s how happy he was in that moment. He’d known there would be some awkwardness between them after the evening, Roger’s flirting with Maria and the things he’d said. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them, really not, but it had still left Novak feeling insecure and Roger was just damn glad that he’d been able to wipe that away within their first minute of being alone again.

 

Besides, that beautiful happy smile on his lover’s face always made his heart melt. Always.

 

Roger walked past Novak and into his bedroom. He wanted to get out of his clothes and take a shower before bed as well, but gentle fingers around his wrists stopped his movements. There was a hard body against his backside, warm breath ghosting over his neck and the Swiss couldn’t hold back a low moan.

 

He’d waited for this the whole evening, and Roger had goose bumps on his whole body when Novak lightly kissed the back of his neck, lips lingering on his skin. “Maria was right, you know”, the Serb mumbled quietly. “You look damn hot.”

 

When Roger turned his head he wasn’t surprised to find soft lips right there to meet his in a burningly hot kiss. He wasn’t even surprised that Novak kept his hold around his wrists when Roger turned around without breaking their contact. What did surprise him was how much being restrained like this was turning him on.

 

He really wanted to lift his hand and place against the back of Novak’s head, or stroke over his naked back. He just wanted to _touch_ him, and the fact that he couldn’t do any of that should really not be this much of a turn-on. It was just, there was something incredibly appealing about having his hands pinned behind him.

 

“You’re so sexy”, the man whispered against his mouth before kissing down his chin and along his jaw. “So sexy. I wanted to kiss you since the moment you arrived at the party.”

 

“Ungh, Nole…” Roger struggled a bit again and the grip around his wrists tightened a fraction, causing his cock to twitch. _God._ “I wanted to kiss you, too.”

 

“But I knew I couldn’t.” Novak moved down his neck and to his weak spot right underneath his collar bone, which was all too easy to reach with the wide collar of his shirt. Roger shivered. “And the only thing that got me through the night was the thought that, tonight, I’d get to take this damn slinky shirt off you.”

 

“You’re calling my shirt slinky?” He was breathless and he knew it, but all Roger wanted was for Novak to _do_ something, whatever that was, just _something_ , and fast.

 

“It’s tight and almost see-through”, the Serb noted dryly, just to gently suck on his ear lobe a moment later. “There’s a picture of this shirt in the dictionary, right beside ‘slinky’.”

 

That made Roger laugh. He was still laughing when he recaptured Novak’s lips with his in a long, deep kiss. He was feeling a little too light-headed and too happy for the fact that he was still fully dressed, but it was damn close to the best kiss of his life, after not having felt this for so many hours.

 

There were a few moments when Novak wanted to retreat, but Roger didn’t let go of him. He didn’t need his hands to keep the man where he wanted him, and after a while the grip around his wrists loosened. He didn’t pull free, though.

 

He was undeniably turned on from this, even if the thought of being controlled by Novak – totally, absolutely controlled and dominated – was almost as scary as admitting that his song-writing ability had left him. Still, his body was delighted by the mere idea and Roger couldn’t find it in himself to really fight it.

 

With a groan Novak moved closer to him. He let go of one of his wrists and grabbed Roger’s ass, rubbing their groins together and for a moment all the older man wanted was to lose himself in the sensations.

 

He moaned again, a desire washing over him that he still couldn’t believe. There was this need inside him, to touch Novak, to feel him in every way possible, but what really hit him at times was how much he just wanted to _give_ , whenever they were together like this.

 

Roger would have no problem with pushing the Serb back and take him against the wall, hard and fast, but at the same time he knew that it could never give him the same satisfaction as taking his time. He wanted to make this as best for Novak as possible, to take him higher and higher before picking him back up after falling apart.

 

This wasn’t just sex. All the emotions Roger was constantly making a habit of ignoring, not daring to really analyze them, were making it impossible for him to simply take his own pleasure from this. He wanted to make Novak happy, to give him everything he wanted and needed, and then so much more.

 

His shirt found its way on the ground, while Novak was pushing him towards the bed, a predatory look in his eyes that had Roger absolutely mesmerized. God, he didn’t want to think like this, but Novak was beyond gorgeous in that moment, hazel green dark from desire and arousal. 

 

Roger moaned again when the Serb landed on top of him. He was finally able to stroke across his back and he took full advantage of it as their lips met in another kiss. Fingers were busy opening his pants, a groan slipping from Novak’s lips at what he found.

 

“You cannot be serious”, he mumbled and stared down at Roger with almost black eyes. The sight alone was almost enough to make him come. “All the time?”

 

“I thought you’d like it.”

 

“Damn, I do”, Novak growled and moved in to kiss him again. There was pure passion behind it, even more than Roger had hoped for when he’d decided to go commando. It wasn’t like there’d been much space in the jeans left, anyway. “God, I want you naked. Now.”

 

“Whatever you want”, Roger whispered back and a minute later they were beneath the sheets. Novak was on the bottom now, having rolled them around the moment both of them had been naked and there was no doubt about how he wanted to do this.

 

His hands were framing the Swiss’ face as he just looked up at him, eyes wide with an intoxicating mix of arousal and all these other emotions that Roger knew he was feeling as well, but didn’t dare to acknowledge. Not deliberately at least.

 

They kissed, they touched, and they made love like there was no tomorrow. Roger loved every moment of it so much that he found himself wishing that this night would never end. He was all too aware that, if he indeed wanted to keep that fraction of distance between them, this night would have the exact opposite effect on his heart.

 

It was just, he couldn’t help himself. Novak had this power over him, making it impossible for Roger to resist him. He knew that he’d never get enough of staring into these beautiful eyes, or feeling skin as soft as silk underneath his finger tips. The sounds, the smell, the taste, all of it had him totally captivated.

 

And Roger involuntarily embraced it, thankful for the time that he didn’t have to think about the feelings he didn’t want to admit. For a few hours it was just Novak and him, no fears, no dark thoughts, only them loving each other with no reservations.

 

He tried to tell himself that this was okay, that sex was just sex and that it wouldn’t hurt to give in to his needs, to Novak’s needs. At the same time, though, Roger knew that he should know better, because he wasn’t dumb enough to not realize when he was lying to himself.

 

And still, when they finally cuddled up to go to sleep, the Swiss couldn’t help but whisper the three words of magic, his heart flipping when Novak said them back without any hesitation. It felt so good when it shouldn’t, and for the millionth time Roger promised himself to try and protect his heart better the next time.

 

Only he knew for certain that Novak would crush that plan exactly like he’d had a million times before already.

 


	20. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's centered around Lynette Federer and Dijana Djokovic, and what they're thinking about how things are going.

 

**February 18, 2012. Rotterdam, Netherlands**

 

With a sigh Lynette Federer closed the door of her hotel room, stifling a yawn as she took off her jacket. The last weeks had been hard on her, and the Swiss woman appreciated the quiet of the moment. She spontaneously decided to take a bath before bed, since she needed something to relax her strained muscles anyway.

 

Once she was in the tub, Lynette picked up her cell and dialed a number she’d known by heart for so long. It was Diana who picked up, but after a few minutes of catching up, the older woman asked her to give the phone to her father. There was something on her mind that she needed to talk about, and Diana was way too impulsive to tell her about something that, so far, was only a suspicion.

 

“Hey honey.” It was how Robert always greeted her when they were on the phone, and Lynette had yet to grow tired of it even after so many years.

 

“Hey”, she gave back softly. “How are things at home? Have you done the laundry?”

 

“Everything is fine, Lynette”, Robert laughed. “Stop worrying. You’re thousands of miles away, you shouldn’t even think about laundry, much less worry about it.”

 

“I can’t help myself, worrying has become too much of a habit.” With another sigh the woman leaned back against the tub, not missing her husband’s short silence.

 

“Is everything okay with Roger, Lynette?”

 

“He’s fine, or at least he insists he is”, she answered truthfully, not wanting to worry Robert where it wasn’t necessary. “Everything’s good, he’s fit, the concert’s aren’t becoming too much and he’s content with how he’s playing at the tournament. It’s all good.”

 

“And yet you’re worried about him.”

 

“I am, Robert, I am.” Lynette sighed.

 

“Has it something to do with Djokovic? I swear, if that damn kid has done something to hurt him, I will…”

 

“This has indeed something to do with Novak, I believe, but not the way you think.” Lynette smiled at the worry she could hear in Robert’s voice. It was true, Roger was a grown man, but it was great to know that she wasn’t the only one who was still on the look-out for him, wanting to protect him as best as she could.

 

“Then what’s going on, why don’t you start with telling me that?”

 

And Lynette did. She told her husband everything, from the moment Roger had lost to Rafa at the Australian Open to when she’d left him in his room ten minutes ago.

  
It all started with her son’s spontaneous decision to not come back to Melbourne after his last concert in Australia, which had been the same day as his semi-final loss. Of course it was only logical, he wouldn’t be playing the final anyway, but he’d had three days until his next concert in Asia.

 

Things would have worked out just as well if Roger had spent the rest of the Australian Open in Melbourne, with his lover who, in contrast to him, had made the final. He could have had two more nights with Novak, could have been there when the Serb had come back from winning his 5th Grand Slam title, but he deliberately hadn’t.

 

The next few weeks hadn’t exactly been hectic, mostly because everything was perfectly organized, but it had still been exhausting. Apparently not exhausting enough, though, because Roger had added studio work and long nights of business meetings to his schedule that hadn’t been necessary at all.

 

It was like he was trying to be as busy as possible, when really there was no need for any of that. Of course Lynette knew that her son was a workaholic through and through, very aware that most of his success had come with his hard work, but this was just a tad too much.

 

And then there was the fact that her son wasn’t even trying to meet Novak, at all. As far as she knew the Serb was at home doing fitness and tennis training, but for her that wasn’t a reason. Roger had told her that Marian, Novak’s coach, didn’t know about them yet and that he therefore couldn’t come to meet with him, but to Lynette that was a very lame excuse.

 

Whenever she thought back to when she’d been newly in love, Lynette was certain that there wouldn’t have been anything to hold her back in a moment like this. She couldn’t understand it, especially considering that Novak was basically free these weeks. Training or not, it’s not like hotels in Asia didn’t have a fitness room as well.

 

She was damn sure that it was Roger who insisted on Novak completing his schedule and not running away to meet him, the only question was why. Why hadn’t he stayed in Melbourne as long as possible? And why didn’t he try everything he could to be with the man he loved?

 

For Lynette there was no doubt that Novak wouldn’t hesitate to travel across half the planet to be with her son, if not further. She hadn’t said anything to Roger yet, but the young man was maybe the best decision he had ever made. The Serb was so in love with Roger, she’d realized that the first moment she had seen the two of them together. Well, the second, since she’d been rather busy not to see too much the first time, when Novak and her son had been… _busy_ in the kitchen.

 

It had been so beautiful for her as Roger’s mother to know that someone was so smitten with her beloved child, so obviously deep in love with him. She’d been just shy of telling them that they’d had to repeat the dinner as soon as possible, but she hadn’t dared to – not because of Novak, but because of Roger.

 

After thirty years of loving her son, Lynette knew him, and she could see that Roger was just as much over the moon as the Serb was. He’d fallen hard for Novak, but it seemed like he was struggling just as hard to not admit that to himself.

 

“I think he’s scared”, Lynette finally said. She was a bit nervous after her monologue, hoping that what she saw as the start of a big problem wasn’t just a part of her imagination. That was why she liked to talk to Robert first. The Swiss man was the exact opposite of her, calm and objective where she wasn’t. “I think he’s trying to fight his own emotions, because he doesn’t want to get hurt.”

 

“It’s not wrong if he’s careful. They’ve been together for only a couple of months, Lynette. Roger just needs time.”

 

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. I think that deep down Roger knows exactly what he’s feeling, but he’s refusing to acknowledge it. He’s trying to keep Novak away from him, which you may think is good for him, but it really isn’t. Roger’s unhappy, Robert. I haven’t seen him laugh ever since we left Melbourne.”

 

“He hasn’t seen his lover since then, it’s normal that he misses him. And he’s busy, you told me that yourself. This is his tour and not holidays, so I’m not really sure there’s something to be worried about. It feels pretty normal to me.”

 

“Yeah, but what isn’t normal is that Roger even refuses to acknowledge that he’s missing Novak. He acts like everything’s perfect when it isn’t. And really, Novak is currently at home in Serbia, and the next concerts are in Europe. They could easily meet each other, but Roger gets defensive every time I suggest that he’d call Novak about it. It’s like he’s trying to prove he can go without him, that he doesn’t need him, and I don’t think that’s good.”

 

Robert was silent for a while after her fierce words, but when he spoke up again, the Swiss woman knew that he’d gotten what was bothering her so much about this. “No, that really isn’t good. It’s not like Roger to be so reserved, I actually was sure they’d meet once he’s back in Europe.”

 

“They’re not. I just left Roger in his room, he told me Novak would travel to Dubai in a couple of days to get used to the climate and that they couldn’t see each other until the tournament starts. Which is weird, because the tournament doesn’t even start until next week, and from what I understand Novak’s training block is over.”

 

“So they could meet, but won’t.” Now it was Robert’s turn to sigh. “Yeah, something’s weird here, but there’s nothing you can do.”

 

“What do you mean, I could…”

 

“Lynette, you can’t.” Her husband’s voice was firm. “We both know that Roger’s been badly hurt, and if this is his way of dealing with his emotions, then so be it. He’s a grown man, and everything will be fine in the end.”

 

“What if it won’t?” Lynette couldn’t help the shaking in her voice. “Novak’s good for Roger, Robert, and he loves our son so much. What if Roger suppresses his emotions until it’s too late? What if he loses Novak over this?”

 

“Lynette. I honestly believe that our son is clever enough to be aware that he’s lying to himself, that is if you’re right and he’s really ignoring his real emotions. I also believe that, if his feelings for Novak are as strong you think, they’ll break through eventually, sooner or later.”

 

“I’m not so sure, Robert”, Lynette inwardly heaved a heavy sigh. “Roger’s so good at lying to himself. I hope you’re right, but I just know my son. If his feelings are as strong as I think, he might be too scared to admit them, and I really don’t want to think about what will happen to his relationship with Novak if he refuses to let him in all the way.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

**February 19, 2012. Belgrade, Serbia**

 

“Novak, do you want to come down? Marko and Djordje insist on watching the Rotterdam final, and they wondered if you’d be interested as well.”

 

Dijana Djokovic looked down at her oldest son, who was currently sitting on his bed with his laptop and doing whatever these young people did when they stared at the screen for hours. Novak had been at home for the last three weeks and though he was spending most of his days training with Marian, she was extremely happy to have him there.

 

It had been way too long since she’d had all of her sons under one roof and Dijana fully enjoyed it, especially considering that she’d originally thought that Novak would want to spend his holidays with his lover. So far he hadn’t said anything about wanting to leave sooner than he had to for the Dubai event, but with his current results Srdjan surely wouldn’t mind if he took some days off.

 

The last two months had been somewhat awkward, really. Whenever she or Srdjan had talked about Novak it had felt weird to acknowledge that he was seeing a man and not a girl. It had taken weeks before either of them had been able to say ‘boyfriend’ without uneasiness or hesitance, and Dijana knew that it was mostly due to Marko’s and Djordje’s lightness when the topic came up that had made them feel more comfortable.

 

Srdjan and she both still needed some time to get fully used to it, but Novak’s joyfulness ever since he’d come home was making it easier every day. Her son was happy, and after winning the Australian Open Srdjan seemed to have accepted his relationship as well.

 

Right now Dijana was actually a bit surprised to find Novak in his room all alone. He’d been so active these last weeks, hanging around with his brothers, watching TV with the whole family and even helping his mother in the kitchen without her having to ask him to. This day, though, something seemed to be wrong, and since Novak didn’t seem too delighted about watching the Federer vs. Del Potro match, she decided to try and talk to him.

 

“Honey, is everything alright?” she asked carefully. “You’re so quiet today.”

 

“I’m fine, Mum.”

 

The reply had come way too fast, but the strain in her son’s voice was making it even clearer to Dijana that something was bothering Novak.

 

“C’mon, Nole, something’s obviously off. You know you can talk to me about everything.” They were silent for a while, but she could see that Novak was contemplating what she’d said. He obviously wanted to talk, and she could imagine why he was hesitating. “Okay, listen. This is about your guy, I can see that, and I know you still don’t want to tell me who he is. Just tell me what I need to know, then.”

 

For a moment she thought her eldest was just going to stand up and leave as he shut his laptop and stood up to put it on his table. Instead of walking out of the room, though, he plopped down on the bed again, turning so he could look at her. “I thought we could meet before Dubai, okay? It… It’s possible. Marian’s content and I could easily get some free days before the tournament.”

 

“Then what’s the problem?”

 

“He insists I finish my training program, even though I told him it’s not necessary.” That wasn’t desperation in Novak’s voice, not really, but he was clearly confused, if not even hurt. To be honest, to Dijana it only sounded like his guy cared about him and wanted the best for him, and she knew damn well that Srdjan would approve of this, but it definitely bothered Novak. A lot.

 

“So, I take it you haven’t seen him for a while. Have you seen him in Australia?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And after that?”

 

“Not since a couple of days before the final, he had to leave before then.” Dijana could remember that she’d been a bit confused as to why Novak hadn’t minded celebrating his win with his family. She’d asked him about it and he’d only told her that his guy hadn’t been in Australia, though he’d called and congratulated him.

 

“Well, you had your training session, and I guess he’s been busy as well.”

 

“Yeah, but not anymore.” Novak shrugged helplessly. “Look, this doesn’t sound right. He’s still busy, yeah, but it’d be _possible_ to meet. You know, I mean, it wouldn’t be ideal, but Marian wouldn’t mind giving me a program on the way and agree on meeting again in Dubai. It’s possible.”

 

“And he knows that?”

 

“I told him, but he insists I stay and prepare. It’s just…”

 

“It’s just, you wonder if he wants to see you at all. Is that it?”

 

Novak was silent for a moment, lost in his thoughts, and Dijana was a bit surprised at what he said when he finally spoke up again. “I know he does want to see me. I know it. I mean, we still talk every day and I just know he can’t wait to see me again. That’s what I don’t understand, you know? He wants to see me and there’s a possibility, but he doesn’t seize it.”

 

Well, that definitely made no sense, not to her at least, and it probably showed on her face, because Novak sighed before stroking through his hair. “He’s been hurt, Mum”, he then said much quieter. “Really bad, a while ago.”

 

“And you think that’s got something to do with it?”

 

“I don’t know. I really don’t. It’s almost like he’s trying to keep that small wall between us, but when we’re together, there’s nothing between us.”

  
“Does he tell you that he loves you?”

 

“All the time. That’s what I don’t understand. He’s so wonderful when we’re together, but this right now, I don’t get it.” Novak managed a half-smirk as he added: “And you know, it’s not even like I’m sure I’m not making this up in my head. When we talk everything’s fine, and I’m still so damn happy at the moment. Maybe he just needs time, and I don’t want to pressure him. Never.”

 

Dijana really wasn’t sure what to say to that. On the one side she wanted to tell her baby to confront his guy and demand for him to get his shit together, but she could see it in Novak’s eyes that he would never do that. There was too much understanding, and whatever his lover had gone through, Novak knew about it and simply couldn’t ignore it.

 

Maybe he was right and he should just wait. Dijana just hoped her son wouldn’t break on that way.

 

“You love him, Novak, I know that”, she finally said and smiled reassuringly. “I won’t tell you what to do, because it’s not like I know all that much about any of this. I just want to tell you this. Whatever you do, don’t lose yourself, okay? If the fact that he’s been hurt is the reason, time’s the only thing that will help, you’re right with that. You know what I say, wait until you see him the next time, and decide then if you’re going to do something about this.”

 

“And if time won’t help?” And now the desperation was about to creep in her son’s voice, and Dijana pulled him into a hug before she knew it. Novak breathed in shakily, adding: “What if I lose him?”

 

“Nole, don’t be silly. You’re not going to lose him.” Dijana was confused. Her first instinct was to hate on that bastard who was hurting her baby, but it wasn’t like that mysterious boyfriend had done anything other than wanting the best for Novak and his career. She couldn’t hate him for that, and that was just wrong. “If things don’t get better you confront him, and you talk to him. You tell him what you’re feeling, and you’ll see. I thought he loves you, and he obviously wants the best for you.”

 

“I know”, Novak whispered and straightened up again. He smiled at her, though it was a bit forced. “I know. I’m just… I don’t know.”

 

“You love him, and you’re scared of losing him. I understand that, but you don’t lose people when you tell them how you feel, Novak. You never lose people over honesty, only over silence.”

 

“Or so grand-pa says, doesn’t he?” At least her son could laugh again, just to roll his eyes a moment later. “Ah, God, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to get all emotional on you, really. It’s just been bothering me for a while.”

 

“You know you could have come to me.”

 

“I know, and maybe I’ll make myself the next time something’s up. Or at least I’ll try.”

 

Dijana laughed. “Well, that’s something.” More seriously she added: “But really, Novak. You can call me anytime if you want to talk, okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Mum.”

 

“So, do you want to watch the final now? I’m sure it’s already started.”

 

Novak hesitated for a moment, but Dijana was glad that he decided to join them, since he could definitely use the distraction. And by the end of the match he was cheering along with his brothers and just enjoying himself like she’ hoped he would.

 

There were still some moments when he dreamily stared at the TV, but at least there was a smile on his face as he was lost in his musings and Dijana counted that as an improvement. She only hoped that things with this guy would brighten up soon. Novak deserved all the happiness he could get, and his boyfriend should be damned if he didn’t do everything within his power to make that happen.

 


	21. Info Tour + Grammy Awards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tour dates and set list of the I Am... Roger Federer world tour. Also on February 18, 2012 the Grammy Awards were held; a list of the awards Roger won can be found at the end of this "chapter". The next real chapter is also up.

**Tour dates**

 

North America

 

November 16, 2011: Las Vegas, Nevada 

 

Europe

  


November 28 & 29, 2011: London, England

November 30, 2011: Manchetser, England

December 2, 2011: Dublin, Ireland

December 3, 2011: Belfast, Northern Ireland

December 5, 2011: Lisbon, Portugal

December 6, 2011: Madrid, Spain

December 7, 2011: Barcelona, Spain

December 9, 2011: Prague, Czech Republic

December 10, 2011: Budapest, Hungary 

December 12, 2011: Paris, France

December 13, 2011: Strasburg, France

December 14, 2011: Warsaw, Poland

December 16, 2011: Berlin, Germany

December 17, 2011: Vienna, Austria

December 18, 2011: Zurich, Switzerland

December 19, 2011: Antwerp, Belgium

December 21, 2011: Stockholm, Sweden

December 22, 2011: Oslo, Norway

December 27, 2011: Donetsk, Ukraine

December 28, 2011: Moscow, Russia 

 

Asia

 

December 29, 2011: Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates

 

Africa 

 

January 1, 2012: Johannesburg, South Africa 

January 2, 2012: Marsa Alan, Egypt

 

Asia

 

January 4, 2012: Doha, Qatar

January 6, 2012: Riyadh, Saudi ARabia

January 9, 2012: Beijing, China 

January 10, 2012: Shanghai, China

January 12, 2012: Singapore, Singapore

January 13, 2012: Jakarta, Indonesia 

 

Australia 

 

January 17 & 18, 2012: Melbourne, Australia

January 20, 2012: Brisbaine, Australia

January 22, 2012: Adelaide, Australia

January 24 & 25, 2012: Sydney, Australia

January 27, 2012: Perth, Australia 

 

Asia

 

January 30, 2012: Osaka, Japan

February 1, 2012: Chiba, Japan

February 2, 2012: Nagoya, Japan

February 6, 2012: Osaka, Japan

February 7, 2012: Hong Kong, Japan 

 

Europe

 

February 11, 2012: Basel, Switzerland

February 13, 2012: Rotterdam, Netherlands

February 17, 2012: Amsterdam, Netherlands 

February 20, 2012: Helsinki, Finland 

February 21, 2012: Copenhagen, Denmark

February 24, 2012: Zagreb, Croatia 

February 25, 2012: Rome, Italy

 

North America 

 

March 4 & 5, 2012: New York City, New York

March 6, 2012: Baltimore, Maryland

March 7, 2012: Washington, Columbia

March 9, 2012: Las Vegas, Nevada

March 10, 2012: Paradise, Nevada

March 12, 2012: San Francisco, California 

March 14, 2012: Los Angeles, California

March 16, 2012: Bakersfield, California

March 19, 2012: Phoenix, Arizona

March 20, 2012: Houston, Texas

March 21, 2012: Dallas, Texas

March 22, 2012: New Orleans, Louisiana

March 24, 2012: Atlanta, Georgia

March 25, 2012: Jacksonville, Florida

March 26, 2012: Orlando, Floride

March 28 & 30, 2012: Miami, Florida

April 4, 2012: Birmingham, Alabama

April 5, 2012: Memphis, Tennessee

April 7, 2012: Columbia, Missouri

April 9, 2012: Charleston, West Virginia

April 11, 2012: Norfolk, Virginia

April 12, 2012: Pittsbourgh, Pennsylvania

April 13, 2012: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

April 15, 2012: Indianapolis, Indiana

April 16, 2012: Chicago, Illinois

April 18, 2012: Minneapolis, Minnesota

April 20, 2012: Vancouver, Canada

April 21, 2012: Toronto, Canada

April 23, 2012: Montreal, Canada

April 24, 2012: Edmonton, Canada

 

South America

April 26, 2012: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

April 27, 2012: Florianópolis, Brazil

April 28, 2012: Sao Paulo, Brazil

April 30, 2012: Buenos Aires, Argenina

May 1, 2012: Santiago, Chile

May 2, 2012: Lima, Peru 

 

North America 

 

May 4, 2012: Mexico City, Mexico

May 5, 2012: San José, Costa Rica

May 6, 2012: George Town, Cayman Islands

 

 

**Total**

 

Europe:        28 concerts

Asia:            13 concerts

Australia:      7 concerts

Africa:          2 concerts

North America:        35 concerts

South America:        6 concerts

 

Total: 91 concerts, 85 cities, 6 continents

 

**Roger Federer: I AM… WORLD TOUR**

**Set list**

 

_I Am... (Instrumental introduction)_

1\. Déjà Vu (tour skit)

2\. Crazy In Love (feat. Jay-Z)

3\. Naughty Boy

4\. Freakum Dress (Beyoncé cover)

5\. Get Me Bodied (extended mix)

6\. Smash Into You

7\. Flaws and All

8\. Broken-Hearted Man

_If You Were A Boy (outtakes) [video interlude]_

9\. If You Were A Boy / You Oughta Know (Alanis Morissette cover) 

_Robot (video interlude)_

10\. Sweet Dreams

11\. Radio 

_Roger's radio_

12\. Ego (feat. Kanye West) 

13\. Hello

Instrumental interlude

Baby Boy interlude (by Beyoncé) 

14\. You Don't Love Me (No, No, No) [Dawn Penn cover]

15\. Irreplaceable 

 

16\. Check On It

_Video interlude_

17\. Upgrade U

18\. Video Phone

_Survivor (video interlude)_

19\. At Last (Etta James cover)

20\. Still In Love (Kissing You)

_Single Guys (video interlude)_

21\. Single Guys (Put A Ring On It)

22\. HaloAB

23\. Outro 

 

 

A: At the end of his first concert on November 28, 2011, Federer did a tribute to Michael Jackson during _Halo_.

B: On April 9, 2012, Federer performed a cover of Avril Lavigne’s _Naked_ before _Halo_.

 

On several occasions, Federer performed _Save The Hero_ instead of _Flaws and All_ , and _Satellites_ instead of _Still In Love (Kissing You)_. 

 

 

**Grammy Awards 2011**

Roger Federer:      Album of the Year (Me, Myself and I)

                            Record of the Year (Crazy In Love)

                            Best Contemporary R&B Album (Me, Myself and I)

                            Best Rap/Sung Collaboration (Crazy In Love feat. Beyoncé & Jay.-Z)

                            Best R&B Song (Single Guys)

                            Song of the Year (If You Were A Boy)

                            Best New Artist (Roger Federer)

 

**Grammy Awards 2012**

Roger Federer:      Album of the Year (Survivor)

                            Best R&B Song (Ego)

                            Song of the Year (Survivor)

                            Best R&B Album (Survivor)

                            Best Rap/Sung Collaboration (Upgrade U feat. Jay-Z)

  


	22. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Novak and Roger meet in Dubai after four weeks of not seeing each other.

**February 26, 2012. Dubai, United Arab Emirates**

 

Novak was slowly walking down the hall of the top floor of his hotel, very aware of just how nervous he was. His palms were sweaty, his heart beating way too fast in his chest, and the muscles in his back were as tight as they could be. He looked up and down the corridor for the hundredth time, his nervousness starting to make him paranoid.

 

He was most definitely alone, though, and the young Serb forced himself to breathe in deeply, gently rolling his shoulders to get the strain out of them. It had probably been lucky fate that he’d met Lynette Federer in the lobby when Marian and he had checked in half an hour ago. With the kind woman it hadn’t seemed suspicious that Novak had talked to her, and it’d been a golden opportunity to find out his lover’s room number.

 

It felt a bit strange to come to Roger’s door without the man expecting him, but that was exactly what Novak was counting on. He wanted to surprise him, wanted to look into his eyes when they saw each other again after four weeks of separation. Four goddamn weeks that could have easily be shortened to three, at least from Novak’s side.

 

But no, Roger had insisted that he’d finish his training program, no matter that he’d told him it wasn’t necessary, and right now the Serb didn’t know what to think anymore. Hadn’t Roger missed him? At all?

 

Something told Novak that he _had_ missed him, but that was only making it all more confusing. They’d phoned every day and he’d heard it in Roger’s voice that he was longing to see him as well, but why hadn’t he grasped the chance of an early meeting then? It didn’t make sense, and that was exactly why he hadn’t told Roger that he was coming over.

 

He wanted an honest reaction to his appearance, nothing else. No preparation, no chance of hiding behind any walls, nothing, only Roger’s true feelings.

 

When he finally reached the room he’d been looking for, Novak’s heart seemed to want to break through his ribs as he knocked softly. There could have been so much joy inside him at the outlook of seeing Roger again, but his fear of not being welcome was drowning everything else. It was a mix of emotions he couldn’t put his head around, but when the door was finally opened, every thought was wiped away.

 

Roger stopped in his every movement the moment their eyes met, the door only halfway opened. It didn’t matter, though, because all that Novak could see was the explosive turmoil of emotions in brown depths. The man was obviously stunned to see him, but what really got to the Serb was the struggle that Roger was so obviously fighting.

 

He _had_ missed Novak, there was no doubt about that. The younger man could see it all. It didn’t matter that Roger was trying his best to hide it, his walls had been down from his surprise and even if they were coming up again, it was too late.

 

Big brown eyes stared at him as he came closer, taking the door out of Roger’s hands to push it closed. A second later Novak had him pinned against a wall, lips pressed onto his in a stormy and somewhat sloppy kiss.

 

His eyes were open and he watched as Roger’s closed in ecstasy, a needy whimper leaving his lips like Novak had not heard it before. He brought their bodies together roughly, unable to not take this further before the man even had the chance to regain his self-control.

 

The Serb eventually shut his eyes and let himself fall into the sensations that were crumbling down on him. It felt so good to be with Roger again – so good -, and it was only that much more perfect as warm hands started to stroke over his back. A deep groan echoed in his ears and Novak noticed the leg slinking around one of his thighs, pulling him yet closer.

 

Within a minute they were all over each other, groping and rubbing and thrusting like there was no tomorrow. It was even more than Novak had hoped for when he’d come over. Roger’s desire for him couldn’t be any more obvious, and God did it feel good. He _wanted_ him, Novak wasn’t blind enough to not see that, and that was all he’d wanted when he had decided to come over.

 

There was still something going on, but as Roger turned them around, pushing him against the wall with his full body, Novak didn’t think about it anymore. It wasn’t important that Roger seemed to have tried to push him away, not when he was kissing Novak like this, pressing against him like this, wanting him like this. Needing him. He still didn’t know why things had gone the way they had these last few weeks, but in the end it didn’t matter.

 

A loud groan on his lips, Novak hid his face in the crook of Roger’s neck and grasped that perfect gorgeous ass, giving it a demanding squeeze. “God, Roger. More”, he grunted and got exactly what he’d asked for, harder, faster, closer. This was so good, mindless and intense and just what he needed after the painfully long separation.

 

“Novak.” That sexy dark voice sent shivers down his spine and Novak complied when Roger lifted one of his legs to lie around his hip. “Good God, Novak…”

 

For a moment Novak feared that he’d pass out when they both came at almost exactly the same time. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything other than cling onto his lover’s body as his orgasm ripped through him, and Roger wasn’t any better. Their bodies shivered intently, but instead of feeling better or relieved, the young man couldn’t help but tighten his grip around Roger.

 

The need inside him wasn’t any less overwhelming and Novak moaned quietly, suddenly wishing that they’d moved this to the bed. He wanted nothing more than to feel Roger’s beautiful naked body against his, his warm skin with these hard muscles underneath.

 

And it didn’t seem like he was the only one feeling like that.

 

“I want you naked so much”, Roger mumbled against the side of his neck, breath coming in short gasps. His words stunned Novak, the tone of desperation in his voice sending shivers down his spine. “I want to be inside you so damn much.”

 

“And what on earth is stopping you?” He said that while simultaneously pushing Roger back, following him closely. Novak led him to the bedroom, and their gazes stayed locked all the time as they eagerly undressed each other.

 

He savored every moment of their night, every single second of it. Even when they lay in a tight embrace later, Novak couldn’t stop touching Roger. It felt so good to be with him again, to feel the warmth of his body close to him. There were no words between them, only the ever tightening hold around each other, the continuous exchange of loving gestures and kisses.

 

That night Roger never said out loud that he’d missed Novak, but he didn’t have to. His actions spoke louder than words ever could have, and the Serb felt happier than he had since winning the Australian Open this year. He felt relieved and free without the ever-present weight of uncertainty, not knowing if Roger still felt the same way about him or not.

 

The last weeks had been anything but easy for him, but now all his doubts were gone. Roger loved him, and though he still didn’t know why the man had been so weird these last few weeks, Novak didn’t care. It still hovered in the back of his mind, but as Roger let his fingers wander over the bare skin of his arm, he decided to let it go. For now.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Roger’s gentle voice cut through his thoughts, but Novak couldn’t find it in himself to mind. He felt the smile tugging on his lips when he opened his eyes to look at his lover as he answered.

 

“You”, he replied truthfully and leaned in for a kiss. It really was damn comfortable to lie like this, bodies turned towards each other and sharing a pillow as their legs were entangled beneath the sheets. “I was just thinking that I haven’t had the chance yet to really congratulate you on your win in Rotterdam.”

 

“As far as I remember you texted me, and we also talked that night”, Roger noted, but there was a smirk on his face that was absolutely adorable, probably already knowing where this was going.

 

“I know that”, Novak chuckled, “but I’m talking about _really_ congratulating you, like this…”

 

He moved in again and for a while they just kissed, hands leisurely stroking over each other’s body.

 

“Hmm, I can live with congratulations like these”, Roger mumbled when the younger man lowered his head to place little kisses on his neck.

 

“That’s what I thought.” Novak smirked amusedly. “And I think maybe I’ll have to congratulate you a lot more this year. You’re on a run.”

 

That made the Swiss laugh. “I’m not the one who already has a Grand Slam”, he chuckled and Novak’s heart flipped as he dared to glance up at a smiling Roger, almost certain that he could see pride in brown eyes. The man leaned in for another kiss before adding: “It seems like I’m on a run, though. I wonder how that comes.” He grinned. “Maybe I’m playing better the busier I am?”

 

“Maybe you play better the more sex you have? Just a thought”, Novak innocently added that last bit, but couldn’t suppress his smirk as the older man lifted an eyebrow.

 

“We didn’t have sex in a month?”

 

“It’s a working theory”, Novak shot back and made Roger laugh again.

 

“So keep working.”

 

“How about we work on it together?” His smirk grew wider when that strong sexy body slowly moved to lie on top of his, pressing Novak into the mattress. “Hmm, yeah”, he moaned deliciously, wondering when Roger had learned to read his mind. “This definitely goes into the direction of what I’m talking about.”

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Hmm”, Novak chuckled. “This is your concert free week, isn’t it?”

 

“It is indeed.” There was a simply astonishing smile on Roger’s face as he looked down at him. “So you want to try out your theory for this week?”

 

“Why not? It’s going to be nice. Lots and lots of sex, and, if I’m right, you’re going to win the tournament and we can celebrate yet again…”

 

“Well, that _is_ a great idea.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Oh yes, Nole, I do”, Roger mumbled and leaned down to involve him in a deep kiss. “I wasn’t planning on letting you out of this bed all that often, anyway.”

 

“That’s great to hear.” The Serb groaned and lifted a leg to hook around the older man’s hip. “I love you, you know that?”

 

There was a little moment of silence before Roger whispered back: “Yeah, I do.”

 

“And I love your body”, Novak went on like he hadn’t noticed his hesitance. “I’m really looking forward to your New York concert next week.”

 

“Why’s that? You’ve already seen at least a dozen of my concerts, if not more.”

 

“More, but this one’s special, and I’ll even be there officially”, the younger man smiled happily. “That was a great idea of yours, inviting all the players to this concert.”

 

“I’m actually surprised your father didn’t make you deny”, Roger smirked at him, causing Novak to laugh out loud.

 

“Not that he didn’t try.” With a chuckle he reached up to kiss Roger lovingly, hoping he’d get the message that, no matter what Srdjan Djokovic was saying, Novak would introduce him at his birthday. One way or another. “I can’t believe that I’m getting to be with you all of March.”

 

“I won’t make it back to the hotel some nights because of my tour.”

 

“And yet I won’t have to miss you for more than 24 hours”, Novak smiled. “That’s a time frame I can manage.”

 

“Can you?”

 

Roger’s gorgeous brown eyes couldn’t be more heartbreakingly beautiful than they were in that moment, full of love and affection.

 

“Not if you keep looking at me like this”, the Serb whispered and moved his hands up to gently grasp the man’s face. He loved doing this, to hold Roger and just look at him, drinking in the sight of his gorgeous features while relishing in the thought that he was finally allowed to _do_ this. “I’ll savor every moment that we’ll be together”, Novak added after a while, his voice quiet. “I looked forward to the next few weeks with you ever since you left Melbourne, Rog. Believe me, I’m going to miss you even when you leave just for a match, but one night without you isn’t nearly as hard as four weeks.”

 


	23. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the next day and they just enjoy being together.

 

**February 27, 2012. Dubai, United Arab Emirates**

 

Roger woke up the next morning with a strong arm hugging him from behind, a familiar body pressed against his back. He felt so good, feeling his lover’s arms around him again, and even the sight that greeted him when he opened his eyes couldn’t do anything to dampen his happiness.

 

There were the clothes that he’d hung over the chair the day before, the ones he’d put out to wear when he’d planned on going over to Novak’s room once he’d be ready for it. Well, that had worked out well, hadn’t it.

 

God, his emotions had hit him like a punch in the face when Novak had stood right in front of him all of a sudden, taking Roger completely off guard. He’d known he had been fooling himself when he’d pretended to not miss the man, right from the moment he’d left Melbourne, but this?

 

Nothing had prepared him for the longing that had overwhelmed him once he’d been pressed against the wall, his desire for Novak making him lose every control. He hadn’t come in his pants in years and yet even that hadn’t helped at all to lessen his desire for the Serb. Roger had needed to feel Novak so bad, and he hadn’t gotten enough of making love to him.

 

And the needy moans and groans of the young Serb, always pushing back, responding to his every touch and kiss and thrust, had made him live through a night of perfection.

 

He wanted nothing more than to lock that damn door across the room and never leave this bed again. As long as Novak was there he knew he’d be happy, and that scared Roger so much he couldn’t breathe. Every moment over the last four weeks he’d tried to proof to himself that he could go without Novak – and all that for nothing.

 

When he turned slowly and carefully, since he didn’t want to wake the gorgeous young man just yet, Roger couldn’t make himself regret any of that, though. It was just so wonderful to be with him again, to be able to watch him sleep.

 

Novak was a beautiful man, or maybe that was just his love-struck brain. It didn’t matter, because Roger didn’t care. All he knew was that he loved looking at him, not as much as he loved kissing and touching him, but damn close. He loved the peacefulness of the sleeping form before him, the little smile playing around Novak’s lips even now.

 

That was something else that totally took him aback, how stunningly happy the Serb seemed to be whenever Roger dared to look close enough. Novak was constantly smiling and laughing, and at times even his eyes seemed to sparkle. It was enchanting.

 

The mornings were the most beautiful time of day, and Roger watched with a loving smile as hazel green eyes blinked open slowly. A smile formed on these perfect soft lips the moment their gazes met, and the older man just had to lean in and get a taste of it.

 

Novak moaned into his mouth and kissed back fervently, even more responsive to Roger’s touches when he was just waking up. He didn’t yet bother with holding back a single sound, and Roger nothing but loved it.

 

He loved how vocal Novak was anyway, but this was even better. This was unguarded, unpretended, and though the loudness of the meaning behind it was also frightening, it didn’t scare him enough to not enjoy it.

 

“Good morning, gorgeous”, the Swiss whispered once they ended their kiss, his words conjuring up yet another smile.

 

“Good morning yourself, handsome.” Novak glanced at him somewhat shyly. “Have you been watching me again?”

 

“I can’t help it, you’re beautiful”, Roger chuckled amusedly, especially when his lover’s cheeks turned red. “And cute, did I mention cute?” 

 

“Oh, shut up”, Novak growled, very obviously not delighted by the knowledge that Roger was aware that he was blushing. It was just making him all the more gorgeous, though, and Roger brought their bodies closer, the Serb’s warmth like a magnet that pulled on both his body and soul.

 

He placed little kisses on his nose, and Novak’s pouting ended quickly as Roger let his hand wander down to his hip, finger tips slowly stroking along the impressive length of his morning erection.

 

“God”, the younger man moaned quietly, “I hate it when you do this.”

 

Roger frowned and stopped his movements. “Seriously? You do?”

 

Novak rolled his eyes at him. “Not _that_ ”, he grumbled half-heartedly and with amusement in his eyes. “The other part, you know, making me blush and then kissing me so that I can’t stay mad at you…”

 

“You were mad at me?” Roger inquired and blinked innocently. “Seriously?”

 

“Oh, for heaven’s sakes.” Now the younger man _really_ grumbled, and God was it hot.

 

Before he knew it Roger was on his back, lips pressed onto his in a deep and passionate kiss that he returned just as eagerly. After all he’d already come to the conclusion that pushing Novak away over the last weeks had been for nothing, so he might as well enjoy this now.

 

And he did. By the time they decided to get up and take a shower it was well past noon, and they hurried to get something sent up to Roger’s room for lunch. They sat on the couch and ate mostly in silence, but it didn’t take much for the Swiss to figure out that something was on his lover’s mind. Once he was done, Roger confronted him about it.

 

“There’s something on your mind”, he said and put his plate on the table. “What’s up?”

 

Novak glanced at him with his beautiful eyes and shrugged. “Just wondering. Are you working on a new album?”

 

“No, I’m not. What makes you think that?” The older man’s voice was quiet, Novak’s unspoken question hovering between them. _Is that why you didn’t have time to see me sooner?_

 

“There was an article suggesting that, after you got your six Grammys a couple of weeks ago.” Novak shrugged again. “As I said, I was just wondering.”

 

“You were wondering why I didn’t tell you if I was indeed working on a new album, weren’t you?” Roger wasn’t blind enough to not see that he was right. “But I’m not, Nole. There aren’t even plans for a new LP thus far.”

 

“But you were in the studio, weren’t you?” 

“I was, but not for an album.” Roger hesitated for a moment, but decided he didn’t have a single reason not to go on. “At least not mine.”

 

There was surprise on Novak’s face and he asked with unhidden excitement in his voice: “You’re collaborating with other singers? Who?”

 

“I can’t tell you yet, but who would you want it to be?” With a smile Roger moved closer, taking Novak’s empty plate and placing it on the table beside his own. He placed his arm around his shoulder and pulled him close, waiting for an answer.

 

“You said something about Emeli Sandé and Bruno Mars and Eminem at Rafa’s party.”

 

“As well as Frank Ocean and Ed Sheeran, but I was asking who _you_ would like to see me work with.”

 

“Only me, and that as closely as possible?” Novak smirked and glanced down at his lips suggestively, making Roger chuckle. When he didn’t reply anything, though, the young man eventually asked: “Why are you asking me this? It’s not like it matters.”

 

“It matters to me”, Roger gave back honestly, not surprised to see Novak a bit stunned. “I’m not arrogant enough to believe that everyone likes my music. I remember you saying that _you_ like my songs, so I’m confident to ask you who you’d like to see me put something together with. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

 

He wasn’t sure why, but something about what he’d just said had actually made Novak speechless. If it was for the fact that Roger was honestly interested in his opinion or if the Serb was just thinking about his question, he didn’t know.

 

After a while, Novak finally spoke up again: “I always thought it’d be great if you’d work with Alicia Keys. I love her music.”

 

“Hmm, that’s a nice thought”, Roger smiled. “And something I’ve considered as well. Go on.”

 

“Well, all five you mentioned at Rafa’s, actually. Rihanna?” Now that made Roger sigh and pull a face, causing Novak to laugh. “I take that as a no?”

 

“Nah, well, I mean, I like her and most of her music, but I swear, if I hear her sing ‘fuck’ or ‘Nigga’ one more time…”

 

“Okay, that’s a point you have there. Let’s see… John Legend?”

 

This time Roger lifted an appreciative eyebrow. “You have taste. I mean, you obviously have, but also in other regards…”

 

Novak laughed again and leaned in for a kiss. “I do, believe it or not.”

 

“I believe it, don’t worry”, Roger smirked. “So, who else?”

 

“Don’t know, haven’t thought about it that much. After all, the songs I love most are the ones you wrote all by yourself. _Irreplaceable_ , _If You Were A Boy_ , _Save The Hero_ , _Survivor_ , _If_ …”

 

“You know the song-writing credits on my albums, seriously?” He was honestly surprised by this. It was one thing to know the songs and what they sounded like, but remembering the song-writers, even if it were only the songs Roger had written all by himself, was telling a lot.

 

Novak shrugged. “Told you I’m a fan.”

 

And Roger knew what being a fan meant. There were many things in life he enjoyed quite a lot himself, like art, history, music as well, and football. He knew a lot about the things that interested him, but it were info about brilliant painters like Picasso and beautiful paintings like the Mona Lisa, stuff like that.

 

Just the thought that someone would bother knowing this much about _him_ was a very frightening and very wonderful thought at the same time. Roger was almost certain that knowing that Novak cared enough to know these things shouldn’t feel this good.

 

“Do you even have plans for a new album?”

 

The question didn’t come as a surprise to Roger, but he inwardly sighed anyway. His creativity problem had only gotten worse over the last four weeks, and when Jay-Z had carefully inquired what he’d planned for the near future, well, let’s say his response hadn’t been what the man had hoped for.

 

“Not yet, no”, he answered with a shrug before standing up. “I’m busy enough with the tour at the moment, then the projects I’m working on with other artists. Maybe once the tour is over, but even then I’ll be pretty occupied with wrapping up that tour DVD.”

 

He held out his hand as he talked and pulled Novak up, fully intending on taking him back to bed. The young man smiled knowingly, though he didn’t say anything as Roger led the way to the bedroom.

 

“You’re going to put out another DVD?”

 

“Sure, I mean, 91 concerts in total, I definitely want something to remember that. The DVD was Bey’s idea.”

 

Novak chuckled amusedly and moved yet a little closer as they stood beside the bed, eyes wandering down to Roger’s lips as he talked. “I have a thing for successful and confident men, you know that?”

 

“ _Men_ , huh?” The older man couldn’t stop himself from saying that, he just couldn’t. It probably wasn’t the best idea to lead the conversation in this direction, but he did it anyway.

 

“Well, mostly one, but I was generalizing here.” There was a gorgeous smile on Novak’s face. “What do you have a thing for?”

 

“Smart and gorgeous”, Roger replied without hesitation. “Beautiful eyes. Dark hair.”

 

“That’s a bit general as well.”

 

“You know, I was generalizing here.” The Swiss smirked and leaned in for a slow lick across Novak’s bottom lip, all the while staring in his eyes. He watched as they fluttered shut, a low moan leaving the younger man’s throat. God, this was hot.

 

They stood close enough for Roger to feel Novak’s cock hardening against his thigh and he gently moved his leg, causing him to moan again. Within minutes they were naked and beneath the covers, both men on their sides with Novak gently riding his thigh for friction.

 

“This feel good?” Roger asked as he broke away from sexy lips, his voice dark from arousal. “You like this?”

 

“Yes. God, yes.” There was a groan as Novak threw his head back. “I love your voice when you talk like this.”

 

“Do you?” Roger knew he was teasing him, but it felt so good, the same anticipation running through his veins that he knew was running through Novak’s. “Tell me what you want, Nole.”

 

“What do you have to offer?” Hazel green eyes opened into his and for a moment Roger couldn’t breathe. The question, or really the answers that popped up in his mind threatened to mess him up on so many levels that it almost made him dizzy to think about it.

 

“Anything”, he heard himself whisper automatically, lifting a hand to lie against the side of Novak’s neck. “Anything you want, anything I can give you.”

 

There was so much gentleness in hazel green depths when the Serb gave back: “I’m pretty sure you know what I want, Roger.” He leaned in for a short kiss. “Stop teasing.”

 

They looked at each other for a few more seconds, until Roger kissed him again with all the passion that consumed him in that moment. He felt the hot and heavy pressure of the erection against his hip all too well, and just the sensation was enough to get him hard as well.

 

“Turn around”, Roger whispered and watched as the young man easily complied. His hands stroked down Novak’s side to his hip before gently pushing his upper leg forward. The position Novak was in couldn’t possibly be more open and exposed, and yet all that Roger felt was how relaxed Novak was, trusting him completely.

 

He moved closer to the attractive body in front of him, smiling at the long moan he got when he pressed his cock against that gorgeous ass. “I could just fuck you, right now”, Roger mumbled and started kissing and licking that delicate neck that was perfectly bared to him, eliciting a full body shudder from Novak.

 

If it hadn’t already been crystal clear what he wanted, that would have been the clue.

 

“And why don’t you?” the Serb mumbled, causing Roger to chuckle amusedly.

 

“Mostly because I’m not a horny teenager anymore.” He thought for a moment. “Well, horny maybe, but not a teenager. I intend on enjoying this.”

 

“Or you just want to drive me insane by teasing me.”

 

“He that can have patience can have what he will”, Roger whispered gently and opened his eyes when Novak turned his head to look at him with a quirked eyebrow.

 

“We’re naked in your bed, and you start with some old _quote_?”

 

“Benjamin Franklin isn’t just some old quote.”

 

“I’m not going to ask why you’re starting to quote Benjamin Franklin when you’re about to fuck me. Just take this as a hint: how about some quotes out of the Karma Sutra?”

 

Roger couldn’t stop himself from laughing heartily. It wasn’t the most elegant thing to do when you were, well, about to fuck your gorgeous lover, but Novak’s wide smirk told him he didn’t really mind. “God, you’re horrible”, Roger eventually whispered and leaned in for a kiss. “Really horrible.”

 

“Me, of course”, Novak chuckled. “More good quotes you want to get out before we get to the good stuff?”

 

“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet?” Roger grinned at the appreciative glance he got for that.

 

“Well, that’s a good one.”

 

“Aristotle.”

 

“I always thought he was pretty clever, so let’s hope it’s true.” With that the younger man pushed his ass back against his cock, adding with a much darker voice: “Now, fuck me. Talking so much about patience, mine is running out.”

 

“Give me a condom”, Roger chuckled, actually surprised at the fact that he was still fully erect, despite their little bantering. Then again, just to be pressed against Novak’s sexy body like this was enough to have him all hard, so maybe it wasn’t all that surprising.

 

He leaned in to kiss a strong shoulder, eyes closing at the soft skin he found. “You feel so good”, the Swiss whispered as he took the package from Novak, lips moving down his arm. Roger loved what he saw when he glanced up, hazel green eyes closed in obvious pleasure. “Touch yourself.”

 

After a short moment of hesitance, Novak did as he’d said. A quiet moan left his lips when he touched himself, but Roger was much more intrigued by the impressive arm muscles. He loved Novak’s athletic yet strong figure, the strength that was so evident in his every movement, and his arm muscles moved gorgeously as he stroked himself.

 

Roger kissed his way back up to a delicate neck, eventually holding up the condom again as he whispered: “Open it.” Technically he knew he was being a bastard, but he didn’t want Novak to come just yet, and this way he was at least giving him a good reason to take his hand off his cock again.

 

“Bastard”, the young man grunted and snatched the package from his hand to tear it open with his teeth, but groaned pleasurably anyway when Roger sucked on his earlobe.

 

“No coming just yet”, he whispered somewhat apologetically as he took back the opened package to finally put the condom onto his throbbing cock. “Move your leg up a bit.” Novak did as he said and while Roger squeezed some lube onto his erection, he whispered: “I don’t want to prepare you.”

 

“I’ll kill you if you waste time with that.”

 

Roger smirked and moved closer, causing Novak to moan loudly when he brushed against his opening. 

 

“God, Rog”, the young Serb gasped and turned his head, eyes opening to look up at him as Roger pushed slowly into him. Their gazes stayed locked and for a moment Roger thought he’d come right then. It was so damn hot, seeing the dilation of Novak’s pupils as he was taken slowly and deliberately, claimed in a way that couldn’t possibly make him feel more vulnerable.

 

His hand came up and he grasped Roger in the back of his neck, pulling him closer as he let his head sink against his shoulder, once again exposing his throat. It was clear what he wanted and the Swiss didn’t resist the invitation, loving to kiss and nibble on Novak’s skin way too much.

 

Gently pulling out, Roger waited a moment before thrusting back into the taut body, eliciting a choked grunt. He kept on with the slow pull and somewhat harder push, not missing how it pressed the air out of Novak’s lungs every single time. He let his hand move to a hard nipple, thumb brushing over the sensitive nub.

 

Eventually Roger lifted his head and just watched his lover’s face, unable to tear his eyes away. This was so beautiful, buried so deeply in tight heat while simultaneously being able to watch every reaction Novak gave to his every movement. And there wasn’t a single thrust or touch the man didn’t react to, little gasps and moans on his lips whenever Roger hit that bundle of nerves inside him.

 

Roger simply loved this position because it gave him both, the incredibly satisfying sensation of being deep inside Novak, and on top of that he could also see his face as he fucked him. It couldn’t get more perfect.

 

Eyes that were darker than usual, almost swallowed up by the huge pupils, opened and for a moment they just stared at each other, an intent shudder rocking through the Serb.

 

“Kiss me”, he gasped, a look of desperation crossing his features as he glanced down at Roger’s lips. “Please.”

 

He did as he was asked, and the moment their lips met Roger knew that he was losing every control he’d ever had over their lovemaking. There was so much longing and despair in this one single kiss, and it hit him completely unguardedly. All he could do was to kiss back, not even noticing how his movements became faster, his own desire finally taking over.

 

Novak groaned but didn’t break their kiss. His hand in Roger’s hair, it seemed like he never wanted to let go again. They came closer to the edge and, since Novak couldn’t touch himself, the older man did it for him, stifling the cry of ecstasy with his mouth.

 

“God, Roger, please”, Novak mumbled against his lips before he kissed down his chin. “Please, please. Roger. Please.”

 

He was outright _begging_ , begged for the Swiss to do something, to stroke him faster, to fuck him harder, to bring him to completion, and Roger found himself complying. Short gasps and choked pleas against his neck, he changed the angle of his thrusts several times until he got that grunt from Novak, the one that sounded like his grunts on court.

 

Roger kept the angle and quickly had Novak whimpering against his neck, unable to form any more coherent words. Just as Roger started to wonder how much more the Serb could take before falling apart, his body tensed up tightly and tore Roger’s orgasm from him the same moment Novak exploded in his hand.

 

They clung onto each other afterwards, and Roger couldn’t quite decide what was better: this intense build-up of sensual sex, or their intimate closeness in the aftermath. Novak gently kissed him on the nose sometime, and with a smile the older man decided it was tied. At least.

 

Lifting his head from his lover’s shoulder to look at him, Roger was a bit surprised to find Novak staring into empty space, an almost sad look in his eyes.

 

“Hey, you okay?” he asked with a frown, suddenly worried that something was wrong. This wasn’t at all what Roger wanted his lover to look like right after phenomenal sex; it wasn’t what he ever wanted Novak to look like. Ever.

 

“Sure”, Novak replied and smiled at him, though the distant and thoughtful look in his eyes was still there. “Rog, would you promise me something?”

 

“Everything.”

 

Somehow he was expecting the worst, so when the Serb gently grasped his hand and intertwined their fingers, Roger was taken aback. And the words that followed weren’t at all what he’d imagined.

 

“I love you. Don’t forget that, okay?” Novak glanced back at him, and somehow Roger had never been so aware of how much it hurt him to know that the young man was hurting, no matter that he didn’t even know why.

 

“I promise”, Roger said firmly and leaned in for a loving kiss, as both an affirmation of his words and a desperate need of affection. “Nole, what’s this about?” he then asked quietly, trying not to sound too anxious. “Have I done something wrong?”

 

“God, no”, Novak replied immediately and shook his head, the sadness in his eyes replaced by slight surprise at his words. “No, baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just… I just want you to know and remember. That’s all.”

 

They kissed again and Roger felt better, but he still wondered what had brought this up. Novak seemed to be fine, though, and nothing of the sadness in his eyes showed up again for the rest of their night, or the whole next week.

 

In fact, the week in Dubai felt more perfect to Roger than anything had in a long time. Novak and he were together all the time when they weren’t playing a match, and it had never felt so right. He found himself wishing to have this more often, to have Novak all to himself like this and only having to let him go for a couple of hours a day, if at all.

 

If it was for Novak’s sheer presence or the really frequent sex Roger didn’t know, but he found himself winning his second title in a row. He really seemed to be on a run and that felt damn good, considering how busy with his tour he was and how bad his back had been not long ago.

 

The only thing that was missing was Novak. After losing in the semis, Marian had insisted that he’d take an early flight to New York. Roger had understood, just thinking about the jet lag that awaited him was a bitch. He just wished they could have celebrated together, but even if the Serb had still been there it wouldn’t have been possible.

 

There was barely an hour between his final interview and Roger getting on his jet. The flight to New York was long, over 12 hours, and Roger knew he needed to sleep. There was a concert right the next day, and though he had made sure of having some free hours, Roger didn’t want to spend that time on a couch taking a nap. 

 

At least he’d been able to spend the drive to the airport on the phone talking to his lover, who was maybe a little too cheery that his sex theory had checked out. No matter what Roger had said, Novak had insisted that it was for them having had sex so often that he’d been relaxed and content and happy.

 

The Swiss was pretty damn sure he’d also have been relaxed and content and happy just having had Novak with him that week, sans any bedroom activity, but Roger hadn’t fought too hard. He’d enjoyed the young man’s obvious joy at his win so much and besides, it wasn’t like he wanted to give Novak yet another theory to work on.

 

After all he already had enough ‘no sex’ whenever they were apart…

 


	24. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His concert in New York is a special one, and Roger's glad to find some of his closest friends have come as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduces some of Roger's friends, who I borrow from the TV series _White Collar_. I'm a huge fan of Neal Caffrey and he's just SO gorgeous, I simply had to incorporate him into this story. 
> 
>  
> 
> I recommend you to watch these videos. The first video is just about sexy Neal Caffrey, with 'Sexy and I Know It' as the background song. Any more questions? I love this video so much! XD
> 
>  
> 
> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSB3gwLPP-c ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSB3gwLPP-c%20)  
> 
> 
>  
> 
> And then, just some videos to introduce the guys of the show to you, so you can somewhat imagine what their voices sound like if you don't know the show yet. Which, by the way, you should change. White Collar is awesome!
> 
> Neal & Peter: <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzF9w-1e9-Y>  
> 
> 
> Elizabeth (Elle) & Mozzie (I will introduce him in Part 2 of the _Revelations_ series): <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMXgeExMUGg>  
> 

 

**March 4, 2012. New York City, New York State**

 

It was a tough one, his concert in New York. Everything was being rushed to the facility, as a delay in their time plan messed things up completely. They were late, and Roger didn’t even get to go to the hotel when they finally landed in the city, he drove to Madison Square Garden right away.

 

He still loved it. The hectic was stressful, no question, and everyone was working at their limit, but it was also electrifying. Of course it meant that his meeting with the other players prior to the show had to get cancelled, there simply wasn’t enough time.

 

And of course it was driving him nuts that he still hadn’t seen Novak, but Roger was so used to suppressing that feeling that he almost didn’t even notice it. All he’d managed was a text to tell his lover that he needed to get to the facility right away and couldn’t see him before the concert.

 

The Swiss didn’t even know if Novak had texted him back or not, there wasn’t time to check his cell. It was that wonderful kind of stress that had him on edge, but Roger wasn’t so stressed out yet that he’d start snapping. He could still laugh when something went wrong, and he had quite a few good laughs before everything was done.

 

But, as always, in the end it was all working out yet again. It was crazy, that last hour or so before the show, when the pace would slow down and Roger could finally heave that sigh of relief, knowing it’d be okay. It was that moment that he remembered Novak.

 

Well, trust his heart to knock him over the head at just the wrong moment. He stared into the mirror in his dressing room, trying to decide whether it was a good or a bad thing that he was more than just his normal nervous at the thought of his lover standing front row at this one.

 

Maybe inviting all of the players hadn’t been such a good idea after all. Of course Roger appreciated that so many of his friends had made the stop on their way to Indian Wells, and he was glad it would send such a strong message about tennis to the outer world.

 

And yet, the thought of possibly looking into Novak’s eyes during his concert was giving him goose bumps. In the end, though, Roger hadn’t been able to quite gauge the wave of emotions that hit him when it actually happened.

 

The first couple of songs went fine. He was so busy with the choreography and absorbing the atmosphere that Roger almost forgot, but then during _Smash Into You_ , he couldn’t help but _look_.

 

It was admittedly dark, but the bright blue waves on the screens behind him provided enough brightness to enlighten the first couple of rows and there he was. Roger almost forgot how to breathe, and though he knew how to cover it up, it was completely unexpected.

 

Novak had told him before how much he loved his concerts, but seeing it in his eyes was something so utterly different, as Roger had to learn. And especially the things he was singing, _‘I wanna run, smash into you/ And I’m soaked in your love/ And love is right in my path, in my grasp’_ , it just totally crushed down on him.

 

New York was supposed to be his comfort zone. Some of his best friends lived here, and Roger wanted to enjoy the two days he had in the city. He’d looked forward to the concert so much, not only because it was the biggest one of his whole tour, but because of the after-show party.

 

And all he could think about was Novak. God, basically he knew that his longing for the man he was in a relationship with shouldn’t be a bad thing, but Roger became more and more desperate at the thought that his whole world was starting to unfold solely around the young Serb.

 

He couldn’t write, he couldn’t sleep, at least not before he’d at least talked to Novak on the phone, and he couldn’t think about anything else. Unless he was too busy to even think about eating, Roger’s thoughts always found their way back to his lover, and it was horrible to think that it disturbed him.

 

Novak was so wonderful, so loving towards him, and all Roger really thought about was finding a way to push him away without actually pushing him away. His heart refused to get that note, though. Whenever he heard the man’s voice it started beating faster, and the Swiss wanted _nothing_ more than to be with him.

 

That’s what he felt every single time he looked into hazel green depths during his concerts, the overwhelming need to just be with Novak. He wanted to kiss him again, like he hadn’t in three days. This longing was what made him pour his heart out that night, and Roger was extremely proud when he got off stage.

 

In fact, he was almost high on a mixture of pride, joy and gratification. For all the times he doubted himself and how his life had turned out, Roger couldn’t help but feel victorious as he quickly showered and pulled on fresh clothes before the party. This was what he loved, and when he joined the party he couldn’t help but laugh happily.

 

“[Neal](http://www.theurbangent.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/neal-caffrey-style-tug-white-collar-2.jpg)”, he called out for the man he’d spotted immediately, ignoring the looks he got for that. “Don’t tell me they actually let you off the leash for tonight.”

 

His words probably startled everyone within earshot, but the tracking device on the man’s ankle was too obvious, and it wasn’t like Roger gave a damn right now. Neal Caffrey, who’d been convicted of bond forgery and suspected of counterfeiting securities fraud, art theft and God only knows what else the FBI didn’t know about and never would.

 

Neal Caffrey, a felon who had been in prison for almost four years and, after escaping with only three months to go, was now assisting the White Collar division of the FBI to catch guys just like himself. Neal Caffrey, the man who had basically saved Roger after that hell of an engagement that he’d barely managed to walk away from alive.

 

He got over to the man and hugged him, not caring about who was watching. Neal was one of the reasons why he loved New York so much, and though he’d hoped to see him that night, Roger was still extremely excited that he’d made it.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Novak watched the prolonged and way too intimate embrace his lover was in at the moment with mixed feelings. He’d never thought it’d be possible, but right then he almost wished he’d gone back to the hotel right after the concert was over.

 

Admittedly, all the players had been invited to this party and the higher-ranked players were still there, at least those close to Roger, but Novak knew he didn’t exactly fit that criteria. Not officially, at least, and at the moment he was fairly insecure about their unofficial status as well.

 

Whoever that Neal guy was to Roger, [he was simply gorgeous](http://i.imgur.com/5QiYDl.jpg). With stunningly beautiful and incredibly intelligent blue eyes, black hair, lean body and an obvious taste in clothing, this man was one of those who had the ability to captivate a whole room.

 

And Roger let himself be captivated. The moment he’d arrived, his eyes had found the man immediately, not even looking around first, not even at Novak. There’d been so much joy in his eyes and the hug had been the final clue. Roger and Neal. Neal and Roger.

 

“Nah”, Neal now grinned a million watt smile after the two men had separated. Novak happened to stand close enough to hear what they were saying, though it didn’t seem like they were trying to be quiet or subtle in any way. “I was just allowed out of my two miles radius for a few hours, and it’s not like I’m alone.”

 

He nodded towards [a man behind him](http://tvpedia.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/white-collar-season-3-sezonul-3-peter-burke-neal-caffrey-wallpaper-3.jpg) that Novak didn’t know either, but Roger’s face lit up yet again. “Hey Peter”, he greeted him and walked over to shake his hand. He was older than Neal and Roger, had brown hair and was less stunningly gorgeous, but still admittedly handsome. “So good to see you.”

 

“The same here, Roger”, the guy smiled, just to turn and say somewhat louder: “Elizabeth, he’s here.”

 

A moment later [a brown-haired woman](http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a322/raligh/TV%20Boyfriends/TV%20Girlfriends/elizabeth-burke-picture.jpg) came walking over, pulling Roger in yet another tight hug.

 

“Elle”, the Swiss said joyfully and hugged her back. “Damn, you get more beautiful every time I’m gone for too long.”

 

“You’re such a charmer, Roger”, Elizabeth laughed. “God, it’s so good to see you. We miss you.”

 

“Believe me, I miss you guys too.”

 

Novak swallowed, both at the kiss that Roger pressed on the woman’s forehead and the tone in his voice, betraying him for the fact that he indeed missed these guys. A lot.

 

“How’s Satch?” Roger now asked, arm around Elizabeth’s shoulders.

 

“He wanted to come with us, like he knew we were going to see you.”

 

“That’s my boy”, Roger chuckled, but then got distracted yet again when he spotted another familiar face. “June?” An older lady with bright brown hair came towards him. She [looked really classy and elegant](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_OYVhScj9PRM/TMNUJt2ATTI/AAAAAAAAFPg/PAsVumJzOQg/s1600/White+Collar+Pilot+Neal+June.jpg), wearing an obviously expensive coat, and Novak watched as Roger leaned down to kiss her on the cheek before pulling her into a soft hug, smiling all the time. “It’s so great to see you, but you didn’t have to come here, really not.”

 

“I know, but like Elle said, we miss you.” June smiled as well. “It’s so good to have you here, Roger.”

 

“It’s always wonderful to be here, June”, the Swiss laughed. “You know how much I love you guys.”

  
“And Satchmo?” Elle asked with playfully daring eyes.

 

“And Satchmo, of course.” Roger grinned. “I take it Mozzie’s taking care of him?”

 

“Yeah, he wasn’t so keen on coming here, so he volunteered. By the way, have you seen what June brought you yet?”

 

Just like everyone else Novak looked in the direction the woman was pointing, and indeed, there was something quite unusual.

 

“June, you didn’t have to bring these here. I would have picked them up”, Roger said as he looked over to the three tables that were covered with clothes, including suits and coats, as well as a couple of cartons.

 

“It’s okay, I wanted to”, the older lady smiled and hooked a hand under the man’s arm to walk over with him. “Actually, I’m so excited to see you wear them. I’m very sure they’ll look great on you.”

 

Novak watched as Roger stepped closer, letting his hand stroke over one of the jackets lying in front of him. There was something deliberate about his movements, especially when he picked the cloth up to take a closer look.

 

“This is a Devore”, Roger said, the appreciation all audible in his voice as he looked at June, seeming a bit like a kid on Christmas Eve.

 

“Yes, it is”, the lady smiled. “Byron won it from Sy himself.”

 

“Won it?” The Swiss was stunned, his eyes wide in surprise, and Novak couldn’t help but smile. You didn’t get to see that look often.

 

“He beat him at a back door draw.”

 

Roger looked even more disbelievingly. “Your husband played poker with Sy Devore?”

 

“He certainly did. And so did I.”

 

“No”, the man said in disbelief, apparently startled from this piece of information.

 

“Yes”, June smiled. “The guys would even let me sit in once in a while on a hand. And I was good.”

 

“I can’t believe you never told me that”, Roger now laughed, obviously blown away. He was taking off his own jacket, revealing the simple white shirt he was wearing underneath. “You know, I haven’t been star struck in a while, but I think this counts.”

 

“When was the last time?”

 

“The last time?”

 

“You being star struck”, June chuckled. “I can’t imagine it happens too often.”

 

Roger thought for a moment before admitting: “Barack Obama, definitely. He’s an impressive man.” He’d slipped into the jacket while talking, and Novak had to admit, it was a damn perfect fit.

 

June seemed to think the same as she watched the man with a look between joy and sadness, eventually saying: “Oh, Byron used to wear that one whenever we went dancing. The neighborhood was… let’s say, it was much nicer than.”

 

“Sometimes I regret not having been born a couple decades earlier”, Roger admitted with a smirk. “Must have been some time, when Rhythm and Blues still meant what it’s supposed to.”

 

“You would have loved New York back then”, June agreed and laughed. “I can just imagine you at a piano in Byron’s and mine favorite club.”

 

While talking, Roger had opened one of the cartons and was now holding up a black hat, and Novak instantly recognized the classic fedora. Before anyone could say something, the man magically flipped it in his hand before [putting it on his head](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZ5Uy48dKN0) with [one swift movement](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS9ZpVG4UfI).

 

First of all, the hat trick was pretty cool, but really, now that was a sight. There was a stunning smirk on the Swiss’ lips, making him look all the more gorgeous with the fedora, especially when he pulled it somewhat deeper into his face and grinned sheepishly.

 

June smiled. “I’m glad to see you appreciate these.”

 

“June, these must be worth a fortune”, Roger said and looked up. “I can’t just accept these and you know it.”

 

“I already told I’d only donate them if you don’t take them. And I’d love to see you wear them, since I know how much you’d appreciate them. So, please, just accept them. If it makes you feel better, you could always accompany me to my annual charity ball.”

 

The Swiss laughed, heartily and joyful, and all of a sudden Novak remembered how he’d been so overwhelmed when he’d heard that sound for the first time all those years ago. There was something beautiful about Roger’s laugh, something that just made you smile along.

 

“I can do that”, he said and placed an arm around June. “And now, let me get you something to drink.”

 

“You should leave that on, you know”, Neal now said with a smirk and an appreciative glance up and down the man. The only reason Novak did not want to kill him right then was the amusement in his eyes that took away almost all of the seriousness in his flirting. “Looks hot.”

 

Roger just rolled his eyes, not even bothering to reply something, and Novak felt relieved when the focus was turned back on the party. The crew had put up tables and benches in a back part of the facility, but also a couple of much more comfortable couches, and that’s where the Serb found himself throughout the evening.

 

It wasn’t something he understood. No matter that, technically, Roger and he weren’t considered friends, they always ended up close on these occasions, like players parties or stuff like that. Maybe it was because they shared the same circle of friends on the tour, maybe it was for Rafa’s diligent attempts to bring them closer, Novak didn’t think it mattered.

 

The Swiss man’s friends were really nice people, and it didn’t seem like they minded to spend the party alongside Roger’s friends from the tour. They all were pretty surprised when it turned out that Peter was an FBI agent, especially considering who Neal was. Most of what was revealed about blue-eyed gorgeous came up during the talking and it wasn’t too detailed, but it was enough to make Novak wonder how exactly Roger and Neal had met.

 

There was an undeniable connection between the two, though Novak wasn’t sure it qualified as love, or even former love. They’d been lovers and it stung to see Roger so intrigued talking to the man, especially since it was fairly obvious that Neal was hellishly intelligent.

 

They shared a lot of interests, too. Novak had never known Roger harbored a deep love for art and history, and hearing him randomly recite facts and dates while discussing the work of some guy named John Singer Sargent was pretty impressive.

 

Actually, and Novak fairly hated the thought when it emerged, it almost seemed like Roger and Neal would be a far better fit than the two of them. Seeing his lover laugh with another man really didn’t help pushing these thoughts away. He knew Roger loved him, but that didn’t mean he was unfazed by this display of familiarity and comfort.

 

The Serb decided to take a break and went to the bathroom in Roger’s changing room. He took his time, trying to calm his unsettled nerves, but his shaking hands just didn’t want to obey him. What really bothered him wasn’t Neal’s uninhibited flirting with Roger, or their obvious history, or even how close they were.

 

What got to him was the distance between them, the fact that they still hadn’t talked or exchanged one single touch, much less a kiss. Nothing. God, sometimes Novak hated the fact that they were hiding their relationship. This whole night could have been so much easier for him if only he could be close to Roger. Even his flirting with Neal could have been much more bearable.

 

This way, though, it wasn’t, and Novak was considering getting back to his hotel once he got out of the toilet. Neal had suggested to take this to his place – his place, like that was something the Serb really wanted to see -, and though he hadn’t waited for the result of the discussion, he was pretty sure that’s what was about to happen.

 

And he wouldn’t be able to take it. Even if Rafa and some others would come along, spending even more hours watching his lover interact with that damn handsome man would just be too much. With a slight nod to himself Novak finally decided to get back to the party, only to stop in his movements the moment he’d opened the door back into Roger’s dressing room.

 

The Swiss man was leaning comfortably against the door across the room, his beautiful eyes watching Novak emerge from the bathroom.

 

“You were in there awfully long”, Roger remarked, a smile playing around his lips. “I was starting to get worried.”

 

“I didn’t try to drown myself, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Novak didn’t know what else to say, so he was quiet after that. Brown eyes studied him intently, but it wasn’t like it took much to realize that he was jealous, and Roger surely had caught up with it much earlier than now.

 

“Neal is a great man, you know.”

 

The younger man swallowed. So no small talk, cutting straight to the point. “He’s also gorgeous”, Novak added and there was much more bitterness in his voice than he’d liked.

 

“He’s the smartest person I ever met, I like that more”, Roger said, the honesty and openness startling Novak a bit. Before he could return something, the Swiss added: “He also saved my life.”

 

Now that was even more startling and it must have shown on his face, because Roger went on without waiting for Novak to say something. “Neal picked up the pieces after my engagement, Novak. I don’t know if you can imagine what I felt like, but for months I thought that all love ever does is crash and burn and end. I’m having a party out there and I intend to enjoy it, so I won’t go into details, not now, but I think you should know that Neal just made me feel good again. You’re right, he’s gorgeous. He’s also smart, fun, and fairly good in bed.”

 

Novak flinched at these words, saying: “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

 

“You’re right about that, but there’s a reason why you’re standing at the opposite of this room, and I don’t like it.”

 

They looked at each other for a while, and somehow the look in Roger’s eyes made his heart beat faster. There was determination with a hint of anger, like he couldn’t stand the thought that they were discussing Neal instead of making up for the days of not having seen each other.

 

And Roger seemed intent on resolving it, no matter what. Why else would he have followed Novak to the bathroom, even ignoring the chance of discovery. It felt so good Novak couldn’t help but smile.

 

“You mean, why I stand here instead of kissing you.”

 

The soft amused chuckle was like music in his ears. It also told him they were okay. “Yeah, that’s exactly what I mean.” Roger’s eyes were soft now, loving and just everything they hadn’t been as long as they’d still had to keep their cover. “I missed you.”

 

There was only one reason Novak wasn’t hurrying across the room to kiss the life out of the man, and that was merely a matter of location. God, he wanted nothing more than to kiss Roger, but he knew they wouldn’t be able to control themselves, and he knew that Roger knew as well.

 

“I know you want to go back to the hotel, and if you’re tired, go ahead, but if you only want to leave because of Neal, that’s ridiculous, Novak.” There was a slight hesitance before Roger went on which the Serb didn’t miss. “Look, I’d prefer if we could just go out there and stop pretending, but I’m sure your parents would appreciate it if you’re the one to tell them, and not read about us in the newspaper.”

 

“I know.” And he did. It just didn’t make it any easier.

 

“Neal’s a big part of my life, I won’t deny that, and I’d do pretty much anything for him.”

 

That made Novak frown, not out of jealousy but confusion. “But why? He’s a felon.”

 

“It’s not that simple, it never is. I don’t expect you to believe me just like that, but I know Neal is not a bad person, and if you want me to, I’ll tell you about him.” 

 

“About the two of you?”

 

“Sure”, Roger nodded with a half-smirk on his lips. “Whatever you really want to know.”

 

“That bad, huh?” Novak asked, but was laughing a moment later, and Roger chuckled as well. “I missed you too, by the way.”

 

They were silent for a while, just looking at each other, and then Novak was walking towards Roger, the distance between them becoming too much to stand.

 

It was like a moment of raw perfection when he stepped up to the man, just as Roger was straightening up a bit and turning his head towards him. Their lips met and though Novak could feel that they were both equally desperate to take this further, their kiss remained slow and gentle.

 

The loving gesture was over too soon, but it was the right thing to do. They stayed close to each other for a while longer, until Roger whispered: “We’re not taking this to Neal’s, and I’m not going to stay here much longer either, I’m dead tired. If you decide to stay, I’ll manage for us to drive back to the hotel together.”

 

“Won’t that raise suspicion?”

 

“We may not be alone, but we’re staying at the same hotel, so where’s the problem?”

 

Novak smiled. “I don’t see one”, he admitted. “And I’d really like to fall asleep with you.”

 

“If we shouldn’t arrive at the hotel together, just come to my room whenever you can”, Roger whispered and leaned in for a last kiss. “You should go back now, I’ll follow.”

 

“Hey, wait. I don’t have the key to your room.”

 

“Yes, you do”, there was that damn smirk again. “Check your pockets.”

 

With that Roger walked over to the toilets, while Novak searched his jeans until he found the key card in the right front pocket. He stared after his lover, for the life of him not able to figure out when he’d put it there. As far as he was concerned, Roger’s hands hadn’t even been close to his right hip.

 

~~~****~~~

 

Novak could tell what Roger was trying to do and though he appreciated it, he also knew it was fairly senseless. There was a connection between Neal and his lover that just couldn’t be denied, even if for a while the Swiss tried to not let it show all that much. If not for their brief talking it would still have bothered him, but now Novak was seeing it with different eyes.

 

_He also saved my life._

 

There was a lot more to Neal Caffrey than what met the eye, he’d already figured out that much, but if Roger’s words were meant as literal as Novak believed they were, he actually had every reason to feel thankful towards the conman. Which was a weird enough thought, considering he didn’t even know him.

 

But Roger did, and from what he’d said and how he acted around Neal, was telling everything one needed to know. He respected the blue-eyed man, and though he sometime went back to going along with Neal’s flirtatious manners, it was clear that Roger was more amused than turned on.

 

Very much in contrast to when Novak stepped up to him a little too closely, hand lingering on his lower back for some dangerously long seconds, but the look in brown eyes totally made it worth it. It was a beautiful little moment of intimacy like the Serb couldn’t wait to get it later that night, full of promises and secret longing.

 

They actually did end up driving back to the hotel together, and thankfully with only a slightly drunk Rafa who had insisted that the three of them should take one and the same cap. The Spaniard was in the front seat, and with Roger and Novak alone in the back it was all they could do to not jump each other’s bones.

 

The Swiss’ smirk was adorable, and only the fact that he seemed to yawn almost every minute was stopping Novak from getting his hopes up too high. They were both tired, and as long as they’d fall asleep in each other’s arms he’d be more than fine with it.

 

“Good night, guys”, Rafa slurred when he stepped out of the elevator, actually managing to not stumble more than once.

 

“You sure you’ll find the right door, Rafa?” Roger quirked an eyebrow while holding the doors open.

 

“Me is just a little fuzzy, ‘m fine.”

 

“Alright, good night then”, Roger agreed and grinned as he pressed the close button, waiting the few seconds until the elevator was closed before adding: “Think we need to make a stop at your floor?”

 

“At 1 a.m.? Screw it”, Novak gave back and looked over at his lover with a smile. “You got plans tomorrow?”

 

“Hmm, not yet”, Roger smirked. “Why?”

 

“Want you”, the young man whispered, finally letting his longing creep into his voice. “Wanted you all night.”

 

“I noticed.”

 

“Good.” Novak let his eyes wander over Roger’s body, not even bothering to hide it. “And I’m pretty sure I’ll want you tomorrow all day long, too.”

 

“All day long, huh?”

 

There was a certain breathlessness to that dark voice that made the little hairs in the back of his neck stand up, and Novak couldn’t help the shiver that shook through him. The elevator finally arrived at the top floor and they were both silent as they made their way to Roger’s room.

 

One quiet ding and a somewhat louder thud later Novak was wrapped in strong arms, soft lips claiming his whole being like there was no tomorrow. Roger was undeniably tired, even more so than he was. His movements were lazy as he slowly stripped the younger man naked, but he only laughed when Novak quietly suggested to just go to bed.

 

Admittedly, they were both hard and leaking, so simply going to sleep was not exactly an option. And the Swiss man wasn’t any less intense about fucking him than always, no matter how tired he so obviously was. Novak felt like he was on a height, clinging onto his lover and he didn’t care if it might have been too desperate.

 

He was breathless and sweaty and feeling so damn good when he cuddled up to Roger’s side, placing his head on a strong shoulder. “Does this make your list as tired sex?”

 

“Hmm-mh”, the Swiss mumbled as he lazily stroked through Novak’s hair and down his neck. “Smartass.”

 

“You love my ass.”

 

“You think?” With that Roger let his hand travel down, just to place it possessively on said body part. “Yeah, you’re right.”

 

Novak chuckled, but didn’t say anything else. He felt Roger’s breathing even out, and a minute later he was in deep slumber. For a while the young man just listened to his heartbeat and steady breath, the rhythm comforting in a way Novak found he didn’t want to miss anymore.

 

This was so beautiful, falling asleep with someone in your arms, and he really longed to have that every night. When he felt sleep pull at him too, Novak dragged the covers up higher, but just as he wanted to reach up for the light switch, his gaze got stuck on Roger’s face.

 

Instead of turning off the lights his fingers moved to soft brown hair, carefully stroking through it before wandering down to the warm skin of his cheek. It was moments like this when it really struck him. And just like whenever this had happened before, Novak was simply breathless all of a sudden.

 

Roger was there, with him, by his side, and it was the most beautiful knowledge ever. He hadn’t forgotten the distance the man had tried to put between them, especially before Dubai, but in that moment it didn’t matter. Roger was relaxed, a happy smile playing around his lips, and it was all because of him.

 

Novak finally tapped against the switch and the room was encased in darkness. He lay down again and within seconds he was asleep, his happy smile mirroring the one on his lover’s lips. 

 


	25. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the next morning and they just talk for a while, also about Neal.

 

_No matter that he’s out of breath and completely overwhelmed after a mind-splitting orgasm – being woken with a blow-job can do that to you -, Novak still arches his hips up, pulling Roger even deeper into him. There are lips on his skin, pressing soft kisses on his collar bone and neck. There’s a hand, or maybe two?-, stroking over his arms and shoulders, fingertips grazing the side of his neck._

_Roger slowly slides out of him and then back in, the Serb’s gasp muffled by their joined mouths. Their tongues push against each other, gliding along, dancing, while Novak feels a hand at the back of his head, holding him in place. The next thrust is sharper and he cries, thinking it’s his lover’s name that leaves his lips, but he’s not sure._

_He breathes quickly, gentle lips gone from his, but then Novak feels them on his cheek, feels the hitch of Roger’s breath when he mumbles his name again. A soft touch on his ribs while Roger kisses his jaw, moving lower until he settles, mouth pressed against his neck._

_There’s the Swiss’ name again, leaving his throat with a moan, and then again, and again. Each time there’s a gasp or a hitch in Roger’s breath, like hearing his name was a caress. His body is warm under Novak’s touch as he explores, the hair in the back of Roger’s neck so soft, his skin sweaty._

_He mumbles, rambles, the stream of Serbian words flowing from his lips as his stomach tenses, his own whimper-like moans merging with Roger’s. There’s too much of everything, his lover everywhere around him, inside him and he can’t hold back, doesn’t have the strength to suppress the sounds he makes._

_They rock together and he faintly wonders when Roger prepared him, but it all vanishes into pleasure._ Roger _and_ yes _and_ please _are the only coherent words he brings out, the rest a blur of his mind trapped between sleep and arousal. Novak kisses his lover’s neck, skin salty, before he moves along his cheek._

_The hand on his shoulder slips to the back of his neck, the brush of a thumb along his spine sending chills through him. His legs tighten around the older man’s waist and he knows he gets the message when Roger shifts slightly above him. Novak recognizes when he starts thrusting more seriously and he knows they both don’t need much more._

_Lips part and their tongues meet, bodies tightly pressing against each other and Novak can’t help but rock his hips up, shudder of pleasure running through him when it gets a moan from Roger. “So good”, he mumbles, or really tries to. He’s not sure a tone even makes it out of his mouth, but it doesn’t matter._

_It’s all a constant flow of sensations, Roger’s wet mouth on his collarbone, hot breath burning into his skin. A hand wraps around his cock and it tears a strangled cry from him again, louder this time and definitely not anywhere close to a word. “I love you”, Novak hears and it’s overwhelming, whispered against his shoulder, marking his skin._

IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou _, again and again. The words imprint themselves on his heart, the truthfulness in Roger’s voice so hauntingly beautiful. Hands stroke over his body, not leaving a single spot untouched. It’s almost too much, the alternation of soft caresses and rough demanding touches, fingernails scratching along his sides, a hard grip on his hips that is bound to leave marks._

_He feels the intenseness in everything Roger does, his thrusts sharpening, his own sounds becoming louder and more desperate. Novak wants it to last, but he knows the signs, realizes how close the Swiss is, just like he is._

_His cock is dripping over Roger’s hand, the pre-cum making him glide around his shaft easier, and Novak breathes, “Molim”, begging for more and he gets it. He presses his face into the older man’s neck, teeth scraping over his skin because he wants to give him something as well, but doesn’t know how to move._

_And then Novak tenses under Roger, surprised when he comes suddenly with a soft cry of his lover’s name slipping from his mouth. He continues to whimper when he’s stroked throughout his orgasm until it’s almost painful, shivering at every thrust into him and even through the rush in his ears he can hear Roger groan. The sound is raw and beautiful, and then he’s sprawled over him, body heavy and comforting all at once, completely spent._

 

~*~

 

For a moment he wasn’t sure whether he was still dreaming or just a very lucky bastard whose life was fucking perfect in that moment. Then Roger rolled off him, landing on his back with a grunt and Novak felt his lips pull into a smirk. Maybe it was both.

 

He rolled over too, snuggling up to his lover’s strong chest and heaved a comfortable sigh. “That’s quite an awesome way to wake me up.”

 

“Thought you might appreciate it”, Roger gave back, undoubtedly smirking.

 

Novak chuckled and reached up to kiss the man on the cheek. He blinked his eyes open for the first time this morning, taking in the gorgeous sight in front of him. Roger was still breathing hard, a sheen of sweat grazing his tanned skin and it was all that he could think of as he moved to cover his body with his.

 

His tongue rubbed over the Swiss’ lower lip again and again, until Roger caught him off guard, his own tongue sliding over Novak’s. It was wet and slick and _loud_ , the smack of mouths parting and meeting in the silence of the room, but it wasn’t nearly as hot as the sounds coming from Roger.

 

“God, I love these sounds you make”, Novak whispered against sexy and slightly swollen lips, just to place wet mouth kisses onto Roger’s neck. “I want to suck you off so bad.”

 

Novak pinned his wrists on the mattress, thumb gently caressing the insides as he claimed his mouth again, kissing Roger who was so pliant underneath him now, so open and willing. He let go of one of his arms, hand stroking along the softness of his sides before teasingly following the outlines of muscles on his stomach and hips.

 

“Do you want me to suck you off?” he asked, feeling a smile form on his lips. Novak’s own cock was still soft, which wasn’t surprising since he’d already come twice, but the older man hadn’t. His erection was growing against his thigh, hot and heavy, and he couldn’t wait to do all the things to Roger that he wanted to.

 

“Yes”, he heard the man answer his question, voice barely audible. He cleared his throat and said it again, causing Novak to look up at him with a smile.

 

“Tell me about Neal then.”

 

His words probably surprised both of them, but he quickly realized that in a way this was the most comfortable way for him to talk about any of Roger’s ex-lovers. Having the man underneath him, squirming and desperate, eager for whatever Novak was willing to do to him, was just the right circumstance for a talk like this.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me”, Roger said and lifted his head to look at him. “Seriously? _Now?_ ”

 

“You said you’d tell me whatever I wanted to know.” Novak shrugged innocently, though he was very aware of what this was really about.

 

Roger snorted. “I did, but I can’t believe you’re bringing him up right now.”

 

“Let’s just say the sight I’m enjoying makes it much more bearable to hear you talk about that blue-eyed gorgeousness.” His voice was full of bitterness and Novak didn’t like it, but instead of letting Roger react he just closed his mouth over a nipple a second later. He barely restricted himself from sucking and biting too hard, whereas the grasp of his hand on the Swiss’ hip would definitely leave bruises.

 

It was little comfort, but then there was a hand on the back of his neck, fingers gently stroking along his spine. “Okay”, Roger eventually agreed, sounding only a bit too much out of breath. “What do you want to know?”

 

“How did you two meet?”

 

“Art auction two years ago. I was there for a portrait by Haustenberg, ‘Young Girl With Locket’, and Neal outbid me. He asked me out, I said no. A week later I saw him jump out of the window of the third floor, a judge’s office, and flee the scene. Two days later we had dinner for the first time.”

 

Novak blinked, the amount of information either too much or too little, and he wasn’t so sure which it was. A soft chuckle reached his ear, brown eyes looking at him softly as Roger explained: “Someone was trying to frame Neal for something he for once hadn’t actually done. He somehow managed to get a hearing in a judge’s office, and then he jumped out of the window, knowing there was an awning right underneath it that would carry him. Oh, and Haustenberg was a Hungarian painter, and his paintings are rare, as in very rare. Not many made it out of the country after World War II. The one I was after is worth 2, maybe 2.5.”

 

“Thousand?”

 

“Million”, the Swiss half-smirked, and Novak found himself staring up at him.

 

“If Neal outbid you, he’d had to have paid…”

 

“He actually bid 3 million, my max was 2.5.”

 

The Serb swallowed, and even the sight of his naked lover could do little to stop the sick feeling that exploded in the pit of his gut. 3 million. A man had paid 3 million US dollar to get Roger into his bed, and it had worked. It was way more than Novak could afford, that was for sure. He didn’t have money problems, not anymore, but that was so far out of his league, and he hadn’t even…

 

“Novak, you don’t honestly think I slept with him because of the money, or because I was impressed?” Roger looked at him with a mix of disbelief and amusement. “I just told you that I said no when he asked me out.”

 

“Why?” And that was what he didn’t understand. “I’m mean, 3 million? And he’s gorgeous, he’s smart, he’s funny, so why…”

 

“Because I met him six months after my engagement kind of exploded right in my face, and I wasn’t exactly done sulking and drowning myself in alcohol yet.”

 

Roger lifted a hand to stroke over his face, the gesture seeming awfully tired, while Novak bit his bottom lip very hard. The words were like a punch in his face, and he heard himself whisper: “I’m sorry, I didn’t…”

 

“It’s okay”, the Swiss sighed. “I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t busy with my music and everything, so I didn’t exactly have the time to sulk and drink. For sure not as much as I wanted to, but I guess it was better that way.”

 

“Definitely.” Novak couldn’t tear his eyes from Roger’s face. Just the thought of him feeling bad enough to just want to sulk and drink himself into oblivion was not something he ever wanted to live to see. Ever.

 

There was an overwhelming urge inside him to take away the pain, to make Roger feel better at all costs. It didn’t matter that he knew that he couldn’t. He didn’t even notice when he started breathing feathery kisses on a strong chest again, only the sound of a shaky breath when he hit an especially sensitive spot made him catch up with it.

 

“I’m still sorry”, he whispered, lips lingering where Roger’s heart was beating like a lifeline that Novak was desperately holding onto. “For everything.”

 

“Do you have any idea about how I felt after finding the man I loved in bed with another?” Roger’s voice was neutral, but his words made Novak glance up at him and the pain was all there in his eyes. “I blamed myself, Novak. I hated myself. I couldn’t let anyone close for months, because I didn’t feel worthy of any kind of affection. I could barely stand my own mother’s hug, simply because I didn’t believe anyone could love me. Can you imagine how it made me feel to realize that the man I loved so damn much didn’t want anything more from me than my money?”

 

_I can now_ , Novak wanted to say, but he couldn’t. His throat was tight, and just the thought of Roger hating himself like that when all of that crap had been the fault of that fucking son-of-a-bitch, it almost broke him.

 

“I felt worthless”, Roger went on, his voice cold and emotionless, which was worse than anything else because it spoke volumes about how he must have felt at the time. “I thought it was my fault that he couldn’t love me. There were mornings right after the break-up when I couldn’t even look in the mirror, because I couldn’t stand looking at my own face, thinking it was the reason I had lost what I had wanted so much.”

 

Novak forced himself to breathe, finding that he’d sometime stopped doing that as he’d listened to what he wasn’t sure he’d ever wanted to know.

 

“And then there was Neal”, the older man went on with a shrug, though Novak wasn’t so sure if he really felt as casual as he acted. “He just made me feel good again, you know? He was everything that I didn’t feel like I deserved it ever again. He was charming, romantic, funny, and I can’t say his looks didn’t catch my eye. But that’s not why I did sleep with him in the end. He didn’t want something permanent, and neither did I. It was just about a hell of a lot wine and damn good sex, and yeah, if you and me weren’t where we are right now, I’d probably have spent the night with him, depending on whether he’d be working on a case or not.”

 

They were both silent for a few minutes, time that Novak spent thinking about what he’d just heard while Roger just looked at him. His fingers continued to stroke over his chest and stomach, like they had done all the time while the older man had been talking. He wasn’t sure if it was to calm Roger or himself, and it didn’t matter.

 

He had no doubt about the truthfulness in these words, and as strange as it sounded, the jealousy he’d been feeling towards Neal was actually replaced by something closer to thankfulness. He’d been there for Roger and even if Novak couldn’t say he liked the thought of them sharing a bed, he felt relieved that someone had managed to make the Swiss feel worthy again.

 

“Neal made me laugh again, Novak”, Roger eventually spoke into the silence, causing him to look up. “He did all that romantic stuff Michael had never cared about, he seduced me with every trick in the book, and it was just an amazing feeling after months of self-loathing.”

 

“Did you love him?”

 

Roger shook his head, not even hesitating to do so. “No, I never did. Maybe, if we’d met at another time in my life I could have, but I wasn’t ready. It still hurt too much, and I couldn’t take that step, not yet, and it’s not like falling for a conman would be smart. But I always cared for him, and I always will. I’d do anything within my powers to help him stay out of prison.”

 

“Why?” Novak couldn’t stop himself from wondering. Roger was a tennis player and singer, there were a hell of a lot of bad things to come out of it if he was ever linked to a felon like Neal. So why risk it?

 

“Because Neal’s not a bad guy, Novak. He lost his father when he was just a kid, alongside a lot of other things, but he’s not a killer. He’s a good man, and no matter what he’s done, he doesn’t deserve to die in prison.”

 

They just looked at each other for a while. Novak didn’t know what to make of a statement like that, having his own lover declare that he’d do anything he could for another man. Brown eyes calmly held his gaze, like Roger knew exactly what he was thinking and waiting for his reaction.

 

“What did he do to end up in prison in the first place?”

 

The Swiss sighed. “If I tell you that, I need to know that I can trust you with this first, Novak.”

 

“Why do you think you can’t…”

 

“I’m not saying that I don’t trust you, but it’s obvious that you’re jealous. You don’t have to be, but you are, and the answer to what you’re asking is enough to send Neal back to prison for the rest of his life.”

 

Roger’s eyes were incredibly gentle and loving, and Novak realized that this wasn’t an attack. This was just the older man protecting a close friend of his, also from his overly jealous lover.

 

“You don’t have to feel jealous of Neal, Novak”, Roger said softly, tearing him from his musings. “I don’t know if I could have gotten over that crap of a relationship without him. I may not even be here right now, loving you more than anything else in my life, if not for him. Neal taught me how to be myself again, and I will always be thankful for that. It doesn’t change a thing about what I feel for you, Novak. I love you.”

 

Without thought the young man moved in for a stormy kiss, causing Roger to gasp in surprise. A moment later, though, his hands came up to frame Novak’s face, holding him close as he kissed him back oh-so-slowly and with nothing but love. When they parted the Swiss’ thumbs continued to stroke over his cheeks, eyes studying every inch of his face.

 

“Neal is incredibly talented”, Roger started after a while, never stopping to touch Novak. “He’s a con artist and he can forge pretty much anything, paintings, sculptures, bonds. He stole a hell of a lot really valuable stuff, and I’m still not convinced the Mona Lisa in The Louvre is still the real one. Anyway. He was twenty or something when he came to New York, where he met Mozzie.”

 

“Who’s that?”

 

“A very, very weird little man, who’s also a conman and Neal’s partner or something. Moz is also my friend. So, Mozzie watches Neal con a man out of $500 and after that takes him under his wing. They targeted a CEO, and to make a long story short, that CEO just happened to be a conman as well. Neal ended up broke and unemployed, and that’s when he told his girlfriend about his real profession.”

 

“He has a girlfriend?”

 

“Had, her name was Kate. Neal, Mozzie and Kate started running scams together, and for a while that was fine, but with Neal there’s always more. There was this music box, and Neal intended to go to Europe to try and get it, but Kate realized what he was doing and she accused him of trying to con her. She stayed in New York, Neal went to Europe without her and almost ended up dead in France.”

 

“You know, maybe you should write a novel about this”, Novak remarked, causing Roger to smirk.

 

“Oh yeah. So, when things went really in Europe, Neal managed to get back to America, but Kate was gone, and that’s when he started making mistakes. He wanted to catch her eye, so he did bigger cons and forgeries, trying to catch her attention.”

 

“And that’s when the FBI caught him.”

 

“Peter did.”

 

And now Novak tore his eyes open.

 

“Peter?”

 

“Jep. He’s the only guy who ever caught Neal. For three years the FBI was onto him, but they couldn’t find him, much less catch him, but then Peter figured out that Neal had no idea about where Kate was. They found her and put up a trap.”

 

“Okay, and then he was put into jail.”

 

“For four years, but when he had only three months to go, Neal escaped. To be exact, he just walked out the front door.”

  
“From a federal prison?”

 

“I told you, Neal is talented.” Roger grinned. “You want to know why he ran?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Because of his girlfriend”, the man smirked. “She’d visited him to tell him that she was leaving him for good, and that’s when he started planning his escape. He got another four years for the escape, by the way.”

 

Novak blinked. “That’s awfully romantic.”

 

“Oh yeah, it is. After breaking out of prison Peter caught him yet again, but that was when Neal made a deal with the FBI. He’s now working as a full-time consultant for the FBI, and if you thought the thing on his anklet is some new fashion, it’s a tracking anklet, allowing him a two-mile radius around his home, unless he’s at work.”

 

They were silent for a little while, time that Novak used to sort out his thoughts. This was a lot of information to take in, and Roger seemed to know that as he just waited patiently for another question.

 

“What happened to Kate?”

 

“A couple of months after getting out of prison and on his deal with the FBI, Neal wanted to flee, together with Kate.” Roger hesitated before quietly adding: “They were at the airport, Peter tried to stop Neal. Kate was already in the plane when they watched it explode.”

 

Novak could only stare at him, but the truth of what he’d just heard was in his lover’s eyes. “God.”

  
“Yeah”, Roger sighed. “And the rest of the story is pretty much pure fantasy. The guy who blew the plane up was after the music box, which lead to an old U-Boat with a treasure inside it that was worth billions. They found it, but then it exploded as well, only that Mozzie had swapped the treasure for the forgeries in Neal’s art studio, making the FBI believe that the treasure was gone, when really he’d managed to let it disappear.”

 

“And then?”

 

“Neal and Mozzie knew that there was a list of some of the treasure’s pieces, so they couldn’t sell it without alerting the FBI. A rival of Neal’s caught wind of it and, making things short again, he kidnapped Elle to get it.”

 

“Peter’s wife?”

 

“Yeah. Peter flipped out. He’d suspected Neal to have the treasure all along and he was just so close to killing him. They got her back and Keller’s in prison, but it brought Peter’s old boss to New York, Kramer. There was a hearing, when it was up for debate whether Neal should be let off the anklet or not. You need to know, a long time ago, Neal stole a Raphael that was never found; it’s part of why he was sent to prison the first time. Kramer wanted to frame Neal for that, but Neal managed to bring back the painting without any consequences, so Kramer tried to get his hands on him some other way.”

 

“Did it work?”

 

“No. Neal vanished.”

 

“Vanished?”

 

“Disappeared, went completely off the radar. That’s what Neal does, he can be here and then gone in a minute.”

 

“So you lost him?”

 

“Him and Mozzie”, the older man nodded, but didn’t at all seem like he’d been too devastated about it. “They went to Cape Verde, and for a couple of months I thought I’d never see them again. Peter managed to bring them back, though, and since then it’s been pretty quiet.”

 

Novak snorted and shook his head. “Wow. That sounds more like fiction than real life.”

 

“Let’s say it doesn’t get boring with Neal Caffrey.” Roger smiled softly. “Did this clear things up?”

 

“Not sure”, the Serb laughed. “I think I might have more questions than before.”

 

“Well, I can understand that, but seriously, can we get to these some other time?” There was an adorable smirk on Roger’s lips and Novak chuckled amusedly, though he wasn’t quite ready yet to let the topic go.

 

“Soon, just… I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”

 

“I’m not”, Roger said to his surprise, shrugging when Novak looked at him in confusion. “I don’t say I couldn’t have lived without it, but I believe it’s made me the person I am today. I like scars. They remind us where we’ve been.”

 

For the first time Novak realized just how much more grown-up Roger was than himself. These words held so much insight in life, and he couldn’t quite believe that only the age difference of six years between them was the reason for that. The older man had gone through so much, most of which he didn’t even know about. It was a lot more than most people lived to see in their whole life, and Roger was only thirty years old.

 

And yet somehow he had managed to stay himself against all odds, a kind, generous and still so incredibly humble man. It was astonishing, really.

 

“I’d really like to meet him.”

 

“Neal? But you met him tonight.”

 

“Not like that, more… as your boyfriend. I don’t know, but I just feel like I want to get to know the man who made you see again what a beautiful person you are.” Novak swallowed, his throat impossibly dry, but then he pushed his nerves aside. He really needed to say this and he would. “It makes me so angry that you were hurt so bad, but it’s even worse to think that you hated yourself like that. I just… I’d just like to say thanks to Neal for making you aware of how much there’s to love about you.”

 

Roger gaped at him, he could feel it even though he didn’t dare to look. For over a minute there were no words, but when he hesitantly glanced up Novak was completely mesmerized. There was so much disbelief, the older man so utterly astonished at what he’d just told him, that it was almost unreal.

 

It was reflected in his voice when Roger finally whispered: “I’m pretty sure that counts as the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.”

 

Novak’s heart did crazy flip-flops in his chest, but he still managed a half-smile. “If that is true, it’s a real shame.” He moved up until he was face to face with Roger and kissed him lightly, barest brush of lips before he pulled away again. “Love you for more than just your looks, you know.”

 

“Yeah, I know”, Roger smiled and the disbelief was replaced by deep affection and a hint of amusement. At the same time, though, Novak could feel that the man was still overwhelmed from his words and confession, and so was he.

 

“I smile because of you, Roger.”

 

“What?”

 

“There’s a quote”, Novak explained hastily, feeling his cheeks getting hot. He didn’t dare look up at the Swiss’ eyes, so he watched where his fingers were stroking over his skin. “I’m pretty sure the author’s unknown, and… I don’t know, it goes like, ‘The most beautiful thing in life is that someone smiles because of you’.” He swallowed, licking his lips before repeating his own words: “I smile because of you, Roger.”

 

He heard a chuckle and looked up in confusion. Roger was incredulously shaking his head at him as he whispered: “And here you’re topping your own words within two minutes. Nole, I…”

 

“I’m sorry”, he was quick to say, though he didn’t even really know why. “It’s just, I can’t stand the thought of you not seeing what a beautiful person you are, and I just…”

 

“God, Nole. _Shut_. _Up_.” Roger lunged at him and it was so sudden Novak wasn’t prepared, ending up on his back with the older man halfway on top of him. Despite the abruptness they shared a soft breath before their mouths met, Roger’s tongue sliding past the corner of his lips without hesitance. He pressed against Novak’s tongue gently, until he glided over him, licking across the roof of his mouth.

 

It all turned into a blur. One moment they were kissing slowly, almost lazily, and the next second Novak could hear his name as he glided down his lover’s body. It was breathless, like the moans that followed when he finally reached his destination and he knew Roger wasn’t going to last long.

 

He didn’t only feel the urge to suck Roger off anymore. He also wanted to make love to him, more than anything else and once the man had somewhat recovered from his height of being enthusiastically sucked off, Novak did just that. It was slow, it was intense, and all he could think about was _Roger_ , his name moving in loops in his mind.

 

They clung onto each other in the aftermath, not having spoken a word since the Swiss had told him to shut up. Roger kissed him on the forehead after a while, mumbling something about having to check his cell and Novak let him go, even if it was hard. He watched his lover’s naked back as he sat on the edge of the mattress and let his hand gently glide up and down the warm skin.

 

“Is it okay if Bey and Jay come over in about an hour?” Roger asked and turned to look at him, his eyes full of joy and Novak understood that it wasn’t just his friends he was looking forward to see.

 

“You haven’t seen her yet?”

 

“No, yesterday was too crazy. So, you’re okay if th…”

 

“Don’t be silly, just tell them to get here whenever they want”, Novak chuckled and met Roger halfway when he leaned in for a kiss. “I’m going to take a shower.”

 

“Don’t hurry”, the older man suggested with a smirk, but just as he turned back to his cell, the device in his hand ringed. Roger glanced at the display and smirked when he moved to lie down on his side, looking at Novak again. “Hey Neal.”

 

It was much funnier than it should be and Novak found it hard not to laugh out loud at the way Roger was looking at him. “Hmm, yeah, sounds good”, the man said after listening for a moment. “But I can’t, sorry.”

 

If it hadn’t been near silent he wouldn’t have caught the other man’s reaction, but this way the Serb didn’t miss the mocking, almost ridiculing sound of his voice when he said something to Roger. His lover only grinned and to Novak’s surprise he leaned in to him, lips brushing against his before he said: “Oh yeah, it’s a very good alternative.”

 

There was no way Neal didn’t get the hint; hell, it wasn’t a hint, it was more like a kick in the pants. Brown orbs were full of amusement as he stared at Novak, the both of them listening to the astonishing silence at the end of the line. “Neal, you still there?”

 

The man finally said something, though it only made Roger laugh. “Did I? C’mon, Neal, it’s not a lie when I don’t answer your question. No, I’m not telling you who it is. You’re smart, you’ll figure it out. Yeah, right, Djokovic would really be some kind of a stretch.”

 

Novak’s eyebrows shot up and if he hadn’t been there he might just have believed these words, that was how serious Roger had sounded. The expression in his eyes, though, totally gave the Swiss away and he knew they both could just barely suppress their laughter.

 

_Love you_ , he mouthed and moved in for another gentle kiss before getting out of bed. It wasn’t that he wanted to leave Roger, but there’d be only so many times Neal wouldn’t catch something that would give them away. A shower sounded nice, too, and aside that Novak also wanted to show Roger that he trusted him enough to not insist on listening in on his call with Neal.

 

“Yeah, he’s great. Nice ass and everything”, he heard Roger say behind him and Novak felt his face turn hot and red, unusually conscious of his nakedness. He didn’t dare turn around and he could hear a chuckle from the bed as he disappeared in the bathroom, a broad grin on his face that just refused to disappear.

 

He turned on the shower and took a look at himself in the mirror as he waited for the water to warm up. The happiness was written all over his face and for a moment Novak stopped in his every movement.

 

Had Roger really just told one of his closest friends that he was seeing someone?

 

His grin broadened yet again. Novak was no expert, but he figured that it counted as a pretty big deal in a relationship, and he nothing but loved it.

 

Roger’s voice still sounded from the bedroom when he stepped into the shower, but he wasn’t alone in there for long. He laughed happily when the Swiss attacked him from behind after sneaking up to him, arms winding around his waist as agile lips reached for his ear.

 

“Stop it”, Novak grunted, but knew he didn’t sound very convincing. “And close the damn shower door.”

 

“Yes. _Sir_.” Roger let his voice drop about two octaves as he moved closer to his backside. “You’ve got something on your mind that you don’t want anyone to watch?”

 

“Always do”, he quipped and they both laughed because, yeah, it was true. He always had something dirty on his mind, especially when there was this gorgeous hot man in his sight. “How’d he take it?”

 

“He’s shocked, actually”, Roger chuckled.

 

“Because you’re seeing someone?”

  
“Because he didn’t notice I’m in a relationship yesterday.” The older man was kissing his shoulder by now, his hands gliding slowly over his stomach. “By the way, can you explain to me why we’re talking about Neal when we have barely an hour left alone?”

 

God, would there ever come a time when he wouldn’t be so utterly overwhelmed by longing and desire when he heard Roger say something like that, the way he said it?

 

“No”, Novak whispered and finally turned around to move an arm around his lover’s neck, holding him close. He brushed their lips together while his free hand came to rest on Roger’s hip. “I can’t.”

 

“Good. Now stop thinking about Neal more than you’re thinking about me and kiss me.”

 

“Yes, sir”, Novak breathed and did as the Swiss had asked, but pulled back again after a while. “And I’m definitely not thinking about Neal more than I think about you.”

 

“That’s good to hear, now show me.” Roger smirked and took a step back towards the shower wall, leaning against it as he let his gaze wander down Novak’s body. He didn’t at all seem too beaten up about his suspicion of his lover thinking more about another guy than about him, and the way he licked his lips was telling a whole other story as well.

 

“Are you trying to con me into having sex with you?”

 

“If I were, would it be working?” The man’s eyes were sparkling with mischief and amusement and Novak just had to laugh. “You have half an hour to do whatever you want to me.”

 

“You sure you’re going to last that long?” His voice was challenging, but to his surprise Roger didn’t take the bait.

 

He just lifted an eyebrow and shot back: “Are you going to make me last that long?”

 

Novak smirked as he moved in for a passionate kiss and he was damn certain this would be good, as in, really, _really_ good.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: 
> 
> I'm very sorry, but one of the videos I'd put up for the last chapter has been deleted. I'm not going to try and upload it again, copyright and stuff. It would have been great for you to actually see the scene I described, but I figure it's not absolutely necessary, since it's not really essential to the story. I hope you still enjoy this ^^


	26. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes down the hill, and when Lynette calls Novak he realizes things are even worse than he thought.

 

Watching Roger with his goddaughter qualified as the single most beautiful thing Novak has ever seen in his whole life. He was leaning against the doorframe to the bedroom as his lover slowly walked through the living room, all the while quietly humming and singing to her.

 

_[Row, row, row your boat](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ldvoJe-8WwU), gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream… _

 

[Blue Ivy](http://cdn.necolebitchie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Baby-Blue-Ivy.jpg) nothing but bubbled in joy, all the time reaching up for Roger’s face and Novak couldn’t help but grin when she wrapped her impossibly tiny hands around his finger. He almost didn’t notice when Beyoncé stepped up beside him.

 

“Have you ever considered that?” she asked quietly, though her eyes were stuck with her daughter, just like the young man’s. The baby was so enchanted by her godfather, and God did it make for a beautiful picture.

 

“You mean having children?” Novak asked back just as quietly, but in the end he already knew that this was exactly what her question had been about. He just wanted to buy some time. “You do know I’m gay, right?”

 

“You either want children or you don’t. The rest you can figure out, but the wish is either there or it’s not.”

 

The Serb continued watching his lover with the baby in his arms and couldn’t deny that he was only kidding himself with hesitating to answer the question. “Yeah”, he finally brought out. “I’d love to have children. With him.”

 

Novak didn’t miss the smile on Beyoncé’s lips when the superstar turned her head to look at him. “It’s a beautiful sight, isn’t it?”

 

It wasn’t a question that needed to be answered and they both knew it. During the next few weeks, whenever Roger stayed in the city he was having a concert in and Novak was alone at night, his mind raced back to that moment. The image of Roger holding Blue Ivy in his arms, the baby girl so obviously delighted by his entertainment program, it was what got him through the loneliness, and he couldn’t help but think about seeing his lover hold their own children.

 

He’d never really considered surrogacy or even just adoption, but the more he thought about it during March, the more Novak found himself intrigued by the idea. Having a family with everything it entailed, living together, raising children, and the most beautiful part of it all was Roger and the chance of sharing his life with the man he loved.

 

As wonderful as it sounded, it wasn’t what Novak could imagine happening to him anytime soon. God, he was twenty-four, so not this year and not next year, but with the Swiss, yeah, definitely – he wanted it. Sooner or later.

 

And he had a lot of time on his hands to think about it. After the New York concerts Novak headed to Indian Wells, mostly because there was nothing he could say to Marian without outing them. It was Saturday when Roger finally arrived in Indian Wells as well, but they didn’t get more than a frantic make-out session in his room before he had to leave yet again for his concert in Paradise, which sounded just ironic.

 

They had more nights together than apart, and that was pretty much the only reason why he was able to stand falling asleep alone at all. Novak managed to stay in Indian Wells after his semi-final loss to Isner and, after watching Roger’s match on the TV, he spent the whole night with just making the man feel good.

 

A full-body massage and a lot of great sex later they slept through almost all of Monday, until Roger had to leave again for Phoenix. Novak really wanted to come with him, but his prolonged stay in Indian Wells had come with practice sessions that Marian wouldn’t just drop without reason.

 

He still hadn’t told his coach that he was seeing a man. It wasn’t that he didn’t dare to, but because his current relationship barely came up between them. Novak wasn’t sure what Marian thought, maybe even that it was just a fling and wouldn’t last anyway, and he couldn’t say that he gave the Slovak much reason to think otherwise.

 

Something was still going on, he could feel it, and he really didn’t like it. Roger’s behavior was just off some times, a little too desperate when they finally saw each other again, whereas he’d barely seemed to have missed Novak before. Thankfully there was never a moment when he felt insecure about the Swiss’ feelings towards him, but about the rest he was absolutely clueless.

 

And what really made him wonder was the fact that he hadn’t seen Roger work on any music, period. No writing, no singing, nothing. Okay, so he didn’t expect him to build up a recording studio in his hotel room, not during his world tour, and it wasn’t like Novak was with him on the rare occasions that the older man actually went into a studio.

 

Even without the proper equipment he’d always envisioned Roger to sit down and write, at least from time to time, to free his head, or when he’d just gotten an idea, but there was nothing. All the work he was doing aside his tour seemed to be meant for other artists, and Novak wasn’t sure what to think of that.

 

Was something wrong? He could remember Roger saying in an interview that he usually didn’t spend a single day without at least putting down an idea for a song, maybe even some actual lyrics. So, admittedly, he was very busy with his tour and the tennis, but he had the time to work with other artists, and it wasn’t like there was nothing happening in his life.

 

Novak couldn’t help but feel that he was reason for Roger’s lack of creative output, but he had no idea why that was. Whenever they were together it all felt so good, the sex was beyond amazing, and even when they weren’t together he could feel the bond between them strengthen.

 

Still, something was wrong, and he was getting sick of it. Roger lost early in Miami, and if his next two concerts hadn’t actually taken place in Miami, Novak was pretty sure he would have found himself winning a tournament with no Swiss there to celebrate for the second time that year.

 

This way, though, Roger gave him a beautiful romantic night with champagne and a lot of very sweet love-making. It was so wonderful and Novak couldn’t help but ask if they’d always do something like that if one of them won a tournament, mostly because the night was really damn great and he simply loved every single moment of it. The Swiss just laughed and kissed him, though he’d admittedly seemed quite agreeable.

 

After that night, though, Roger more or less shied away from him, claiming he had to work some things out about his concert two days later and that he needed to leave right away. Novak was pretty dumbfounded when the older man basically just disappeared the morning after his tournament win.

 

A short kiss was all he got before abruptly being left at the beginning of the five weeks until they could see each other again. _Five weeks_. He’d expected a lot, like rough and desperate fucking in the morning, and maybe a lot more of that until lunch, but this?

 

It only got worse when he didn’t hear from Roger for several days. It wasn’t that Novak didn’t try to contact him in return, but the Swiss just didn’t pick up. All he got was a text, telling him that Roger couldn’t make it, not even with what had become something of a signature, Roger calling him ‘ _baby’_ , or at least saying ‘ _Love you’_ at the end.

 

God, if he didn’t know better he would have thought Roger was about to break up with him, but fuck it wasn’t that. Fucking hell, the man loved him, Novak knew that, and he was starting to get pissed off. They could have been so happy at the time, but instead Roger was fighting to keep him away, while he was wracking his brains to figure out what the hell was wrong.

 

There was just no explanation, not a single good one anyway. It was almost cynical that he kept going back to that image of Roger holding Blue Ivy in his arms and longing for that kind of life, while his lover was busy pushing him away. Novak knew that he was getting more and more involved in this, and he couldn’t understand why the man was so resistant. 

 

And really, what if he lost Roger over this in the end?

 

Even during the practice sessions, when usually Novak could blend out anything else, he always thought about what was going on, or really tried to figure out what could possibly be going on that’d explain any of this. Marian caught up with it, of course, but he generously left him alone when he made it clear that he didn’t want to talk.

 

What was there to talk about, anyway? _My lover is acting weird, I can’t really explain it – one moment he’s perfect, the next he doesn’t even answer my calls._ Not very informative.

 

It was almost a week after Roger had hurriedly left him that his cell ranged, an unknown number calling which was almost reason enough to not answer. Something made him pick up, though, and Novak was sure it was one of the best decisions of his life.

 

“Novak?” a familiar female voice said the moment he’d lifted the phone to his ear, and all of a sudden his heart started pounding. “It’s Lynette. We need to talk about Roger.”

 

~~~****~~~

 

Roger knew what depression felt like, he’d been there several times. Deep down he also knew that it was all a circle of feeling depressed and, as a result, withdrawing from pretty much everything but your dark thoughts, which just made you feel even more depressed. The only thing was, he didn’t give a fuck.

 

Knowing that he was stuck in a cycle didn’t change the fact that he just didn’t want to do anything other than lie in his bed and stare into the dark. He didn’t want to see the sun, so he kept the curtains closed. He also didn’t want to talk to anyone, which was why he only left his room for his concerts and came back to the hotel right afterwards.

 

Five weeks. How was he supposed to get through five endless weeks of not seeing his lover? Even talking to him on the phone seemed like torture, hearing Novak’s voice when all he could think about was the fact that it was still an eternity until they could see each other again.

 

The Serb had stayed in Miami for some training sessions, he knew that, but it wasn’t like it would have made a difference if Novak had been in the Arctic. He was simply away, and Roger couldn’t cope with it.

 

He didn’t even want to. Goddamn it, all he really wanted was cancel his concerts, fly back to Miami and just hold his lover, like he was supposed to, all love-sick and smitten as he was. But he _couldn’t_ , and he couldn’t fucking stand that.

 

The desperation was even more overwhelming because he didn’t want to admit it to himself, so he was fighting his longing with his all, and that was just exhausting. Roger refused to talk to anyone, and though his mother was with him all the time, he barely spent time with her.

 

He just wanted to be alone and sulk in his loneliness. The concerts were emotionally grueling, but Roger still didn’t find sleep easily. He kept lying awake, thinking about Novak and trying to stop thinking about Novak, which made him think even more.

 

It all just felt so senseless to him. There he was, having everything he’d ever wanted and it still wasn’t enough. He was living his dreams, and yet all he really longed for was out of reach because of the dream he was living. Why was he doing it, anyway? Would he ever be really happy?

 

And God did he hate himself for shutting Novak out like this. There was no chance the younger man hadn’t caught up with his weird behavior, and the worst thing was that not even that could tear him from his dark mood. All he wanted was to be with his lover, but he couldn’t, and that was pretty much everything that consumed him at the moment.

 

Another problem was the fact that he’d started to realize that, no matter how hard he’d tried to prevent it, he needed Novak. The young man meant the world to him by now, and though he wasn’t sure when that had happened, Roger knew it was longer ago than he liked to think.

 

Maybe he’d never even had a chance to prevent it, and though it didn’t really get him anywhere, Roger was still beating himself up for being so careless with his heart. Again. He knew that Novak was great – God, there was no way he could have missed just how wonderful a man he was for all those years, it just wasn’t possible -, but his insecurities didn’t have anything to do with the Serb.

 

He was a wreck. His life was a mess, a complicated hectic succession of events, and there was more in his past than anyone really knew about. Roger was aware that he wasn’t an easy man, by no means, and he just wasn’t sure Novak could still love him if he knew.

 

It was so beautiful to hear the man say that he loved him, but did Novak even know who _he_ really was? The answer was no, definitely not, and though it hurt to just think that, Roger wasn’t sure he could ever let him know. He wanted to, definitely, but he didn’t think it was fair to put these burdens on Novak’s shoulders. It shouldn’t be his problems.

 

The only problem was, if they were to go all the way, he would have to share it all. The Swiss had seen the way Novak had looked at him as he’d held Blue Ivy in his arms, and though the thought was so damn fucking scary, it also made his heart flutter in his chest.

 

God, it was so much to think about, where he was, what he’d done and what he was about to do, and Roger didn’t even notice as the week went by. It all happened in a blur, the concerts and the travelling between the comfortable lonely darkness of anonymous hotel rooms.

 

A knock on his door startled him. It couldn’t be room service, it was way too late for that. Maybe it was his mother, and it was only that possibility that made him get up from the ground in front of the couch at all. He didn’t bother turning on the lights, what for.

 

He opened the door and got the shock of his life when he suddenly stared right into hazel green eyes.

 

~~~****~~~

 

_“I’m not exactly comfortable calling you without Roger knowing about it, but I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s depressed, Novak. He barely leaves his room aside for his concerts, he hasn’t talked to anyone for days, not even to me, and I’m sure he doesn’t eat either. He misses you, and he needs you, even if he’s fighting it. I know he’s just trying to prevent himself from getting hurt, but he’s hurting, and I just know there’s nothing I can do for him. Which is why I’m calling you.”_

 

The words were echoing in his mind as he watched the door open, and then Novak knew it was true. Roger was so shocked to see him, not pleasantly surprised or even just surprised, he was utterly shocked, like seeing him was the last thing he’d expected in his whole life.

 

It told him so much, and for a moment he wasn’t sure what to do with all of the emotions that hit him like a bolt from the blue. Looking into brown eyes, Novak decided to do the only right thing and direct it back at the source of it all, which happened to stand directly in front of him. _Roger_.

 

A moment later they were all over each other. As much as the older man had been shocked to see him, by the time Novak had him pressed against the wall his feelings seemed to have taken over completely.

 

It was rougher than everything he’d ever done before, but Novak couldn’t make himself stop. He knew which buttons to push, and Roger was so compliant, not even once second-guessing anything they younger man wanted.

 

They kissed again and again, but the Serb couldn’t help but think that they were basically just trying to eat each other alive. He happened to have a condom in his jacket, but if he hadn’t he was damn sure that they would have just fucked without it. The way Roger humped against him and tore at his clothing, it just didn’t seem like he’d be able to stop even if he’d wanted to.

 

They had never dry-fucked before and with the spit Roger used to superficially prepare him and the pre-lubed condom they weren’t then, but there was no way around denying that it hurt like hell when the older man pushed into him not even five minutes after he’d knocked on the door. Novak still pushed back, though. The need inside him and especially the need in Roger that he could feel like it was his own, made him blank out everything else.

 

It was the first time the sex between them wasn’t about love. All that reigned between them was need and Roger didn’t give him much time to get used to his cock inside him, which was very unusual. He did shortly halt in his movements, but Novak had the feeling it was more because he was simply overwhelmed by emotions rather than concern for him.

 

Once the Swiss started moving, though, there was no room for thoughts left. Fuck, it all happened so quickly, Novak felt like he’d just walked down the hotel’s hall, and in the next moment he was desperately spreading his legs for his lover’s ruthless pounding.

 

God, it was so good. The intenseness of it was just shy of burning him alive, but it seemed to be nothing in comparison to Roger. He had never heard the older man _sob_ – actually sob, like he was choking on his tears, but he couldn’t be crying, not really, could he?

 

It fairly sounded like it, but Novak had enough problems with keeping himself upright and from slamming into the wall all too hard. He could tell that Roger was trying to slow down his thrusting, but he didn’t seem to be able to. Novak didn’t know just how little time had passed when he came harshly and it didn’t matter.

 

He could feel Roger spurt into the condom not even a second after him, a massive grunt echoing in the almost complete darkness encasing them. Everything went foggy around him and Novak wasn’t sure how long they stood there. All he could say for sure was that this was by no means the end of it.

 

His cock was still half-hard and he could feel that Roger wasn’t anywhere near spent as well. The emotional rollercoaster was taking its toll and Novak didn’t think twice as he slowly turned around and sank to his knees before Roger could even react.

 

The moment he’d peeled off the condom he took his lover into his mouth, slow and gentle at first, because he didn’t want to ruin this by making it too painful for Roger. Still, once he felt a hand in his hair to hold him while the Swiss pushed in deeper, Novak started sucking in earnest on the once again fully extended erection.

 

With the wall in Novak’s back, Roger didn’t exactly have much choice for support. His fingers dug hard into the Serb’s shoulder and he was sure there’d be marks from the nails for a couple of hours. It didn’t make him stop, though, at least not until he could feel Roger getting closer to the edge.

 

He quickly pulled back and stood up. Roger was on him almost the exact same moment, nibbling and biting on his neck while eagerly thrusting their cocks together. If he hadn’t already been hard again, Novak would have been then.

 

“Condom”, the older man growled, and Novak swallowed at the tone that didn’t exactly leave much room for denial.

 

“O… only the one.”

 

With much more force than necessary Roger dragged him from the wall and towards the bedroom, his grip on Novak’s upper arms uncomfortably hard. It wasn’t so much that he got off on pain, but the desire he could feel in his lover’s every movement made his cock twitch. Holy crap.

 

As if he’d known, a minute later they were fucking again. And again after that. God, Novak didn’t know whether he was coming or going anymore, and it just didn’t stop. They didn’t look at each other, which wasn’t so surprising since they’d still been enwrapped in darkness the first couple of times.

 

And even after Novak had turned on the lamp on the bedside table, Roger refused to really look at him. The times between fucking were getting longer, but that was mostly because not even the Swiss could keep going at that rate for too long. They both needed more time after an orgasm to return their breathing back to normal, but once they had, Roger started kissing him before Novak could even open his mouth.

 

It wasn’t that he minded. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough of Roger that night and he loved how clingy the man was, how devoted he was in turning Novak on again and again. The only problem was, they had to talk, and he wouldn’t let it go again. Not this time.

 

 


	27. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Novak tries desperately to figure out what's been going on, so there's a lot of talking in this one.

 

It was late at night when Novak was comfortable lying on his side. He could feel Roger’s body close to him, though they weren’t touching. His eyes were closed, but his mind was very much alert and there was no way he could miss the strain in his lover’s body, despite their intense and exhausting fucking.

 

Something was definitely wrong, and Novak was definitely tired of this. While he was still trying to find the right words to confront Roger about his behavior, the Swiss man started moving underneath the covers. He obviously tried to be quiet as he scooted away from him, thinking Novak was already asleep, and though he wasn’t exactly sneaking out, it was damn close.

 

Novak opened his eyes and silently watched his lover sit on the side of the bed, bent forward as he was leaning with his elbows on his knees. They were both completely motionless, only that the Serb was supposed to be asleep while Roger didn’t seem to be able to stand his closeness.

 

“So”, Novak eventually spoke up, making it clear that he was very much awake. He didn’t see the older man flinch, but he simply knew that the man was only so far from just standing up and walking away. “Are we going to talk about this, because if not, you might want to tell me to leave. You can’t exactly run from your own hotel room.”

 

Silence was all he got, but at least Roger was still there when Novak sat up, unconsciously moving a bit closer to his lover. “You don’t trust me, Roger, I already know that. What I don’t get is, why?”

 

“Why do you think I don’t…?” The first words he’d heard the man say in a week, and it almost killed Novak how dark and lifeless his voice sounded.

 

“I was training and practicing in Miami, when I get a call from your mother – not from you, but from your mother -, to tell me that you’re close to breaking. You wanted, you needed to see me, yet it wasn’t you who called me. Now, tell me again that you trust me when you don’t even trust me enough to tell me when you feel like crap.”

 

He kind of expected Roger to go defensive on him, to try to tell him that he didn’t want to bother him, didn’t want to disturb his practice, but the silence told Novak that they were beyond that bullshit by now. The young Serb just wasn’t sure whether that was a good or a bad sign.

 

“You know what I don’t get?” he asked after a few moments when it was clear Roger wasn’t going to answer him, wasn’t even going to look at him. “I’m aware that I basically forced you into this relationship, but after I did, it was you who introduced me to Jay and Bey on our first day together. You did _Halo_ , you kissed me in front of your crew at your tour premier, you invited me to your house over Christmas. You wanted me to come along to dinner at your parents’ house. So why the fuck can’t you even look at me right now?”

 

His voice had gone up and Novak knew he was losing it, but he couldn’t help it. He was tired of staring at Roger’s back, not knowing if his words even reached him. The silence was killing him. Yet, when he spoke up again, it was quiet, gentle.

 

“Roger, please…” The reaction was immediate, and only because Novak had basically waited for it all the time was he fast enough to grab the Swiss’ wrist, stopping him from getting away from the bed. “Fucking hell, don’t do this”, he whispered. “Don’t just walk out on me, Roger.” He tightened his grip, hoping it wasn’t just hard, but also reassuring: “If you need me, why is it so hard for you to tell me?”

 

“That’s the whole point, isn’t it?” Without a warning Roger broke free from his grasp, adding as he picked up his pants: “I don’t want to need you.” A second later he was out of the bedroom, door closing behind him with a quiet thud.

 

All Novak could do was stare after him, the last words echoing in his mind. _I don’t want to need you._ God, what the fuck was he supposed to do with that? Worse than his lack of understanding was Roger’s disappearing. Novak couldn’t help the cold shudder at the thought that this, for whatever reasons, might just be their first – and last – big fight.

 

He jumped out of bed and quickly picked up his own jeans, not giving a damn if someone should see him, or them – all he knew was that he couldn’t just let Roger go. Novak hurried over to the door and tore it open, ready to race out of the hotel room when he came to a screeching halt.

 

The older man was sitting right there on the couch, in almost exactly the same position he’d sat in on the bed, elbows on his knees, head hanging low. The lights were finally on, too, and Novak had never been as relieved as in that moment, realizing that Roger had not just walked out on him.

 

The Serb didn’t get to dwell in that for too long, though. His lover – God, he had to force himself to not think that over and over again, like a mantra – was obviously nervous. He fiddled with his fingers, something he had never seen Roger do before. Ever.

 

The man just wasn’t nervous, not this way, and on top of that there was even a hint of fear mixed into the nervousness. Novak didn’t know how he knew, but he did, and it was almost too much to bear.

 

“Talk to me”, he said into the loudness of the silence around them, not caring if the desperation was all obvious in his voice. “Roger, please. I don’t… I don’t get it.”

 

It was the first time since he’d arrived that Roger risked a glance at him, short and not quite meeting his eyes, but it was a start. It was _something_.

 

“Do you think you know me, Novak?”

 

Novak blinked. Twice. “Y… Yeah. I think I do. Why do you…?”

 

“Because I don’t think you do.” Roger sighed heavily and buried his face in his hands, and all of this became even more cryptic than it already was.

 

“What are you talking about, Roger? Fine, I may not know about every little detail about your life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what kind of man you are. There’s nothing that would change what I think about you.”

 

“Are you so sure about that?” This time brown orbs didn’t avoid his gaze, and what he saw took Novak’s breath away.

 

He tried to sound neutral, but the young man couldn’t keep the emotions out of his voice, not completely. There was something about this moment, about the doubt he could see in Roger’s eyes, that was about to tear his heart apart, and Novak couldn’t stand it.

 

“Why do you keep trying to push me away?” For a second it seemed like Roger wanted to object, opening his mouth to say something, but his words never came out. Novak added: “Do you really think there’s anything I could learn about you that would make me love you less?”

 

“What if there is?”

 

_That_ was finally what this was all about and the Serb was just so far from screaming out loud, because seriously, how fucked up was this. He knew enough about Roger’s past to understand why he was careful, but having been so blind all this time, that was taking it to a new height.

 

“For fuck’s sakes, have you killed someone?” Annoyance mixed with confusion flashed over Roger’s face and Novak grunted. “I take that as a no? Well, good, because then, yes, I’m sure that there isn’t anything.”

 

“Nole…”

 

“Why the fuck is that so hard to believe, Roger? It’s almost like you’re purposely trying to find a way to keep me at arm’s length, and I don’t get why. Why on earth…?”

 

“Because I’m careful. Because I don’t want you to find out that I’m not good enough when I’ve already…” Roger stopped himself from going on, but his outburst made Novak move without thinking. He walked over to the couch and sat on the table across his lover, gently taking Roger’s face between his hands.

 

“When you’ve already what, Roger?” Novak’s heart was tight when he realized that brown orbs were full of tears, and even if none had fallen yet, he still stroked softly over his cheeks. “Tell me.”

 

They looked at each other for several long seconds, neither of them moving aside Novak’s thumbs gently caressing the older man’s skin. He had a feeling about where this was going, and it was making it impossible for him not to touch Roger, needing to feel him even more than he needed to breathe.

 

“Roger, please. Talk to me.”

 

Brown eyes closed, and eventually the Swiss whispered: “I don’t want to lose you when I’ve already lost my heart to you.”

 

“So, all this time, you’ve been trying to keep some distance between us, so that it wouldn’t hurt that much if I left you again after a couple of months?”

 

“Something like that, yeah.” Roger glanced at him and it was all Novak could do to not kiss him right then and never let go of him again, but he managed to restrict himself.

 

Instead, he asked: “Did it work?”

 

It wasn’t exactly a smirk that came up on Roger’s lips, but it was close and it made Novak sigh. At least he’d gotten the reaction he’d hoped for.

 

“Okay, listen, Roger. Just listen for a moment, alright? Please.” The Swiss looked at him for a moment before nodding in agreement. “God knows I’m not an expert in relationships, and what I’m about to say is probably a little too much, but I think you need to hear it. And maybe it’s time I say it.”

 

Novak hesitated for a moment before going on. There were reasons why he hadn’t brought this up before, the main one being that they weren’t even half a year into this relationship. Also, he was admittedly nervous. You didn’t say things like that easily, and a part of him had always been afraid it’d only scare Roger away.

  
Now, though, he was almost certain that it was the right thing to do. Novak didn’t want Roger to doubt how deep he was already into this himself, and even if it meant taking a huge risk, the Swiss man was more than worth it.

 

“Do you have any idea about how long I’ve been in love with you, Roger?” Placing a thumb over his lips, Novak didn’t let him answer. “I fell for you more than two years before I told you, and I don’t mean that I had a crush on you. I’m talking about having been in love with you, deeply, long before we got together, and that’s why it’s ridiculous that you’re sitting here, trying to keep your distance from me. I _love_ you, Roger, with everything that I have. If one of us should be afraid of losing the other, it’s me.”

 

“Nole…”

 

“Let me finish, please.” Novak moved to gently stroke through his lover’s hair with his fingers. “You don’t want to know how often I cried myself to sleep, thinking I’d never get to do this.” He leaned in for a loving kiss, not surprised when a little tear fell from brown orbs. He wiped it away and went on. “As I said, I _know_ there’s nothing you could do, or could have done, that’d make me love you any less. You don’t have to protect your heart, Roger, not from me. I’ve given you mine a long time ago.”

 

“Why?” Roger was shrugging helplessly. “Why, Novak? What do you see in me?”

 

Lowering his head, it was all the Serb could do to not burst out laughing. He was grinning, though, when he lifted his head again, glancing at Roger with all the amusement that his question was conjuring up.

 

“How about we make a deal?” When his lover lifted an eyebrow, prompting him to go on, Novak explained: “Look, I’m definitely not an expert in relationships, but even I know that there’s some things you don’t talk about after only a couple of months together. So, how about we make the deal that, for tonight, we can tell each other everything, but how do you say, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?”

 

“So, what we say tonight we won’t have said in the morning?”

 

They both smiled at each other, and just that was already enough to take that damn weight off Novak’s chest. They were okay. Thank God. “Yeah. Like that.”

 

“Okay. Let’s be honest.”

 

Now that the moment was there, the young Serb couldn’t exactly claim that it was easy. This was so huge. He’d never said words like this out loud before, not to anyone. Not even to his mother.

 

Taking a deep breath, Novak started: “I’m positive I told you a while ago that I’ve been in love with you for quite some time before we came together. I also told you that I didn’t spend all of my time thinking about you with jerking off.”

 

Roger smirked. “I remember, yeah.”

 

“Well, in fact I thought a lot about you. I thought about a life with you, outside of tennis, _after_ tennis.”

 

Brown eyes widened in astonishment and Novak knew that he got what this was about, where he was going with this. Still, he pressed on, needing to get it out, now that he’d already started.

 

“If you asked me why I fell in love with you, good God, I don’t know. There isn’t a single reason, rather a million.” Novak smiled when the older man looked more incredulous with every moment that passed. “There’s nothing about you that I don’t love, Roger. I love you for what you did and still do in tennis, how much you changed the sport. I love your dedication, for tennis, for music, and I love how much energy and passion you put into your charity work. I love all of that and more, but what I love most is the kind of person you are. You’re kind, generous and still so incredibly humble. You’re the most beautiful person I know, honest, reliable. You’re always there when someone you love needs you. You’re the most dedicated person I know, and by God you’re also the damn sexiest man I’ve ever met. You…”

 

“Okay, okay, I get it”, Roger interrupted him and chuckled at his words, but it was breathless, closer to a sob really. Novak smirked.

 

“You don’t want more details?”

 

“I’m not sure I can take it.”

 

The half-smirk on the man’s lips was adorable and Novak leaned in for a long gentle kiss, holding Roger’s head between his hands even though he didn’t show any sign of retreating. “I’ll tell you one day, you know that, right?”

 

“I think I might get emotional on you.”

 

“And I think I’ll be fine with that.” Novak just couldn’t hold back his laugh as he moved in to kiss Roger on his cheek softly. His heart leaped when the man leaned into his touch. “Want to hear another truth?”

 

“I guess tonight’s the night.”

 

“Maybe it’s my fault, you know, the fact that I haven’t told you this sooner, but I’m in this for the long run, Roger.” The Serb planted a soft kiss on his lover’s lips. “Whenever I think about us and where this might go, I’m thinking about forever. I’m far from being able to say that out loud, at least outside of tonight, but I want you to know. I want this. I want it all.”

 

A moment of silence passed between them and even if Roger didn’t say anything, Novak still understood that he needed to know what exactly he meant, what _it all_ included for him.

 

“Listen, Roger, because I’m not going to say this again anytime soon. I’m gay, and though I don’t regret a damn thing about my life, I’m very aware that there’s one thing that I can’t have, not really, when I’ll be older. When I’m thinking about where I’ll be in my life in one, two, five, ten years, you are there. Always.”

 

_God, I’m an idiot_ , Novak inwardly cursed himself. He knew he was beating around the bush, but he couldn’t help it. These words were so damn hard to say, but he could see the cracks in Roger’s walls, which alone made it all worth it.

 

“What I’m trying to say here, I want a family. With you.” The young man sighed quietly. “I want it all, Roger, marriage, children, a shared home. I have no idea about how we’ll do any of that, but I want it. Saying that out loud is already hard enough, I don’t want to discuss details. Just… I just want you to know, I want these things. Some day. With you, and only with you.”

 

Lowering his hands from Roger’s face, Novak gently wrapped his fingers around his fists. He had a lump in his throat as he just waited for the older man to say something, not knowing what else he could possibly add to that.

 

It was all out now, and only Roger could know if he wanted these things, too. God, Novak hoped he did. Had it been a mistake to say these things after all? Was it too soon? What if…

 

“I swear to God, if you hurt me…” Roger’s voice cut through his musings all of a sudden and Novak jumped slightly. The Swiss finally looked up at him again, seeming to be unable to finish his sentence, but he didn’t have to.

 

Novak gasped at the storm of emotions in brown orbs, but before he had the chance to say something, Roger added with much more desperation in his voice than the Serb wanted to hear ever again: “I knew I wanted these things right from the start, but I kept on trying to protect myself. It’s just, I was too blind to see that it was already too late. It’s too late. I already love you more than I ever planned to. So, again, if you hurt me…”

 

“I won’t.” And this time, for the first time that they were discussing their emotions, Roger’s eyes didn’t shut down. For the first time in their relationship, all that flashed up in these gorgeous dark depths was the hope that, maybe, it could be the truth. “I will never hurt you, Roger. Just the thought of losing you…”

 

He didn’t go on when Roger moved in to kiss him in what was only a short feathery touch of lips, but Novak was beside himself with joy anyway. They waited for a moment before moving in for another kiss, this one only a bit longer. It went on like that for a while, and somehow the young man felt as if they were kissing for the first time again.

 

God, he didn’t even want to think about what exactly they had just told each other, simply because all the meaning behind it was making it almost unbearable. Living together, marriage, children, starting a family – all these things seemed to be so far away in that moment. Novak was still so young, not even twenty-five, not to mention the fact that he was just at the start of his first real relationship.

 

And yet, at the same time, all of this felt so incredibly good. With Roger by his side, everything they’d just talked about was within reach like it had never been before. Novak found himself wanting that kind of life more than ever, though it wasn’t what he wanted most. That was the Swiss himself, but a life with him was his most sacred dream and God was it beautiful to know that Roger wanted these things too. 


	28. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some more talking in this one, as well as other stuff, you know.

 

They didn’t care about time as they sat there in the living room, just kissing and touching the other with all the love both were feeling. The moment was magical, and Novak couldn’t help but think that there’d never been this much love between them before, raw and unguarded like Roger had never really allowed it before.

 

Something was changing between them. Whatever distance Roger had managed to keep from him, it was vanishing, Novak could tell. There was so much gentleness in the way the man was touching him, and when Roger finally stood up, he gently pulled Novak with him.

 

His arms were around the Serb’s waist as they kissed all the way back into the bedroom, where Roger slowly laid him down, neither of them caring that they were still partly dressed. Soft lips ghosted over his skin, carefully like he was made of glass, fragile and vulnerable. Novak felt like crying, that was how beautiful, how perfect it all was, the back and forth of little gestures, touches and kisses.

 

“I don’t want this night to end”, he whispered against Roger’s neck after a while, peppering little kisses on the skin there. “This feels so good.” 

 

“Yeah, it does.” Roger’s warm hand on his neck moved up to gently stroke through his hair. “This agreement of ours, it’s good for the whole night, yeah?”

 

“Until the sun rises”, Novak confirmed and leaned back to lay his head on the pillow that they were sharing. He let his finger tips move over the older man’s neck, right where his lips had been seconds ago. He couldn’t get enough of doing that, of touching Roger, of kissing him, and there were no words to describe how happy he was in that moment.

 

“So, you are the marrying kind, huh?” It was as if Roger was a different man. He had a beautiful smile on his face, eyes sparkling with joy and happiness all the time. Otherwise he was completely relaxed, and Novak wouldn’t mind seeing him like this much more often.

 

“So are you, or am I wrong?” he gave back, already knowing he was right.

 

“You’re definitely right.” The Swiss chuckled quietly, hand moving to his cheek. “Speaking of our agreement, maybe I should tell you a few things about me as well.”

 

“You don’t have to.” And Novak meant that. It wasn’t like Roger hadn’t already admitted to wanting the same as he did, he didn’t have to elaborate.

 

“I want to.” Roger smiled lovingly at him, but then became more serious as he shook his head slightly. “I was an idiot. I’m… I’m sorry. Really, I am.”

 

“It’s okay, baby”, Novak reassured his lover, leaning in for a long kiss. “It’s okay. It’s not like I ever doubted your feelings for me. I was just confused, I guess.”

 

“Well, that’s good. By the way, do you have any idea of just how freaking hard you made this all for me?” Roger chuckled when Novak lifted an eyebrow. “I was trying to keep myself from falling even harder for you than I already had, and you kept on doing all these wonderful things.”

 

“Really”, Novak couldn’t help the smirk on his lips at the words. “Did I?”

 

“Oh yes.” There was a warm smile on the older man’s face that almost made Novak’s heart melt away. “Whenever we were together, there was never a moment that you didn’t make me love you more. It’s the way you look at me with your beautiful eyes, the way you touch me. Just really everything you do.”

 

“Is that why you didn’t want to see me before Dubai?”

 

A look of sadness flashed through Roger’s eyes, and Novak almost regretted that he’d mentioned that. Before he could take it back, though, the Swiss answered: “Somehow, yeah. I needed to prove to myself that I could go without you, that I could resist the temptation of seeing you sooner than we’d planned.”

  
“And it worked.”

 

“No”, Roger said to his surprise. “No, it didn’t.”

 

“But…”

 

“I wanted to prove to myself that I didn’t need you, but when I opened the door of my room that night and you were there, I knew that I had only been kidding myself. I needed you. I wanted nothing more than to see you again, and only because I managed to drown myself in work doesn’t mean I had proven that I could go without you.”

 

These words felt so good that Novak couldn’t even speak for a moment. His throat was tight, seeing the truthfulness of his words in Roger’s eyes. It was astonishing to have someone say things like that to you, and for the second time this night he felt like crying. God.

 

“I’ve thought about retirement a lot, Novak”, Roger said and tore him from his storm of emotions. “From tennis, that is. I didn’t want to, not really, but I found myself thinking about what I want in my life once I’ve hung up my racket for good.”

 

The Serb waited for him to go on, but for a while they were both silent. Brown eyes were calmly studying his features, thumb caressing Novak’s cheek. Eventually he asked: “And?”

 

“It’s always you”, Roger replied without hesitance, like he didn’t think there was any doubt left about it. “There’s some things about my music I consider, like another world tour, things I want to do, people I want to work with, but that varies. That’s negotiable and depends on a lot of things. Having you by my side, though, is the one thing that’s not up for debate. I don’t want to be without you. Never.”

 

Novak moved closer and slinked his arm around Roger’s waist, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. They’d already been there, had already talked about this, but the words still made his heart flutter in his chest.

 

“I wouldn’t hesitate to hang up my racket right now if you asked me to, Novak.”

 

The soft kiss pressed into his hair made him realize that he hadn’t just dreamed that, even though it still felt like that. Roger couldn’t just have said that. He couldn’t have. These words… Good God, was there any way to love the man more than he did right then? Novak leaned back to look at the Swiss, but all he could see in his brown eyes was seriousness, confirming that he’d really meant that.

 

It was just, Roger _couldn’t_ be serious. Novak would never…

 

“I’d never ask that from you”, he finally retorted vigorously, simply because he wouldn’t. He knew how much the sport meant to Roger, and he’d never demand for him to give that up. Never.

 

“I know.” Roger smiled softly at his fervid reply. “This is what I’m about, though. I’m in this for good, Novak, and I’d give up everything to make you happy, to not lose you. That’s why I didn’t want to fall for you so fast. I love you so much, and for me there’s nothing more important in my life than you. And you have no idea of how scary it is for me to accept that.”

 

“I do”, Novak whispered with a breathy chuckle on his lips and he just had to close his eyes for a moment. “I know very well how scary that is.”

 

They shared a smile that said it all. Novak could see it in Roger’s eyes that they were both aware of the deep sense of understanding and belonging between them in that moment, like he himself had never felt it before.

 

“There’s something else”, the older man said after a while, his hand moving to lie against the side of Novak’s neck. He wasn’t quite looking at him, instead watching his thumb stroking along his jaw. “Mirka and I have talked about surrogacy a long time ago.”

 

The Serb blinked, needing a moment to really comprehend that, but when he did Novak couldn’t help but smile. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

 

Roger looked him in the eyes, obviously surprised at his easy reaction. “What doesn’t surprise you, the fact that I want to be a father or that Mirka is willing to help me with that?”

 

“Both”, Novak smiled. “I never doubted that you had thought about children at some point. You’re a born father.”

 

The Swiss shrugged, but it was in his eyes that this comment didn’t leave him totally unfazed. “We’ll see, I guess. I just always wanted children, and when Mirka and I met it was just perfect. And I’m so thankful that she stayed in my life even when things didn’t work out.”

 

Novak lifted an eyebrow. “You two actually dated?”

 

“Back in 2000, for about half a year maybe. We just got along really great, and for a while I actually thought she could be the one.” Roger shrugged again. “We were too different, though.”

 

“She gave up her career to be there for you”, Novak remarked carefully, not knowing how much truth really was in his words. “She’s been coming along to every tournament since I can remember.”

 

“Mirka loves the travelling almost as much as I do, and I’m not saying that I don’t love her. She’s been one of my closest friends for over ten years, and I wouldn’t want to miss her by my side. I don’t know if I could have done any of this without her support. It’s just, we needed a while to realize that close friends would be everything that’s possible between us. There was no spark, no magic.” Roger’s smile became soft and loving as he added: “I can’t say I ever missed her so much that it almost drove me crazy.”

 

Novak couldn’t help the smug grin on his face, a silly and childish broad grin as he knew, but seeing Roger laugh at his expression before leaning in for a short kiss really made it worth it.

 

“Unlike me”, the Serb smirked, prompting Roger to laugh even harder.

 

“How the hell do you even make it through the doors with that big ego of yours?”  The Swiss didn’t let him answer as he moved in for a hot demanding kiss, making Novak moan deep in his throat.

 

“Doesn’t seem like you mind”, he gasped when Roger pulled back, leaving him completely breathless. “Fuck, kiss me again. Just like that.”

 

With a soft chuckle Roger did as he’d asked, maybe kissing him even more passionately than before. Novak heard himself whimper, though he didn’t find it in himself to mind. These damn talented lips were driving him insane and he mewled when the older man broke the kiss again, just to nibble on his jaw a moment later.

 

“Tell me what you want, Nole”, a warm gentle voice whispered into his ear, causing Novak to smile.

 

“Regarding right now, the next couple of days, or…?”

 

Roger lifted his head to grin at him. “Let’s start short term.”

 

“Get rid of these damn jeans.”

 

There was that brilliant smirk again, but the eagerness with which Roger complied was saying it all. “That’s very short term.”

 

“So what?” Novak laughed and helped Roger to get his pants out of the way too. “Though I could go on about, let’s say, the next fifteen minutes, if right now is too short term for you.”

 

“Fifteen, huh?” The Swiss lifted an eyebrow. “You insisting on that ten-minute-nap or what?”

 

He shoved the older man in the side and growled, but all Novak got was another laughter. It wasn’t like he minded when Roger started to kiss him some more, whispering against his lips: “One more thing.”

 

“And what’s that?”

 

“I’m a dog kind of person.” Roger lifted his eyes and looked at him as he took Novak’s bottom lip between his teeth, eyes burning with desire as he pulled gently. “I don’t really care if you want cats or something, but I really am into dogs.”

 

“Fucking hell, you can have whatever you want, if only you stop talking right now”, Novak groaned and involuntarily thrust his hips up into Roger’s, at least getting him to moan too. “See, feels good, doesn’t it. Now shut up and fuck me.”

 

“Are we still talking short term here?”

 

“No, this is actually _very_ long term”, Novak smirked at his lover. “I can’t really imagine me ever getting tired of this.”

 

“So, long term, you want me to fuck you?”

 

“Long term I want you in my life, through good and bad, and as long as you are up to it, that sure as hell includes sex.”

 

Roger actually looked like he’d just told him he still believed in Santa and Novak couldn’t stop himself from throwing his back and laughing, loud and heartily and God did it feel good. He loved this. He loved this so damn fucking much that it was almost too good to be true.

 

“God, I love you”, he smiled and easily followed Roger when he moved off him, ending up on top of the Swiss, who just glared up at him. “Are you pouting?”

 

“What do you think, Djokovic?” the man grumbled. “Get off me.”

 

Novak smiled lovingly. “I love you, baby, and I’m a dog person too.” His voice went dark as he added: “And now get over it and fuck me.”

 

“Oh, all of a sudden”, Roger snorted. “I’m not sure you’re aware, but you just really ruined the mood and… hmph…”

 

The Serb didn’t let him go on as he brought their lips together for a deep kiss. His tongue glided into Roger’s mouth as he maneuvered them around on the bed again, which wasn’t so hard since Roger finally gave up his resistance. Novak moaned as he pulled Roger up a bit more, until they fit together perfectly and he could easily wrap his legs around his waist, squeezing tightly to get a groan out of his lover.

 

“You wanna go on pouting or not?” he mumbled against sexy lips once they’d broken apart. If the fire in Roger’s eyes was any indication, the way Novak was offering himself to him was having just the effect on him that he’d hoped for and he couldn’t help but smirk as he reached for a condom. “Didn’t think so.”

 

He’d kind of expected Roger to just take the bait and fuck him, but the Swiss was far from stupid. Instead of taking the condom and accepting Novak’s very obvious offer, Roger took his time preparing him, and God was it enough preparation for a whole lifetime.

 

“Goddamn it, Roger”, he grunted when one of these elegant long fingers grazed his prostate for what felt like the thousandth time. “I take it back, okay? You’re doing just perfect, and now, fucking hell, stop teasing.”

 

“Say please.”

 

Novak’s eyes snapped open and he stared at the smirking man above him. He’d said it before, almost naturally, but this was different and they both knew it. Before he could reply anything, though, Roger twisted his fingers inside him yet again and this time Novak nothing but cried out because of it.

 

His whole body reared up and then he burst out: “ _Fuck_ , please. Please, Roger. Please, fuck me. Please. God, fuck you, please. Please…”

 

The rest of his mumbling was lost in their simultaneous groans when the Swiss pushed into him, a little too impatient to make it completely painless for Novak even with the thorough preparation. It was exactly what they both needed and Novak let himself sink back into the mattress, eyes closed as he relished the much more satisfying feel of Roger’s cock moving in and out of him instead of his fingers.

 

He faintly heard himself whisper encouragements in Serbian, English, Italian and whatever else came up in his mind, and sometimes he heard Roger reply, his voice rough as he punctuated his words with hard thrusts. Novak dug his fingers into the lower part of his lover’s back, right where he could feel the muscles move as Roger made love to him.

 

It was over too quick, but that wasn’t new to Novak. He never felt like this moment could last long enough, this storm of emotions, the desire and pleasure combined with pure love, but this time it was especially bittersweet. 

 

This was perfection throughout and more than ever before Novak felt like they were one. There was nothing in between them, and the words Roger whispered into his ear only deepened that feeling.

 

His eyes opened and for a while Novak just watched Roger’s face above him, his pleasure written across the features as he moved perfectly inside him, hitting all the right places.

 

“Open your eyes for me, baby”, the Serb eventually whispered, his voice raspier than he’d ever heard it. Brown depths were almost swallowed up from the pupils and Novak heard himself moan, the sight almost enough to make him come right then.

 

He moved up for a long kiss and not before he heard Roger groan loudly did he realize that he was dragging his nails along his back, probably hard enough to leave marks. They looked at each other again, but all he could see was endless desire and Novak found himself lifting his hands to Roger’s shoulders, starting a new line of scratch marks.

 

The older man threw his head back in pleasure and moaned again, and after a couple more sharp thrusts Novak was coming, Roger following him over the brink not even a second later.

 

For a while all that could be heard in the room was fast and shallow gasping. Roger’s head was on his chest, though he somehow managed to fully support his own weight, giving Novak the much needed chance to regain his self-control. His legs had fallen onto the bed sometime, the muscles too tired to keep them around his lover’s waist any longer.

 

“Holy crap”, were the first words after a mind-splitting orgasm and Novak needed a moment to realize that he was the one who’d said them. He knew that Roger was smirking without having to see it. “I really don’t know how you’re going to do it, but I can’t wait for you to top this. _That_ was amazing.”

 

“And here I thought I was hitting the age button?”

 

Novak groaned. “I didn’t say that and you know it. And, even if I somehow did, maybe, from my most recent experience, I admit that I might have been wrong. You happy now?”

 

“Oh yeah, very happy”, Roger finally lifted his head to smile down at him. “How couldn’t I be?”

 

Novak returned the smile before reaching up the same moment the Swiss leaned down, their lips meeting in a hot yet gentle kiss. It was all so damn fucking perfect and all of a sudden Novak couldn’t hold back his laugh anymore, causing Roger to break away from him to quirk an eyebrow.

 

He just laughed harder, though. It finally caught up to him that they were there, head over heels in love with each other and with a bright and real future lying right in front of them. God.

 

“What?” Roger asked, obviously not getting why his lover was currently cracking up, though there was also amusement in his eyes.

 

“Nothing”, Novak shook his head and moved up for a kiss. “Nothing, it’s just… God, I love you so much.” He chuckled at the confusion flashing across Roger’s face. “You make me so happy, Rog. I love you, and I just really want to stand upon a mountain and scream it out loud for the whole damn world to hear.”

 

Now the older man had to laugh as well. “I can’t imagine your parents being okay with finding out that way”, Roger smiled amusedly. “Though I could definitely live with it.”

 

“I’ll do it”, Novak said enthusiastically. “You want me to?”

 

Roger was still laughing when he leaned down for another long kiss before whispering: “What I want is for you to stay here as long as you can, and then I want to spend as little time without you as possible. Think you can do that?”

 

Novak needed a moment to realize that this was the first time that Roger had bluntly stated what he wanted him to do, admitting to hoping to see him as much as possible without so much as hesitating. It was even more wonderful considering the path they had taken to get there.

 

“You don’t have to ask me to do that”, he smiled, his heart tight with love and affection. “I hate being apart from you just as much.”

 

“How long can you stay here?”

 

“I’m all yours tomorrow, but the next morning I have to get back to Miami. Marian didn’t give me more than three days.”

 

“Okay”, Roger whispered and kissed him again, though it was obvious that he didn’t like the thought of having to let Novak go again so soon.

 

“Believe me, I want to stay here more than anything else.”

 

“No, it’s okay”, the Swiss sighed. “One whole days is better than nothing.”

 

“One day and two nights”, Novak corrected and lovingly smiled at Roger. “And this time, when it’s becoming too much, I want you to tell me.”

 

With a helpless shrug his lover asked: “What good is telling you that I miss you when I know you can’t do anything about it?”

 

“I want to know when you feel bad, Roger, because I want to have the chance to make you feel better, whether we can manage to see each other or not”, Novak argued, not at all liking the bitterness in the man’s voice. “I want you to talk to me, about the good, the bad, everything. And I don’t want you to ever hesitate to call me again, do you understand? At any time. Whenever you need me.”

 

After a few seconds Roger nodded, his brown eyes watching him intently. “Okay”, he eventually whispered. “I’ll try.”

 

Novak smiled again, appreciating the honest answer more than anything else. “That’s all I want”, he said and kissed Roger again. They finally moved from their current position, quickly disposing the condom and cleaning up a bit, just to cuddle back up again beneath the covers a minute later. It didn’t take long for them to fall into a dreamless sleep, arms tightly wrapped around each other.

 


	29. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lynette comes over the next morning and is relieved to find that everything has worked out.

 

When her son’s hotel room door opened and hazel green eyes were there to greet her, Lynette almost heaved a loud sigh. It was almost noon and apparently Novak had just come out of the shower. His hair was still damp and he was holding a towel in his hand, wearing a t-shirt that most definitely belonged to her son, but that wasn’t what made her feel so immensely relieved.

 

He was still there, which meant that Roger and he must have talked things out the night before, and from the content look on the Serb’s face and the ever present smile she just knew it had all worked out.

 

“Good morning”, she greeted and walked past Novak when he opened the door further to invite her in.

 

“Good morning”, the man gave back. “Roger’s still in the shower.”

 

“A-ha.” With a smirk Lynette noticed the faint shade of red on Novak’s cheeks, though she didn’t say anything. It was just too cute. Still, she kept looking at the man until eventually she asked quietly: “Is everything okay?”

 

Novak only nodded, but it was enough. The rest of what he wasn’t saying was in his eyes, and Lynette was just so damn glad that she had gone with her gut and had called the Serb.

 

She smiled at the young man. “Thank you.”

 

“For what?” Novak asked back, obviously surprised by her reaction.

 

“For coming here. For being there for my son. I appreciate it.”

 

“You really don’t have to thank me for that.”

 

“You interrupted your training session and flew a couple thousand miles, I actually think I do”, Lynette smiled and offered Novak one of the Starbuck coffees she was carrying. “I hope it’s got enough sugar and cream. Roger told me how you like it.”

 

The Serb blinked, but then there was a broad grin and he easily accepted the cup with a simple ‘Thanks’. She could definitely see why Roger loved that smile so much. They moved to the couch, where Lynette put the rest of breakfast on the table, different kinds of croissants and other pastries.

 

“How long can you stay?”

 

“Tomorrow morning”, Novak said and from the tone of his voice the Swiss woman knew that he didn’t want to leave as much as she didn’t want him to go. Whatever Roger and he had gone through the night before, she supposed it was still fragile. Her son had tried to push Novak away for so long, he would simply need a while to wrap his head around this. “I never thanked you for calling me, by the way. So, thank you.”

 

Lynette looked up in surprise, but the look in expressive eyes made it clear that he was very serious about this. She shrugged. “I’m just glad you two worked things out.”

 

“How do you…?”

 

“Your smile gave you away, and also the mere fact that you’re still here.”

 

“Fair enough”, Novak grinned, undoubtedly very happy.

 

“What’s fair enough?” They looked into the direction of where the voice had come from, just in time to watch Roger close the last two buttons of his black shirt. Her son was, thank God, smiling and it really took that last remaining weight off her shoulders.

 

There had still been one thing she’d been hesitant to find out. She knew that Roger didn’t like it when anyone ran interference with his life, especially his love life, and she could understand that. He was thirty, after all, and fairly capable of living his own life, and it wouldn’t have surprised Lynette if he’d been mad at her.

 

But Roger wasn’t. They looked at each other for a moment and the little nod was all the ‘Thank you’ she had hoped for. He looked at his lover a moment later, a broad smirk coming up on his lips and Lynette couldn’t help but glance at Novak. It was all she could do to not burst out laughing.

 

There was no doubt that the young man appreciated what he was seeing, but when she looked back at Roger, the Swiss woman almost gasped. Brown depths were full of love and affection, but also a deep longing and desire as he was looking at Novak, all these deep emotions Roger hadn’t even allowed himself to feel before.

 

And now it was all around him. Maybe she was wrong, maybe her son didn’t actually need time to accept his feelings for Novak. Maybe he’d already done that a long time ago, and finally didn’t bother suppressing it anymore.

 

Novak was aware of it, too, though he obviously tried not to react to it all that much. His cheeks were slightly red again, though, and it was in his eyes that he wouldn’t really mind if the two of them were alone in that moment. Roger seemed to have similar thoughts.

 

“I was just telling Novak that his smile gave away that you two worked things out last night”, the woman eventually explained the situation from before, a subtle grin on her face. “I’d ask how it went, but from the looks of it I don’t have to.”

 

Novak had the decency to blush a little deeper at her words, but Roger just chuckled as he came walking over to the couch. “Nope, you don’t”, he said amusedly and leaned down to kiss the younger man soundly before sitting down next to him. “I need coffee. Which one’s mine?”

 

Lynette handed him his cup. “Long night?”

 

“Very long, and then an early morning”, Roger answered before taking a long sip. “Seems like he doesn’t need as much sleep as I do.”

 

Novak smacked him for the somewhat too detailed revelations while Lynette just laughed. It wasn’t like she absolutely believed every word Roger said. Her son wasn’t really saying that to inform her, but to tease his lover, and she didn’t mind. It was too wonderful to see him this happy and relaxed.

 

They ate breakfast and quickly fell into easy conversation. Lynette couldn’t stop watching her son, especially his interaction with his lover. Nothing of the recent depression was left over, brown eyes sparkled with joy and happiness, and Novak wasn’t any different.

 

She didn’t stay for long. However much Roger appreciated her intervention, she was pretty sure he was not delighted that he had to behave on his last day with Novak before he had to let him go again. To her surprise, though, her son followed her to the door when she was about to leave, actually pulling the door shut behind him.

 

“What’s up?” she asked, curious what Roger wanted to talk to her about that he made sure Novak couldn’t hear.

 

“Could you call everyone in an hour earlier?”

 

“Sure, but why?” she asked. “C’mon, they need to know what this is about.”

 

“I’d like to do a new song tonight, though it isn’t really new, it’s a cover. Nothing too complicated, an hour will be enough to work it out. And I’d like him to be in the VIP area during Smash Into You. It’s not that big of a risk and I’ll tell him to wear a hoodie.”

 

“Okay”, Lynette said and was just about to turn around to go when Roger moved in for a hug.

 

“Thank you”, he said and the Swiss woman could hear the smile in his voice. “Though you know I can’t say I like it.”

 

“You don’t have to”, she laughed and looked her son in the eyes when he released her again. “You’re very welcome, Roger, and just for the record, if you hadn’t been such a jerk I wouldn’t have had to do any of that.” She winked at him. “And now go back inside, Novak’s probably feeling lonely already.”

 

~*~

 

“Stop right there.”

 

Roger looked up as he let the door of his hotel room fall closed, right into hazel green eyes and what he saw made him swallow, hard. That he was too, so fast actually that it almost made his knees give away.

 

Novak stared at him with unrestrained passion and desire, and if it hadn’t been so damn electrifying the Swiss might just have raced over and kissed the life out of him. This way, though, he watched the man swallow as well, and then he surprised Roger by saying in a dark voice: “Strip. Slowly.”

 

He felt hot all of a sudden, overheated and much more aroused than should be possible after a night and morning of intense and consuming sex. But these eyes… Good God.

 

“I only pulled this on not even an hour ago”, he managed to bring out, his voice raspy and hoarse, barely a shade of what it usually was.

 

“I don’t care”, the younger man said and shifted on the couch, undeniably just as hard from this as Roger was. “Take it off.”

 

And he did. If there was one thing he’d picked up over the last twenty years or so of his life it was how to move, on the court and on a stage, and Roger used it to his full advantage. Novak wanted to play games, so he might as well live with the consequences.

 

Then again, the way his lover moaned every time he revealed a bit more of his skin, or when he slowly moved his hips to non-existent music, maybe it wasn’t so much about backfiring than giving Novak exactly what he’d wanted. Roger was fine either way.

 

By the time he turned around to let his shirt fall to the ground oh-so-slowly, revealing his naked back, Novak groaned in despair. “Fucking hell, don’t tell me. You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

  
“I hate to tell you this, but I shower naked”, Roger gave back with a grin. Not looking at his lover definitely benefited the blood supply of his brain.

 

“Goddamn it, are you serious? You strip every day?” Novak asked, though his voice was full of amusement. “I had no idea you’re such a bad boy.”

 

He chuckled amusedly, but then turned around again to look intently at the Serb. “Speaking of which, I’m not wearing underwear. You sure you want me to go on?”

 

God, he loved that whimper that left his lover’s lips at his words. “Fuck, yes”, Novak replied and only then did Roger notice his tight grip on one of the couch’s pillows. Hmm.

 

“Only if you don’t touch yourself”, he smirked, especially when it made Novak groan in despair.

 

“I’m trying”, he grunted, “but I’d prefer not to promise anything.”

 

“That good, eh?”

 

The look Novak threw him said it all and before he knew it Roger was opening his jeans, the button first and then the fly. He did all of that annoyingly slowly, knowing exactly what it was doing to Novak and loving every moment of feeling that intense stare on him.

 

“For heaven’s sakes, take ‘em off already”, the Serb groaned and glared at him, causing Roger to chuckle.

 

“Impatient?”

 

“Damn right I am”, Novak said and this time his voice was barely more than a whisper. “I’ll have to leave in about 24 hours, and you take an eternity to open your damn jeans.”

 

His cock twitched in his pants, which Roger couldn’t really believe. They were meters apart and yet, with nothing but Novak’s dark erotic voice and his intense gaze, he was getting closer and closer to the edge. He found he didn’t want to wait any longer.

 

Turning around, Roger got another desperate moan as he finally let his jeans glide to the ground, eyes closing for a few seconds when the cool air of the room hit his most sensitive flesh. Novak’s gaze in contrast felt hot on his skin and the Swiss couldn’t stop himself from saying: “Tell me when you’ve gotten enough of staring at my ass.”

 

“We better not wait for that, even your patience must run out sometime”, Novak gave back smartly and Roger glanced at him over his shoulder, not at all surprised to see him smirking. “You look amazing, do you know that?”

 

“I think you’re biased.”

 

“Nah”, Novak shook his head and waved a hand, still smirking at him. “That’s broad agreement.”

 

Roger lifted an eyebrow. “How do you want to know?”

 

“I read”, the Serb chuckled. “A lot, actually. Reviews of your shows et cetera. Believe me, you looking great is common sense.”

 

“Is it?” With that the older man turned around, contently able to see Novak swallow yet again, eyes wandering down his body with unhidden desire.

 

“Yeah”, he gasped and Roger was pretty sure the bulge in his pants was getting even bigger than before. “It is. God.”

 

“Well, thanks, but that’s a bit exaggerated, don’t you think?” 

“No, I don’t think so.” Novak glanced up into Roger’s eyes. “Do you want to keep standing there all day?”

 

“You wanted me to stay right here and strip, which I did.”

 

“Well, now I want you to get over here.”

 

“And then?”

 

Novak blinked confusedly, and Roger had to bite back his laughter. God, he hadn’t had this much fun during sex in a long time, and he simply loved it.

 

“Uhm, then… You could fuck me?”

 

The Swiss just barely suppressed an all too visible shudder, though he still felt the sweat forming on his back. “Hmm, no.” This time the look on Novak’s face was even more hilarious and he couldn’t stop himself from chuckling. “Try again.”

 

“What’s this, a fucking guessing game?” Novak grumbled and shot Roger a glare. “Get your sexy ass over here.”

 

“I’m curious, why don’t you come here?”

 

“Because there’s definitely not enough blood left in my legs”, Novak stated bluntly, something else Roger absolutely loved about his lover. He could go on teasing like this forever, but his cock was throbbing and he really wanted to be close to Novak, to kiss him and, thank God no one could hear his thoughts right then, be fucked into oblivion.

 

“You want to know what I want?” Roger asked and slowly walked over to the young man, not bothering going on since he was pretty sure Novak wouldn’t have heard him anyway. His eyes were anywhere but at eye level, and Roger gently grasped his chin once he was within reach, urging the Serb to look up at him. “What I want?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Roger smirked. “Want to know?”

 

“What you want?”

 

“Nole, I swear…”

 

“I’m very sorry, but you’re kind of distracting me here and you’re way too hot for me to just ignore the fact that you’re currently standing right in front of me, naked and hard and… umph…”

 

The kiss was short, demanding and hot, and maybe a little too rough. It was exactly what they both wanted and needed. Roger smirked when Novak mindlessly grunted into it. “You with me again?”

 

“No”, his lover mumbled, his eyes glassy and dark from desire. “But I’m interested. What do you want?”

  
“I want you to fuck me.” The words had pretty much exactly the effect he’d hoped for, because a second later they were kissing wildly again, Novak’s hands framing his face as he stood up to push Roger back towards the bedroom.

 

“And I thought you couldn’t walk”, the older man teased once they broke apart to gasp for air, but grunted a moment later when his back collided with a wall.

 

“It’s all about the motivation.” Novak moved closer and had him pressed against the wall, causing Roger to groan loudly and throw his head back in pleasure. God, he would never get enough of feeling this amazing body against his.

 

He wanted to complain about the fact that Novak was still fully dressed, but then there were these horribly talented lips on his neck, demanding hands on his back, and Roger forgot about it. In fact he didn’t feel anything else than his lover, his lips and hands and warmth against his skin, and it was only then that the Swiss realized just how close to the brink he already was.

 

“Nole”, he whispered with slight desperation in his voice. “Nole…”

 

“Let’s get to the bed”, his young lover whispered back, obviously knowing what he wanted to say without even having to look at him, but Roger stopped him.

 

“No”, the Swiss gasped, biting his lip to keep from moaning at the prospect of what he was about to ask. “Fuck me here. Against the wall.”

 

Novak’s eyes opened and for a moment he just looked at him with that intense stare of his. Roger didn’t give him more than a few seconds before he reached out to open his pants, effectively erasing every bit of doubt.

 

“I don’t have a condom on me”, his lover then said, causing Roger to smirk. He liked getting what he wanted without too much of a fight, and it probably wasn’t like Novak didn’t like the outlook of fucking him like this. At least if the arousal in his eyes was as good an indication as he thought.

                                                                                 

“Yes”, he said and reached around to grasp Novak’s sexy ass, giving a tight squeeze before reaching into the pocket and pulling out the plastic. “You do.”

 

“How did you…”

 

“Magic. Now fuck me, Nole.”

 

His demanding tone was maybe a bit too eager, too desperate, but Roger didn’t care. He was so damn hard and all he wanted by now was release, and in a way that’d make sure he’d still feel this the next day.

 

“Lube?”

 

Roger knew that was necessary, but he didn’t like it. They hadn’t done it this way the night before, so he definitely wouldn’t be able to just take Novak. He didn’t have lube on him, though, and he didn’t want the younger man to go away to get some now. After a moment he reached for his hand, eyes searching Novak’s as he slowly sucked his index finger into his mouth.

 

“Not the best lubricant there is”, the Serb remarked, but still added a second finger for Roger to suck on. “God, you have no idea how hot this is, Roger.”

 

He smiled around the fingers in his mouth, while simultaneously working on the man’s pants to finally get them off. His hand closed around the hard cock he found as he pushed the fabric down, giving a few tight squeezes and hard pulls that made Novak’s eyes flutter shut.

 

They worked around the pants and then, finally, they were gone, leaving his lover wearing only Roger’s very own tee that he’d pulled on after their joined shower. Novak moved closer again and then he was pulling his fingers out of his mouth, just to reach around Roger a moment later.

 

“Move your…”, he started saying, but the older man was faster as he wrapped one leg around his waist. “Eager, aren’t we?”

 

“Stop talking, Djokovic”, Roger said seductively, bringing his mouth close to the sensitive skin of his ear. “And yes, I’m eager. I can’t wait to feel you inside me. I’d take any bet that you can’t wait for that, either.”

 

He wanted to go on rambling, knowing how much Novak loved hearing his voice, how much it turned him on, but he couldn’t. A finger gently slipped into him, the sensation a little awkward, after all they hadn’t seen each other for quite a while, and even then bottoming wasn’t all that frequent for Roger.

 

“You’re so hot, baby”, Novak whispered and added a second finger, twisting them around, searching for something while opening him up for his cock. “So tight. I can’t wait to be in you, doing this over and over again…”

 

It was by God not the first time someone hit that sweet spot inside him, but the lost whimper in Roger’s throat might just have meant exactly that. Novak was probably a bit stunned, too, because he halted in his movements for a few seconds. Before Roger could complain, though, he did it again, and again, and the Swiss found himself rearing up, his nerves set alight with fire.

 

He wanted to tell Novak that he was ready to take this further, but Roger couldn’t form any coherent words. There was a desire inside him all of a sudden that was totally consuming, taking away every other thought than his need for more.

 

And it seemed like Novak knew, because he didn’t ask what he wanted again. He just pulled his fingers out of Roger, took the condom from his hand and, after putting it on, brought them into the right position.

 

He was admittedly taller than Roger and it was coming in handily. There was a moan on his lips as Novak pushed into him, stretching him, filling him so perfectly. It was only then that he realized how badly he’d missed that. He loved taking Novak, he really did, but there was something incredibly intimate about this, surrendering completely to the man he loved so damn fucking much.

 

The older man heard himself whimper yet again and he grasped Novak’s shoulders hard enough to leave marks, but neither of them cared. There was no way his lover didn’t notice how overwhelmed he was, and Roger supposed it should bother him much more than it did.

 

But this was exactly what their previous night had been about, hadn’t it? Admitting what he needed and allowing Novak to give it to him. Well, Roger was very aware of his own needs and wishes, and from now on all he could do was hope that the Serb was ready to handle each and every one of them.

 

For the moment, though, his needs were pretty obvious and he emitted an encouraging moan when Novak pulled out and thrust back into him experimentally. However he halted again, causing Roger to lean his head back against the wall and look at Novak.

 

“Feeling good?” the younger man asked, his dark eyes so beautiful with a breathtaking mix of love and arousal in them.

 

“You must be kidding”, Roger whispered back and swept in for a soft kiss. “I’m good”, he then added, faintly wondering how much more assurance Novak needed to start moving. “Fuck me.”

 

Their gazes met again and it was only then that he realized that his lover was actually close to tears. He felt a pang in his heart, but if he was honest Roger couldn’t say that he didn’t have similar feelings in that moment. This was so intimate, so beautiful, and he could imagine how good it felt for Novak that he had finally given up fighting him.

 

His hands moved up the young man’s still shirt clad torso and to his shoulders, pulling him close until they were clinging onto each other in a tight hug. “You can’t imagine how good this feels, baby”, he whispered into Novak’s ear, feeling the shiver that went through his body at his breath ghosting over his skin. “I love you for coming here and fighting for me. I love you for all the things you told me last night, no matter how hard it was for you. I love you for making love to me when I need it. I love you so much, Nole. You have no idea.”

 

“God, I love you so much, too”, Novak whispered and pressed his face against the side of his neck a second later. Tightening his grip around his lover, Roger decided to pretend that he didn’t notice the slight wetness against his skin.

 

It was all too much and still not enough at the same time. Everything about this moment was telling the older man what he wanted, what he really, _really_ wanted, more than anything else, but it was also so damn scary.

 

The last time he had needed someone this bad he’d ended up wanting to stop breathing, and now he was about to take that one last step again. And yet, when Novak eventually lifted his head to look at him with his gorgeous big eyes, Roger found himself talking before he could think twice about it.

 

“Make love to me, Nole”, he mumbled and finally reached for the hem of his shirt to pull it off. The moment the man was naked Roger placed his right hand where his heart was racing in his chest. “Make me yours.”

 

With a sound somewhere between a whimper and a groan Novak did as he asked, pressing Roger harder against the wall as he started to move his hips against his. After barely a few pulls and pushes the younger man moaned deeply, his hands wandering to Roger’s ass to lift him completely off the ground.

 

The Swiss was a bit surprised as he wrapped his legs tightly around Novak’s hips – he wasn’t heavy and fairly well-trained, but not exactly a lightweight either. He didn’t get to think about it for long though, since the new position caused Novak to glide even deeper into him with his next thrust. They both grunted out, and then there was no holding back anymore.

 

He didn’t know if he’d ever heard himself make these sounds before. Novak fucked him in a way that was both mindless and deliberate, finding his sweet spot at almost every single thrust. It seemed like he knew what Roger wanted before he did, taking him higher and higher without ever losing any of his intensity.

 

It was so good. Pre-cum was running down his achingly hard cock and his balls were so tight it was almost painful, but for some reasons Roger didn’t even want to come. Not yet anyway. He never felt like he could quite achieve the perfection he was thriving for, but this, right then - _that_ was perfection throughout.

 

Novak’s body was slick with sweat and the way he breathed heavily, muscles strained from effort, Roger knew that he was both close and getting tired from carrying him. His moans were getting louder and more frequent as well, resonating from the room’s walls every time he sank back into the hot tightness around him.

 

Knowing exactly what it felt like, the Swiss flexed his muscles around Novak, wanting to get him off faster so he could put him down again, but the younger man seemed to have other plans.

 

“Don’t”, Novak whispered against his neck and shifted his stance a bit, apparently knowing exactly what he was trying to do and not agreeing it was a good idea. “I want to make this last.”

 

“You sure?” Roger asked in between gasps, but then he could only groan as Novak nailed his prostate with his next hard thrust. His cock twitched and he let himself sink back against the wall, giving himself over completely to his lover’s mercy without any more thoughts.

 

And Novak did make it last. There was no denying how much effort he was putting into not coming too soon, his muscles tight as he forced himself to prolong his strokes into Roger. He was doing everything to slowly bring the older man closer to the edge, to let Roger’s orgasm build instead of just overwhelming him.

 

It would have been so easy for Novak to just snap his hips against him a couple of times and they’d both come fiercely, and it wasn’t like Roger would have minded. This way, though, he was just about to lose his mind. There didn’t exist anything else but the sensation of Novak’s cock moving inside him, touching all the right places and sending fireworks through his whole body.

 

The sounds were slipping from his young lover’s lips louder with every thrust, and when Roger finally came in a choked cry, Novak nothing but screamed out in pure pleasure. Every muscle in his body was tight, ripping his orgasm from the Serb while Roger felt like he was about to pass out.

 

He clung onto his lover, not even noticing as he bit down on the sensitive skin where his neck met the shoulder to keep from moaning all that loudly. It was so good, intense and all-consuming, and God he didn’t think he’d ever come this long before. His body convulsed again and again, shudder after shudder running through him and leaving Roger absolutely breathless and exhausted.

 

For a moment he feared he’d suffocate, unable to breathe as his body was still so impossibly tight, and Novak wasn’t any better. Roger could feel his choppy breaths against his neck, and slowly, very slowly, they came both down from their heights. 

 

A slightly uncomfortable grunt made him aware that his teeth were still sunk into Novak’s shoulder and Roger quickly pulled back. Blinking his eyes open he watched the angry red skin with a strange sense of satisfaction, his gaze fixed on it as the Serb slowly put him down with yet another grunt.

 

The movement caused him to slip out of Roger somewhat awkwardly, but he didn’t mind. Now that his orgasmic bliss was wearing off, Novak was obviously in pain and the older man slang his arms around him, pulling him close.

 

“Not bad”, he mumbled against his neck and hid his face in the crook of it. “Not bad at all.”

 

His words made Novak chuckle, though he flinched a moment later. “Fucking hell, thank God I don’t have a match tomorrow.”

 

“Sorry”, Roger whispered. _Sorry for making you take me like this, sorry for biting you, for causing you pain_.

 

“Don’t be”, Novak gave back and lifted his head to kiss him on the cheek. “It was too good for you to be sorry about anything.”

 

“I bit you pretty hard.”

 

“As far as I remember it was you who flinched in the shower this morning, when the water hit the scratch marks on your back.”

 

“Hmm, fair enough”, the Swiss agreed quite easily because really, his back had hurt like hell the first few seconds that he’d been underneath the shower spray. His words made Novak chuckle as he moved away a bit, carefully rolling his shoulders and head to get the knots out of his muscles.

 

Roger couldn’t stop staring at him, both because he wanted to see if it was as bad as it seemed, and because the movement was damn erotic. Eyes wandering over his lover’s body, the Swiss didn’t even notice when Novak stopped what he was doing to watch Roger watch him.

 

His gaze was stuck at his teeth mark on his lover’s shoulder, which was fairly deep and would probably still be there tomorrow, if not another day. He really shouldn’t love that thought so damn much, but fucking hell, Roger did.

 

“Seems to be quite a turn-on for you to leave a mark on me”, Novak’s voice eventually ripped him from his staring, the smirk all audible in his voice. He’d obviously caught him staring, but Roger couldn’t find it in himself to mind. It was true, wasn’t it?

 

“Yeah”, he replied and lifted a hand to soothingly stroke over the skin. “I like thinking you belong with me.”

 

“So do I.”

 

There was a smile on Novak’s lips and for a while they just looked at each other, the circles his fingers drew as they danced over his lover’s shoulder becoming bigger and bigger. Roger loved the feel of warm and incredibly soft skin, loved the intimacy of this sacred moment of quiet.  When he started to let both his hands wander over a strong back, though, Novak squirmed uncomfortably and Roger couldn’t help but frown.

 

“This doesn’t seem good.”

 

“Hasn’t been good for a couple of days.” Novak shrugged, seeming like he was done with the topic with that, but Roger wouldn’t let him get away that easily.

 

“Let’s get back to bed”, he suggested, but took the time to steal a gentle kiss before getting away from the wall. There was a little moan on his lips when his back cracked the moment he straightened up, but it was a good kind of crack, not painful but rather freeing.

 

He followed Novak into the bedroom, eyes fixed on him all the time as he removed the condom and threw it away before quickly cleaning himself up a bit. Roger was right behind him as he walked over to the bed and said: “On your stomach.”

 

His command brought him a short glance and then a smirk. “You know I prefer watching you while we, you know.”

 

Roger chuckled. “Yeah, I know. Just do it, Nole.” When all he got was another glance, the Swiss added softly: “Trust me. You’ll like it.”

 

It should be forbidden to look this good, but damn was he thankful that it was perfectly legal. Roger couldn’t get enough of staring at Novak’s naked backside as he lay down, the sight of that amazing ass almost enough to get him hard again. Too bad he’d just gotten his brain fucked out.

 

“Just tell me when you’ve gotten enough of staring at my ass, baby”, Novak quipped, causing Roger to laugh out loud and look up into his eyes, noticing the young man had turned his head to watch him.

 

“Better not wait for it.” With a smirk Roger got on the bed and on top of his lover, straddling his thighs before attaching his hands to his lower back. The moment he dug his thumbs into the muscles Novak gave a loud groan, body tensing up from pain. “Relax, honey, or this will only hurt more.”

 

He rubbed his hands over his skin as he waited for the Serb to give up his involuntary resistance. Eventually Roger tried again to loosen the muscles with his thumbs, carefully massaging the strong back in front of him. This time the moan he got was quiet, almost joyful, and the older man smirked as he felt Novak turn to butter beneath his hands.

 

“Good, eh?” he asked after a while.

 

“You have no idea”, the young man mumbled. “God, this is better than any back rub I ever got.”

 

“I take it I’d had a job if I needed one?”

 

“Definitely.” Novak was smiling, it was in his voice, and Roger found himself smiling, too. “It’s funny, though, as if you of all people needed a job. Tennis player, singer, songwriter, producer, director. We should probably add model and actor to that list as well. Did I forget something?”

 

“Not sure, I’ve done some shoe and clothes designing, I played piano and guitar on a couple of songs I’ve worked on, I…”

 

“Yeah, alright, I got it”, the young man interrupted him not so gently, but with a rich laughter. “Sometimes I wonder how you even have time to be a son, brother and friend besides all that.”

 

“Lover”, Roger added and smiled when Novak turned to look at him confusedly.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You forgot the most important thing.” The older man lay down on Novak slowly, covering his back as he brought his mouth to his ear, lightly kissing him on the shell. “I’m a lover, too. _Your_ lover and actually, to me, that’s the most important job of all the ones you just mentioned.”

 

It was like the man underneath him was completely frozen, not reacting to his words at all, but Roger didn’t mind. He was smiling as he pressed a kiss into Novak’s hair, loving what he smelled when he breathed deeply.

 

Roger didn’t believe in God, but this was definitely the closest to heaven he could get. There he was, all of a sudden, with the one thing he’d always known was most important to him – love. For all of the money, all of the fame, this was what really mattered in life.

 

Novak was in love with him, and Roger with him. And God was it amazing to finally be able to live it, to feel it. He still wouldn’t be able to walk on the street and scream it out loud, but they’d work on that. Definitely.

 

He had everything he wanted in that moment, and Roger could only barely suppress a very silly giggle, but his happiness just wanted to break out of him. It felt so good, so perfect, especially when he showed Novak yet again how much he appreciated him by making slow love to him.

 

“I love you so much”, he whispered into Novak’s ear again and again, feeling the truthfulness of it in every fiber of his body. And the best part was that Roger could enjoy it now. He could embrace it, with nothing but bubbling joy in his chest.

 

It was a beautiful contrast to the fear and anxiety of the last months, and it didn’t even matter anymore that technically Roger knew that he could still get hurt. All he felt was love and joy and happiness, and it was all that more beautiful knowing it was exactly what Novak was feeling, too.

 

“How about holidays?” Roger asked as he moved to slink his arm around Novak from behind, cuddling up to his back. “Just you and me.”

 

“Are you serious?” Novak asked with a broad smile on his face. “When?”

 

“Don’t know, after my world tour.”

 

“There’s a string of tournaments, you know we can’t get away then. Not until after Wimbledon, and then the Olympics are coming up, too.”

 

“After Wimbledon then”, Roger smiled and lightly kissed the young man on his neck, chuckling when Novak grumbled quietly at the tickling. “Just four days, maybe a week. We’ll see.”

 

“What if we get caught?” the young man asked and turned his head to look at Roger. “I mean, really, it’s a possibility. You’re kind of famous.”

 

“Well”, he shrugged. “My parents know, yours will know by then, so I guess I don’t care.”

 

Novak laughed at his words. “Though, knowing you, there’s a hell of a good chance we’ll get away without anyone knowing where to anyway, isn’t there?”

 

“Hmm, I know a couple of beautiful and very solitary places”, the older man chuckled. “Maybe I’ll show you some of them.”

 

“I don’t really care, you know.”

 

“About where we’ll spend our holidays?”

 

“That too, yeah”, Novak laughed again. “But I meant us getting caught, together, as a couple. Honestly, I don’t know how much longer I can pretend you don’t mean the world to me anyway. Maybe I’ll just kiss you at a press conference soon. It’ll make things a lot easier.”

 

“I love the idea, actually”, Roger said after a few moments of thinking about it, a broad grin on his face. “And believe me, the moment your parents know, we’re going to sit down and think about at which exact press conference you’ll kiss me like you just said, ‘cause I can’t wait to grope your sexy ass whenever I want to.”

 

They both laughed and Roger tightened his hold around Novak, feeling like they couldn’t possibly be close enough. “Are you coming to the concert later?”  

 

“I’d like to. Why are you bringing it up?” 

 

“Mum will pick you up, if that’s okay with you. I want to get there a bit sooner than usual.”

 

“Sure, why?”

 

“To work something out, nothing major”, Roger explained vaguely, not wanting to be too cryptic, but also trying to not give too much away. This was meant to be a surprise, after all. “Though this does mean I’ll have to leave in two hours.”

 

“Only two?” Novak asked and lifted one eyebrow, but he didn’t look half as suggestive as he’d probably liked to. Roger knew exactly what he was feeling and he couldn’t resist leaning in for a long kiss, pouring every bit of emotion into it that he was feeling.

 

“I’ll miss you too”, he whispered. “I miss you already.”

 

“I’m still here, you know”, Novak noticed with a smirk, but it was in his eyes that he was feeling pretty much the same. “I’ll take the first flight to America after Monte Carlo, and don’t even try to tell me I don’t have to.”

 

Roger simply smiled. He was very aware that he hadn’t even wanted to stop Novak from travelling across half the world to see him, mainly because it was exactly what he wanted. More than anything else.

 

“I can’t wait”, he eventually replied, seeing the slight surprise in Novak’s eyes. It was soon replaced by overflowing happiness and Roger found himself laughing amusedly. “God, I love you. Do you have any idea what that smile of yours is doing to me?”

 

“I’ve got an idea, yeah”, Novak mumbled and this time the seductive smirk on his lips was far more convincing than before.

 


	30. Chapter 27 - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concert that night is a special one.

 

 

 

When Roger got onto the stage that night, everything was different. Except _Halo_ , none of the songs he did were actually written about Novak, but that was what he felt like. _Crazy In Love_ , _Smash Into You_ , _Flaws and All_ , _Hello_ , _At Last_ , _Still In Love_. And it made him pour every bit of his heart into each moment, giving his all like he hadn’t really done since the opening concert and the ones in New York.

 

It was special now, doing what he loved knowing the man he loved even more was right there watching. His mum kept her promise, and during _Smash Into You_ Roger could see Novak in the VIP area across the arena, even if he was nothing but a shadow in the distance. He knew they were filming it, and he knew he’d put this moment on the DVD. It was what he would always remember about this tour, and Novak deserved to know that.

 

Roger could feel his heart beating stronger at the excitement of knowing he was singing his heart out for the man he loved so much. And he just knew that Novak knew. There was so much going on, and it was somehow all that much more beautiful to know that the thousands of people with them weren’t even aware of it.

 

This was between them, and then, after _Single Guys_ , Roger changed the set list yet again, which he’d already done quite a few times before. From the moment he’d woken up this morning, looking into the most beautiful eyes, he’d had this one song stuck in his head and it was almost overwhelming to sing it out loud that night.

 

_I wake up in the morning_

_Put on my face_

_The one that's gonna get me_

_Through another day_

_Doesn't really matter_

_How I feel inside_

_'Cause life is like a game sometimes_

_But then you came around me_

_The walls just disappeared_

_Nothing to surround me_

_And keep me from my fears_

_I'm unprotected_

_See how I've opened up_

_You've made me trust_

_Because I've never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you_

_Does it show?_

_You see right through me_

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

_I'm trying to remember why I was afraid_

_To be myself and let the covers fall away_

_I guess I never had someone like you_

_To help me, to help me fit in my skin_

_I never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you_

_Does it show?_

_You see right through me_

_And I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you_

_And it feels so right_

 

He wiped away the little tear that had fallen at the last line and went on to _Halo_ , which was without a doubt the most important song of the whole evening. All of this night was for Nole, but this song had been about him right from the start. God, Roger never would have thought that Charleston, West Virginia would become such a turning point in his life, but right then he nothing but loved the city.

 

When everything was over and Roger was back in his dressing room, when the door opened and Novak came in, they didn’t talk. They walked to each other, meeting halfway and then they were just kissing, long and deep and so incredibly intimate.

 

The Swiss felt like he didn’t want to ever let go of him again, and for that night, literally, he didn’t. He knew he had to let go of Novak the next morning, but they’d be together again as soon as possible, Roger knew that for certain and it felt so impossibly good.

 

He could finally admit his deep longing for Novak not only to himself, but also to the young man and though it didn’t change a thing about the fact that they had to separate, Roger felt much better. Not having to hold back anymore was freeing in a way that made him happy like he hadn’t been in so long.

 

There was still a chance that they could grow apart, that the feelings between them could change, but right then Roger was willing to risk it. They had something wonderful at the moment, and if he was honest it wasn’t like anything he’d ever experienced before. Just looking at Novak made him want to cry and laugh at the same time, and if that’s what true love felt like, then God did he like it.

 

Roger found himself looking forward to the next couple of months, at the time after his world tour when they could establish a certain routine in their lives that would give them the stability he knew they both needed because of their life styles. They’d have to cope with families and fame, and of course all the prejudices that were as sure to come as the sun would rise the next morning.

 

And yet they’d always have each other, and it was that knowledge that made the Swiss fall asleep with a smile on his face, arms tightly wrapped around his beautiful young lover.

 

 

 #fin (part 1)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter was very short and probably unsatisfying, but I can calm everyone who's overly excited for more. I'm already deep into part 2 of this series, I've already written over 80,000 words and a lot is about to happen. There's the death of Novak's grandfather, the last concert of Roger's tour, their teams, Novak's parents, and on top of that a lot of new problems and complications that are going to make 2012 very hard for both them.  
> I don't know yet when I'll start posting, but it won't be too long. My beta will probably have time to read this second part at the start of August, but I have yet to decide whether I'll start posting before having finished the complete part or not. 
> 
> Anyway, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who's been reading this, and a very VERY big THAAAAANKS to those of you who've taken the time to comment. I love reading what you think about this, and I really hope, now that the first part is completed, even those who haven't done so yet will let me know what they think. It's what authors of fanfiction thrive for, really, because we're not getting paid and for me, the reaction of those who read my stuff is where I find my motivation. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone, and until next time! :-)
> 
>  
> 
>  **EXCLUSIVE** : I will announce the title of Part 2 of the Revelations series exclusively to the [fedvicslash-community on LJ](http://fedvicslash.livejournal.com/) in only a couple of days, and maybe other exclusive content before I'll start publication. If you like this pairing and can't wait to get more info about Part 2, then join the community now. 


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